WHY ARE HOCKEY FICS SO GOOD?????

oooh. I think this would be an AU - I’m thinking one where Patrick has sworn off dating after a string of bad breakups. He’s so serious about it, he makes a really significant bet with Sharpy to ensure he sticks to it. Sharpy, of course, wants to do anything he can to make Patrick break - including hiring someone to pretend to be everything Patrick is looking for. He gets his old hockey buddy, Jonny, to reluctantly agree to do it. 

I love this one team and they are all my precious babies.

I love this team but fuck that one guy that got traded here, he’s the white crayon.

I love many teams and I don’t even care if they’re rivals.

I like a bunch of players from all the teams.

I like a single player from a bunch of teams.

I like goalie but honestly, fuck the team.

I like this player but he got traded to a team I hate so now I love/hate him.

I hate all the teams but like one player. He’s the pink starburst.

Chicago Blackhawks only.

I love this team but the coach needs to be fired.

I don’t really like hockey but these dudes are hot.