Fuck this place

Really not appreciating The Problems being back. Ive been crazy forever but usually its repressed nice and deep where it cant hurt me and i can get on with my life and do the washing up and stuff. But now not getting any restful sleep im a straight up bitch again. A weird bitch at that

Trying to make friends whilst autistic is fraught with peril. Even more so whilst traumatised. I can feel the lull in the convo but my brain is completely frozen at a loss for what to say next. I can tell i should be asking about their life but i dont care about the answer. I can tell they interrupted me because theyre expecting me to roll with it and continue the conversation but i actually have to tell this entire story no matter how many times they chime in. And the worst part is They Are Staring At You.

It was like 8 years ago now and it doesnt matter literally at all but i'll always remember having an argument with my ex because i said that i liked at the end of monsters inc when they actually did the "put that thing back where it came from or so help me" play and my ex was adamant that that was just a joke in the movie and the play never existed. Baring in mind he was 14 years older than me and would have been 19 when it came out whereas i was 5 and have been watching that movie on repeat my entire life and he still thought he was right. So when we looked it up and i was right he had to give in to having lost an argument that mattered so little he could have just trusted me about it and moved on. Anyway i hope he dies

Anyone else experiencing the passage of time as an unbearably slow crawl for like no reason

Going from my pervert friends on tumblr to seeing people censor their feet on Instagram reels is such a jarring experience. You know people are cranking it to every single aspect of your appearance right. You know by posting yourself online you open yourself up to everyone on earth right. Either be ok with that or dont do it <3 Sending feet pics to all my pervert friends btw.

Took a risk and had tiramisu flavour icecream cos it sounded good but you see no coffee-flavoured thing ever denotes if it actually contains caffiene or just coffee flavouring. i will say i can feel my nerves vibrating a little so at least i finally have a good reason to act wired and crazy. For once

Chronic pain is hard because my body hurts me every day and punishes me for enjoying my life and im supposed to be like compassionate and forgiving about it. Im furious. Im indignant. I want to rage and cry and scream and my body wont even let me do that without punishment. Im trapped in here and im supposed to be zen and kind about it. I should be allowed to kill people about this

Sleeping so badly lately and i can only imagine it's the new meds. Yeah the ones that are a miracle cure for some people but not me apparently. Yeah. I should be allowed to kill