Lone Wolf

Minseok: Out where? She's not there right now, is she?

Minseok: If you two are venge-fucking to cause me pain, I'd like to ask you to not. Not that I think anyone gives a shit about how I feel anyway haha

Minseok: It's only too late if you choose to live with that kind of mentality. From the way you're talking, I guess it is.

Minseok: Don't call me kiddo. It makes you sound like a condescending prick. I'm telling you on the off chance that ur not trying to sound like one

Minseok: Yeah. Sucks, huh? But I don't think u really have the option of turning your feelings on and off.

Minseok: Unless you're like me and do whatever you can to numb them

Minseok: Ur talking to sober Minseok right onw but you wont be for long

Jihoon: figuratively as in she's doing reckless shit. You now fucking herself up bc u hurt her.

Jihoon: pretty much Minseok.

jihoon: I can, considering I already have. once an apathetic asshole, always an apathetic asshole.

Jihoon: But on the bright side, you made me feel things? I liked you, as more than a friend.

Jihoon: Chanmi made me feel things too, I loved her more as a girlfriend.

Jihoon: but i felt suffocated, from you, from her, from not being able to make anyone happy

jihoon: from failing to bring us all together and instead driving us all apart

Hwajung: Maybe you should just be patient and earn it. I'm not sure you deserve it just yet.

Hwajung: Oh, you're going to punish me? I don't take well to authority, oppa.

Jihoon: When does Oppa not deserve it? Weren't you just begging for my cock in your mouth a few days ago?

Jihoon: You don't? That's not what it looked like last time i fucked the life out of you?

Hwajung: Something you're gonna want really bad.

Hwajung: Do you want to guess what it is?

Jihoon: if it's what I think it is, you should just be a good girl and send it

Hwajung: Ji-oppaaaaa....

Hwajung: I have something for you...

Minseok: We need to talk.

Minseok: It's fine if you don't feel like talking, but I'm going to talk at you because it feels like I'm carrying a grand piano of guilt and shame on my shoulders and it sucks.

Minseok: I apologized to Chanmi. It went as well as you would expect.

Minseok: I said I wanted to go with Deokhye to the wedding because I wanted a night out with my best friend and it just didn't feel like romance was in the cards for me right now, but I just ended up hurting Hwajung by telling her that.

Minseok: And now I hear you're going with her instead.

Minseok: I guess my question is- what are you doing? And what am I doing?

Minseok: We were strangers before and I feel like we're going back to being that. Or we will at this rate.

Minseok: It's not too late to un-fuck our lives, right?

Jihoon: well at least I know why Hwajung's out here??

Jihoon: I'm living life, i'm dying the same thing we aLways do.

Jihoon: This is why people don't like feeling things, I get it now.

Jihoon: It's too late for me, but save yourself kiddo. try to talk it out with her, i don't know how far you'll get but?

   She can’t help but smile, listening to the way he hummed as he ran his fingers through his hair. It relaxed her– He relaxed her. It took her a second to respond to him, just nodding with a hum at first. “Conditioner isn’t unnecessary, It’s what makes my hair smell so good, and it gets so knotted without it.” she laughed. He was probably right of course, that she didn’t actually need it. He was smarter than her, and he often knew things that she didn’t. Opening her eyes, she couldn’t help the way his heart fluttered when he mentioned them growing older together, even if it was nothing more than a joke about going bald. She bit her lip as she turned to face him, hiding a smile. “You’d love me either way, right? Even if I was a bald old lady? Besides– we could have cool wigs together, that’s cute right?”

   She hears his laugh, causing her to furrow her brows, though not at the loss of her smile, “Hey don’t laugh at me.” After that she closed her eyes once more, fingers running through the water in circles. There was silence, until he mentioned the fact that he loved her– and that he’d fucked up. Which brought an awkward churn in her stomach. She wasn’t mad at him about it anymore, well, for the most part. It was something they could get over. He hadn’t meant to do it, and she couldn’t hate him forever for that. Turning to look at him, she cupped his cheek, water dripping onto his shoulder but it was more important that she spoke her mind. “Jihoon, You’re forgiven. I love you too much not to, okay? Everyone fucks up– You should know that i’m more familiar with that than anyone.” And with that she pushed herself to her knees, placing her palm against his other cheek, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips, soft and tender.  She pulled back, looking him over, “I love you so much, Ji.” She gave him a kiss once more, quicker than before.

