being blue is better than being over it.

Connor remembers his past very vividly, his memory was impeccable and it often got him into trouble - at least with friends. So he remembers his relationship with Grayson well, but he chooses to keep what he remembers to himself. He saw no point in venturing into the past, it did no one any good. But Reed was definitely an exception to that, Connor couldn’t help himself from plunging back into old memories. He figured Grayson knew that, he probably could put it down as another reason as to why he and the blonde never really worked out. But at least he had Benji now, who was honestly the better choice. “It’s….weird limbo state. I guess with me just breaking up with Konrad I’m still trying to figure out what I’m doing.”

Grayson knew it had been a long time since they had been together. It had had it’s ups and downs as any relationship, but in the end it just wasn’t meant to be. He didn’t think about it often anymore because what was the point? He had a good thing going with Benji and he knew that what had happened between him and Connor was long over. He had an inkling that a part of Connor would always be in love with Reed and there was no point in being upset about it. Grayson was happy and he just wanted Connor to be able to find that happiness too, with or without Reed. “That’s what I figured. He’s back and you’re kind of in a vulnerable position because of what happened. Just because he’s back, it doesn’t mean you have to rush into it. It may be foreign, but you can take it slow if it makes it easier. If he cares about you too, then he should be okay with it.”

“Okay that is true, I have to admit. I am just too stubborn to accept help from just anyone. And maybe a life alert necklace would be a good idea, you never know when you have to save me from trouble. I always get in trouble, I have no idea why. Oh god, I know my body way too much. Sometimes it’s a curse, really. Being healthy and staying in shape is a good thing, unless it becomes an addiction. Then it’s just sad and scary. Don’t tempt me, Grayson!” he smiled softly. “I don’t work out too much mainly because.. of something. But I do find ways to stay in shape as well” he shrugged. He had no idea how he looked whenever Sterling was around or someone brought him up in a conversation. He must look like a smitten kitten, or what people call it. “Oh he would be a fool to ever let you go!” he told him and clapped his hands together. Listening to him talk, Gabriel nodded and smiled. He agreed with him, it was true. “He is my soulmate. I could just feel how our souls connected and it was beautiful” he mused and a soft sigh left him. “I don’t really think too much about my height. I am sometimes tall and sometimes tiny, that’s just something I have to accept. Being tiny compared to Sterling is actually nice, it’s romantic and I love it. But tilting my head always makes my neck hurt. I mostly just pass out after work so I sometimes wake up to the smell of Sterling cooking, it’s cute! Oh I will make sure you two get all the desserts! Even if I get used to his place, I don’t want to like move out from my place. I wanna keep it, as my own little safe place if I need to be alone or something like that. It sounds cozy, to live with someone and be all domestic and cute. Oh I will never hush! You are the one who has to hush”

“We’d get you one that is stylish, nice chain, embroidered the actual button and if you wanted you could just hide it under your shirt. Have it programmed to send an alert to Sterling or whoever you want whenever you fall or get in trouble. I don’t think I’m addicted to working out, it’s just a part of my routine and I don’t eat healthy all the time, sometimes it’s easier after a long day to just order a pizza or takeout. I only wear certain colors, so this so-called friendship bracelet better be perfect or I won’t wear it Gabe.” He shook his head but grinned. “As long as you’re healthy you don’t have to go to extremes, lifting weights and all that is a bit extra honestly.” Grayson had a feeling that Benji would never let him go, especially of how possessive he could be and he’d work his hardest to keep their relationship. “And I’d be sad if he did, but I have a good feeling that he won’t. There’s too much between us for that to happen.” Grayson nodded, crossing his arms over his chest to be comfortable. “People would say that sounds pretty cheesy, but they just don’t understand what it’s like to be so happy in a relationship. It’s not perfect, but it’s damn near close.” Grayson would always be reminded that even though he wasn’t short he’d always be shorter than his boyfriend. “But when I look at Benji, well I can’t imagine him shorter, I just don’t think it would fit him. I’m okay with my height, for the most part. Make him come down to your level so you don’t have to tilt your head so much. I fell asleep once while Benji went out to get takeout, woke up with him smiling down at me and our two cats curled up on me. Probably just a few desserts during a visit, or else Benji might have to carry me out. You can partially live with him then? Keep your place but also live at his place? I’m sure he’d let you have a drawer or two of your stuff at his. Nah, I can’t be stopped, I’ll still talk.”

