I’m At The Point Of No Return

Persephone was different from others in the Capitol, something only less than a handful of people knew — maybe it was because she was a Heavensbee that influenced her view of the Capitol, considering how her brother, Plutarch, moved throughout the country. He was powerful in both name and position, the man who had been trying to pull the rug from underneath their feet for longer than she’d been alive, with the aid of her mother.

They made themselves indispensable to Snow and the Capitol, ensuring their flower was indispensable. Despite their best efforts Snow didn’t view you the same way, he couldn’t deny the influence you had, but being a product of the Capitol and the districts, a girl stuck between two worlds, put you in a grey area.

It didn’t matter that you were beloved in the Capitol, known as their flower, daughter of Persephone Heavensbee. In his eyes you were still a risk, and the threat of hurting your parents would motivate you — you weren’t sure if you believed him or not, but Snow had a way of making people disappear.

Something you were all but sure he planned of doing when during your last year of eligibility, you were called up to the stage. Head held high you made your way through, because Snow wasn’t going to get the satisfaction of seeing you break. Now wasn’t the time, but like Uncle Plutarch said, Snow and this whole system was going to crumble, it was inevitable.

Except now you were a victor who had to play a different part. Today you were the Capitol’s flower, and tomorrow you’d be what they deemed as the siren.

The Capitols siren didn’t wear a purple wig or pink poofy dresses, she wore a blue or green tight fitting dress with cutouts and a slit showing off just enough skin. According to Snow, if it was too much it would be tacky and if it wasn’t enough you wouldn’t be desirable.

Your stylist had direct orders to follow, and any deviation would be cause for punishment. You did your best to prevent Snow’s wrath, it didn’t matter how beautiful the green and blue, sometimes gold if it was a big party dresses were. Big parties meant important clients — people you were expected to entertain.

It made your skin crawl.

Yet a part of you was happy that your father wasn’t desirable, or the other victors in District 4 weren’t either — and you desperately wished your best friend wasn’t either. Finnick had helped you adjust and adapt to being a victor in the Capitol…the expectations. He was the one that told you to hookup up with someone back home, get your first time out of the way, but things didn’t work like that at the Capitol, because before you could follow his advice, Snow had made it aware to clients and the highest bidder would have the chance to take your virginity.

To this day, you weren’t sure how Snow knew, or if it was just an assumption. An assumption that led to the man being a regular much to both of their delight. When you returned back to your mothers, you spent the rest of the night in your mothers arms, as she rubbed soothing circles on your back as you sobbed.

When the man approached you the following day in your role as the capitol’s flower, you never would’ve known what he had just done, but here he was standing here with his family with large smiles. His young daughter had a bright smile and no idea of the world around her, no idea of what was happening in the districts but one day she would. You’d make sure of that — kids will know a better way, that we were all better together, not divided up.

As they moved on to speak to other people, you spotted Haymitch Abernathy, someone your uncle had once believed could break the system during his games. Now he made his yearly visits for the game and another visit to remind the capitol of his existence, just as Snow did with the other victors who weren’t considered desirable. To you though Haymitch Abernathy was.

There was something about him that had always captured your attention, he was drunk most of the time, even when he was mentoring the tributes — but at just 32 years old, he was extremely handsome. And if you looked close enough you’d see that he was a good guy who had been through too much, he was a survivor and had never been openly rude and hurtful to you which unfortunately was a win in your book.

Finnick and your father were the only victors who knew that you also played the role of the Capitol flower, so you understood why the others found you annoying whenever you tried to speak to them. The only comfort was the kindness some of them showed you when you were there as yourself, the victor of district 4 — the Capitols newest it girl.

—

It had been two years since you won your games, now at 20 years old, you’re better at playing the game, moving between the two worlds, and gathering secrets. Now you were good friends with some of the victors outside of Finnick and your father — and the capitol flower had made herself more and more important to the capitol society, living up to the Heavensbee name. A reminder of who you were, of who your family was. Something that you knew Snow hated, which only made it more exciting. You were exactly what he wanted you to be in both of your roles, which is why the invitation to the rose garden was puzzling.

The purple tulle roses on your dress moved above the stone pathway arranged in what you had come to know as a maze filled with roses. Roses were everywhere you looked - they were arched over the walkway, beautiful bushes along the pathway, it was the only beautiful thing that had come from Snow, it was a shame that he had all but ruined roses for you.

He was sitting on a grey marble bench tending to pink roses when he came into view. As he continued tending to the garden, he asked, "Do you remember the first time you visited the garden?"

You let out a faint smile at the memory, "I do."

"Flower, remind me again, what was it you said?"

"I told you how it was one of the most magical places I'd ever seen, but I have a feeling you want me to tell you, it was the day I saw the flower that inspired this beautiful dress," you said, lifting the ball gown up a bit to show the intricately sewn-on flowers.

Nodding, he smiled, "I had a feeling you would enjoy the dress, despite your love of pink roses and pink dissipating."

"They're beautiful, sir," you started, as he turned back to the flowers, only to be cut off by a hand gesture. "I'm aware you're much more taken with the blue roses now, but it's not possible."

"If you don’t mind me asking, why am I here sir?"

Nodding, he gestured to the spot next to him. Shaking your head, you said, "As much as I would love to sit, I'm afraid I'll tear the dress. Tulle is beautiful and delicate, but it can tear easily."

"We wouldn't want that now, would we?" he said smirking, “You may want to keep that in mind for the future.”

“Excuse me?”

“You are to marry Mr. Abernathy.”

Furrowing your eyebrows, you studied his face, “To be clear we’re talking about the victor Haymitch Abernathy?”

“Don’t sound so shocked, I’ve seen how your eyes have lingered, this should be a joyous occasion for you.”

“We barely know each other, he doesn’t even love me.”

“That is hardly a reason not to wed, and Mr. Abernathy keeps to himself, he drinks and most find him to be unlikable, both here and in his district.”

“So why do you want me to marry him? Isn’t it bad for victors from different districts to get married?”

“He will be marrying the capitols flower, not the victor from district 4”

“That makes even less sense.”

“You need to be married, and as you know, you cannot marry someone from the capitol.”

“Wouldn’t people be confused?” you questioned.

“They will not know who you are to wed, it will remain a secret.”

That was even more confusing, a secret marriage between a victor and a member of the Capitol? What was the move? That’s when it hit, “One that you can use when the time is right…?”

“Are you going to ask what will happen if you do not agree?”

“What’s the point?”

“So agreeable.”

“I just understand the stakes.”

“Yes, you are quite good at playing the game.”

“It’s what you’ve had me doing since I was a child.”