Captured by Grace ♥

This 2018, I started the year by claiming that I'll enjoy the waiting season without my emotions getting involved with the dirty work of trying to manipulate circumstances, of trying to assume things and of investing them to anybody else. Guess what? Just the first month of the year? I failed. The second month? I failed again. The third month? Never mind. How do we really remain pure in the midst of all those butterflies that these people are growing inside our stomachs? No. I'm not blaming any of them. I know I am fully responsible to guard my heart and my thoughts. So I'll own my mistake. And start restarting. During this Pinto Art Museum trip with my ate in church, we decided to chill in Cafe Rizal. This is where I slowly aired out everything that has been bothering me lately. But prior to this, I asked her the night before 'How do you know you're ready?' I noted her answer in my mind as she answered me "Basta open na ako, alam ko lang na open na ako." Well, I realized one thing. Oh a lot of things, actually. Number 1. It's between you and God. There's no checklist of preparedness or readiness when it comes to dating. You'll know if God's allowing you to do so if you have established a deep relationship with God in the first place that will allow you to be sensitive enough to know His will. God, I know we've fought a lot of battles together. I've known so many things about what you wanted me to do through Your word and through the workings of the Holy Spirit. I'm not saying I have a perfect relationship with you yet. But I am more than blessed to be in that degree of relationship with You that I can hear you saying "No, not yet. Wait, my princess."

Two. Wait. Is there someone? That, I'm not even sure yet. You see? This is where the huge part of the problem lies. I'm going ahead. What I've learned from our heart talks? Enjoy friendly relationships with these guys. And when we say friendly - it is friendly!!!!!! Direct your emotions right! If it's friendly, then it's friendly. And oh boy, your thoughts? Yup! Those are your mortal enemies! So guard them well too. Establish the facts straight in your mind that a friend is a friend so there's no envisioning of the future with him yet. No thinking about him day and night. No sharing of special moments with you two alone together. No galawan. No pet names. No unnecessary actions, emotions and thoughts.

Three. What are those that you want to do? No. This ain't a checklist saying that I can't date until all these are accomplished. Who knows? I might do some of those with that someone someday. This is my personal preference that I'd like to keep for my online diary's sake.

- [ ] Serve God wholeheartedly (without divided attention) now. - [ ] Travel alone. - [ ] Travel abroad alone. (Since I always travel alone often actually hahaha) - [ ] Go to at least 5 nations. - [ ] Do ten days missions trip - [ ] Become a clinical psychologist - [ ] Learn how to drive - [ ] Learn how to cook - [ ] Learn how to do household chores - [ ] Grow in my love for my family Perhaps, I'll see you after all these? Or come back to me after all these? But if God is telling you to pursue me now? Let me know. Maybe we can do some of those together? Let me know by being clear with your intentions.

2017 was a year of unanswered prayers for me. With all honesty, I struggled a lot last year. Even until now, it feels as if it’s too hard for me to desire once again and believe for great things once more.

Reality is, we tend to see things the way we want to without knowing that God has a different view of every circumstance. Of every prayer. Of every desire.

And certainly, there are still so many things to be grateful of. I’ll choose not to magnify the NOs God has given me this year because I had a couple of YESes too! Still a reason to rejoice and hope!

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 These are some of the photos taken during our family's mini reunion in Kalanggaman, Palompon, Leyte. Our parents weren't able to join the trip so it was just four of us (Ate Leslie, Ate Lynville, Me and Nikki) who represented the Ramirez-Lugasan team. I was with my awesome and good-looking cousins during this 2 day trip and all I can say is that I am thankful to be part of this family no matter what! 

 We went there together in a van and in a car (my cousin's car was used for the things we brought) and I enjoyed even the entire traveling time. My cousin went home from London and he had so many stories about his 1 and a half year stay there as a nurse. And that entertained us well. We had so many stop overs as well which makes everything funny. Jude brought his 2 friends with us which made the whole trip actually more fun! It was raining heavily when we got there in Palompon. It makes us all feel sad but eventually after 3 hours the rain stopped and we had a chance to take our pang-DPs. 

 We really soaked ourselves to the Kalanggaman sea and we even tried snorkeling because we had pang-snorkel stuff with us. I was trying my best to breathe under water but I really just can't so I haven't had the chance to really see the sea creatures unlike my cousins. We also brought a DSLR, a go pro and a drone with us which enabled us to capture our memories there! I actually had fun observing how the drone operates. It was totally amazing to see the whole beauty of the Island because of that amazing gadget! :)

 During the night, Jude and friends, Kuya DJ and I jammed together because we also brought 2 guitars with us. It was just amazing and really really perfect for the feels there. Our food was also worth remembering! Because the trip was also a "welcome-back-kuya-dexter" trip, Kuya Dexter and their family provided the lechon and all the food! Masarap lahat! Of course because we've got the best moms with us and we also have a cruise chef with us! The struggle of having "banlaw" was real tho. It made us miss our comfort rooms in Tacloban. 

The following day we decided to catch some fish and to snorkel again. I was too scared of the sea urchins so I just stayed sa parang pantalan. But even from there, kita ko na yung iba’t ibang isda (and may eels doon nakakatakot sobra!). Nagbabad talaga kami ng sobra and we really made the most out of our stay there. 

Read the whole message in the  given link above. 

Christians are still human.

With all that being said, it’s been about eight years since God has brought me into my ministerial journey and the adventure itself has been incredible, to say the least. But although I am technically an ordained pastor in the beautiful state of Tennessee, a Christian author and a speaker, this doesn’t mean that I am without flaw or failure. I mess up all the time. I say things I shouldn’t say, respond in ways I shouldn’t respond, and pursue things I shouldn’t pursue. Excuse me for being honest with you, but it’s true. I’m human. My heart is filled with trash outside of Christ. This doesn’t mean I’m a hypocrite, It means I’m in need of the cross of Christ.

“For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God’s glorious standard.”—Romans 3:23

No matter if you’re a pastor, an author, father, a mother, a janitor or even a dentist; you’re still human, and you’re still going to make mistakes, regardless if you’re a Christian. The Christian life is full of imperfections, hence why we needed a perfect Savior to die upon a splintered piece of wood on our behalf. We’re never going to be perfect, nor will we ever be able to obtain anything close to it.

Christians aren’t hypocrites, they’re human.

Does this mean we give up and accept our sinful nature? No. We pursue righteousness, purity and the light of Christ, but we don’t beat ourselves up if we are to trip over the hurdles of our flesh sometimes. We seek forgiveness, accept grace, learn from our mistakes and push forward towards another day. With that being said, we have to realize that Christians aren’t hypocrites, we’re human. We aren’t going to reflect Jesus perfectly, nor are we going to live a life that is flawless and without mishaps.