Fuck yeah Guardians of The Galaxy!

Rocket is afraid of water.  Not rain, not showers (though he doesn’t bathe nearly as often as his friends would prefer) but rivers, pools.  Anything deep enough to drown in.

But why?  Normal raccoons are capable swimmers.  Rocket isn’t a normal raccoon.  His cybernetic implants make him heavier than water and swimming is much more tiring for him than for, say, a human. While he is very strong for his size, drowning is a real risk if he falls into water and can’t quickly get to the shore. It doesn’t help that back in the lab some of his “tests” involved forcing him to pick locks and escape rapidly filling tanks.  It was escape or drown.

He’d never admit it, but you can tell from the way he never comes within a body’s length of a swimming pool.  Water. Rocket dreads it.

(This headcanon is an attempt to explain Rocket’s panic during a certain scene in a certain movie.  You know the one.)

We see her on board in the trailer, then see Tony seemingly alone.  My headcanon is she IS still on board, but since we saw in the last movie she’s 90%+ machine, she shut herself down to save supplies and air. She’ll power back up when the ship gets boarded my people come to rescue them.

Who should/will rescue Tony?

(And Nebula if she's on the Benatar too, it's not clear if she is but a blurry screenshot suggests she's there).

Captain Marvel:  Probably not. While she's well equipped to do so, I doubt they'll revisit the “Thor shows up out of freaking nowhere” bit from IW. And it seems unlikely she'll get her big dramatic entrance on Earth then fly right off to find Tony, considering no one knows where he is.

 Rocket, looking for the rest of the Guardians in a ship he built or modified on Earth:  This is the most reasonable one since he has a damn good reason to be looking for the Benatar and I hope it happens since Rocket and Tony interacting is one thing I really want in Endgame.

  Rocket and Thor arriving via the Bifrost:  Probably not.  Thor has his own problems and I expect he’ll be very busy on Earth.  Plus, he doesn’t know where Tony is and without Heimdall he has no way to target the Bifrost  n the Benatar (as far as we know).

 Korg, randomly showing up with the Asgardian refugees:  “Hey man, you need a ride? I can't help but notice your ship is messed up...” Second only to Rocket as the reasonable person to save Tony.

 Ant-Man or others finding him through the Quantum Realm:  Probably not.

  Kraglin, also looking for the Guardians with the Quadrant and/or other ships.  Also fairly likely.

  He rescues himself:  Probably not. Tony can’t make something from nothing and it’s clear from the trailer he is certain he’s doomed.

  Rescue (Pepper Potts in IM armor) comes and gets him:  Unlikely since IM armor hasn't been shown to have deep space capability and while Rocket could probably make her suit able to do it, he's likely to be laser focused on finding the Guardians himself.

So: Likely contenders:  Rocket, Korg, Kraglin 

Unlikely: Captain Marvel, Pepper Potts, random Earth character 

Almost certainly not:  Anyone else. 

Thoughts?

1. No time skip, or at worst a very short one.  Good!  Now we get to see the characters react to the events of A3.

2. Tony and Nebula stuck on the Benatar.  Who will save them?  Almost certainly someone who happens to command the Bifrost and his rabbit friend.

3.  Hawkeye is now Ronin.  With a few other ninja-style characters, a stealth team seems likely.

4. Ant-Man got out of the Quantum Realm.  Given the mention of Time Vortexes at the end of AM2 he is likely to be critical in A4.

5.  Needs more (or at least some) Rocket.

Rocket likes to eat grapes. They are one of his favorite foods, and he likes to say they pop like eyeballs between his fangs. (No one has the nerve to ask him if he's serious.) Luckily some Terran seeds have made it out this far so it's not too rare to find them in a shop.

He also loves raisins, which he only encounters when he pilfers them from the boxes of Raisin Bran Peter occasionally finds at specialty food shops. It turns out that several ships make runs to Earth to collect food and other materials to sell. Only very discreet vendors are allowed to make these runs so they remain a secret back on Terra. As long as you're willing to spend a lot of money you can have the occasional bowl of Earth cereal, even on Xandar, and Peter happily spends that money to bring back childhood memories.

Neither Peter nor Rocket have any idea that raisins are actually dried grapes. More than one fight about the Raisin Bran would have been avoided if they knew that little fact.

Headcanon: Groot taught Drax how to become invisible.

Headcanon 103:

Gamora strode into the Quadrant’s common area on her way from her cabin to the stairs leading up to the control deck. She spared only a glance at Drax, leaning forward over the table, but something caused her to pause in mid-step.