“I didn’t mind to say that conditioning is unnecessary completely, let me rephrase. I meant that, shampooing your ends is unnecessary. You’re hair will dry out and become brittle.” He says quietly, reminding himself to work on his phrasing before speaking again.  His eyes look at her, fond expression on his face as he finished rinsing out her hair. Things had been rough, lately, but that didn’t mean his feelings for her ever changed. He had often thought, while she was gone, what their life would be like in the future.  Sometimes he thought they might have kids and leave the gang life, other times he saw them as a power couple-- Various scenarios. But he tried not to get ahead of himself. He didn't want to work himself up and she didn't want to be with him in the end. He hums lightly, massaging her scalp and shifting his body with hers so he could continue his actions. "Yeah of course I would. Chanmi, you could stab me in my side and betray me in every worst way possible and I'd both forgive you and love you."

"I'm only laughing because you're cute." He doesn't mind her hair dripping onto his shoulder, it was the last thing on his mind considering their important conversation, but the coldness does send a chill down his spine that makes him shiver into her touch, a light sigh escaping his lips. He had missed this too; the feeling of her lips on his, soft and warm. It's sending his mind in various directions, and he has to pull himself away to speak, "But you don't deserve that. You deserve so much better than that. I didn't mean to hurt you." His lips connect with her's again, hands resting on her waist as he pulls her closer.

   She’d missed intimate moments like this– It made the last few months worth it. Well, somewhat. Jihoon was her everything, all she had anymore, so she relished in any of his sweet, simple touches, even if it was something as domestic as washing her hair. Her eyes are still closed, head leaning back into his hands as he begins to scrub the shampoo into her hair. She’d always loved the feeling of his hands in her hair– anyone’s really. “Ji– don’t worry so much. It’s just hair,” she laughed lightly, knowing he meant well– but she’d be happy with anything he chose to do. She owed him so much and more. “I usually wash all of my hair, but it’s whatever you’re more comfortable with.” 

   She’d never really heard that it was bad to put shampoo all over your scalp, but Jihoon was just as smart as her. (( He was actually smarter, but that was something she never liked to admit. )) She tried to clear her mind of the thought that this might be damaging her hair, and simply focus on the feeling of his hands rubbing the soap into her hair. It felt nice, like it always did– she generally made him wash her hair, wether it was when they showered together, or when he was outside of the tub like this. She’d never had a boy REALLY do this for her, maybe towards the end of her relationship with Taekbin, but he’d never been as soft with her as Jihoon. A quiet moan of happiness came from between her lips, a smile forming wider as she turned to face him, “Thank you for washing my hair tonight. You’re not getting wet are you?” She always felt guilty if the arms or legs of his pajamas got droplets of water on them.

         He enjoyed this. He enjoyed the silence, the unspoken words. How he wasn't pressured into saying anything he wasn't ready to say or feel things he wasn't ready to feel. It was a pet peeve of his, for people to force him in situation in which he clearly didn't feel comfortable.  And Chanmi never did. (Well sort of, but at this point it wasn't like he wasn't ready to feel it, he just was nervous about saying it; Considering recent events.)  He hums lightly as she gives him free reign, deciding to follow his research before speaking some more, "It's because shampoo dries out your hair, so apply it all over your hair dries out the parts of your hair that don't need it. While conditioner returns the moisture, it's unnecessary." He clears his throat a bit, as he begins massaging her roots,  pausing to take off his glasses. He's got to squint a bit, but he doesn't mind. "It's not just hair it's your hair. What if it leads to hair loss when you're older? Do you wanna wear wigs when we're old and gray?"

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Chanmi: Yeah, but how much of that is because you actually want me here and how much of it is because you feel sorry for me?

Chanmi: But do you? Only if you're sure...

Jihoon: so ur saying i can predict the future and knew everything that was going to happen and was trying to tell u to move in with me before all that shit went down bc I felt bad for you???

Chanmi: Well when you put it that way it makes me feel worse, like you DON'T want me living with you.

Chanmi: And I just feel like I'm making you ask me out. Ugh this was a terrible idea I shouldn't have even said anything. It's all just dumb.

Jihoon: I've been telling you to move in for how long??

Jihoon: Don't get into your own head, I wanna do this okay??

Chanmi: Well, haven't we already rushed into things? It's not like we're really doing this at a normal pace? We already live together. I WANT to date you.

Chanmi: I really genuinely care about you and It just..It makes me nervous that you haven't made me yours yet. Like you don't want me or something.

