Ren!!!

Of flinching at my father’s voice and actually making him contemplate his actions…

Of my mother’s treating me more like a boyfriend than a daughter.

The kind that takes pride in his work.

I taste you in my store brand bow tie pasta

The kind we made the next time you came over

You were allergic to the sauce but I only knew to joke.

Instead of saying sorry.

I take pride in the first time I gave you an apology.

For the wrong I did and the hurt I did and the swollen swollen cheeks.

If you keep running in the same direction.

Whether it’s right or left, sometimes making a choice is all you can do to guarantee you stay in familiar woods.

How can I hear “I’m an angry person so I go hunting. I scream at the top of my lungs out there. No one hears me.”

“I don’t like to hurt things. I’m responsible. I make sure they die easy.”

Don’t you get it?

You put the weapon in your hand and get mad when you want to fire it?

How do you live a thousand lives and never begin to comprehend what kind of person you are?

I open my mouth to tell you no but I’m just as bad.

“I don’t want to get political”

As if everything is not political.

As if I’m not standing on stolen land with shoes made of stolen fiber?

As if we’re not standing in the back room of a building owned by one of the largest grocery chains in the world?

If I could be angry, if I could afford to be.

They’re coming closer closer closer

A past that I’ve not lived,

That threatens to creep up and take my legs

India is invading my mind,

And although I know nothing

Not until you’re awake enough to love me.

I’ll be a lamb like you,