“Again,” she heard him whisper, and she took a step closer to see who he was talking to.  There on the table, obscured previously by his bulk, was the tiny foot-high sprout of Groot, rooted as always in his pot and frozen in mid-movement. Drax was fixated on the sight and just as motionless.

“What are you doing?  Drax?”

Almost imperceptibly slowly the little tree’s eyes turned in their sockets until he was looking at her. Just as slowly Drax twisted his head just far enough to see her out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly he and Groot relaxed into normal movement, and Drax smiled as he cupped the little tree’s pot in one hand.

“Learning,” the giant said.  Gamora shook her head in disbelief and resumed her trek to the bridge.

“Again,” she heard Drax whisper behind her, and shot a glance over her shoulder to see both the hulking bruiser and the tiny tree frozen in place. “Soon I will master this technique.”

“Sometimes,” she muttered to herself as she headed up the stairs, “It’s best not to ask.”

I’d say something clever about this but I simply agree that he does seem to have some level of OCD or ADHD.  I’ve addressed it in a story or two and if he didn’t have the compulsion to double check everything before then having Yondu die because he didn’t have enough supplies he probably had it afterward. There’s also the point that Gunn himself mentioned that Rocket mixes up his left and right sides from time to time because they screwed up some element of his cybernetics when they made him, so he may be a bit dyslexic too.

Headcanon 101:

Each of the Guardians takes their turn cooking, and each has their own favorite things to prepare.  Peter, whipping up half remembered Terran recipes from alien ingredients, Groot making vegetarian fare for all, Rocket with his worrying interest in using various insects and vermin in his cooking.  "You keep talkin’ about crabs, Pete, that bug is just a different colored crab so EAT THE DAMN THING!“  Drax with his hearty stews, Gamora with surprisingly delicate fare.  And then there’s Mantis.Mantis is a genuinely good cook, verging on great.  She is not only good at working the ingredients, but she has an excellent sense of taste and knowledge of spices. Rocket sees cooking as applied chemistry, but to Mantis it is an art form.  And it’s one she is very good at.Fluffy souffles, cookies, casseroles, vegetables, biscuits, bread, meat. Mantis can make anything taste good and seemingly with little effort.When they ask her how she got so good Mantis gets defensive, going so far as to ignore the question and pretending to be engrossed in cooking or eating to avoid it. They’ve stopped asking, merely thanking her for the meals, because one by one they’ve come to the same conclusion.Mantis is a great cook because it was one of her functions for Ego, and Ego wasn’t the only one she cooked for.  There was the parade of his progeny, to be fed and talked to and pampered…until each and every one inevitably disappeared.She should have asked questions earlier, she thinks.  She should have tried to stop him and like all the other Guardians she feels guilty for surviving when others did not.But she genuinely enjoys cooking, and its well worth the effort to see the Guardians stop quarreling and just settle down to enjoy the food.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter how you acquire a skill.  It just matters that you enjoy using it to make others happy.

Peter is determined to show the gang all his favorite movies from the 70s & 80s. He does this by hosting “Movie Night” attendance is mandatory. Submitted by @trashpandaorigins

