-

ever since you and ellie had been in grade school, you had been inseparable. it all started when you fell down while playing, scraping your knee. when your eyes got teary, you looked up to see a girl with auburn hair and freckles crouch in front of you. she helped you find a bandaid for your scraped knee, before giving you a flower to cheer you up. ever since that day, you had basically lived at joel’s house. even with being ellie’s adoptive dad, he had practically raised her and treated her just like his own. this extended to you, not having the best home life. if you had to leave in the middle of the night, he’d be on the porch waiting to help you bring your bags in.

“eat up, before it gets cold” he teased you, plopping some more spaghetti on your plate. his cooking was always very single dad-esque, extending from casseroles to easy to make pastas.

“i can’t believe this is our last dinner together” ellie mumbled, twirling the noodles with her fork solemnly. it was the night before she left, something that had hit her only a few hours before, causing her to be in a sour mood.

“well, we will still have plenty more when you come home for breaks” joel said, trying to cheer her up.

“what, you aren’t excited for that cafeteria food?” you asked, chuckling with a small grin. she couldn’t help the smile that grew on her lips, trying not to think about the crazy meals that awaited her.

“yeah, yeah” she huffed, taking a bite. after dinner, you all lounged in the living room while a cheesy horror movie played in the back ground. ellie was locked in, watching the film while she played with your hair, braiding and unbraiding a small piece with her eyes glued to the screen. you couldn’t focus on the television, your attention more drawn to the way her long, slender fingers felt between the strands of your hair. the warmth from her hands seeped through, making you sigh. the movie finally ended, and joel shut off the television.

“well, i’m gonna hit the hay. you girls make sure to be up in time, you especially ellie” joel said with a hearty chuckle as ellie jokingly rolled her eyes. as you said goodnight, silence fell over you and ellie.

“ready for bed?” she asked, looking at you as her fingers left your hair. you nodded, following her to her bedroom. as you both settled in bed, you realized this was probably the last time things would be like this for a long time, if not ever again.

“promise you’ll keep in touch?” you whispered, eyeing her features lit in the moonlight as you laid on your side, facing her.

“of course, i’ll call you every day” ellie said, brushing some hair behind your ear. you ignored the way your heart skipped a beat, pushing the feeling back like you had for years.

growing up in a small town, you realized once all the other girls your age started talking about boys and dating, you felt quite the opposite when you looked at your masculine classmates. you tried, even faking infatuation. when ellie confided in you about a secret fling she had with riley, a girl who was staying with her aunt for the summer in town, you realized why you felt this way. the jealousy that surged in your chest was something that could easily be dismissed from ellie being your best friend. the jealousy that persisted when you saw her talking to other girls, knowing then that she was possibly interested in them was something you couldn’t ignore. it was something you kept hidden, not wanting to ruin any aspect of the years long bond you guys had.

“you better, or i’m gonna have to come there” you teased, chuckling softly.

“if i miss you enough, i’ll have to stop replying then” she teased back, her grin evident even in the dark. you chatted a bit before she finally dozed off, her breathing evening out. you smelled the quilt, taking in the woodsy scent that was ellie, something you knew you’d come to miss. you moved closer, resting your head against her back once she turned on her side. you closed your eyes, holding back tears until you finally fell asleep.

-

the truck pulled up to ellie’s dorm building lot, students bustling about and unpacking their belongings while their families helped. joel put the truck in park, looking at you and ellie.

“ready?” he asked, nodding at the bags in the back. ellie nodded, fidgeting with her sleeve before hopping out of the truck. you all grabbed her bags, one of the student workers helping you guys find her room. you set her bags down, looking around the small single dorm.

“excited, kiddo?” joel asked, looking around. ellie smiled, nodding.

“yeah, i guess this is it.” she said, looking at the both of you. joel sighed, pulling her into a hug. he got a bit teary eyed, but as per usual didn’t get too emotional. he pulled back, patting her shoulder. she looked at you, pulling you into a tight hug.

