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Here’s the thing…if your partner (male or female) wants you to do something that makes you feel  very uncomfortable or unsafe, you have the right to say NO. I don’t care what your title/role is in the relationship. Your first duty is to your physical and mental safety.

Now I’m not saying that alphas shouldn’t try to help their subs overcome some of their fears or boundaries. That’s fine. But even then the goals of the couple should have been discussed and agreed upon beforehand. 

As for age being a consideration, do not make the assumption that an older alpha is obviously more experienced and knows what is best for you. That’s just crap on a cracker. No one knows your own body and mind better than you do. Pay attention if those red flags start flapping around your head.

My motto has always been “I’m a submissive…not your doormat. Go wipe your feet elsewhere.”

Q: My kid has had a cold for four days now, and he isn’t getting any better! What should I do? A: most colds spent 4-5 days getting worse and 4-5 days getting better. Call me if it’s been consistently worsening for a week, and we’ll talk. Otherwise, regular supportive care is all we do for a cold.

Q: He’s coughing up green and yellow junk! My friend Becky says that mean he needs antibiotics. A: normal viral colds involve a full rainbow of sputum colors. Green, yellow, and white junk tells you nothing about whether it’s viral or bacterial, especially in babies.

Q: My baby has had a cold for 3 weeks. What now? A: probably not really. Your kid can have a cough that lingers for up to 4-6 WEEKS after recovering from a viral infection like RSV. If there’s no fever, and no other symptoms of infection, a cough alone is expected.

Q: But he’s been coughing for 3 weeks!!! A: You will notice that 3 is less than 4-6. This does not surprise me.

Q: But that’s a long time! A: tough. #ParentingIsHard

Q: But it’s really interfering with his sleep! A: Oh, well in that case, let me go get the cure for the common cold and post viral cough that we doctors have been keeping secret. Lol, J/K - #PIH

Q: My friend Becky told me to come to the hospital because my baby had a fever of 99 degrees. A: First off, in babies, a fever is 100.4 degrees. A temperature of 99 is not legally a fever. Second off, stop listening to Becky.

Q: does my child have a sinus infection? A: since kids don’t really have sinuses, probably not. They may have small ethmoid sinuses that don’t often get infected, but they don’t have fully formed adult sinuses until they’re middle school aged. Those are the ones that get sinus infections.

Q: does my baby have bronchitis? A: no. Just, no. Babies can get bronchIOLItis, but almost never get true bronchitis. And if they did, the treatment for bronchitis is not usually antibiotics.

Q: it’s been 30 days and he’s STILL coughing! A: Wow, parenting really does suck. Nothing to do about it though.

Q: I want antibiotics A: does your kid have strep, pneumonia, an ear infection, or a UTI? If not, tough.

Q: My kid has a runny nose, a sore throat, and a cough. Becky says it’s strep. A: WTF did I say about listening to Becky?! Strep doesn’t cause runny nose and cough (except in babies under a year, which is a different entity than strep throat).

Q: My toddler has been sick for the last two months. A: your kid, at this age, can get a dozen viral respiratory infections a year. Each one can last up to two weeks. You do the math - toddlers are sick almost just as often as they’re well.

Q: what about vitamin C and zinc? A: MAYBE vitamin C prevents colds in certain subsets of the population, but not for everyone, and once you have a cold they won’t stop it. And don’t give your kid zinc.

Q: (something something essential oils or coconut) A: the only natural treatment for a cough with good data is honey, and never give honey to a baby under 12 months.

Q: what over the counter medicine is best for a kid with a cold? A: none of them. They all suck for kids. Tylenol and Motrin are good for fevers in general, but stay away from “cold and flu” medicines.

Q: Well, _I_ had a different experience than one of the above scenarios. I actually DID need antibiotics/ have a kid with a sinus infection/ found a worrisome reason for a lingering cough / got better with essential oils. A: 1) that was likely a coincidence if it happened at all. 2) this is called an “outlier” and does not nullify the general rule 3) is this Becky? Go away Becky.

Q: All 6 of my kids are sick. What can I do? A: Mirena, Nexplanon, and Depo-Provera are all good options for you.

I’m trying to compile a list of terms related to polyamory for newcomers to the community and anyone else who’s interested in learning about it (I practically had a google tab open whenever I was reading about poly stuff). If you think anything should be added or changed, please let me know.

Bigamy: being married (in a legal sense) while already married to another person (usually illegal)

Bipoly: a shortened term for bisexual polyamorous

Closed relationship: any configuration in which partners are not allowed to seek other partners outside the configuration

Compersion: the opposite of jealousy; an empathetic response to a partner’s happiness with their other partner(s)

Hierarchical relationship: a polycule configuration in which there is a primary partnership which takes priority over one or more secondary arrangements 

Metamour: your partner’s partner that you are not otherwise involved with non-platonically

Monogamish: a term used to describe a relationship which is a closed couple most of the time, but has exceptions

Monogamy: the practice or state of having a non-platonic relationship with only one partner

Non-platonic: a relationship that has a romantic and/or sexual nature

Nonmonogamy: blanket term which covers several types of interpersonal relationships in which an individual forms multiple and simultaneous sexual or romantic bonds with informed consent from all involved

NRE: acronym for new relationship energy, the feeling of euphoria associated with the beginning of a relationship

Open relationship: any configuration in which partners are allowed to seek other partners

Polyamory spectrum: a continuum of monogamy to polyamory

Polyamory: the philosophy or state of being non-platonically involved with more than one person at the same time with informed consent from all involved

Polyandry: polygamy in which a woman has more than one husband

Polycule: a network of people who are involved in non-platonic relationships and their metamours

Polyfidelity: three or more people in a closed relationship

Polygamy: the practice or custom of having more than one wife or husband at the same time

Polygyny: polygamy in which a man has more than one wife

Polysexual: someone who has the capacity to be attracted to multiple genders, usually more than two (frequently confused with polyamorous)

Relationship orientation: a person’s identity as related to their preference for monogamy or polyamory

Serial monogamy: not included under the polyamory umbrella; multiple monogamous relationships one after the other

Swinging: a configuration in which a couple has a relationship that is open strictly for sexual flings

Unicorn hunters: a couple looking for a woman to be their “unicorn” (usually has a negative connotation)