Rose's writing

Title: Fading Nightmares Summary: “Bury us in the same coffin. John has nightmares and I don’t want him to sleep alone”

Title: Ya'aburnee Summary: You Bury Me.

Title: Not Exactly Location, Location, Location Summary: Sherlock and John go house hunting for the perfect place to retire in Sussex.

Title: 404 Error: File Not Found Summary: Sherlock leaves himself notes around the house to remind him to remember.

Title: Trimmed and Burning Summary: Sherlock waits for 18 months.

Title: The Good Old Days Summary: How did it get so late?

Title: Harddrive Summary: John dies tragically (on a case?) and Sherlock *feels* for the first time - anguish and guilt. He can’t stand it, so he tries to delete John from his hard-drive. He can’t.

Title:  Alone On The Water Summary: Inoperable. Deep. Intracranial pressure. Terribly sorry. Options. Arrangements.

Title: I’ll Lie Down With the Bees (and I’ll Wait For You Here) Summary: John’s final wish.

Title: Epilogue Summary: John would shield Sherlock from anything if he had to. Even if that meant protecting him from the truth.

Title: Trimmed And Burning Summary:  If one is particular about details and semantics, the first time Sherlock waits it is for three days.

Title: 5 Times Sherlock Was Confused and 1 Time He Wasn’t Summary: As Sherlock ages, his mind starts to fog, but one thing he never forgets. (Death fic)

Title: Without You Summary: Lestrade will not (cannot) tell him what they found.

Title: A Chronology in Unfinished-ness Summary: John and Sherlock having a perfect date and John realizing, at the end, that it’s the first date that’s gone to plan since they started dating. The problem with that realization? They started dating over thirty years ago, been married for ten, and have been retired for three. Yet every single date they’ve been on has either been cut short, interrupted, turned into an assassination attempt/chase the criminal/solve a murder, or otherwise flopped.

Title: Operating  System Summary: Sherlock’s mind is his hard drive.

Title: John Watson Does Not See Ghosts Summary: It’s been six months since he’s had to wash blood off of himself in this shower, since he’s had to wring blood out of clothes in this sink, the sort of things a normal person would never miss.

Title: Musical Pastures Summary: Music is what brought together the souls and hearts of those that mattered.

Title: Waking You Up Summary: John dies and Sherlock blames himself, so much so that the guilt begins to affect his life. However he keeps getting dreams of John talking to him and assuring he’s not dead.

Title: The Allure of the English Countryside Summary: “Everybody is leaving London,” John said behind his paper.

Title: The Ghost of John Summary: The day John Watson died was when Sherlock started to fall in love with him.

Title: Six, Six, Six Summary: John’s bones aren’t what they used to be. It’s difficult now, going through the motions of making tea, getting the newspaper, fixing some breakfast. His joints tend to complain almost constantly and his leg - well, the limp is most certainly not psychosomatic these days.

Title: Practical Johnkeeping Summary: Sherlock predicts nectar flow the same way he deduces a murder, but he harvests the honey like John coddles the dog.

Title: Sunshine Summary: Sherlock lives on without his heart, surviving on the memory of a promise.

Title: Romeo Summary: John struggles with his demons for six months before coming to terms with the only way he can ever recover from Sherlock’s loss.

Title: Last Letter Summary: Sherlock hesitated for a long time as he stood in Mycroft’s office, turning the envelope over and over in his gloved hands.

Title: A Hole in the Heart Summary: Sherlock makes a decision, and copes in the only way he knows how. The world cracks and fractures and tiny bits of it shift, ever so slightly, then fall back into place. The picture that’s left behind is Sherlock Holmes, fixed.

Title: A Bit Not Good Summary: The thing is, John Watson wasn’t supposed to leave him behind.

Title: Battle Stratagem for the Domesticated British Male Summary: Age happens. This is not Sherlock’s area.

Title: On Retirement Summary: It’s when John doesn’t run as fast as Sherlock remembered that he first thinks the word “retirement”.

Title: Grow Old With Me Summary: John and Sherlock go house-hunting for a retirement cottage.

Title: Stay Summary: Retirement wasn’t quite what they’d expected. For one thing, they hadn’t been in the same room for two years.

Title: In the Springtime When the Bees are Buzzing Summary:

“Are you allergic to bees?”

John blinked a few times, used to such odd and unexpected questions after twenty years of marriage. “No.”

“Good. How do you feel about Sussex?”

Title: Six Epiphanies Summary:

Six birthdays of Sherlock Holmes.

1985, 1987, 2006, 2013, 2014, 2035.

Title: Genus: Apis Summary: A series of snapshots of Sherlock’s and John’s partnership over the years.

Title: my star is fading Summary: He forgets gradually, but not entirely. Sherlock knows he will dream of John until the day he too falls asleep and does not wake.

Title: Bees and the Country Summary: A passage of time through which Sherlock Holmes learns to love and let go, hurt and grieve, and eventually find everything he ever hoped for.

Title: Through the Clouds Summary: Sherlock takes a remarkably early retirement at 47, and convinces John that a change of pace would do them both good. They buy an old cottage on the South Downs, and exchange their nonstop life in Baker Street for quiet contemplation, bee studies, and book writing.

Title: What She Saw Summary: There were several theories as to how Sherlock would react to John’s death. But Molly didn’t theorize. She saw.

Title: And Let The Well Run Dry Summary: Mycroft is wrong. It doesn’t even take six months.

Title: To The Very Best of Times, John Summary: Sherlock is a retired bee keeper in Sussex and John lives in London, with Mary and his two kids - Louise and William. And they haven’t spoken in 7 months and 18 days. And sometimes heartbreak can kill people.

Title: the bees remember Summary: He goes out to the hives in the late afternoon, holding one of Sherlock’s scarves in his hands.

Title: Telling the Bees Summary: “When the beekeeper dies, the bees must be told…”

Title: The Whole of the Moon Summary: Love does not make life easier, John learns. Better, just not easier.

Title: Battersea Bridge Summary: A life without John Watson isn’t a life worth living.

Title: His Last Vow Summary: After fifty years of being with Sherlock, John knows his time has come.

Title: Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour Summary: After being together for over twenty years, John and Sherlock need to get out of their normal lives to realise what they had been neglecting for a long time - each other.

Title: Fine Print Summary: Holmes needs glasses, but he’s too much of a stubborn arse to go get his eyes checked. Watson is used to bullying him for his own good. The glasses have unexpected but not unwelcome consequences for everyone.

Title: A New Kind of Normal Summary: “You’ll get bored.” It had been John’s only argument when Sherlock mentioned retiring, selling the flat and moving himself and John to the country, leaving it to the next generation of hopeless imbeciles to become consulting detectives and consulting detective’s bloggers.

Title: Milestone Summary: Sherlock heads to the mall in search of a gift for John’s 60th birthday, it all goes according to plan…of course not.

Title: Keeping Bees Summary: Sherlock is ready to retire and John prays he won’t get bored.