“gonna miss you” she mumbled against your shoulder. you felt her tears dampening the fabric, and felt tears of your own start to fall.

“gonna miss you too” you whispered, squeezing her a bit closer. after a minute she pulled away, wiping her face quickly.

“text me when you guys get home” she said, sniffling. you all said goodbye before you and joel went back to the truck. silently you drove home, the hours passing as joel finally pulled up to your house. he got out, walking you up to your door. your mom wasn’t at home, which wasn’t unusual anymore since she started dating her new boyfriend.

“(y/n)?” he asked. you looked over at him, an understanding between both of you.

“hm?” you hummed, trying to compose yourself.

“don’t be a stranger. you need anything, you give me a call” he said gruffly, his hands in his pockets.

“thanks joel” you said, nodding. he pulled you into a quick hug, both of you trying not to cry.

-

a few months passed, with you mostly staying in an empty house. you had saved up enough money to finally move, and you were on the phone telling ellie while you packed your things.

“how’s it going?” you asked, placing some random books in a box.

“been staying busy with classes. made a few friends, i think you’d really like them.” she said, and you could almost hear her grin through the phone.

“tell me about them” you said, smiling as you listened to her describe them.

“well, i met jesse in my composition class. he’s a big goofball, super outgoing but definitely a bro. then i met dina in the dining hall, there wasn’t anywhere else to sit so she invited me to sit with her and a few other friends. she’s super cool. we all hang out to watch cheesy movies sometimes” she said. you felt a little jealous at the idea of being replaced, but you pushed it down with happiness that ellie wasn’t lonely.

“i’m glad you’re making friends” you said.

“miss your face though. when are you moving?” she asked, and you could hear her plop on her bed through the phone.

“by the end of this week. joel’s helping me move in. mom has been… mia.” you said. she sighed into the phone.

“sorry she’s been like that again. glad you’re getting outta there. how far will you be from here?” she asked. you looked at the map on your phone, typing it all in.

“an hour and a half” you sighed, wishing it was closer. with the rent pricing though, you couldn’t complain. it was a big city compared to where you were, with a lot more potential.

“damn” she said, sighing. a small silence fell between you.

“i miss you” you said, sitting down on your bed.

“i miss you too. promise you’ll visit soon?” she asked.

“of course i will... i’ll be staying there for a year, and maybe after that depending on what happens i can move closer” you said, despite knowing a lot could change in a year.

“good, miss seeing you. shit, dina and jesse are here. i’ll talk to you soon, okay?” she said, your heart aching at having to hang up so soon.

“yeah, have fun. bye” you said, hearing the other line go dead. you set your phone down, pushing your feelings to the side as you continued packing.

-

the week went by fast, and before you knew it you were standing in your new apartment. it was small, but it was home and you planned on making it feel like such. joel had just left, leaving you with some groceries and a few pieces of furniture he insisted on buying you as a move in gift. you sighed, getting started on unpacking as soon as possible. you had lined up a barista job at a cafe a few blocks away, figuring it would be enough to pay the thankfully cheap rent you had managed to come by. you felt nervous, but excited.

ellie had told you she’d call you on your first night there, but the hour grew later. by the time you heard from her, you were laying in your bed, your room only illuminated by the old movie playing on your television. your phone buzzed, and ellie’s name lit up on the screen. you groggily answered, having almost dozed off since it was past midnight.

“ellie?” you asked, hearing a party happening in the background.

“(y/n), i’m so sorry. i went to this party with dina and jesse and i just lost track of time! let me step outside really quick.” she semi shouted, before hearing the music and shouting fade a bit as she seemed to step out.

“it’s okay.” you said softly, despite the ache in your chest.

“how’s the first night there, move go alright?” she asked, that same raspy voice coming through that she got when she smoked.

“it was good, thankfully easy. it’s different, but not in a bad way. i wish you could come see it” you said, laying on your side.

“good, i’m glad. maybe i can get a ride over during fall break or something.” she said, sipping from a drink, sounding a bit high or tipsy or both.

