Discovering myself, for myself.

Be still

Psst. It’s time to turn off your mind. Whatever you think you need to finish, don’t. Whoever you think you need to give attention to, don’t. None of those things are important right now.

Come over here and lay your head into my lap. Close your eyes and listen to the sound of my slow and steady breath. Feel the touch of my hand across your skin, the movement of my fingers through your hair. Focus on me, forget about everything else.

Push any thoughts right out of your head. Don’t let them intrude. At this very moment the only thing that matters is your mind at peace. I realize achieving that for you is often not an easy task, but I will make it happen, even if I have to sit here with you in my lap until the sun’s first rays of a new day begin illuminating our room.

Put your head into my hands and with it all of your problems, concerns and insecurities. I’ll shelter you from them and I will fight anything or anyone who mean you harm. Now close your eyes, baby. You have nothing to think or worry about. I’m here!

damn baby, fuck anyone that thinks that theres something wrong with thickness. It’s such a fucking blessing to be able to grasp and hold all that ass. I hate being asked this, as if it’d be some imposition for me to be into someone like that. I also love the opportunity to denounce any and all worry about your self worth. I mean I love when a girl gives me that power over her, to give her worth and esteem her every now and then, but thats totally in her power to give me that satisfaction. I mean on a micro level most friendships do in fact work this way, maybe not on the extreme level that I’m talking about. 

But we really do give people authority over our self-worth, I mean its possible to not lend it to anyone which is fine (I pretty much only care about what my family and close friends think of me, a very small small circle. and even then I run it by my head again, to see if I want to accept their impressions of me), but if you like someone, or even love someone, then you can accept or not accept whatever they feel about you. I know I’d give a lover, full permission to believe whatever she wants about me, because I guess I believe in myself enough, and honestly its refreshing to see what you look like through someone else’s lens. 

Back to my point, what I’m trying to say is, that you get to decide who gets to “judge” you. It’s something that you should hold as empowering, that you can choose to care about someones opinion, not just about yourself, but about everything. I’m worried I’m not making sense. But now we’re talking about infatuation in general. 

Fuck, this shouldn’t have to be such a long answer. No one should have to worry about this type of thing.