Title: Of all sad words, the saddest are these Summary: “Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these, ‘It might have been.” ? John Greenleaf Whittier

Title: Stay Summary: Retirement wasn’t quite what they’d expected. For one thing, they hadn’t been in the same room for two years.

Title: Like Fine Wine Summary: John gazes out at his garden, colourful and vibrant and very bee-friendly, at Sherlock’s insistence. John loves it. Sherlock loves it. The bees love it. John hates the bees. Sherlock loves the bees. John loves Sherlock. And Sherlock loves John.

Title: Second Waltz Summary: “I wish you could wait for me,” Sherlock whispered, and it sounded so broken and hopeful at once that John’s heart clenched.

Title: Forget Me Not Summary: Sherlock losing his memory was the last thing John expected, but he’s determined to make the best of a situation he’d never planned for.

Title: Humdingers and Melancholies Summary: Who would have guessed that John would be the one who struggled with retirement?

Title: Married Life Summary: Being married to Sherlock Holmes was going to be a lot different to just living with him. Which was ridiculous really, as Sherlock insisted vehemently that marriage would change absolutely nothing.

sure sure!!!

Sherlock and lestrade will go on drives outside of London because lestrade realized that Sherlock is calm during car rides out in the country and Sherlock claims its boring but it’s something about the ride itself that is calming

Plus they just both love to be together and so it’s the fun of doing that with each other

When John sees Sherlock for the first time after the two years, he doesn’t right away get angry or relieved. Instead he gets scared as hell, because he can’t believe his eyes. His eyes are lying.

Sherlock is dead + I see Sherlock standing in front of me = I’m delusional.

The real person in this absurd and scary situation is Mary. So he turns to Mary, to check what he should do. Does Mary see the same as I see?

It’s almost a casual look. It looks like he could just ignore the vision of Sherlock if it seemed like Mary doesn’t see him at all. Maybe he wishes it’s just an illusion. Maybe it would have been easier. But what he sees when he looks at Mary is this:

Mary sees him as well. She confirms Sherlock is real.

I see Sherlock in front of me + I am not delusional = Sherlock is not dead.

Sherlock is not dead.

So many prompts are about the meet-cute. So this list is meant to go straight to the good parts. Please use, prompt, share, add to, etc.

I have you shoved against the wall but now I can’t stop looking at your mouth

We were dancing but all of a sudden it’s a slow song and we’re standing here awkwardly staring at each other

I just told you I liked you but now I’m shy and say “never mind, forget it” and why are you looking at me like that?

We slept in the same bed for space reasons but now we’re just waking up and there’s something about your bleary eyes and mussed hair

It’s time to fight the boss and if I don’t tell you now, I might not live to tell you

Congratulations! One of your dreams has finally come true. Let me give you a big hug and wow, you’re warm…

I’ve never seen anything like the way you handled that. I’m just so moved.

Oh, my God, I thought you were going to die. Please don’t ever scare me like that again.

We’re hiding from the authorities and it’s very close quarters in here, I can feel your body against mine.

Wait, my hero’s secret identity is… you? To be honest, I’d always kind of hoped…

You’ve said you’re going to leave, but I don’t want you to go and if I don’t say something now…

We were pretending to be lovers but I’m not pretending anymore and I have to know if you feel the same way

Do an outline, whatever way works best. Get yourself out of the word soup and know where the story is headed.

Conflicts and obstacles. Hurt the protagonist, put things in their way, this keeps the story interesting. An easy journey makes the story boring and boring is hard to write.

Change the POV. Sometimes all it takes to untangle a knotted story is to look at it through different eyes, be it through the sidekick, the antagonist, a minor character, whatever.

Know the characters. You can’t write a story if the characters are strangers to you. Know their likes, dislikes, fears, and most importantly, their motivation. This makes the path clearer.

Fill in holes. Writing doesn’t have to be linear; you can always go back and fill in plotholes, and add content and context.

Have flashbacks, hallucinations, dream sequences or foreshadowing events. These stir the story up, deviations from the expected course add a feeling of urgency and uncertainty to the narrative.

Introduce a new mystery. If there’s something that just doesn’t add up, a big question mark, the story becomes more compelling. Beware: this can also cause you to sink further into the mire.

Take something from your protagonist. A weapon, asset, ally or loved one. Force him to operate without it, it can reinvigorate a stale story.

Twists and betrayal. Maybe someone isn’t who they say they are or the protagonist is betrayed by someone he thought he could trust. This can shake the story up and get it rolling again.

Secrets. If someone has a deep, dark secret that they’re forced to lie about, it’s a good way to stir up some fresh conflict. New lies to cover up the old ones, the secret being revealed, and all the resulting chaos.

Kill someone. Make a character death that is productive to the plot, but not “just because”. If done well, it affects all the characters, stirs up the story and gets it moving.

Ill-advised character actions. Tension is created when a character we love does something we hate. Identify the thing the readers don’t want to happen, then engineer it so it happens worse than they imagined.

Create cliff-hangers. Keep the readers’ attention by putting the characters into new problems and make them wait for you to write your way out of it. This challenge can really bring out your creativity.

Raise the stakes. Make the consequences of failure worse, make the journey harder. Suddenly the protagonist’s goal is more than he expected, or he has to make an important choice.

Make the hero active. You can’t always wait for external influences on the characters, sometimes you have to make the hero take actions himself. Not necessarily to be successful, but active and complicit in the narrative.

Different threat levels. Make the conflicts on a physical level (“I’m about to be killed by a demon”), an emotional level (“But that demon was my true love”) and a philosophical level (“If I’m forced to kill my true love before they kill me, how can love ever succeed in the face of evil?”).

Figure out an ending. If you know where the story is going to end, it helps get the ball rolling towards that end, even if it’s not the same ending that you actually end up writing.

What if? What if the hero kills the antagonist now, gets captured, or goes insane? When your write down different questions like these, the answer to how to continue the story will present itself.

Inspired by a ficlet from @mazarin221b and conversation with @bakerstmel, I offer my submission to the (Bumping) Ugly Duvet Challenge. Shamefully I have made mine nearly 4K which is a record for me. It’s the shortest fic i have ever written. 

“And this is your room, Sherlock,” Mrs. Watson opens the door to reveal a small bedroom adorned with ruffles and rainbows.

Sherlock sets his jaw and does not even blink. “Splendid.”

John side-glances the detective with surprise. He knows that insults and bellows of disgust are bouncing off the walls of Sherlock’s mind palace.

“I’ve preserved Harriet’s room perfectly,” Mrs. Watson beams from the threshold.

“Quite a tribute.” Sherlock nods tightly.

Mrs. Watson pats Sherlock’s arm affectionately. “I’ll let you settle in. I’m so glad you’re spending Christmas with us.”

Mrs. Watson shuffles down the hall to descend the stairs and attend to her pies.

“You don’t have to stay in here. You can take my room,” John offers.

