Things just flow

Wesley was conditioned to make others happy, and there’s a lot of moments before his 20 where he felt like a failure because of that.

Since he’s the older twin and treated by his father as “the perfect one”, he was conditioned at first to make others happy, no matter what did he wanted. This was at first to prepare him to take over the familiar bussiness that his father wanted him to, since he thought Weslow was “the stained one”, excluding him from all this process and forcing Wesley to go through this whole thing alone.

During that time, his “comfort outlet” was Weslow, since he was the one taking him out of boring meetings and severe scolds.

This is another key thing. Weslow always thought Wesley’s comfort outlet was their mom since he always took him to her to make him feel better, but the real one was Weslow, because everytime he appeared Wesley knew he would be alright. He used to trust Weslow blindly.

‘Till this day Wes always remembers his little brother to tell him “do whatever makes you happy”, and till now it’s a real pain for him to think what makes him really happy because he’s already conditioned as “make others happy, so you can be happy”.

Things got the bad habit of going fast like in a highway and slow down in the worst moments, passing by slowly to get that picture burnt into your head, to wake you up in the middle of the night, wet in cold sweat, that pain in the chest going up your throat, that picture in your mind, squeezing the eyelids to finally sob until falling asleep again.

Weston was tired, dizzy on his bed, his life had been taking so many turns he’s almost about to puke. It has been 5 years since the worst turn of events he could had pass through, life seemed normal, everyone with their eyes on him, expecting him to show his best, for the sake of their children, while him… he was broken inside.

Weston Hannibal O’Kerdreux is a teacher on his own little dancing school, a place that is just a big room with a restroom where only can go one person at the time, and thanks to the kids innocence, they come already dressed, ready to just get on the practice. He loved his job, it was his dream since he was 15, and with the little currency he had in the beginning, plus some extra Jobs, he managed to have a licence and rent a place. Now this wasn’t his place, but someday he would have his own academy.

He got up and walked slowly to the bathroom, ready to throw up wherever. His face pale, eyes red, a couple of teeny tiny holes over his lips, under those, and at each side of the nose bridge. Nothing new. The water was cold, ideal to wake him up, so he got into the shower before these could get warmer, hitting his skin like a cool piece of synthetic leather, now he was awake. Back at his room he got the clothes he was going to use, today at class and outside the building, placed the ones for school into a bag and left the rest to get dressed after the breakfast.

Breakfast used to be fresh bread, good coffee, a couple of eggs and maybe some fried ham, there was something on bacon or panceta that Weston didn’t like at all, and sometimes it could be pancakes. But this late years his stomach can barely hold a cup of instantaneous coffee and maybe a toast from a bread that has been on a shelf for maybe a week or two to be stored in a dusty cupboard for a whole month or till its expiration date. His life seemed as normal as the rest.

-So a watery coffee and a toast it is- he thought until he saw the clock and noticed how late he was probably his mind got blurry during the shower, but that didn’t matter, neither the toast. He got a White slice of bread and sunk it in the coffee to get both stuffs faster into his mouth, only to active the gag reflex as he ran to his room and dressed up as fast as he could.