Silent Reverie

Sleep is amazing, it’s like getting a free trial of being dead every night

Vampires suck your blood to get Vitamin D because they can’t go out in the sun themselves. Ever think about that? No. Because you only think of yourself.

are you fucking for real

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

Later

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

date idea: take me to a cemetery so we can go row by row in the oldest sections and whisper kind words to the graves who haven’t gotten visitors for decades

Naughty kids can easily take revenge on Santa by burning the coal and contributing to the destruction of his habitat via the greenhouse effect

when i take off my wig, lashes, take a makeup wipe to my face, unstuff my bra AND untuck 

why are people even questioning obesity in america

why is your tea liquidised?

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[skeletons ooh-ing]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

#INTO THE HARBOR

Englad doesn’t own anything

except that time we owned most of the world

LMAO ^

😂😂😂😂

They both know they got too much money to be blowing bubbles

no house

just avocado

“money can’t buy happiness” is such a baby boomer concept like…. I don’t want excessive wealth to buy a golf plated toilet seat Karen, I just wish I wasn’t crying because I can’t afford both spaghetti and rent after working 40 hours a week

Looking at the notes I guess y'all are poor too huh