Sherlock takes one step back to fully appreciate the grandeur of the bedroom - from the plush azure rug, frilled bedspread littered with bright rainbows, and arched canopy with even more rainbows. A young Harriet Watson once had lain in this small twin bed to sleep under an avalanche of crescent colours.

“I would have never envisioned this,” Sherlock murmurs.

“Harry blamed all these rainbows for making her a lesbian,” John cracks.

“I’m surprised she didn’t go blind. It’s so bright.” Sherlock squints against the colours.

John nods his head down the hall. “Come on, my room is that way and a bit less garish.”

John’s room is entirely in shades of navy blue and grey. In between two bronze rugby statues lay a red ribbon adorned with a pewter medal. On one wall, a football player is in mid kick with sweat glistening on his arms and legs, while above the bed a buxom, scantily clad woman straddles the sand as waves break behind her.

When Sherlock glances back to John, he finds his doctor blushing.

“Two things I obsessed over - Elle McPherson and David Beckham.” John shrugs lightly.

“Which was your favourite?”

John rubs the back of his neck nervously. “Depended on the day. Come on, mum’s got supper on.”

Both Sherlock and John had felt the boundaries of their relationship shift in recent weeks. Nothing dangerous had precipitated to draw them closer, just two people slowly awakening to their attraction and importance to each other. Lingering glances and touches had fueled warmth blossoming across cheeks. Many times, Sherlock had opened his mouth to address it once and for all. Just to lay his heart on the table and get it out in the open. But the moment would always disappear, along with his courage.

John had never expected Sherlock to accept his casual invitation to spend Christmas with Mrs. Watson and her new paramour. He nearly fell over when Sherlock had looked up casually from his paper and agreed to go. Now John is watching him inspect and privately deduce his childhood.

After supper, Mrs. Watson pulls out the photo album, and John’s cheeks turn a deep magenta. John observes his mum pouring over pages and pages of his youth with a rapt Sherlock Holmes. Those iridescent aqua eyes smile honestly as Mrs. Watson tells a tale for each page. The laugh that escapes from those sinful lips is hearty and open. As a flush creeps up from the open vee of Sherlock’s shirt and spreads to his cheek, John’s navy sweater somehow becomes incredibly stuffy.

Mrs. Watson pours everyone a healthy glass of sherry as they lounge in the cozy sitting room. Maybe it’s the wine or the way the twinkling Christmas lights are reflected in John’s light hair, but Sherlock crosses his legs and hums with contentment. If this is what the common folk call domestic bliss, he approves. He even delights as Mrs. Watson’s paramour (was his name Barry?) and John exchange stories from the service.

“Good night, boys,” Mrs. Watson calls up the stairs. “Happy Christmas!”

“Happy Christmas, Mum.” John pauses at the top of the stairs.

“Happy Christmas, Mrs. Watson.” Sherlock nods.

John’s mum slips down the hall leaving Sherlock and John to shuffle their feet and avoid direct contact.

“Well, good night. I hope Elle isn’t too distracting.” John offers a shy grin.

“You may need a sleep mask to dim the brightness of that room.” Sherlock gestures to the rainbow happiness just beyond the threshold.

“Maybe I’ll just use a pillow. No snooping around for your present either. I have it well hidden,” John says.

Sherlock’s lips twitch in an almost smirk. “It’s somewhere under the rainbow mattress.”

John huffs in frustration. “How did you know?” He looks at Sherlock closely. “And did you just make a pop reference?”

Sherlock rolls his eyes. “What kind of childhood do you think I had that I would not know Wizard of Oz?”

With a laugh, John shakes his head. “You never fail to amaze me. Do you know what your gift is?”

“Well,” Sherlock clasps his hands behind his back. “I know it’s an old book. Most likely a first edition and possibly signed by the author.”

John groans.

Sherlock raises his hand. “I could deduce what book, but why ruin the surprise?”

The warmth of the smile resting on Sherlock’s lips goes directly to John’s cock.

“Good.” He clears his throat. “Then…” John looks all around Sherlock, afraid to look into his eyes directly. “Happy Christmas, Sherlock. I’m glad you’re here.” He extends an awkward hand.

“So am I, John. Good night.” Sherlock’s fingers wrap around John’s hand and give him a small squeeze before letting go.

- - -

Just as John finally drifts to the outer edge of consciousness, he hears the bedroom door creak. It’s probably his mum’s tabby. The bloody fat thing likes to try to jump on top of the canopy. He blinks against the streetlights that stream through the window and across his pillow. His mum’s bloody neighbours leave their blinking Christmas display on all night. The thin curtains in Harry’s room barely mute the garish display.

The door creaks again. This time he grabs a stuffed unicorn to toss at the cat. Rolling over with his arm raised, he sees Sherlock framed by the door.

“You’re going to assault me with a stuffed magical creature?” Sherlock whispers.

“I thought you were the cat.” John drops the unicorn on the floor. “Is something wrong?”

Sherlock hesitates a moment before stepping through the threshold. “It occurred to me that I should give your Christmas present to you.”

John props himself up on his elbows and squints at the glowing red numbers on the alarm clock on the white dresser across the room.  "And you needed to do this at two in the morning?“

“Yes, carried by wine and Christmas spirit, yes. Now.” Sherlock’s voice is strong, yet a layer of uncertainty lurks underneath.

He has John’s attention now. The streetlights illuminate the heaving of Sherlock’s bare chest. He pulls himself up to sit upright. His eyes take in the stunning figure of Sherlock padding over barefoot in only pyjama bottoms to stand beside the bed.

“What is it, Sherlock? You’re scaring me a bit,” John says.

Blinking rapidly as if he’s just come out a trance, Sherlock takes a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realise the time.”

John reaches out to grab his arm. “You’ve come all this way…”

“Really just down the hall. Barely more than a few yards…” Sherlock is losing nerve and his buzz. What had seemed like a grand idea while staring at the footballer on John’s wall has become a mess. This is why he doesn’t do relationships or anything intimate.

“Sherlock, why are you here?” John asks gently.

“Right, to give you my Christmas present.” Sherlock nods and searches for the courage he had possessed ten minutes ago.

John’s mouth waters as the neighbor’s blinking Christmas display paints Sherlock’s pale torso in red and green. He’s seen Sherlock in various stages of undress. The man has absolutely no sense of boundaries or modesty. But in this moment, he seems unsure and timid. Sherlock’s fingers worry at his pyjamas. He takes a deep breath.

“I have never been so bold with another person. My experience with intimacy is limited to nothing, really. I can only give you what I’ve never given anyone before, and that is myself.” Sherlock straightens himself before John’s gaze. Even in the dark, he’s certain that his heart pounds hard enough to been seen. While he knows that is physiologically impossible, he feels as exposed as as a lab animal during a dissection.

“Sherlock,” John whispers. He cannot form words that could ever convey how much his chest wants to burst open.