Brook didn’t have trouble picking up guys, he just assumed a hot guy like Grayson would have equally hot friends.  “I’m sure I’ll find someone to have fun with,” Brook said confidently.  When he set his mind to it, he rarely struck out.  “Well if this tall, dark-haired man of yours is ever out of the picture, I’ll be there to rock your world,” Brook promised, though he had no intention of making Grayson into a cheater.  That was a line Brook would never cross.  And besides, listening to Grayson’s story made him think of an epic love story, like something out of a movie, and why would he want to ruin that.  “It sounds like it was meant to be,” Brook said, smiling.

If he weren’t in a committed relationship with a man he eternally loved, Grayson might have seen where this night could have went with Brook. But as Benji had come back into his life, well no one else mattered as much as the man he was in love with. “I’d wish you luck, but I don’t think you’ll need it.” He shook his head but chuckled, “I sure hope he’s never out of the picture but yeah I’ll remember.” Grayson was glad that Brook didn’t seem to wish to push it since he knew that the blond was in a relationship, he knew some people would see someone in a relationship as a challenge, but Brook seemed opposite of that. “Heh, maybe. I’m just happy that it happened.”

“Maybe,” Brook replied.  “Do you happen to know any of these men specifically?  Because if so, please do point me in the right direction.”  Nodding, Brook looked down and shook his head, as if to shake the thoughts away.  “There is,” he confirmed, but Brook left it at that.  There was no way he was talking about any of that now.  Hearing Grayson talk about his boyfriend was nice in the sense that it was a reminder that maybe love really was real, and Brook laughed at Grayson’s comment about their similarities in appearance.  “So clearly you have a type, and I’m it,” Brook said, grinning; he was also a tall, dark-haired man.  “Years you were apart?” Brook asked.  “Where’d he go?  Or was it you who were gone?”

“I don’t have any specific names or guys in mind unfortunately but the bars are always the best place to start, or near the main area of where Pride is situated.” Grayson shrugged in response, “I’m sure even though it won’t be with me, you won’t go home alone tonight.” He nodded, he wasn’t going to push Brook since they had just met about whatever it was that happened with the man that had obviously hurt him deep enough. He understood that he was burying it down, pretending it didn’t hurt as much as it did and distract himself and he didn’t want to make the other man sad about it. Grayson chuckled, “Well, I guess I definitely have a type when it comes to men. But one tall and dark-haired man has already swept me off my feet.” He brought a hand up to scratch at his stubble, “Yeah, it was several years. After high school. He lost someone close to him, and he just needed time to deal with it and everything. He eventually went away for college and came back to finish here. And we kind of stumbled back to each other.”

“But what if I don’t want to fall around people? It’s so embarrassing! I am extremely clumsy. Do you think I am being over dramatic when I tell you that? You seem to work out a lot, so feel lucky that your balance is good. Awh, we are close friends! That is adorable, my first bestie in this town. You do have really nice looking arms!” he giggled and tilted his head to the side. It was sweet, to see someone so in love. It made him wonder, did he look like that? With a huge smile on his lips? With eyes filled with love? “Wow that is like really romantic! And of course you two are soulmates, silly! I believe that me and Sterling are soulmates. People may think that I am crazy but I’m just honest” he shrugged. “And being short is not that bad” he added. Looking down for a moment and then looking up at Grayson again, he smiled. “It feels weird, being short around someone. But I actually love that as well? It makes me feel safe. Oh god, he cooks all the time for me. It’s so cute. And if you do bring Benji to Desco, just tell them that you are my close friend. I am not used to big places, personally. I just love tiny houses, apartments and stuff. And awh, shush!”

