Man i love fanfiction

Lucifer

He's in love with you, and he never really paid much attention tot it until he realised it while trying to write a punishment report about you. You and Mammon had somehow managed to cause property damage at three separate locations within a single afternoon, and Lucifer is sitting at his desk documenting the incident with the sort of exhausted professionalism that only centuries of sibling management and a surprising amount of patience can produce. Everything was going fine until he reached the section where he's supposed to list repeat offences and catches himself smiling because the last time you'd gotten in trouble, you'd tried bribing him with a week of clean record. Lucifer immediately stops writing, then stares at the paper, then averts his gaze to the wall. Then rereads the sentence he just wrote and discovers he'd accidentally described you as "endearing" while trying to note down your behaviours during the situation. The report was later left abandoned for the rest of the evening.

Mammon

Mammon realises it as he's TRYING to prove he isn't. Somebody—cough Leviathan cough—accuses him of being attached to you both physically and emotionally, and naturally Mammon launches into a dramatic speech about how he doesn't need you following him around all the time, and he'd do completely fine without you. In fact, he'll prove it, or so he thought. He planned to spend the entire day doing his own thing: no texts, no calls, no hanging out. Easy! But well... Six hours later, he's standing in the devilmart holding your favourite snack because he forgot his own challenge halfway through and instinctively bought something for you. The cashier had to repeat the total three times because Mammon is busy realising he may be the dumbest demon alive for realising it now.

Leviathan

Levi really didn't even know he was falling until during a convention, after you've spent six straight hours showing interest in his interests without a single complaint. You're carrying bags after you two were out for some shopping (surprisingly he tagged along after Asmo was supposedly missing to be your shopping buddy), discussing lore, listening to him ramble about obscure game mechanics, and somehow still look genuinely interested. At one point, he started apologising automatically for talking too much, his words stumbling here and there as he looked like he was one wrong look away from disappearing, expecting the usual reassurance for his constant shyness. Instead, you immediately launch into another question about the said game topic because you actually want to hear the answer and don't mind the rambling. Levi immediately forgets what he was saying. Nobody has ever made him feel less like a burden before. And unfortunately, that revelation collides directly with the realisation that he's staring at you like the protagonist of a romance anime. Oh shoot, you actually care enough to listen and stay. HE'S PANICKING LMAO

Satan

He had been trying to find a book he'd been looking for for months. An actual rare edition, too; the kind he'd spent weeks tracking down through obscure shops and even more obscure collectors. Normally, this would be the highlight of his week after a book hunt victory. He'd take it to his room, make himself tea, and disappear for the rest of the day until he finished the book. Instead, the second he gets his hands on it, his first thought is, "I should show them". Yep... He stops walking abruptly. Taking his sweet time to process what he just thought against his own better judgment, staring at the book in his hands like suddenly it's some curse. Why, exactly, would he want to do that? You probably don't even know how difficult it was to find. You certainly wouldn't appreciate the publication history behind it. Yet somehow the urge to find you and watch you smile politely while he rambles about it is stronger than the urge to immediately start reading. Frankly, he's offended by this development. He spends the next ten minutes trying to convince himself he's only looking for you because you'd be happy for him, which is a perfectly normal thing friends do. Unfortunately, the more he argues with himself, the more obvious the truth becomes. By the time he finally spots you, he's already decided he's absolutely not in love with you. He's just going to tell you about the book... That's all. The fact that he accidentally spends twenty minutes talking to you before even opening it is or even talking about the book itself, naturally, is totally unrelated and has nothing to do with him being in love. Totallyyy.

Asmodeus

Somebody mistakes you for his partner, and he corrects them automatically, and that's what threw him into the void of thoughts and realisation. It's such a reflexive response that he doesn't even think about it at first; he just laughs, flashes the demon a smile and says "Oh, no, we're not together". The conversation moves on, but for some reason he can't, he's stuck on it. Hours later, he's still thinking about it. Not because the demon got it wrong, but because of the strange feeling that settled in his chest when he corrected them. He starts replaying the exact moment, imagining what would've happened if he'd just smiled and let them assume. Then, much to his horror, he realises the reason it bothered him so much is that he didn't want to correct them. In fact, a small, embarrassingly sincere part of him wished they were right. And once that thought appears, everything else falls into place. The affection, the emotional attachment, the way he always gravitates toward you in a crowded room, how he always keeps you close. By the end of the day, Asmo is sprawled dramatically across a couch, mourning the fact that he voluntarily told the entire world you weren't his when, apparently, all he wants is to be yours. And you are just there, confused that you are the reason he is like this atm.