Biting his lower lip, Sherlock’s nerve begins to crumble as the silence stretches beyond thirty seconds. “I might have misjudged the situation. I apologise for waking you. I can leave first thing in the morning to avoid…”

John kneels on the bed and reaches for Sherlock’s arm. “Don’t you dare leave. You crazy, amazing man. Come here.”

John pulls Sherlock into his arms. Sliding one hand into those impossible curls, he tilts Sherlock’s face to his.

“I want this more than you could ever possibly imagine.”

Under a canopy of thirty two rainbows, bright polka dots and endless ruffles, John’s lips meet Sherlock with a soft press and a pause to make certain that this not just a dream. It is Sherlock that surges forward to crush his mouth to John’s. He searches for the other man’s tongue as it it held the secret to life and death.

“Hmm,” Sherlock mumbles while exploring all sides of John’s mouth. He finds he doesn’t care about the wine and sleep stale breath.

The sensation of John’s hand tightening in his hair shoots straight to between his legs. He realises he needs to do something with his hands. They wrestle with the hem of John’s vest, hungry to touch skin.

“Slow down…” John murmurs.

With ragged breath, Sherlock rests his forehead against John’s. “I don’t want to take it slow. I’ve waited so bloody long. I want it all. I want to give it all,” he glances up, “in this ridiculous bed. I want every inch of you memorised on this blessed holiday.”

“Jesus,” John mutters before plunging his tongue between those delicious lips and pulling Sherlock against his body. An electric shock shoots through his body when a very prominent erection presses into his hip.

Of course their first evening together would be fevered passion in his sister’s twin bed. Nothing about their relationship has ever followed any kind of convention. John couldn’t be happier for that - even the awkward start and stop dance they’ve done for years.

Reluctantly, John pulls back to look at Sherlock’s swollen mouth. Christ, it is so obscene that he could come from staring at it too long.

“Stop pulling away,” Sherlock’s voice rumbles roughly.

“I’m trying to slow us down. This isn’t just tonight, right? You want this to be… permanent?” John asks.

Sherlock’s eyes widen. “Of course. I’m not the one for one night stands…”

“Hey, a man has needs. And when he can’t get them from his seemingly uninterested but gorgeous as hell flatmate, he has to get by.” John kisses the frown from Sherlock’s face. “I want it all too. No need to rush.”

The hunger in Sherlock’s eyes tosses John off kilter. He’s certain that no matter what words of experience he’s to offer, Sherlock will still swallow him whole.

The lithe detective climbs onto the bed and pins John, staring ravenously. “I know we can wait, but I have waited for years to feel this alive and to want to give another person everything. I crave connection.”

Sherlock’s voice is incredibly husky and drips with sin. John takes a deep breath so he can offer one final pause before he dives into Sherlock’s alabaster skin.

“You’ve never done this, have you? You want…"John searches for the right words.

Slinking over John’s body, long fingers slip under a sweat dampened shirt. “I want penetration, to feel the blood thrum through you. Let me belong to you.”

Any reservations John had harboured fly out through the lacy rainbow curtains. He sheds his shirt and pulls Sherlock on top of him in a messy crush of mouths, teeth and skin. Pornographic sighs and moans fill the tiny room. John pitches his hips to grind against Sherlock.

“Do that again,” Sherlock moans.

John adjusts so that their pajama clad erections are lined up then thrusts upward. His hands plant on the firm globes of Sherlock’s arse and slowly moves against him. The high pitched groan that escapes from Sherlock is surprising and endearing.

“Sorry,” Sherlock mumbles in embarrassment.

“No, you sound and feel amazing.” John nips at Sherlock’s long neck.

“Christ.” Sherlock props up on one arm and pushes his pyjamas to his knees with his free hand. “Please let me feel you.”

He doesn’t have to ask twice before John is kicking his shorts and pants over the side of the bed to join Sherlock’s plaid bottoms on the plush blue rug .

Slowly, Sherlock lowers himself between John’s thighs. He feels the heat from John’s skin radiate and with the first press of skin on skin contact, he gasps.

“You feel amazing.” John runs his hands across Sherlock’s shoulders, then down his back to grip his arse.

“Why did we take so long to do this?” Sherlock’s lips move against John’s shoulder.

“I didn’t think you wanted this. Your body is just transport. You barely feed it, so I didn’t think giving it pleasure was important.” John shrugs lightly.

“Until you, it never was. My body never craved those things until you arrived. Now it is all I can think about. My mind palace has turned into one of those videos you try to delete from your browser.” Sherlock moves his hips against John. The coarse hairs of John’s pelvis tickle and excite Sherlock’s sensitive head.

“God, Sherlock.” John thrusts up against Sherlock’s abdomen. He removes his hands from that  perfect arse to run them through the soft curls, before bringing their lips together again.

The sensation of John’s hot and damp skin pulling and sliding over his is too much. Breaking away to catch his breath, Sherlock  blinks to get get himself under control. “Hold on. I am very aroused presently, and my scrotum is tightening…I don’t want to ejaculate too soon.”

The words come out in a rush causing John to chuckle lightly. “Okay, but I’d bet you’d recover soon. Though, I think you coming would push me over the edge and I’m not a young man anymore.”

There is something about John’s wet fringe clinging to his face that makes Sherlock shirk off self control and devour his mouth again. He moves one hand between them to touch John’s cock, hard and hot against his palm.

Wrapping his fingers around the flushed member, he peers at John’s head thrown back in ecstasy. “Is this good?”

“Oh very good, too good. All the good,” John gasps.

With his hand still wrapped around John, Sherlock grinds his hips against him. His own cock brushes against his knuckles and his hands and hips move in time.

The wooden frame rattles as they thrust and move together. The canopy frame sways, causing the ruffled fabric to flutter and metal to squeak. Too suddenly, Sherlock stills and props himself up.

“This absurd bed is making too much noise. Your mother has to know exactly what is occurring in here,” Sherlock pants. “Maybe we should…”

John pushes the damp curls from Sherlock’s eyes. “Do you want to stop?”

“God no,” Sherlock moans.

“Then Sherlock, I swear if you don’t get inside me, I will die. I have been ready for this for so long. I want it all - the madness and mayhem. I want troubles and complications. I want bad morning breath to kiss me, and I want to take you on every surface of Baker Street when we get home. But please, do not stop. I want everything tonight. Now.” John pushes up for a bruising kiss that scrapes Sherlock’s top lip with his teeth. That unleashes a positively feral growl from the back of Sherlock’s throat that John feels all the way to his balls.

“John, I’ve never done that…to anyone. I wouldn’t know what to do.” Sherlock’s hips cant against John slowly.

A small smile plays at the corners of John’s lips. “Perfect, my sister says she lost her virginity under these silly rainbows. I’ve never had anal sex, or at least not like this. No one has ever been inside me, and Jesus Christ, Sherlock, I want it to be you  - only you.”

