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The existence of pro-LGBTQ people implies the existence of less experienced amateur-LGBTQ people, who haven’t quite gotten the handle on things.

I play stupid games so badly I don’t even win stupid prizes.

Ain’t no rule in the book says a dog can’t play a sick guitar solo.

My mother has begun to use AI despite me subtly inserting reasons to be distrustful of it into casual conversation for almost a year. God is dead and I might join him.

“Humans are cancer” is a phrase that I’ve heard a fair bit, but I’ve always kind of rejected it. I’m pretty misanthropic, but I also recognize that humans ARE capable of good. There ARE people who will do everything in their power to make the world a better place, and there even points in history where we tangibly improved the life of the zillion tiny creatures that are stuck on this rock. But, in a way, I think that humans are comparable to cancer. Because humans are the thing we’re trying to save, but it’s also the problem we’re trying to solve. The reason that solving humanity’s problems feels so impossible is because humanity is a huge part of the problem. It’s a subset of humanity, sure, but it’s not a foreign agent. And that’s what makes it so difficult, because you can’t just kill off the problem. You need to selectively remove or reform the exact parts of humanity that are causing the problem. All the while, the metastasized people have become much more powerful, because it turns out it’s quite easy to do well when you blatantly disregard the livelihood of everyone around you. And then, of course, there’s the ever present fear that maybe, just maybe, this sort of change is inevitable. If we somehow construct a world where every human is suddenly a team player, how can we be sure that the same problem won’t develop again? I don’t have the answers. I don’t even have any ideas, but it feels like we can fix this. It feels like there’s a way for us to cure cancer.

My old man trait is chronic back pain.

Once, I was doing an icebreaker, where everyone grabbed a card that had a different question on it, and we had to tell everyone what our card said and what our answer was. Most people’s questions were basic shit like, “are you a cat or dog person?”, but MY question was, “if you could replace your legs with anything, what would you replace them with?” I have no clue how that was supposed to give people an idea of who I was.

I’m workshopping a breaking bad fanfic where Jesse tries to exterminate the rats in their RV, and Walter goes “NO”, and Jesse is like, “wtf”, and then Walter reveals that he’s actually shit at chemistry, and Remy (from ratatouille) is the one actually cooking. Then Jesse goes, “holy shit, is that Remy from ratatouille?”, and Walter is all like, “you’re goddamn right”.

@bughuntermusic should write songs that are responses to Platonic Best Friend, in case someone actually sends it. Like, there could be a “Yes” song talking about how much you like the person, and how glad you are that they like you back, and a “No” song, that lets the other person down gently. And then there could hypothetically be a song about how you think that the person is amazing, and how you’ve stayed up at nights thinking about them, but that you’re terrified that once you start dating, they’ll realize that they didn’t truly love you, and you’ll need to experience the torture that is getting everything you want, only to have it ripped away. And the song could also really stress that you’re answer is absolutely “yes”, because you think they’re perfect, but you just need them to know that if you seem hesitant, it’s not that you aren’t sure that you want to be with them, it’s that you’re not sure if you’ll be able to handle not being with them afterward. But the song shouldn’t be too overbearing. It could hypothetically be fully produced by this hypothetical possible couple’s shared class at 10:00am CST. Just spitballing here.

Sherpa by Angine de Poitrine and Not Entirely Alone by The Narcissist Cookbook are the same song, but I can’t prove it.

I am what happened to John (in Minecraft).