THE GUN POINTED AT THE HEAD OF THE UNIVERSE

hmm... *gets in evil bed and holds my evil stuffed animal* evil night.. *turns off my fucked up evil lamp*

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil

guy in the frozen food aisle walking around with his hands behind his back like he's at a museum

wait i just found out you can be nice to people and be their friend i thought we had to kill them all cause i was raised in a lab to be a living weapon

[recommending something i sincerely love] ok so the thing about it is it kinda sucks

Everything is gonna be so simple for now on

Rattling the bars of my cage but you can tell my heart's not in it and I try to discreetly look down check my phone several times