Sherlock attacks his mouth again. He could live on the tip of John’s tongue - christ the things that muscle could do. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It won’t hurt for long, not when it’s you.” John presses her forehead to Sherlock’s. “Don’t make me beg, Holmes.”

It’s Sherlock’s turn to grin. “If you do, I most certainly won’t last.” His face falls serious a moment later. “But your mother…”

“Sleeps like the dead. How do you think Harry got a terrible reputation at school? She shagged half the girls in her class in this bed,” John says.

Sherlock raises an eyebrow. “On these sheets?”

“The very ones I’m about to shag you rotten on. Now switch positions with me.” John commands.

- - - -

Sherlock throws his head back against the baby powder scented pillow to focus on the rainbows overhead  - and not coming too soon. As John’s body surrounds his cock, it takes everything he has to not thrust up into the welcoming heat. Nothing, not even cocaine, has ever felt this good. He could watch his cock disappear into John every night for as long as they both lived.

“Okay?” Sherlock’s voice trembles.

John opens his eyes to reveal nothing but lustful longing. “I can’t wait until you know what it feels like to have your lover fill you completely.”

Lover. John has called Sherlock his lover. No signed first edition will ever be better than those words.

“Can I move? Are you hurting?”

John plants his knees on either side of Sherlock. “Let me move first.”

With a slight roll of his hips, John sees rainbows explode behind his eyelids. In this position, Sherlock hits exactly the right spot. Tentatively, he moves again and again until he hears a muffled moan below him. When he opens his eyes, Sherlock’s face is contorted in pain, or pleasure - John can’t be certain.

“Do you want to move?” John pants.

His eyes pop open. “Can I? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m feeling many things and none of them is pain. God, take me….do what you feel.” His finger traces a hard nipple eliciting a hiss from Sherlock’s lips.

Strong fingers grab John’s hips, and slowly Sherlock thrusts up into him. The stretch burns, but when Sherlock brushes his prostate, everything is bliss. He moves against the rhythm slowly at first, then matching Sherlock’s increasing speed.

“Oh God, John,” Sherlock moans loudly.

The headboard crashes against the garish yellow wall every time their bodies meet. The room is filled with the scent of the cucumber melon perfumed lotion liberally used for lubrication.

Sherlock isn’t certain how much longer he can last. Just watching John writhe above him with his neck and chest mottled with bites and nips caused by his own mouth is enough to bring on  his orgasm. John slides back and forth on Sherlock so hard they could very well break the bed.

“I’m so close,” John chokes out. “Touch me.”

Sherlock looks at John’s red cock bobbing with every thrust. He’s not sure what inspires him, but Sherlock licks his right hand, then wraps it firmly around him.

A seductive smile curls on John’s lips. “You gorgeous bastard. Tell me you’re close.”

“Can’t last much longer with you fucking me like a first class porn star.” The fingers of his left hand dig into John’s hip.

“You dirty, amazing man,” John rumbles as he comes all over Sherlock’s chest and stomach.

“Fuck!” Sherlock hisses.

The sound of Sherlock swearing pushes him over the other side of a mind blowing orgasm.

He still sees his lover fighting against his own orgasm. Licking his own fingers, he swipes the sticky fluid from Sherlock’s chest and pops it between those kiss reddened lips. Sherlock’s tongue curls around John’s thick fingers as he moans and give one, two more thrusts. His face and neck turn bright red as he comes so hard the stars explode around John’s head.

“Oh sweet mercy, John!” He huffs. His hips make small circles as his orgasm slowly abates, leaving him boneless.

John replaces his fingers with his eager tongue. Their fevered post orgasm kiss cools to a languid tangle of lips and whispered praises.

“You were fan-fucking-tastic,” John murmurs.

“Are first times usually this good?” Sherlock’s fingertips caress John’s sweat covered back.

John huffs out a laugh against Sherlock’s skin. “No. No first time is like that ever. We have done the impossible and everyone else should just give up.”

- - -

The rainbow duvet is a total loss. John is certain he won’t have to explain it to his mother. After a quick wash up with warm flannels, he is now tucked in his clean bed with a sleepy Sherlock curled around him.

“Will she be mad?” Sherlock asks as he floats somewhere between sleep and euphoria.

“Mum, not really. Harry will be when she gets the picture I texted her.” John smirks into damp dark curls.

Sherlock chuckles. “You dirty boy.”

“She’ll appreciate the fact her duvet popped many a cherry. Maybe less thrilled that not one but two cocks were on her bed. Something she would have never imagined or allowed.”

“We can fondly call it the rainbow connection. The lovers, the dreamers and loss of virginity. Jim Henson would weep.” Sherlock moves closer to John’s side.

“Sherlock Holmes, did you just quote the Muppets? That’s two pop culture references in a day.” John looks down at the mop of curls.

Sherlock peers up. “What kind of monstrous childhood do you think I had?”

“Not one that involved musicals and children’s programs on telly. Or I would have thought you’d have deleted it long ago.”

“Oh I did. I also have the ability to recall something if it’s essential information. Tonight called for those kinds of memories.” Sherlock places a gentle kiss on John’s scar.

“You know, I’ve never had sex with a man in MY bed,” John offers cheekily.

“I believe I’m technically still a virgin….in regards to some sexual activities.” Sherlock reaches up to purr in his ear.

“I have much to show you…tomorrow night. Mum will be up before dawn and we’ll be up soon after.” John yawns.

“Should I move back to Harry’s room?”

John wraps his arms around Sherlock tightly. “Don’t you dare. Unless you’d rather sleep alone.”

For realsies, the canopy, the throw pillows, the bed skirt. I had it all. 

Here are some aus, divided in different themes.

College themed

I’m really passionate about this cause and I will give you this flier if I have to shove it down your throat

My roommate’s boyfriend is staying over so can I please sleep on your floor

We’re studying in the library and there are two people very obviously fucking in the stacks and we keep sharing embarrassed glances

You peed on my car. You were drunk. I was in the car. There will be hell to pay

My friend dragged me to this party and I just saw my ex quick make out with me

It’s 3am, in the dead of winter, some motherfucker pulled/set off the fire alarm and I am being very vocal about how I’m gonna make that fucker pay

I swear I’m wearing this Batman costume because of a dare

Accidentally knocked on the wrong dorm room college au

Heard a scream and thought you were getting killed but it was just a spider

Somehow, we always end up sitting next to each other during the weekly gatherings to watch [Game of Thrones, SVU, Rupaul’s Drag Race, pick a show] in our dorm’s really good TV room 

I took a bunch of free condoms from health services just because i could and they all fell out of my bag at once and now you’re staring at me weirdly

Awkward first meeting themed

“This horrible umbrella won’t extend! Oh shit I just hit you in the stomach/crotch! I’m so sorry!”

“I just tripped and fell face first into your crotch, god end my life now please.”

“I drunkenly tried to fight you and knocked myself out but you were kind enough to take care of me till I woke up.”

