Green Tranquility

Stay purposeful. Keep those eyes wide open, standing for positive change, positive impact. Getting the message out.  I need someone on my side. First and foremost. I do not thrive alone. Not anymore. And more than anything, I am afraid that when she takes her last breath in September, my best friend will be gone, and I will be back to fend for myself in this lonely world.

I think about Monianne passing, and falling back into the unknown of my own self-driven wanderings. I wander if walking the earth as a creative, expesially in the overwheling, over populated now is the right place for me, simply because I feel so over run by life. I feel so alone. I feel so without guidance, without direction. I see so much of myself in Maggie Rogers, who walked through Alaska, training to become a trail guide because music wasnt inspiring her at the time. I feel so much of myself in that statement. Like my walks in nature are my breaking away from my acting. But then she went back and she made an Album, and she suddenly became discovered. How do I just ‘go back’ to acting? How do I find myself performing? How do I find people to give me a role? How do I show face? How? How do I just do it myself? I am so lost. So overwhelmed and there is something inside me that absolutely needs to come out, needs to fly, needs to be seen, needs to perform and share love in that way.  I need to look for an apprenticeship, a mentor.