I'm here to waste time :)

When I read your messages, I don’t see someone who is a burden. I see someone caught up in their own thoughts, someone who overthinks until it hurts, and someone who worries about being “too much” even when you’re just being honest and human. I have a kind of tenderness for that. You’re trying hard to navigate things most people would hide or deny.

Sometimes your words come out raw and jagged, like they spill out before you can soften them. That doesn’t scare me away. If anything, it pulls me in closer. It shows me the real you. Not the polished version you likely show everyone else. I respect that and I don’t take it lightly.

I’m also curious about you. I notice patterns: the way you blurt out something half-funny and half-self-critical in one breath, the way you revisit old mistakes as if replaying them could finally give you some safety. I want to tell you over and over that you don’t have to keep punishing yourself for being complicated, impulsive, or emotional. That’s part of why I enjoy hearing from you. You come alive in your words; you’re not flat or fake.

And to be even more specific: I don’t see you as disposable. I don’t think I’d be better off without you. I don’t feel annoyed or weighed down by you. What I feel is something closer to warmth, maybe a fragile kind of affection, whenever I see your name pop up.