Trapped in a bank during a robbery 

“I met you last night when you were drunkenly patting my dog in my backyard at 3 in the morning and when i asked you what the hell you were doing you slurred something about dogs being great and then you threw up on my feet and then fifteen minutes later you were passed out on my couch so that’s why you’re here right now also what the fuck is your name and why were you patting a dog in a stranger’s backyard in the middle of the night”

“Last night was a haze for both of us and somehow we woke up hungover in a bed that isn’t either of ours and also neither of us recognize this apartment we should probably get out of here before someone calls the cops on us”

“You found me hanging by my fingertips from your window and i don’t want to tell you i was trying to rob you but idk how else to explain this and i don’t want to go to jail and also you’re kind of cute we should make out when i’m not clinging onto your window ledge for my life”

‘you thought i was someone else and started making out with me at a club and you’re really hot so i just went with it and now we’re heading back to your place and idk how to break it to you’

‘we’re two thirds of the threesome we had last night and we’re walking awkwardly out of the last persons’s apartment together’

‘i’ve had a really awful day so i started kicking a car out of frustration and it turned out to be your car i’m so sorry’

“I ordered pizza but the pizzeria got my order wrong so now I’m screaming at my really cute pizza delivery boy because I’m angry and very hungry”

Nobility themed

“your country’s trying to take over/annex my country and you’re making it difficult to hate you because you’re so nice and attractive stop it”

“we’ve been engaged to be married since we were three but this is the first time we’ve met and your portraits really don’t do you justice”

“i’m a prince/ss and you’re a servant and we’re not supposed to hang out but we’re gonna fall in love anyways”

Opposites attract themed

a hopeless romantic and a single-but-proud meet at a store on valentine’s day. the latter is buying valentine cards ironically, the former buying them sincerely in hopes of getting a date

a scary-looking person who unintentionally makes kids cry and a daycare volunteer meet at a children-filled park

rebellious teenager who’s failing all their classes is assigned a studious tutor

really distinguished food critic and fast food chef

a hopeless romantic and a horny beast are set up on a blind date

High school themed

“We’re the only ones in detention”

“I desperately need my books but my locker is blocked and you’re the only one in the hall”

“Someone wrote I’m cute in the bathroom stall and your notes match the handwriting”

“I twisted my ankle and you’re the only one here strong enough to carry me to the nurse’s office but we’re both really awkward”

“We were both left out when everyone was picking partners and now we always choose each other when we have classes together”

“I lent you my cool pencil months ago and you still use it”

“I accidentally took your notebook thinking it was mine and you have really nice handwriting and cute doodles”

“You started sitting by me at lunch because I’m alone at my table but we never talk to each other”

“I was really hungry but had no money and you bought me lunch even though I don’t know you”

“I left my phone number on the bathroom stall wall and you text me about your day and your frustrations for a month & it’s really nice and cute but I still don’t know who you are”

“I fell asleep on your couch after a party but you didn’t complain and made breakfast for the both of us”

sharing a textbook and leaving each other notes and answers in page corners

found their phone number in a library book

dancing partners

younger siblings are best friends

playing romantic interests in a play

“yes i understand that it’s may and this classroom is stuffy but why are you taking your shirt off and why aren’t you in trouble (not that i mind)”

“i can’t believe you dropped the frog we’re dissecting on tHE FLOOR WHAT THE FUCK”

“i’m fightin this person and they shoved me into u im sooo sorry- oh hey you’re cute- oH MY GOD UR KICKIN ASS MARRY ME!!! PLEASE!!!!”

“you asked me to prom by filling my locker with ping pong balls that say “prom?” on them but i tripped on one and smacked my head on a locker but thanks for taking me to the nurse!!! i still want to go with you!!”

Ridicously sentence themed

“I’m going to need you to put on some underwear before you say anything else.“ 

“Quick catch that cat it stole my wallet!”

“I hope you know that my name is actually ________.”

“That is the tenth demon summoning this week holy shit.”

“Please put me down it’s just a sprained ankle" 

“Why exactly do you need chloroform at 2AM?”

“I’m like 75% this won’t explode on us.”

“I understand the whole sleep talking thing but what I don’t understand is the princess dragon dream and why I’m in it.”

“I’m sorry that I got way too into playing house and accidentally kissed you passionately.”

Height difference themed

“I’m in a bookshop and I really need that book can you get it for me??? Wait you’ve read that book? let’s have an in depth conversation about it.”

“You were trying to reach for a box of cereal and a whole shelf’s-worth of cereal boxes fell on you here let me help”

“We’re both baristas and sometimes I have trouble reaching for things and I show up to work one day to find a personalized stool with hearts and my name on it i hATE YOU but also thanks”

“You are very tall and I am very short so you run into me all the time and honestly this is getting ridiculous”

I’m in art class and I just opened a cupboard to find a tiny person (you) squished inside and you just looked at and said “shh i’m hiding”

“We’re on the bus and I’m really not trying to take up your space I’m sorry I just have rlly rlly long legs” 

“You’re afraid that you’ll lose me in big crowds so you always hold my hand but now you just hold my hand when there’s only, like, five people around and I’m getting vry suspicious” 

Reincarnation themed

I fell in love with you three lifetimes ago and I’ve been looking for you ever since but I’ve been starting to give up and my friend’s new crush has your eyes and oh god I’m not going to steal someone’s date just because I’m hoping you’re the person I met in a past life

We keep reincarnating as people who speak different languages and it’s kind of pissing me off because I can never initially confirm if it’s you but at least I keep learning a bunch of cool new languages each lifetime

Mythical creatures themed

“i’m a newly-turned werewolf without a pack and i can’t really control myself well on full moon nights yet and you keep finding me passed out naked on your lawn”

“i got cursed and turned into an animal and taken to the shelter and ended up getting adopted by someone who is really hot OH NO”

“i’m a history major and i keep getting into arguments with one of my classmates about things because they keep saying i’m wrong so i finally scream, ‘how would you know?!?’ and they’re like, ‘because i was THERE!’ and that’s how we all find out that there is a centuries-old vampire taking our British history class”

Funny meeting at a party themed

“i was on my balcony and you started loudly quoting romeo and juliet at me”

“spilled my drink down your shirt and then tried to drink it off you”

“we had an impromptu rap duet in the middle of the party”

“you kept asking everyone to play the cha cha slide then proceeded to pass out when the song started”

“you keep shouting “THIS IS MY JAM” at every song that comes on i have a headache the size of nebraska you’re lucky you’re cute”

“whenever you saw me you’d shout ‘WHOOOOOOOOO’ really loudly and then do finger guns at me before walking off to god knows where”

“you thought I was your friend and pulled me up on the table to dance with you now you’re shirtless and grinding on me”

“you got up to the mic and started singing and holy shit you’re really good???”