*******

"And where do you think you're going?" Star-Lord caught Gamora sneaking down the Milano's ramp. He knew what was going on.  "You know it's mandatory.  I don't insist on much on my ship, but this one is not optional." Gamora let out a longsuffering sigh.  "I don't see the point, Peter." "One of these days, Gams, we're going to go to Terra for one reason or another and this is the only way you'll know anything about it." "This and Quill regurgitating Terran culture on us all hours of the day and night," Drax said from behind Peter. "But it is not all bad.  I enjoyed the adventure of the black plowman." "The who?" Rocket's furry face popped out of a panel nearby.  A smear of grease was over one eye and he had a wrench in each hand.   "Black plowman," Drax intoned.  "The story of the warrior who found the sword in the tomb and killed the man who slew his father." "Conan?" Peter blinked incredulously.  It had been the Movie Night show last week.  "How do you get 'Black plowman' from that?" "The name of the man who plays him.  Arnut Black Plowman." "But -" "Hold on, Pete," Rocket said as he crawled out of the maintenance duct.   "It's a translation issue.  I kind of hear both 'Black plowman' and 'Schwartzenegger' when Drax says it.  The S-name must mean that in some language.  Anyway!" He stomped a little clawed foot with probably less drama than he intended.  It's hard to stomp when you weigh forty pounds.  "I agreed to this stupid movie night thing an' if I gotta suffer through it, you gotta too.  I'll get the booze." "Booze does make it more enjoyable," Drax agreed.  "Gamora?" The assassin sighed again.  "All right. I get to pick the bottle, though." "That's the spirit." Peter led them to the common area, the only room on the Milano big enough for a gathering. Mantis and Groot were already there, the former picking through the box of Terran movies Star-Lord found at a junker and the latter of course engrossed in his handheld game. "I like this one," Mantis said, and held up a VHS tape..  Luckily the box came with a VCR when Peter bought it that Rocket soon hooked into the meeting room's holoprojector. "A Clockwork Orange," Peter said.  "Mantis, I kind of remember that one.  I don't think you'd like it.  I only saw a little but my mom said I wouldn't like it either.   It's about bad people." "I am Groot," said the adolescent tree without looking up from his game. "No, I mean really bad people.  We're only sorta bad.  I'm talking bad-Ravager bad." "We could watch that one about the girl who kills all the people who were bullyin' her," Rocket said with relish. "That one was great." "It's not your turn to pick, Rocket," said Gamora.  "You picked Carrie two weeks ago, Drax was last week. Peter said he'd pick last so this week it's either me, Mantis or Groot." That provoked a quick round of rock-paper-scissors with Groot winning.  He reluctantly took his eyes off his game and rooted around in the box with one hand.   "I am Groot," he said as he held one up. "Rocky," Peter read, and Rocket perked up before realizing he hadn't been addressed.  "Might be good.  That one I did see, it's about a boxer who everyone thinks is washed up but he really wants to win so he tries and tries." "Too much washing is bad," Drax rumbled.  "I believe one bath a week is all too many." "We know," said absolutely everyone simultaneously, including the 'I am Groot' that translated to it. "Oh!" Star-Lord grabbed a tape out of the pile.  "Raiders of the lost ark! I remember this one, its great!  Guys, we gotta watch this." "Pete, I don't get to watch the humie chick murder people an' Drax don't get get Black Plowman 'cos it ain't our turn.  An' it's not yours." "I like the look of this one," Drax rumbled.  "Black plowman is in it." He held up The Terminator. "That one looks good but it ain't your turn," Rocket snapped.  "Groot, you better pick one, people are getting antsy." "I am Groot." Groot rummaged through the pile, dropping Close Encounters and picking up an Alien/Aliens double feature. "I read the back a that one, it's just a Brood ripoff," Rocket said disparagingly.  "We got real ones to worry about, we don't need fake ones." "You don't get to pick for him, Rocket," Gamora scolded.  "Let him choose." "I am Groot," the tree said, and held up a tape.  They could see why he'd picked it.  A humie in winter clothing with his face glowing so brightly you couldn't make it out.  He almost looked like a flower. "Oh," Mantis said.  "The Thing.  Look how bright he shines!  It must be a very cheerful movie." It wasn't.

- Mod-Woozle

Halfworld Discord!

Headcanon #99:

Peter woke with a start, sitting up inbed so fast his head almost knocked into the overhead shelf.  He’dbeen…fighting?  He and most of the Guardians, fighting Thanos withsome people he didn’t know. Some guy in power armor, a wizard (?),another guy in less bulky armor.

And something terrible, something aboutGamora.  He ran his hand over her side of the bed, still faintlywarm, still smelling like her.  So.  It really was just a dream. Nightmare is more like it, Star-Lord though.

He smelled food. Peter yawned andpulled on his shirt. The alien letters on it shifted thanks to histranslator until he could read it: Gears Shift. In the companionwaythe smell of food was stronger and he found the other Guardiansgathered around the meeting table, which was covered in dishes. Scrambled eggs, bacon (or close enough, he knew not to ask what sortof eggs they were or what animal the “bacon” came from),pancakes, three kinds of toast including raisin (-ish) bread, fourbowls of fruit, half of something that would pass for a ham, rolls,and more.

In the back Rocket bustled in, a basketof fresh-baked biscuits in his hands. Drax, mouth full, wordlesslyreached out for one.

“What is going on?” Peter looked atGamora, Mantis, Groot.  Each shook their head or looked away.  “Whomade all this?  Did everyone get up early for a cooking party?”

“I am Groot,” Groot said, andstuffed a roll into his mouth without bothering to butter it.

“Rocket did all this?  What’s thedeal?  Is there laxative in the scrambled eggs?”

“Shut up,” Rocket growled.  “Sitdown.  Eat.”

The way everyone was avoiding his gaze,though.  “Okay, I’m just going to say it.  Did everyone else have abad dream too?”

