public notepad

I don’t know how people can be poly/have multiple people interested in them because I don’t think I’ve actually ever had someone be romantically interested in me as an adult I will not lie

while not romantic. flashbacks to being groomed online at 15-17 via homestuck roleplay

but yeah every night i completely relive all of my worst fears about my self worth emotionally

so about this. now its happening in the morning too

kind of want to perform increasingly elaborate forms of self harm

not that I actually want to do this by the way but I do feel the urge. you could sabotage all of your relationships by dropping off of the face of the earth. it wouldn’t be good for you or prove anything that’s good for you but you could do it

i'm very clearly having some kind of depressive episode because every single night i crash emotionally + i dont see the point in doing anything but like. idfk

not going to cancel all of my plans to sit at home and do nothing #manifest

i do really feel like a spectator for other people though

i can imagine living though