“i’d like that.” you said softly, not having seen her in months.

“listen, i gotta go back in, but ill text you.” she said, and you felt the ache grow.

“sure, talk to you soon.” you said, barely getting your words out before she ended the call. you sighed, feeling like you wanted to cry but not being able to. you fell asleep, dreaming of ellie and the last day you spent together. it was a sweet memory, but something fading the more you grew apart.

-

a few months had passed, and summer had just started to cool down. the leaves started to slightly change in the small park you often read in, and a slight chill joined the air when you’d sit on your balcony and drink your nightly tea.

the job was going well, developing friends of your own but your friendship with ellie was slowly diminishing. the promised calls hadn’t happened since that night, and the texts were slowly coming less and less often. you knew she was probably busy with midterms, but joel had posted a picture of them during her fall break that she hadn’t told you was happening. you didn’t try to reach out, the effort being too much to try and keep going with no responses back.

you had just finished with your shift, and you wished your coworkers a good night before stepping into the chilly night air. you started the walk to your apartment, before feeling your phone vibrate in your pocket. you pulled it out, seeing ellie’s name light up.

“hello?” you asked, answering.

“hey, long time no talk” she said, a bit more cheerful than you expected.

“yeah” you mumbled, looking down as you spoke.

“listen, i’m sorry i’ve been kinda distant. midterms got crazy and i’ve been trying to really get the college experience, ya know?” she said, a bit more solemn than before.

“it’s cool, don’t worry. i’m glad it’s going well.” you said, still missing her despite the hurt feelings you pushed to the side.

“how’s your job going?” she asked.

“not bad, made some friends here. everyone’s really nice, and the job is pretty chill” you said, glad she was at least putting in effort to talk to you now.

“that’s good, i’m glad.” she said, sounding genuine.

“how’s everything been?” you asked.

“things are good. classes have been fun and i feel like i’m learning a lot. um, something did happen though, something a bit unexpected.” she said, suddenly sounding nervous.

“oh?”

“dina like, kinda kissed me at a party. we’re not like, dating officially or anything but i think i like her” she said. your heart fell, and you felt a lump form in the back of your throat.

“i’m glad” you said, trying not to choke on your words. you finally reached your apartment, hurrying in.

“she’s really nice, unexpected but in a nice way” she said, and you could hear her grinning through the phone.

“listen, i gotta go. i’m sorry” you said, before hanging up. you threw your bag on the couch before finally choking on a sob, all the hurt and jealousy overcoming you. you felt stupid, holding onto the idea that she’d actually want to be with you.

-

a few weeks passed, and you figured if ellie could find someone else than maybe you should move on and accept it. you had been working during a thunderstorm, the cafe dead inside. the door dinged as you wiped down the espresso machine, looking up to see a tall, muscular woman step in. her blonde hair was in braids, but soaked from the rain. she looked sheepish as she rubbed her shoes on the entry carpet, despite the rain dripping from her clothes onto the tile.

“terrible day to forget an umbrella, huh?” she joked, looking up at you with a grin.

“probably the worst, honestly.” you chuckled, walking to the register.

“hm, what would you recommend to someone who doesn’t really drink coffee? kinda just needed to get outta the rain for a minute.” she said sheepishly, looking over you. you flushed a bit at her intense gaze.

“in your case, probably something warm. i can make you my personal favorite” you said, looking up at her.

“perfect” she said, smiling at you.

“it’s on the house.” you said, before stepping away to make her drink before she could respond. you took the time while preparing her drink to calm down, feeling flustered. she was attractive, seemed put together, and the way she was looking at you definitely wasn’t just friendly.

“here.” you said softly, placing the cup in front of her. she smiled, picking it up and taking a sip.

“damn, thanks” she said, looking at you.

“so, if i wanted to repay you by, let’s say taking you out to dinner sometime, would you let me?” she asked.

“hmm, i guess that’s a fair repayment. but i might need your number in that case” you said, chuckling.

“smooth” she said, grinning as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. you typed your number in, saving your contact.