Drax nodded curtly.  Mantis lookedaway.  Groot scowled.  Only Gamora answered.  “Yes, Peter.  We alldid.  Except Rocket.  He was here making breakfast when I came out,and I was the first up. And…”

She held up her sword, the high-techcollapsing one, sharp as a razor…and repaired.  Skillfullyrepaired, but still the marks of tools on it, and he’d seen enough ofRocket’s work to know it.

“Did you break her sword?  Is thatwhat all this is, an apology?”

“I said shut up, Pete.” Rocketreached under the table and began pulling things from beneath it,sliding them across the table to each of them.  A torc-like necklacefor Mantis, a new game slate for Groot, what looked like a matchedpair of scabbards for Drax’s long knives…and for him, a set ofbeautifully tooled leather holsters for his blasters. He turned themwonderingly in his hands, ogling the stitching, the inset stonebeads, the hand-made buckles.

“God, Rocket.  This must have takendays.  Where did you find the time?”

The raccoon paused, a roll half eatenin one little clawed hand.  As he froze for a moment Peter noticedthat he looked…thinner?  Older?  His eyes sunk back into his head,his fur less glossy. And he’d never seen that harness before, the allblack straps and the obsidian-shiny armored plates.  One strapcarried a series of disks, each with a symbol.  The only one he couldmake out was what looked to be a set of headphones.

“Pete…” Rocket put down the roll. “Do me a favor.  Please.” And that word meant something.  Hewasn’t sure he’d ever heard the raccoon say it before.  “Just eat,an’ be happy, and let’s pretend this nightmare never happened.”

“I thought you said he didn’t havethe dream, Gamora.”

“Pete.”  Rocket stared him in theeye.  “Please.”

And so they ate, and they were happy,and they never mentioned the dream again.

Thee's a curious synergy to the Guardians that is not evident to the average person they meet.  To wit: They are all alone.

Peter is the only human (as far as he knows) in this part of the universe.  In 26 years in space he's never seen another person from Earth.

Drax has left the survivors of his race behind in the wake of Ronan's attack. Vengeance consumed his life for too long and now he is so far from home he may never see another member of his race.

Gamora is, she thought for a long while, the last of the Zen-Whoberi.

Mantis has no idea where her homeworld is.  As Ego's property there was no reason for him to tell her where is was and he punished her whenever she asked.

Groot, well, Groot thinks there are other Floral Colossi out there, but where?  He was taken from his world and doesn't know if it is still there or if he is the last of his kind.

And Rocket, created in a lab and ultimately escaped from his captors.  Rocket, who knows in his heart there is no one like him anywhere.  Rocket, perhaps the loneliest being ever to stand in a crowd, surrounded by people yet never one of them.

Later, Kraglin joins, who lost his entire crew and his captain in one awful day. And Nebula, tormented cyborg and outlaw.  

It's no wonder they cling to each other.  They are the only family they have.

Yes I'm alive and I'll start posting more often. Sorry Woozle for kinda abandoning you.

People keep giving Rocket round, padded pet beds.  It's happened at least three times now.  They are usually Ravager red.  One even has his name and the Ravager symbol embroidered on.

No one ever tells him they are pet beds - Quill calls the one he bought for Rocket a "Travel bed for anthropomorphs, size four." Now Rocket isn't a picky sleeper and will curl up in a pilot's seat, stretch out on a human-sized bed, sack out in a hammock or even sprawl out on a metal floor if all else fails, but the comfort and portability of the pet beds appeals to him. He can drag them to wherever he's working and sleep when he exhausts himself.  

Groot watches his father crumble away to dust even as Rocket reaches out to him. By the time he makes it to the raccoon there’s nothing left but ashes.  For a long moment Groot kneels, sifting through the dust that used to be Rocket.  His elbow brushes something.  He realizes that his prized game is still on his back, held there by his tendrils.  He pulls it out and sees the scratches where an angry Rocket tore it out of his hands because it was dinnertime and he wouldn’t stop playing to eat.

But he also sees all the spots where Rocket painstakingly repaired it.  Rocket knew Groot loved the game.  Even though he thought Groot shouldn’t play it as much as he did, Rocket still made sure to keep it running because his son liked it.

Somehow, Groot knows the others are gone too.  They’re all gone.  He’s the last Guardian.

Carefully Groot returns the game to his back, his tendrils gripping it safe and tight.  It was all he had left of his father.  All except the anger.  He stood.

Groot had been angry before.  He was a teenager.  He was angry a lot.  He’d never been angrier than now.

“I am Groot,” he says.