THE GORBURGER BLOG

I DEMAND PEOPLE DONATE TO THIS

NINTENDO, DO THIS

THIS MUST BE SEEN BY ALL NOW! 

NO MORE RED AND ORANGE LAVA IN MOVIES! FROM NOW ON WE HAVE BLUE, GREEN, PURPLE OR EVEN PINK! STOP HOLDING BACK! ESPECIALLY IF ITS AN ALIEN DAMN PLANET! NOT ALL CORES ARE THE SAME!!

WHAT WHAT THEY EXIST? I HAD A DREAM YEARS AGO THAT I VISITED AN ALIEN MUSEUM AND A VOLCANO THAT SPEWED OUT LAVA THIS COLOR EXISTED. Well, I’ll be darned. Further elaborating, it was a time museum. One screen showed the volcano vibrant and alive. Another showed it in its future state, lifeless, barely any hints of its magma coloration upon the volcanic rocks left behind. [In the dream, I was gathering knowledge of time and space.] Fascinating!

IT PROBABLY WASN’T A DREAM.

If a hot dog and a cupcake has a child would it be a hotcake or a cup-dog? And how would it taste? Would it have the softness and sweet taste of the cupcake or the meatiness and the juiciness of the hot dog? I’m willing to attempt this.

PLEASE SHARE WHATEVER DRUGS YOU ARE ON WITH THE REST OF US.

@gorburger

“YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD!” *AND THEN HE PAUSES BEFORE SPITTING OUT THE ICE CUBES ALL OVER MAXIE* 

I WOULD SUE THE LIVING FUCK OUT OF THAT DOCTOR. “BLAH BLAH BLAH HORMONES BLAH BLAH BLAH” “BUT WHAT ABOUT THIS? WHAT ABOUT THAT? WHAT ABOUT THE FREAKING HOLES IN MY BRAIN?!” “PLEASE CALM DOWN, THAT’S YOUR HORMONES TALKING, BLAH BLAH BLAH” OH AND THEY DIDN’T EVEN DO ANY BLOODWORK TO CONFIRM IT’S HORMONES. I’M SORRY YOU GOT SUCH A SEXIST MORON FOR A DOCTOR, ONLY IN THE DEEP SOUTH COULD THIS HAPPEN. GET ON DISCORD, I DEMAND TO COMFORT YOU! I WILL ALSO SHARE MY BOOZE WITH YOU. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU HAD A HELL OF A DAY. WHOEVER TRIED TO ROB YOU SHOULD DIE A PAINFUL DEATH BY BEING EATEN. EAT THE THIEF.

I seem to be having tons of irrational bad luck as of late (as stated in my previous post: the horrible sexist neurologist appointment, the people that attempted robbing our backyard, etc). My debit card was used without permission by someone in Yonkers, New York to buy TONS of Dominios pizza. It INFURIATED ME BECAUSE THAT WAS MY FUCKING SAVINGS THAT I SPENT FOREVER SAVING. I can not even fucking afford Dominos (OR EVEN NEW SHOES FOR THAT DAMN MATTER), and I crave pizza often. :c Needless to say, I was FUCKING NUMB and did not know what to do. After Googling, I called the police up in Yonkers, New York. They told me to call the cops in this area. I called them, the cop came over, I filed a police report, (THANKFULLY MY PARENTS WERE ASLEEP because they never support me, only scream that it is my fault), and I gave them the address of the people in New York that did that, and the Domino’s address that it was ordered from. In a few hours I plan to cancel my debit card to get a new one (I tried to do that sooner but they are closed. Their hours are 8est - 11est.) AND I WILL HOPEFULLY BE REFUNDED. JFC. I am terrified for what other awful things may happen next. Holy shit. Anyways, I got a case number and I can go visit the police station later next week to hear updates about the case. I did not even want to step out next week… but I will have to for the stupid doctor and now police station. I can not put the address of the thieves here, BUT this is the address of the Dominio’s Pizza store that they ordered from: “Your Domino’s Store (3552): 471 Mclean Ave Yonkers NY 10705 | 914-375-5900“ I have never even been to New York… let alone anywhere freaking else other than just ugly south Texas. Thanks for making me feel further miserable, you disgusting thieves. edit: please excuse these posts. i have been having a difficult time lately and need to vent. i apologize.

I DEMAND THAT YOU GET ON DISCORD SO I CAN COMFORT YOU

the only single positive thing to happen today was that there was a honeybee trapped in a spider’s web and so I completely destroyed the web to free the bee. and then the bee landed on my hand. fuck nature. free the bees.

THIS IS THE ODDEST VRISKA/SOLLUX FANFICTION I HAVE EVER READ.

@gorburger

AND THEN THEY FUCKED.