“see you around?” she asked, grabbing the coffee.

“mhm, see you” you said, watching as she stepped back out into the rain. you felt your cheeks, the warm skin slowly cooling back down as you processed what happened. she was sweet, but you couldn’t help but still think about ellie.

-

you and abby had grabbed dinner, started texting constantly, and had been on a few more dates. she was sweet, dedicated to her passions, and always took care of you. you hadn’t heard from ellie, which hurt but didn’t surprise you at this point.

“hey, you okay?” abby asked, pulling you out of your thoughts. she wiped a bit of cider from the corner of your lips, sucking it off her thumb. the gesture made you blush.

“yeah, sorry. just got lost in thought” you said, nodding as you continued walking with her. you had gotten dinner yet again, before walking around the closest park and grabbing some cider from a cafe nearby. the leaves were in their peak now, orange and red covering parts of the sidewalk.

“what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” she asked, her hand resting on the small of your back.

“nothing important. my place or yours?” you asked, looking up at her. usually your dates ended with watching a movie or talking at either of your apartments for hours. you had expressed this being your first time really dating anyone, so nothing had happened yet between you besides some hand holding. things were starting to feel a bit more serious recently though, and you didn’t mind it.

“we can head to yours, it’s close by” she said, both of you heading in that direction. you finally arrived at your apartment, unlocking the door and stepping in.

“wanna watch a movie?” you asked, and she nodded. you turned on a random movie, sitting on the couch next to her. she scooted close, her arm behind your shoulders. her fingers found your hair, playing with one of the strands. you felt a bit nervous, not sure if it was from the close contact or remembering the way ellie’s hands used to feel in your hair. the longer the movie went on, the closer you involuntarily got. before you knew it, the credits started rolling. you looked over at abby before realizing how close you were. your eyes flicked down to her lips briefly.

“can i kiss you?” she asked softly, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear. all you could do was nod. she cupped your cheek, her lips meeting yours in a gentle kiss. this was your first kiss, so it took a second to gain your bearings before you felt her lips move against yours.

“was that okay?” she whispered, pulling away.

“please kiss me again” you said softly, abby quickly obeying as she captured your lips into another kiss. this one was a bit more intense, a small moan escaping your lips as she pushed you back against the couch

-

when you woke up to your alarm, you felt a warm arm wrapped around your waist. you turned the alarm off, slipping out of abby’s tight grasp. she grumbled before turning onto her side, burrowing further into the blankets as you quietly got ready for work. since the night abby kissed you, she had asked you to be hers and found herself walking up at your apartment more frequently.

you still hadn’t heard from ellie in weeks, which stung but was something you knew you couldn’t dwell on. you had seen her post a few pictures of her and her friends, mostly dina. you had to stop looking when your hands started trembling seeing a picture of ellie with her arm around dina, pressing a kiss to the other girls cheek. abby helped distract you from these thoughts, her sweet gestures making you swoon.

“be back later” you whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead before leaving, locking the door behind you. you had been scheduled a short early morning shift, waking up before the sun even rose. you locked the door behind you, starting the short walk to work. you were about three minutes in when your phone vibrated. you looked, seeing a text from ellie.

‘miss uou’ it said, followed by a bit of gibberish.

‘are you drunk?’ you typed back, confused and a bit concerned. ellie had always been a smoker, but never much of a drinker or partier. you figured it was normal for college, but worried about how drunk she might be.

‘maybe’ she managed to type back

‘okay’ you typed back, sighing. you didn’t know what else to say. she hadn’t responded back to you in weeks, and you couldn’t just let that go.

the shift went by quickly, and by the time it was nine you were finally off. you stopped, grabbing breakfast for you and abby when your phone vibrated again.

‘i’m sorry’ was all you got back, making your chest ache.

‘we can talk when you’re not fucked up’ you typed back, putting your phone away with a sigh as you unlocked the door.