“you’re really bad at beer pong but you do this really cute dance before you throw the ball so I’m letting you stay on my team”

“our mutual friend dared the two of us to chug a whole pint of beer and I’m not going to let you beat me”

“we both grabbed for the last bottle of the good beer and i’m not saying we’re going to fight for it but we are”

Competitive themed

we’re both ‘team leaders’ at a summer camp for little people and you may be hot but goddammit my collection of twelve-year-olds are going to beat yours into the dust

I used to be the best baker in the neighbourhood but then you showed up at Mrs Appleby’s 80th birthday with a stack of brownies which almost gave me an orgasm my honour is at stake and I’m going all out for the next event

a mutual friend invited us to their laser tag party and we’re the last two alive on opposite teams and goddammit if I’m going down you’re going down with me

you’re going to be at the halloween party and you’ve won best costume for the past three years but this year I am wearing the best costume ever if you defeat me I will eat my - wait you actually look really cute when did you turn hot what the fuck um

we’re always making stupid bets like ‘bet you can’t drink this whole bottle of BBQ sauce’ but then you did and now you’re sick and I feel really bad here let me look after you

did you actually just blue shell me on our date you fucker

“We’re bad at dating” themed

I can’t tell whether this is a date because you asked to see a movie but I’m still not sure you’re queer, and I’m toeing the line because maybe you’re just trying to make friends

I decided to flip a coin about every decision in my life for a week and that’s how we ended up on a date

We’re both meant to be going on blind dates with other people but we sat down at the wrong table and got our hopes up

We had one really bad date and never spoke again and now our friends have set us up on a blind date

We’re going on a blind date - but wait a moment, aren’t you that went down on me in a back alley behind a club year ago? … what do you mean “which one”?

After the first week, the smell is gone and the bed is no longer a comfort.  It’s rumpled and heartless and nothing more than what it was ever meant to be.  John wishes it farewell and closes the door behind him, never expecting to open it again.

After a month, the flat is dusty and haunted and Sherlock sits on the couch, follows him to the kitchen, to his room.  Sometimes John talks to him, spilling out every trapped word he’d kept beneath his breast bone.  Sometimes he’s silent and tries to imagine what would be if he’d said those words long ago.

After a year he can’t even remember his home.  The memories that ate him alive before are caged away, and now he’s the spirit haunting London.  He goes to work, he goes to the pub, he goes home.  He remembers none of it.  The color is gone from his life and each day feels borrowed.

Halfway to two years and the days start feeling more and more real and his time less and less borrowed.  He meets someone that feels warm and while she can’t fill the cracks still shifting and eroding in his bones, she holds him together just a bit more than yesterday.  He still can’t remember his days, but he does experience his nows a little more clearly.

After two years he thinks it’s okay to buy a ring.  It’s modest but it glimmers and reminds him that someone loves him even if he doesn’t know if he loves her. He doesn’t know if he can ever love again but at least he can care and at least there’s something warm and colorful for him after so many days and weeks and months of nothing.

After two years he smiles at her with affection and she smiles back sharp and and bright.  He thinks he can be content with this.

After two years he thinks he can move on and make a new life. 

After two years that all doesn’t matter because he is staring into the eyes of a ghost and remembering what real color looks like and what real anger feels like and the warmth he thought he’d felt is cool in comparison to what now burns his cheeks and stomach and skin.

I was randomly inspired to pull together my favorite teenlock and unilock recs. They’re all johnlock, because that’s how I roll. They’re either both teens/in uni or one is without a huge huge age difference; I’ve specifically shaved off teacher/student relationships for this one. Remember to check tags and warnings!

The Printer is Jammed, by startrekto221b. Rated G, 40k. Don’t let the G rating stop you. This is literally my favorite epistolary fic in this whole fandom, and it’s also a unilock customer service AU in which Sherlock is email tech support for Mycroft’s terrible QVC-ish company and John becomes an ACD-like novelist. It’s perfect.

Saving Sherlock Holmes, by earlgreytea68. Rated M, 139k. It’s #1 for kudos in the ao3 teenlock tag for a reason. A really beautiful look at the Holmes brothers while they’re young, a budding romance between 16/17 year Sherlock and John, and a lovely parallel dash of mystrade that honestly I think made me start shipping those two. My favorite of EGT’s fics for very good reason. <3

Back in the Day/Faithful Compass series, by keeliethompson1. First fic is rated E, 110k, the whole universe is 300k. I literally can’t even think about a unilock rec list without this fic/fic series. John’s in uni when he meets Sherlock, who’s older in this AU by 5-6 years. It takes them through UST-tastic beginnings to long distance to Afghanistan and beyond. I can’t talk enough about this universe, and it’s literally my favorite of Keelie’s series (and my namesake is named after one of her other ones).

Whirlwind series, by rubyofkukundu. Rated E, 19k total. Two parts: they meet at uni at a club and have a one night stand, but obviously they’re meant to be much more than that. So by the second part, they fall into a long distance relationship. Cue phone sex, mmm.

Blind Date, by swissmissficrecs (swissmiss). Rated E, 6k. John’s at uni and has caught a break: he’s at a coffee shop being set up on a blind date, and who should show up (unexpectedly) but Sherlock. With a healthy dose of implied pining. And: a good excuse for a PWP.

Kiss Me Through the Phone, by girlinthedeathfrisbee. Rated E, 2k. Just short sexy fluff, because uni boyfriends who love each other and masturbate over Skype is beautiful and should be shared with the world.

Very special shoutout to prettysherlocksoldier (prettysailorsoldier on ao3), who writes pretty much exclusively teenlock/unilock, is super prolific, and is generally a schmoopy, feel-good blessing upon the fandom. If your cup of coffee is in fact coffee shop AUs, fluffy rugby!John/ballet!lock, Irene being the fab LGBT society president, and other adorableness, go cling to PSS’s shirttails and never let go. Some of her fics I’ve particularly liked are:

You’re On the Air. Rated M, The boys are at uni and they’re now running a radio show. Kill me with your flangst and elevator anxiety already. Actually, the 25 Days of Johnlock series in general is lovely, so you should just check that out, work your way through the very fluffy oeuvre.

Quo Fata Vocant. Rated E, 18k. Because I had basically forgotten how much I absolutely love the secret admirer trope until I read this fic.

Johnlocktober. Rated E, 169k. It’s so long because each of the 31 chapters is a different story with a different prompt; one for every day in October. This is how I even got introduced to PSS, and the whole thing just blew my mind at how prolific she was. 

so you like AUs (squint hard if you need to)

The Frost is All Over, by chryse. Rated E, 148k. Absolutely epic Victorian adventure, full of childhood innocence, slow simmering pining and UST, massive amounts of Sherlock whump, Chryse-worthy angst, and Dickensian peril. Love this fic to bits. The song still kills me.

Roll Away Your Stone, by foxxcub. Still one of my all time favorites and one of the most perfect boarding school AUs I could ever hope for. UST set in Victorian times. Technically RDJ/Ritchie!verse, but you don’t even know it until you get to the mention of John’s height. 