Beelzebub

Beel doesn't realise he's in love because, unfortunately ehh, Beel is Beel. The realisation happens for literally everyone else first, and Asmo claims to have known it from the start. You're all sitting together at "Horror's Horror" eating dessert when you casually mention that you've never tried whatever dessert Beel ordered. Without even looking up, he immediately holds out his fork and gives it to you. The last bite. The sacred bite, as Mammon would like to call it. The bite he'd been saving for the end to enjoy. You thank him and eat it, paying it no second thought. Beel just nods and keeps talking like nothing happened. The entire table goes silent, PAINFULLY so. Mammon is the first to react (ofc he was).

"WHAT DO YA MEAN YOU JUST GAVE 'EM THE LAST BITE?!" He practically shrieks, half-standing out of his chair already, "BEEL, YOU WOULDN'T GIVE ME THE LAST BITE IF I WAS DYIN'!"

Beel blinks, genuinely lost, "You are not dying, though."

Mammon looks ready to pass out or explode, maybe both, "THAT AIN'T THE POINT!"

By now, the rest of the brothers are staring. Even Lucifer has lowered his newspaper. Mammon is fully losing his mind, pointing dramatically across the table. "The Devildom could be ending. There could be total destruction. And if somebody pleaded, 'Beel, give up your last bite to save us,' you'd ask if there was another option!"

Beel frowns, genuinely considering this, "Maybe". Mammon lets out a noise of pure anguish. Meanwhile, Beel is still completely oblivious to why everyone is acting weird, only realising much later that night that giving you the last bite hadn't even felt like a sacrifice. In fact, seeing you enjoy it had somehow made him happier than eating it himself. Oh. Well. That explains a lot.

Belphegor

Belphie realised he was totally gone for you while you were being unbelievably annoying. At least, that's what he tells himself. You've somehow inserted yourself into his afternoon nap by sitting nearby and talking, completely uninvited, not even aware whether Beel was in their shared room or not while he keeps his eyes closed and pretends not to listen. Every few minutes, he throws out a dry comment telling you to be quiet or go bother someone else, and naturally you ignore him, knowing how grumpy and too extra he could be. Then, at some point, you get up and leave. The room goes silent, peaceful even. Exactly what he wanted. So why is he suddenly irritated? It wasn't in his nature to be like this just when he gets the precious time to sleep with no one breathing down his neck every second. Why is he opening one eye to check if you're actually gone? Why does the room feel weirdly empty now? Belphie spends several minutes sulking about it before the answer finally clicks into place, and it annoys him even more than before. The next time he sees you, he immediately acts like nothing happened and keeps telling you you're annoying, but more passive-aggressively and more often than before, as if it would somehow mask the fact he's in love. Unfortunately, he also ends up sitting next to you just five minutes later.

Solomon

And of course, the sorcerer realised during a cooking disaster. Specifically, a cooking disaster caused by him- cliché. The kitchen is full of smoke, half the ingredients are unrecognisable, and everyone nearby has evacuated for safety reasons. Everyone except you. You're standing beside him laughing so hard you're crying, occasionally clutching your stomach whenever your eyes land on the thing he'd somehow managed to create—a mess that looked less like food and more like some demonic entity that had come to life after being cooked—while still trying to help clean up around it. Most people would have left... most people should have left. Yet there you are, treating another one of Solomon's culinary crimes against nature like it's the funniest thing you've ever seen. Somewhere between the smoke alarm and your laughter, Solomon realises he'd happily burn down a thousand kitchens if it meant getting to see that expression again. (No thank, love, next time we can rely on restuarants ^^;)

