typology theory

Hi all! I wanted to talk about a topic I've been looking into lately. This revolves around the myth of Psyche and her trials by the Goddess of love and beauty: Aphrodite, and how this closely resembles an INFJ's potential growth cycle.

I have been reading Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis, a more contemporary spin on the classic tale of Psyche's endeavors. Here, I am speaking from the classical myth which Lewis' novel is based on.

Psyche is a beautiful princess that is envied by others for her purity. She is seen as sweet beyond this world's cruelty, and equally as intelligent. She is revered as a Goddess for her beauty, but this doesn't bring her any joy, she is essentially still 'unseen'. (In Lewis' story, she is believed to have cured the sick, and the people of the city begin to worship her). Upon learning of this, the Goddess of love and desire is enraged that a mere mortal be worshiped under her house. She first sends her son Eros to punish her, but he falls in love with her, and then vanishes when she looks at him and accidentally spills hot oil on him. Later, Aphrodite condemns Psyche to excruciating tasks that a mortal should not be able to complete.

First, Aphrodite gives Psyche a heap of legumes, grains, and seeds, and tells her she must organize every single tiny seed into individual piles by nightfall. She only succeeds through the help of several ants, and she is able to complete her task.

This what I believe is an INFJ's growth in discernment, especially on an intellectual basis. We first need to understand the world, the intricacies, what belongs, what doesn't, where what goes... etc. The ants represent the more simple subconscious cognition of the world, where some things will simply fall into place without our direct intervention. This is our ti and our se at work, putting information into a tangible and reliable structure.

Aphrodite's second impossible trial is to gather golden wool from dangerous rams. Here, she learns to not tackle the task head-on, but uses her discernment to gather wool from trees, branches, and reeds- planning ahead by moving around the dangerous beasts, instead of engaging with potential violence.

This can be seen as an INFJ's Fe surfacing, where she uses her previously learned discernment and is able to plan accordingly. This is an INFJ knowing how to maneuver reactive people, to not fight them straight on, to protect oneself and go in and finish the task. Both parties, Psyche and the Rams, are untouched and left alone. This is non-obtrusive Fe. It is self-compassion against cruel people who cannot help but hurt others.

Aphrodite's third impossible task is to gather water from a deadly river that is connected to the underworld's most iconic river, the Styx. Aphrodite gives her a vessel for the water which she must gather from the terrifying source up high on a treacherous mountain. What seems impossible to reach and guarded by dangers, is conquered with the help of Zeus' eagle, who takes the vessel and fills it for her.

This is an INFJ's growth towards knowing how to receive help. This asks us to use the entirety of our stack- our discernment, our social awareness, environmental sensing and longterm vision and planning. Even with all of these tools, the task is far too dangerous. It is self-compassion and gracious to herself to simply receive or ask for help from a higher power, which is happy to help her.

Aphrodite's final deadly task for Psyche is to venture into the underworld itself to retrieve a box of Persephone's divine beauty. Unable to get to the underworld, she believes she must first perish, and climbs a tower intending to jump off it. The Tower speaks, and advises her what she must do to enter the underworld. It instructs Psyche to simply go in and complete her task- to not talk to the pleading dead, to not help them, not to consume anything, stop, sit, or slow down... but to get in and get out. And more than anything, the Tower tells Psyche to not open the box.

She finishes her task and eventually escapes the underworld, showing how much she was grown. She has gained discernment, social awareness, strategy, boundaries, and the ability to receive help, but she is still compelled to be "better". So she opens the box, but seeing what was inside puts her into a deathlike sleep.

This is what I believe is an INFJ's dormant phase. When we do everything right, learn boundaries, learn how to receive and ask for help- yet there is still an underlying urge to improve oneself. It's the idea that in order to be accepted and loved, INFJs are still compelled to improve themselves. This is despairing for INFJs, because we intrinsically know the power we truly have, but we can't simply bend our personality inwards for our own personal gains.

This is due to (usually) our shadow Fi- where we are unable to be in direct contact with our introverted feeling in the way Fi-doms and Fi-auxes are. The deathlike sleep is a terrible, radical acceptance that even when we know and do everything right, that same compassion is not easily turned back on ourselves. The question moreso becomes, how can an INFJ become loved if they do not allow that same love for themself?

In the myth of Psyche, it is Aphrodite's son Eros who saves her. He is somewhat of an immature character at first, and defiant to his mother Aphrodite. Something in him finally breaks, and he goes to Psyche and wakes her. He brings Psyche to Zeus and pleads for her to be forgiven, and for them to be married. Zeus complies, and Psyche is made immortal.

Psyche and Eros are openly married, and later she gives birth to their daughter: Hedone, who is the incarnation of Pleasure and Joy.

I adore this myth because it closely relates to the growth structure of an INFJ. Through perilous tasks given to us by beauty, desire, and more broadly, a soul that is made of love, we endeavor to do what our personality seems to go against. They first seem impossibly difficult for any individual to work through, but I'd argue these are some of INFJ's most important tasks. We have to learn how to live in harmony with our stacking, the world, and our inner love and truest desires. Even through all of that, our inherently romantic nature still pines for something more, and the question falls back on itself: become stronger, better, more beautiful, so no one can deny you. However, this is the classical trap of our MBTI type.

So, something I realized today. Fi and Type 4 already resemble each other in obvious ways- both revolve around inner truth, identity, and the pain of being unseen or misunderstood. But for INFJs, Fi is not the primary function. In Beebe's model, it's described as the “critical parent”, which makes the whole situation confusing and convoluted.

An INFJ may grow up overly responsible and even wise- but if they are also a 4, their core is still concentrated around longing and a profound sense of lack. The problem is that INFJs don't have access to Fi in the same direct way that Fi-dominant or Fi-auxes do. For us, Fi can feel elusive. It only really surfaces in moments of injustice, profound inspiration, revelation, etc.

This is why I think INFJ 4s are almost forced to integrate towards 1. The experience of being a 4 without seamless access to Fi is extremely painful. There has to be a stabilizing structure. There has to be discipline, because otherwise the weight of our inner world becomes catastrophically heavy.

This makes the personality inherently difficult to navigate. The Enneagram core and our MBTI function stack feel like they're pulling in opposite directions. Type 4 wants inner truth, while the INFJ stack filters that truth through Ni, Fe, Ti, and Se- through pattern, relational awareness, analysis, and embodiment. So, an INFJ 4 may not look “authentic” in the obvious Fi way.