-

the weeks turned into months, and still no word from ellie. with the way things had gone, you decided pushing her and your feelings to the side was for the best. it wasn’t fair to abby for you to keep dwelling on it. leaves fell and soon so did snow.

it was your first winter in the city, and abby made sure to make it the best experience for you. she could tell you were feeling homesick, and after confiding in her about ellie and your ruined friendship she made sure you knew your worth. as much as you had wanted to go home for the holidays, you knew there wasn’t much to go back for. with ellie not talking to you, joel’s texts had also declined. he had at least wished you a happy holidays, but it just didn’t feel the same. you busied yourself with abby, throwing yourself into your relationship.

-

before you knew it, another year and a half went by. you were still with abby, and you still hadn’t heard from ellie. at this point she was finishing up her second year, and you had moved in with abby. you stayed at the cafe job, having been there for so long. still, you always felt like something was missing.

“hey, i’ll be home late tonight. don’t wait up for me” abby said, pressing a kiss to your cheek as she grabbed her work bag.

“love you” you said, washing your dishes from breakfast. today was one of your days off, and you planned on relaxing.

“love you” she said back, and then she was gone. the door shut behind her, leaving you alone with your thoughts. you sighed, looking around. abby had been having to work overtime at the office, and was coming home later and later. you were pulled from your thoughts when your phone dinged. you frowned, seeing if it was someone needing a shift covered or something.

‘hey’ the text read. it was from ellie. the last you had seen, she was still dating dina.

‘hey’ you eventually typed back, typing and deleting the message about five times before finally sending it.

‘can we call?’ she asked, making you nervous. you swallowed your pride.

‘sure’ you typed back. not even a second later, ellie’s contact popped up on the screen, your phone buzzing as she called.

‘hello?’ you spoke hesitantly as your answered.

‘hey’ she said back, that same raspy voice as always, just sounding the slightest bit more mature.

‘been a while.’ you said softly, almost pinching yourself thinking this was too good to be true.

‘listen, about that. i’m really sorry, (y/n). i was kind of a dick. maybe like, a major one at that.’ she said, and she sounded genuine.

‘i… why?’ you asked, hesitantly.

‘um, it really was my fault. dina had me wrapped up in this idea that i needed to leave the past behind to really get the college experience, and i ended up cutting a lot of things out of my life. i never stopped thinking about you. i miss you’ she said, sounding nervous.

‘i’ve missed you too. it’s been a weird few years without you’ you said, no longer able to ignore the ache in your chest.

‘where are you now, what have you been doing?’ she asked.

‘i’m still in the city. i moved in with my girlfriend, abby. what about you?’ you said.

‘oh shit, girlfriend? congrats! well, dina and i… we broke things off. it was a whole thing. i just finished up my second year, and should be able to graduate early next year. i’m heading back home for the summer, which is what made me think about reaching out. i’d love to see you’ she said, making you feel so tremendously happy.

‘i’d like that’ you said, not able to help the smile that grew on your lips.

-

a few weeks had passed since the call, and you and ellie had been texting and calling since. you shared a bit of what happened with abby, and she didn’t seem to mind. things had been a bit strange with her, but you didn’t think much of it until one night. while she was sleeping, her phone vibrated. she never got any late night texts usually, so when you saw a name you didn’t recognize pop up, you couldn’t help the small bubble of jealousy that formed in your chest. owen.

when she left that morning for work, you trusted your gut feeling when she said she’d be home late again. after you knew she usually got off, you took the subway to her work, heading into the office building. it was near empty at this point, a few of her coworkers recognizing you and greeting you in passing as they left. you quickly found her office, in which the door was closed. you stopped in your tracks when you heard the noise behind the door.

it was abby… and a man. they were both moaning, and you covered your mouth with your hand to hold back a gasp. this whole time, you knew she had an ex, but she never told you his name. this had to have been it. you left, quickly so she wouldn’t know you were there. you did the only thing you could think of as soon as you got home. you called ellie.

“hey, what’s up?” she asked, not expecting you to call.

“ellie, she… she’s cheating on me” you choked out. you heard her mumble curses under her breath, before hearing her keys jingle.

