Omg, the Patrick/Elisa anon here again! I loveee what you said about how both Patrick and Pete want to do the 'right thing' because their self-perception is fucked but in different ways ughhh there's so much to say!
First of all, what you said about Patrick being neurodivergent and because of that having a weird sense of self is something I relate to as well. I think it's interesting he wants to be 'normal' so badly when... objectively he isn't 'Normal' in the classical sense in that...Uh. He's a musical genius and insanely creative. The way he arranges and composes music is so unique and special and he's genuinely NOT just 'some guy' (no matter how hard he tries to be).
IDK... I think. Hm. Both the neurodivergent thing you mentioned where he wants to be 'normal', the fact he can't apply queerness to himself because of how he grew up and the fact that he tries to play things safe and also just somehow went with the flow and married the girl he was dating at the time he happened to be of the age people expect you to get married is....ALSO I HAVE READ YOUR FIC SUDDEN DESIRE :D I loved it!
Whereas, Pete is fucking. Whoa. Like he's somehow simultaneously incredibly aware of the fact he's queer while also being afraid of what that means? Like I feel like with Pete there WAS a time during 2004/2005/very early 2006 where Pete was super aware of the fact he somehow became this queer icon and played into it which in itself is like. Okay there's definitely SOMETHING going on here lmao but like you mentioned before in 2007 when the Pete/Ashlee PR stunt started happening he seemed to shy away from that more and it coincided with him experimenting less with his style which is VERY INTERESTING!! Because Pete always expresses himself through his fashion sense. His much more tame outfits compared to 2004/2005 is notable, I think. Like in 2004/2005 he was experimenting more like he dyed his hair all the time and was into super weird clothes (v-neck crop top anyone?) vs I saw an interview of Pete in 2007 recently where he's wearing....a blank grey hoodie? Just like. Plain. That is SO not him. Even if you see pictures of him as a teenager or young adult he's ALWAYS experimenting with his style like through piercings or tattoos or during that Arma show where he's got the nail polish. AND! AND! 2007 is when he kind of chilled with the eyeliner too and the nail polish. THINGS TO THINK ABOUT I THINK. Like hmm interesting Pete decides to start dressing 'normally' when he's doing the PR stunt with Ashlee.....
ahhh yay anon hello again!!
re: the neurodivergent struggle - i can relate as well, and another thing to remember is that he was diagnosed later in life. as someone who was also diagnosed later in her 30s, i'll say that it can REALLY fuck with you.
it had me question SO much - who i could've been, what i could've done had my brain been firing better; moments i missed out on because of the overstimulation or depression that had worn me down; the goals i had set and discarded because i could never stay on one page long enough; the list could go on and on. it's a weird, internal sort of grief.
i can't quite remember when patrick first began talking about it, but i think it was stardust era that he really "embraced" the adhd-ness. i remember an article where he mentioned something about it and how getting diagnosed and medicated was life changing. i genuinely wouldn't be surprised if, between that and covid happening, he had a full-on existential crisis that we are now seeing the other side of.
patrick is not so much the "soft boy" he's often portrayed to be. he's calmed down a lot, but he's still feisty as fuck. no surprise to me that he would go scorched earth on the life that he was miserable in, built on the back of mental illness and the complacency it brings.
i dunno. maybe that all sounds overly dramatic,but...the signs are there....
with pete, you are so right about how he became more subdued. while i do think his relationship with ashlee influenced that (especially to tone down any potential queer undertones), i think there was another reason, too.
when the media latches on, it's easy for a real-life person to be flanderized. this 100% happened with pete. EVERY interview asked about the eyeliner, the clothes, the external "emo boy" package of it all. he was the emo boy poster child. i recall him doing an interview where he essentially states that he stopped doing the eyeliner because he didn't want to be a caricature. (can someone back me up on this? cannot find it for the life of me (<-many such instances))
so, to no surprise, pete's situation was quite complicated and had a lot of layers to it. he felt it necessary to personally martyr himself and what made him him for the band and, in that effort, ended up maiming the thing he fought so hard to protect. sigh. they can never make me hate you, late-00s pete wentz.
i think that's all i have on that for now! feel free to send more thoughts my way! <3
