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Releasing soon!!

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“4”

At four years old, I had a fear,

A nagging voice that no one could hear.

I'd count and touch and tap each thing,

And always felt the need to bring

My toys in order, in a line,

Or else, the world just wasn't fine.

At four years old, I couldn't explain,

The constant chaos in my brain.

But then came the thoughts that plagued my mind,

The need to check, to count, to find

The fear that gripped me every day,

The urge to make it all okay.

I couldn't explain the things I felt,

My mind was trapped within a spell,

A cycle I couldn't escape,

A burden I had to carry and take.

My family couldn't understand

The reasons why I'd wash my hands

So many times until they bled,

Or why I'd count the books I read.

They thought it was just a phase,

That I would outgrow my obsessive ways,

But the thoughts only grew stronger each day,

And the rituals consumed me in every way.

I felt so lost and all alone,

Trapped in a world I couldn't own,

But I learned to fight and face my fears,

To challenge the thoughts that brought me tears.

And now I stand, years later on,

Still fighting the battles that aren't gone,

But with each passing day, I grow stronger,

And I know that I will last longer.

For I am more than just my OCD,

I am a person with a heart that beats,

And though my struggles may never end,

I know that I am more than just my mental bend.

So if you're like me and fight this fight,

Know that you are not alone in the night,

And though it may be hard to see,