Chanmi: I just...I know you're new but I thought maybe you'd just ask because YOU wanted it to?

Jihoon: Just becasue we've done things in a different way than others doesn't mean we're rushing into things.

Jihoon: granted we do live together but like you said it's bc u have no where else to go.

Jihoon: I care about you too Chanmi, but I don't want us to get together over text...

Chanmi: Well nothings WRONG...

Chanmi: It's just...

Chammi: Well, you know I love you, and I know you...well

Chanmi: Why aren't we serious? Like official serious? Don't you want to be? We're living together, and yeah it's because I have nowhere to go, but it's not like we're just roommates either.

Chanmi: ... why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend yet?

Chanmi: Are you ashamed or something? Bc of what I do?

Chami: *Did.

Jihoon: I'm not ashamed of you no.

Jihoon: I just.. don't want to rush you into things. or make you feel like because we live together we have to date.

Chanmi: Ji?

Chanmi: We're good right?

Chanmi: Because like, I just..

Jihoon: What's wrong???

   It was tiring, moving in with him. The last person she’d moved in with was Taebin, and that’d been so long ago that she’d forgotten how much of a hassle it was. It’d been her apartment really, Taek only coming by every now and then for sex, or dinner. But he’d left quite soon before her arrest, and she’d been spending most of her time at Jihoon’s. After her arrest she’d decided to move in with Jihoon completely– her parents wanted nothing to do with her, and she didn’t have anywhere else to go, so it seemed the most viable option. She’d collected what few items her parents held onto for her, and Jihoon had been helping move her in– but she only had so much. They’d needed to buy other things, the house not stocked for two. She felt guilty, like she usually did when it came to Ji and his kindness. She knew how he was about his space, and she felt more like a burden than anything, even if he said he wanted her here. 

   He was so good to her, even now, invading his home like this. He’d paid off her debts, allowed her to move in and now he was taking care of her in even the simplest way. He knew how much she loved having her hair washed, especially by him. Generally she made him take her baths or showers with her, but he was clean and dry and she wasn’t going to make him get wet over again for the sake of a quick bath. Closing her eyes, she listened to him talk, his voice as soothing as ever. He could calm her quicker than anyone. Giving him a small smile, she rung out some of the water in her hair “Which is your favorite?” She liked the idea of bamboo and tea tree oil, the latter being good for your body in countless ways, but she wanted him to be happy with her, so his opinion mattered more. 

He truly didn't mind. Having her move in was something he had wanted from a while, since before Taekbin had officially abandoned her. Jihoon had a hard time at first, dealing with his feelings for her. He personally, thought that he'd never have a relationship. He was always too formal, too uptight and too business like at the time to have one. He lacked emotion and he didn't seem to care about anything else but the gang. Then again, it was the gang that began to make him feel things. His childhood was deprived of emotion. He was forced to keep a stone face  at all times, forced into an apathetic lifestyle because his parents were terrified of him acting out and embarrassing him. He was forced to constantly focus on formalities. Deemed 'The most Angelic child in Seoul' for how well behaved and 'mature' he was growing up. He remembers getting in trouble for watching cartoons, the channel always changing to some science program.-- He hated his child hood. But here he was with Chanmi and she was making him feel again, she brought out more than just protectiveness, or the butterflies he'd feel with her. She brought out a deeper understanding, sympathy, empathy.-- Things he'd lacked.

The world never had moved so slow for him before and it was quite hard to comprehend that in reality, the time he spent away from Chanmi was very little. While he had definitely looked for her, it had felt longer than a few months. Like half a year maybe. And that was why he finally allowed to find himself comfort in someone else's arms. (Or should he say lips?) Then again, time had never moved so fast for him either. It seemed as if once knocked on his door, her small figure looking exactly the same as she had before she left leaving him choked for air and his brain shutting down; Time began to soar, making up for the length of time wasted while she was gone. he was doing thing left to right and he was beginning to get exhausted. He could barely keep up with their daily tasks and cartoons had been shut out of his life entirely for the moment.

He somehow managed to make it some time to was her hair for her, setting out the assortment of shampoos so she could choose which one she wanted to use. He had already showered, so he sat out side the tub, pokemon pajamas on for the night. "Let's see, for Shampoos we've got the acid shampoo with coconut, bamboo and tea tree oil,  A coconut water shampoo,  This one supposed to smell like lavender and then there's this one that supposed to smell like candy. Which one do you want?"