“i’m on my way. text me your address, i’ll be there as soon as i can” she said, without hesitating. she hung up and you gasped, trying to catch your breath from crying. you grabbed any bag of yours that you could, shoving your clothes and belongings in them. an hour and a half passed and before you knew it, you heard a knock on the door.

before you stood joel and ellie, holding some empty boxes and bags. she looked different, but in a good way. her hair was now cut into a choppy mullet, and she had gotten more fit. she looked at you concerned, pulling you into a tight hug, in which you couldn’t help but cry into her chest. she pulled back, wiping the tears from your face. joel pulled you into a hug next, ruffling your hair.

“come on, let’s get your stuff outta here. we got the truck and my car” ellie said, rubbing your back.

“i’m not sure when she’ll be home. i got most stuff packed up” you said, nervously as you looked at the pile of bags and things you had made. joel nodded, starting to get those things taken to his truck.

“that’s okay, we’ll figure it out.” ellie said, reassuring you. within thirty minutes, you had gotten all your stuff out. you took the key to the apartment off your keys, leaving it on the counter. you looked at everything one last time, making sure you had all your stuff.

“okay, i’m ready” you said, teary eyed but more composed.

-

a few weeks had passed, and it had honestly been nice being back home. being back home consisted of staying at joel’s with your stuff mostly piled in his garage, but he didn’t complain. if anything, you could tell he was glad you were both home and that you had reconnected. you and ellie had been inseparable since that day, and catching up on what had happened the past two years.

she had gotten so much better at art, she had already been good but this was next level. she had let you skim through her drawings, her cheeks flushing when you had found a few of yourself in there. you had been swimming in the lake near her house, sunbathing in the backyard, and stopping at the local ice cream shop every night and walking around town. it was nice, and it helped take your mind off abby.

“listen, i was thinking.” ellie said, fidgeting with her pencil as she drew in her notebook while you laid on a rock in the sun, the waves of the small lake lapping at the shore nearby.

“hm?” you hummed, opening an eye to peek at her.

“i was gonna get an off campus apartment for this last year… would you wanna move in with me?” she asked, looking down at you with those familiar green eyes.

“are you sure?” you asked, sitting up. you missed the way her eyes traveled down, eyeing the way your bikini top clung to your chest.

“yeah” she choked out, realizing what she was asking.

“only if you’re fine with it. it’s not like i had other plans” you said, grinning. she couldn’t help the smile that grew on her own face.

“perfect. it’s a nice town, i think you’ll like it” she said, returning to her drawing. you watched the way her eyes squinted, her nose scrunching up slightly as she erased a line. she glanced at you again, catching your gaze briefly before returning down to the page.

-

a few months had gone by, and you now lived with ellie. it was a small two bedroom house, about a ten minute walk for ellie from campus. you got a job at a bookstore there, using that to your advantage to read as much as you wanted during the slow hours when students weren’t flooding the store.

you guys were already comfortable with each other just like you had been before, so living together came easy. you had tried to teach her to cook, and in return she would teach you how to play the video games she frequently crashed out on. she wasn’t any good at cooking, but there was some progress if you squinted. while you cleaned up and made sure the apartment was nice, she’d pull her weight by buying groceries or leaving a little sandwich or snack she whipped up with a note when she’d leave for class.

it was like there was no time lost between the both of you, and you got to know ellie now that she had changed a bit. you could’ve sworn she almost got a little taller. she now had a tattoo that hadn’t been there before, started working out a bit more, and developed a bit more of an affinity for smoking. every now and then, if you guys went out to the bars or parties with her friends, she’d smoke a cigarette if she was drunk enough or offered. you watched as the smoke curled around her, leaving a tobacco scent on her flannel as she brushed her shoulder against yours.

tonight, you found yourself at the bars with her and her friends yet again. she had remained friends with dina, who was now dating jesse. despite the strange circumstances, they all three stayed good friends. a few other of her friends had joined, some people you had met once or twice. you sipped your drink as ellie cackled at a joke jesse made, watching them with a smile on your face. ellie was a few drinks in, but you only had one just so you could get her back home in one piece.