Diavolo

It was a formal event where he was expected to spend the entire evening networking. Nobles are introducing themselves, socialites are discussing alliances, and Diavolo is politely smiling through all of it. Then he spots you across the room looking painfully bored and wary, obviously since you were a human among demons. The next thirty minutes are spent trying—and failing—to finish conversations as quickly as possible because all he wants to do is go stand beside you and accompany you. Every time he starts moving in your direction, another noble somehow appears. At one point, Barbatos quietly steps in front of him and redirects him toward a visiting dignitary—probably someone close to his father—with the smooth efficiency of someone preventing a natural disaster. Diavolo actually tries to look around him. Barbatos, completely deadpan, reminds him that as the future Demon King, he is currently supposed to be hosting the event rather than stalking a single guest across the ballroom. The realisation hits Diavolo right then, because his immediate thought isn't embarrassment—it's pouty annoyance that Barbatos is right. He's smiling more at the idea of making you laugh than he has during the entire evening, and unfortunately Barbatos notices that too. He says nothing; somehow that's worse— or good?? Depending how you want to take it.

Barbatos

Barbatos surprisingly realises he's in love far later than everyone else. Not because the feelings weren't there, but because he'd been following them almost entirely on instinct without ever stopping to examine them. He started scheduling his day around you without noticing, and it begins innocently enough too. Tea at a certain hour because you tend to pass through then. Completing tasks slightly earlier because you mentioned wanting to visit. Adjusting schedules by a few minutes here and there. Nothing major, or well, he tried to make sure of it. Then one afternoon, Diavolo casually asks whether a certain meeting time was changed for political reasons. Barbatos opens his mouth to answer and then realises the meeting was indeed moved, but not for the reason the Demon Prince thought. But because it conflicted with one of your visits. The silence that follows afterwards is truly devastating.

Simeon

Lucifer

To those of you who say he is too prideful to peel an orange for you, do I need to point out that he is the eldest sibling? Not only that, but he's practically a single mom. He has Sloth as the baby brother of the family. Do you think Belphie peels his own oranges? No! Lucifer probably cuts the crusts off of his brother's sandwiches for heaven sakes.

Is it heaven sakes or heaven's sake?... I actually don't know

However, I do think he would get suspicious, especially if you're trying to film his reaction. He would raise an eyebrow and know that there's something more to you just wanting an orange. Is this orange cursed? Is this a prank? You'll have to convince him it's perfectly normal before he straight up refuses.

Is he going to get up from his desk or move away from work to go grab you an orange? Probably not. But if you bring it to him, he will peel it for you, giving you a weird- and maybe slightly judging- look the entire time.

He will peel it very nicely, but you would have to take the peel back to toss yourself all while demanding to know why you have such a smirk on your face.

If you explain it to him, he'll definitely get a bit smug. "Who knew all it would take to prove my love to you was peeling an orange? If you needed some assurance, I would've gladly provided more for you."

He wins this one. He peeled the orange.

But...he might be asking his own favor from you later. So, minus one point for that, but they do say the devil dances in dealings, so...

7/10

Mammon

"Huh? Why do you need me to peel it for you, your hands broken or somethin'? I'm not your damn maid."

He is already peeling the orange. He is somehow managing to grumble and act like he's not doing it while he is in the process of doing it.

And if you don't have oranges on hand? Just give him any excuse to go shopping and he will take it. And not only will he peel those oranges, he'll buy them for you too.

And sure maybe he's a little ditsy and might not know what the difference between an orange, a tangerine, and a clementine is (they're all orange, dammit), but he will be buying you ALL of them just in case.

Listen, he's a man with impulse problems and an intense desire to be your number one demon.

Did he probably spend the next few hours in the store getting himself stuff as well? Probably, yeah. He see shiny, he get shiny.

But don't worry. He will peel you that orange.

And you will be eating an assortment of orange colored fruits for the next few days.

Is...this a peach?

9/10

Levi

If he's gaming, probably not. Some games can't be paused. And it's not even that he doesn't want to, he'll probably be glad to do so, but he'll do it once this round is over.

And then he'll probably forget. Which, fair, I do it too. You get into the zone and then six hours have passed. Sometimes the measure of love can't always be held behind an orange.

However!

If a controller is not in his hand and his mind is not occupied by several random colorful flashes, he might peel the orange.

BUT

If too many other people are around, he might get anxiety.

You know when you somehow manage to fumble peeling an orange? You can't manage to break the peel properly or you end up dropping it and looking like a fool?

