stuff and things

the fact that she's still calling for ava to help her when she sees a submarine, says she's been looking for her for ages, is probably screaming and begging for rescue the entire time- but can't be understood unless you spend enough time in the blood ocean, unless you're just as doomed as her.

her mentioning that she heard the submarine get pulled up the first time, that surely there must be a way to leave, which means the first time she caught the sm-13 in her mouth she was only trying to get home, was desperately trying to hold onto the one chance she thought she had for rescue.

her quiet grief when she realizes that the convict inside has only one bar of air left, and the sorrow in her voice when she says he's not going to make it. trying to be gentle when she tells him to control his breathing, that it's not the worst fate down here.

her clear disgust at what the butcher did to the Filament station, her horror that an entire station is lost but still not being able to just swim away from the only human contact she's had in who knows how long.

elsie, the speaker, the research lead who has held onto her sanity despite everything, who knows the full scope of the blood ocean, the voice of reason- asking so fucking quietly if he'd give anything to survive. knowing what it's done to her, knowing that she'll condemn him to darkness forever. asking if he would like to live on and then sending him to the light to be mutated into something new and survive by leaving his humanity behind.

elle, the whisper, still aware of what's happening even as she goes insane, knowing that her mind has been burst by trying to comprehend the pinhole god. furious that the eye has chosen simon instead after all her suffering.

elsie who now remembers the full horror of it, who knows that if the humans left start making food from the blood, it will slowly warp them all into monsters like her, who knows that the information in the sm-8 cannot reach the surface- even if it means killing ava.

both of them screaming at simon to stop in the end, only trying to kill him because they're trying to save him from turning into them, because can he not see that the truth will drive what's left of humanity insane, can he not see that the pinhole god wants him to fuse with the tree so that he stays down there like them forever- swimming alone in the darkness of the blood ocean, terrified and in agony, with no hope of rescue.

Finally able to sit and draw ❤️✨ Her ❤️✨

I caved. Have some really quick (and shitty) bloodymary

Edit: This is the song that inspired me to this btw, if you like stuff like this. No real coalition or anything I just REALLY like this song, it puts me in a mood and I keep coming back to it.

Lwk sometimes I think about how the whole 'Ellie the Eel having access to the consciousness of previous SM-## pilot's' without it being a whole magic blood kind of thing. Like what if the mouth teeth on Simon crawls to his back leaving his spine exposed to where it can physically connect to Ellie and then actually be used and fused to the other SM pilots consciousnesses.

Simon being a cutie patoodie moment. He means everything to me guys.