“It might be embarrassing, but if you get seriously injured as a result of it, then at least someone would be around to help you or get you help. Don’t make me get you one of those life alerts necklaces that old people use. I don’t think you’re being overdramatic about it, you know how your body and balance is. I work out most days, save for a day or two for relaxing. I just like staying in shape and being healthy. Bestie huh? Don’t tell me you’re gonna show up next time with friendship bracelets?” He teased with a grin. “I work hard on my arms, and chest... and abs. I just work hard on my body.” Sometimes he couldn’t believe how smitten he was, he knew he must have looked like a lovestruck fool sometimes when he thought or saw Benji but he couldn’t help himself. “Hopefully Benji will want to keep me around, forever maybe.” He shrugged, “I mean people can’t understand unless they’re part of your relationship, it’s a feeling inside you and if you believe you’re soulmates even when you’re relationship is still new then it’s still true.” Grayson crossed his arms and sighed, “For the most part, I’m taller than most people but apparently not my boyfriend. I’ve accepted a life where my boyfriend is always going to end up reaching to the top shelf for things for me and I’ll always have to tilt my head up to look at him. Benji and I alternate cooking, though if I’m tired from work we sometimes just get takeout. Benefits huh? Maybe I’ll get a discount or a free dessert as a result? I’m sure you’ll get used to his place and it will start to feel homey to you. It didn’t take long for Benji’s apartment to feel that way for me. I barely went to my own except for clothes or whatever but now I live with him. I will not hush, you do.”

Again Brook sighed dramatically, though he was grinning at Grayson.  “Sucks for me then,” he said.  “I was wasting my time with a guy who was just using me,” Brook went on.  “I have no problem with sex just being sex, but when someone has ulterior motives, that’s when I get upset.”  But he wasn’t going to talk about Ian or how he destroyed him.  Listening to Grayson talk, Brook was struck by how similar it was to how he’d felt about Ian.  While he missed that feeling, it had proven to be a lie, and he wouldn’t allow himself to feel that way again.  Hopefully Grayson wouldn’t regret it one day like Brook did.  It was nice to hear how much he cared about his boyfriend, though he was a bit disappointed that that prospect of a threesome was off the table.  “It’s alright,” he told Grayson, “I was mostly just kidding, though I wouldn’t say no, especially if your man’s as hot as you are.”  Even though he had no chance here, what was the harm in some innocent flirting?

Hearing him sigh again once more, Grayson chuckled at him. “Yeah, but there are plenty of other hot guys around that I’m sure are your type and would be more than willing to give you what you want.” He listened as he spoke, clearly there was something more to what he was saying even if he didn’t make it seem like it was such a big deal. “Sounds pretty heavy. Like there’s more to it, but it’s not my business.” He wasn’t sure what Brook could be talking about, or what had happened with him but it wasn’t his business to know if he didn’t want to elaborate more. He was glad Benji was different, that while what they had started with a lingering crush and sexual encounter had turned into more. He knew Benji would never hurt him, never on purpose and he had faith in their relationship. It was something he hopped would last, well forever if possible. He smiled when he pictured Benji in his mind, “It’s probably not helping to say that he is, my boyfriend is tall like you, dark haired as well, he was always good looking but he became even hotter in the years we were apart.”

Brook was enjoying talking to Grayson, but of course one of his main intentions was to see if he could get the man naked; he was nice to look at with clothes on, so Brook could only imagine the sight once those were gone.  But then he said he was waiting for his boyfriend, and Brook sighed dramatically, saying, “And here I was hoping you were single.  Your boyfriend is a lucky man…I don’t suppose you two would ever consider a threeway.”  Brook was just kidding - unless Grayson agreed, in which case he’d be totally down for it - so he laughed, not really expecting anything.

Grayson was a little amused as the taller man, seriously why was it always taller men that were attracted to him, sighed very dramatically. He had an inkling the guy had been interested in him but Grayson was taken and happily so by his boyfriend that he had known since childhood, that wasn’t something he intended on giving up for anyone. “I was single a few months ago, so you’re a little late.” He shrugged, “And yet I feel like I’m the lucky one in my relationship.” He chuckled lightly, shaking his head, “While I’m flattered and appreciate the offer, I don’t think a threeway is in the cards.” Grayson already knew how possessive his boyfriend was in bed and he highly doubted that Benji would want to share him with anyone, his boyfriend just got so singularly focused on him.