If you've never had performance anxiety over peeling an orange, you... well that's actually really good, you must have a much more peaceful mind-- but it exists for us anxious people, okay?! It's too much pressure!

In the end, he's very situational! But that doesn't mean he refuses to peel you an orange! It would actually make him very happy to do that for you...

5/10

Satan

Very confused. Will ask too many questions before he does anything.

Are you hurt? Is the peel too tough for human fingers? If you're having a hard time using your fingers, why not get a knife or a tool to assist you? Why are you in his room rather than the kitchen? Is that not a waste of energy? What if he'd not been here, would you have wandered around?

He doesn't get it. He means well though.

He might get a little irritated, not so much at you as at himself. He feels like he's missing something.

Is this some form of human bonding? Are you afraid of the orange? What secrets does it hold?

He will peel it for you. He'll even put his book down to do so.

But please answer his questions, he can't find the logic in seeking him out just to peel a fruit for you. He can list off several other more efficient methods.

If you explain it to him, you'll see him visibly relax. So there was some deeper meaning.

Although now he might think that this form of act is some sort of love declaration. Prepare to have him peel and/or cut all your fruits from now on. Which... is actually kind of sweet. What a gentleman.

8/10

Asmo

No... with his nails?! Please. I've only worn fake nails like twice in my entire life, and doing anything like that with those little suckers hurts like hell. Why?? Tried to open a can once and thought my real nail would peel right off.

And even if he's not wearing fake nails, getting that pulpy orange peel underneath your fingernails?! Having the juice make your fingers all sticky? No. Awful. Bad texture. I've always headcanoned Asmo with texture issues, and if his are even close to being like mine, it's gonna be a no.

BUT

If you want an orange so badly, I can guarantee he knows all these cute little places around town that make delicious fruit selections! He'd probably go out and get you one of those beautiful and decorative edible fruit arrangements and make sure they somehow include lots of orange.

Or, if you don't want that and you just want a normal orange right NOW, he'll charm someone else to peel it for you, hon. Don't even worry.

And once it's peeled, to make up for not doing it himself, he'll be all to happy to feed it to you if you want him to. ~

Never underestimate the lengths he'll go to provide for you and himself at the same time.

6.5/10 I appreciate the hustle.

Beel

I... I mean... he's gonna eat it.

Love the man to death, but if you hand him an orange before you fully preface that it's yours and you just want it peeled, it's gone. He probably didn't even peel it before he ate it too. Probably just eats it like an apple.

But, but, but, he'll get you a new one. So please don't look so sad...

It might be best if you accompany him just in case, but he'll absolutely get you another one. Besides, he wants more himself now, that first one was delicious.

He'll gather a whole basket of oranges and you can share them together.

One slice for you...five for him. Another slice for you...

It make take a minute to get a full orange's worth, but it's about the attempt and the time spent. And he's technically actually peeling SO many oranges for you.

I'd also like to point out that I have actually written out a scene in one of my stories where Beel actually EXACTLY peels an orange FOR MC. WAY before this trend was a thing.

--Eventually he came across an orange, peeling off the wax shell meant to serve as extra preservation. Citrus flooded your nose. Your mouth actually watered at the scent, watching Beel strip the fruit before peeling it apart. A sniff, and then it was actually handed to you.

So he would! 100 times over! Even in my silly little side story where everyone is nearly on the brink of death and in a freezing wasteland, he would still peel an orange for you!

10/10 Minus one point for eating your orange first, plus one point for peeling you an orange in another universe.

Belphie

Y...yeah, no. No, he won't.

Or there's at least a very slim chance he will. He does get in weird moods sometimes where he wants to pamper you, but that's on his own terms and his own time.

He doesn't even peel his own oranges, as I previously stated in Lucifer's section.

If you just waltz up to him and ask him to peel it for you...there's a 95% chance he will not. Most of it being due to him being asleep. You would probably have a better chance trying to train him to peel an orange while sleepwalking. That might work. Would also probably make a good party trick.

But, he's weird at remembering details like this. Even if he doesn't act on it right now, it will be logged in his memory. You could mention something briefly once seven months ago and he'll bring it up to you and remember the conversation completely like it happened yesterday.