“say, you’ve known ellie the longest (y/n). any embarrassing stories you can tell us?” jesse asked, chuckling as ellie glared at him.

“oh boy, do i.” you said, grinning. ellie looked at you warningly, but you figured she was too drunk to care.

“but, i’m sure ellie would tell you herself if she wanted you to know.” you said, eliciting some protests and groans from your friends.

“besides, (y/n) and i have places to be. isn’t that right?” ellie asked, a sloppy smirk on her face. you could tell she was ready to go, and that was something you were fine with.

“yeah yeah. we’ll see you guys around” dina said, grinning as everyone else said their goodbyes. you and ellie walked shoulder to shoulder, the late summer night air humid around you. the sidewalk was quiet and dark, only illuminated by a few street lights as you walked in a comfortable silence.

“you could’ve told them anything, if you really wanted to.” ellie said softly, looking over at you.

“yeah, but you’re drunk and i didn’t wanna spill all your secrets.” you said, nudging her with your elbow.

“you really are too good, you know that?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“hey, you’re just saying that cause you’re drunk.” you said with a small laugh. ellie stopped walking, catching you off guard. you stopped, looking back at her with concern.

“you okay? feel sick?” you asked, frowning.

“it’s true though. you’re always putting yourself down, i wish you wouldn’t.” she said, catching you off guard again.

“hey, come on. let’s get you home.” you said, grabbing her hand and pulling her along. she stayed quiet till you reached the porch of your guys place. she stopped, holding your hand.

“sit with me” she said, taking a seat on the steps. you sighed but obliged, having to haul ellie in would be too much work. she was heavier than she looked, all lanky muscle.

“you okay?” you asked, looking over at her, your cheeks flushing once you realized how close you were.

“i am now.” she said softly, her eyes traveling across your face.

“you’re drunk.” you said, trying to downplay the beating in your chest. you swear she could hear how loud it was.

“so?” she asked, reaching up to tuck hair behind your ear. you flushed, her hand warm and calloused.

“you’re so confusing sometimes.” you whispered, searching her expression. her freckled cheeks were pink, probably from the alcohol. her black tank top showed off her arms, her tattoo that you wanted to trace so badly, her freckled shoulders that were still sunburnt from your days on the lake.

“how so?” she asked, a playful grin on her lips as she tilted her head.

“i can never tell what you’re thinking.” you said softly, not able to stop from glancing briefly at her lips.

“how about i show you what im thinking?” she asked, her tongue wetting her lips. before you could answer you felt her hand come up, cupping your cheek. her thumb brushed the skin gently before she leaned in, pressing her lips to yours in a hesitant kiss. she tasted like beer and spearmint, but before you could do anything she pulled away.

“sorry.” she mumbled, searching your face for what you were thinking.

“do you know how long i’ve been wanting you to do that?” you breathed out, your hand coming up to cup hers, your fingers lacing together.

“are you serious?” she asked, almost in disbelief.

“please tell me you’re not just drunk right now.” you said softly. she shook her head, pulling you into another kiss.

-

you sat next to joel, watching as ellie walked across the stage. she took her diploma, finding you in the crowd and grinning. you laughed, clapping with the rest of the audience as she walked back down to her seat. once the ceremony was over, you and joel found ellie out in the parking lot. she ran to you and pulled you into a big hug, spinning you around.

“congrats, kiddo.” joel said, patting ellie on the shoulder.

“show us!” you said, grinning. she opened her diploma, almost looking at it in disbelief that she actually did that.

“damn, thanks for keeping my ass in check.” she said, chuckling as she pressed a kiss to your cheek. you looked up to see joel snapping a picture on his phone, smiling like a proud dad.

“alright you two, let’s get dinner before the crowd beats us.” he said, grinning.

“i love you, (y/n).” she said, pressing a chaste kiss to your lips.

“i love you too, ellie.” you said, lacing your fingers with hers.