So, even if he doesn't peel the orange now, when he's in the mood, maybe after his nap, maybe the next day, maybe two weeks after in which you had forgotten it, he will bring you a peeled orange.

Either that or he'll do what Asmo does and make someone else peel it for you.

3/10

Diavolo

You want him to peel your orange for you? You mean... he gets to treat someone like that for once?! ABSOLUTELY.

He is all too happy to peel you an orange! This is like, groundbreaking for him. He gets to provide! Gets to hand you a tiny fruit, broken and prepared with his own two hands! Is this how Barbatos feels when he cooks?

How does one exactly peel an orange, though?... He's seen them whole like this before, but they're typically already in strips when he gets around to eating them.

Break the skin? What, like an egg?

Well...there goes your orange.

On the bright side, it seems he's very good at making orange juice.

But fear not! He'll have Barbatos bring another one!

Wait...look, see, they come pre-peeled. Oh...you mean Barbatos has been peeling all his fruits for him this entire time? He's never known the joyful luxury of unveiling and working for the literal fruits of his labor?! This will change today.

Get another orange, unpeeled, and he will do it himself this time!

It might take some personal discovery and some patience before he peels you an orange, but it will get done, he swears it!

11/10 Plus one point for wholesome life lessons and sheer determination.

Barbatos

An orange? Just a plain orange? If you wait just a moment, he could have an orange chiffon cake, or would you perhaps prefer some orange panna cotta? Orange Merengue pie? Pound cake? Made into a buttercream? A pudding? A sorbet? A sherbet? Served as a juice? Main flavor or just as a zest? Would you like a meal before dessert? Or he could always find healthier options for oranges? Would you like him to list of those options as well?

Okay, so... he overcorrects a little bit.

Bottom line is, he'd peel you an orange. He'd make an entire seven course meal based around oranges. Make it all the color orange if you'd prefer.

Like I said though, he tends to overdo it.

He falls into his royal butlery habits and misses the fact that this is supposed to be so important to you because it's so simple. Although it's cute the way an ever powerful ever perfect being can miss such a detail.

You might have to put your foot down a bit and not let yourself get carried away in the splendor. You just want this orange. This one orange, and if he could just peel it for you, that's all you want.

So he'll take his gloves off and peel it for you. He'll make sure all the extra little white strands are plucked off as well. And he double checks it for seeds.

Are you sure this is all you want? "I guess something so simple can often be taken for granted. I forget that sometimes."

12/10 He'll probably still end up making you several other orange treats and he learned a valuable lesson today. It's a win for everyone.

Simeon

Are you kidding me?

This man probably brought the orange with him. You probably didn't even need to bring it up! He's single dad with two one kid and a sorcerer. He's like that sweet mom who always has certain things on hand. Medicine? Bandages? Spare cash? Candy? Gum? He's got it. He puts the Guardian in guardian angel.

You want that orange? He'll peel that orange, you just hold on. Let's make sure your hands are clean. Use this hand sanitizer he brought with him. Here, have a granola bar while you're at it. Are you hungry? You didn't skip lunch, did you? Here, take this water bottle, you look a bit dehydrated.

Oh dear, and your hands feel so dry! Here, he brought some lotion.

This angel is 100% fully here for you. You are about to be so taken care of.

Not even oranges. You want your apples fully peeled and sliced? Got it. Want something pitted? He can do that too. He'd be willing to stain his fingers and clothes on a pomegranate for you. How is he doing this even outside of the house? Magic or something probably.

He'd pack you an orange in a cute little bag with a hand written note and a short poem.

This man is a real one.

100/10 He definitely thinks that LOL means lots of love.

Solomon

Are...you sure you know what you're doing? He will absolutely peel you an orange, but at what cost?

If you're not careful, not only will he peel you an orange, but he'll add some of his Special Solomon Spices to make your experience all the more... thrilling.

Quite like how thrilling bungee jumping in the dark could be...

Also, he might just try to peel it with magic, which, while nice of him, defeats the purpose of the entire test.

You'll have to specify he's to do it by hand, and keep an unblinking, ever-careful eye on him to make sure he doesn't 'enhance' the flavor.

But, all in all, he does it. Quite happily too, one might add.

Are you sure you just want an orange? He'd be glad to whip something up for you if you're feeling peckish!

You kind of... tempt fate with this one.