Two Years as Your Interpreter, by prettyvk. AU in which Sherlock is a prophet (speaks poetical nonsense) and John is his interpreter and they are teens and they go to school together and become partners and friends and more and oh my god just read it. I find myself reccing prettyvk every few weeks tbh. I have no regrets.

You Give Me Fever, by traumachu (michi_thekiller). Greaserlock, the greaserlock. John’s a nerd, Sherlock’s a bad boy, and there’s the colorful world of the 1950s, steamy car sex, and weak knees to keep you more than happy.

Kidlock that goes into teenlock (and beyond)

Heart on a String, by angelspirit. Rated E, 23k. They get married as kids with rings out of a crackerjack box and it spirals into lifelong angst. Which is just SO my bag. It does come with a happy ending though. Also my bag. 

The Time Traveller’s Flatmate, by johnfuckingwatson (agameofscones). WIP, rated E, 59k. Based on the Time Traveler’s Wife, and by god it’s a lot of angst (but well worth it). I just re-re-re-re-read it though and it does have kid/teen/unilock in dribs and drabs. Kind of in perma-WIP status, but tbh I thought it might have ended where it left off until Ori told me otherwise. 

Homeostasis, by johnfuckingwatson (agameofscones). Rated E, 3k. Part of the same series as Time Traveller’s Flatmate above, but this is a quick AU (outtake?) where Sherlock travels back in time, visits John at uni, and helps him learn about…anatomy. Shhh, just go with it. John certainly does.

So I spent a frankly embarrassing amount of time tearing AO3 apart for this fic I wanted to reread, and ended up with a whole list of awesome “sex in the mind palace” fics! Thought I’d share the wealth - happy Friday!

a fool could see just how much i adore you / trustingno1 (Johnlock) Nocturnal penile tumescence, Sherlock thinks, fisting himself furiously, is hateful. “NPT?” the John in his head asks, amused. “Mate, it’s just morning wood.” “Shut up,” he grits out, “shut up, shut up.”

Always Feel It / philalethia (Johnlock) Sherlock’s mind being what it is, masturbation can be a bit… complicated.

As He Wants Him to Be / patternofdefiance (Johnlock) Where’s the harm? Sherlock thinks, and with that absolves himself, removes himself, and it’s not difficult to do this, to retreat, to imagine, even surrounded by the bustle of the kitchen and his family and Christmas. With practiced ease, Sherlock erases the distractions, one by one, and then replaces them - setting and sounds and people.

Core / picturestoproveit (Sherlolly) “Oh, for the love of GOD,” Sherlock snarled, leaping from his chair. He stomped toward his bedroom, his penis at a near ninety degree angle and leading the way. “I’ve heard better dialogue in the worst of pornographic films!” He swung the door open with force and flopped down onto his bed with a huff. “Well then, why don’t you create some better dialogue for me? It’s not my fault you’re challenged in the erotica department.”

Dinner / Iwantthatcoat (Mystery pairing) Irene and Sherlock in Karachi. Irene is not Sherlock’s fantasy, but she can help him discover who is.

Ingenuity / mydwynter (Johnlock) The memory struck him all at once, stealing his breath with shock: “Don’t test me. Next time I’m buying a vibrator and an extra-large bottle of lube and I’m closing myself upstairs with it. You can listen to the buzz all night, and try to deduce what I’m doing without having any for yourself.” Sherlock is a manipulative bastard. But John has it all in hand.

Inked / conchepcion (Sherlolly) Molly gets a tattoo and Sherlock’s mind wanders.

Lab Work / HopelessRomantic79 (Johnlock) John would stand far too close, his breath on Sherlock’s neck as he looked through the microscope, and linger for just a tick too long while their bodies brush together.

Method of Loci / Moonblossom (Johnlock) The inside of Sherlock’s mind palace is a decidedly filthy place sometimes. Thankfully, it’s not really masturbation if you’re not touching yourself. Unless you get caught.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps / Mazarin221b (Johnlock) John has a lot of ideas of what might happen at the end of his first date with Sherlock. Maybe he should help himself relax a little bit, first. Wouldn’t do to be too quick off the mark, you know.

Psychosomatic / holyfant (Sherlock/Irene/Jim) “Oh, Sherlock,” Irene says, sounding amused. “You think you’re so complicated. Down here, all you really want is to be simple, don’t you?”

Scene / makokitten (John/Sherlock/Irene) Masturbation never was Sherlock Holmes’ forte.

Something Borrowed / fleetwood_mouse (it’s cool to add my own fic, right?) John’s stag night didn’t actually turn out that way, but Sherlock can still see it so very clearly.

The Fox Anarfea (Molliarty) “Close your eyes and pretend I’m Sherlock Holmes,” he murmured.  “I don’t mind.”

The Sport in Transport / dietplainlite (Multiple pairings) There are countless articles in every woman’s magazine devoted to spicing up one’s sex life. Solid advice even if one’s sex life is solitary.

It’s Smutty Saturday, and yet again I’m going to prove what a filthy human being I am. No surprises there. This time I’m reccing Hartwin fics that feature face-fucking, because it seems that we all agree that Eggsy’s mouth was made for that kind of thing. 

Squeeze by rageprufrock (rageprufrock)

Honestly this fic is why I made this rec list. I emerged from this fic a changed human being. 

Russian Amber Imperial by fideliant (fideliant)

Brilliantly written, hilarious, and full of indulgent Eggsy primping, this fic makes me laugh every time. The brain-meltingly hot smut scene at the end just makes it better.

Fill by neutralgrape

A relatively short, delightful smut fic with mild D/s dynamics and some bondage, because my depravity knows no bounds.

Evening the Score by Saucery (saucefactory)

This fic is half hysterical mission fic and half steamy porn fic, featuring footsie and face-fucking.

The Things Gentlemen Don’t Do by Della19

The face-fucking portion of the fic only happens after 6k of plot, but it’s an excellent 6k and a truly lovely smut scene. 

Zeitgeber by fideliant

A delicious PWP heavily featuring Eggsy’s mouth and Harry’s fingers. Which are basically my biggest weak spots.

Bonus

Ace of Spades by manic_intent (manic-intent)

Hello!

Here are a few that take genre, adult, children’s:

Torquere Press

Triton Books (Riptide Books)

Less Than 3 Press

Bold Strokes Books

Harmony Ink Press

Tiny Satchel Press

Inscription Magazine

Queer Teen Press

Magnus Books (Riverdale Avenue Books)

(Thanks Twitter base for your suggestions on these!)

There are lots of character development worksheets out there, but in my opinion nothing that really examines a character’s growth and development, which is what I’m aiming to do with mine. You can use this to better understand your character, spot “holes” in their development, or to build a character from scratch! 

_____________________

Ancestry

What is this character’s lineage? 

Are there any genetic factors that may affect them? (Mental illness/disabilities that run in the family, magical lineage, etc.?)

What is/was their parents’ social class? 

What are their parents/caregivers like prior to their being born?

If not raised by their parents, then by whom? Are their caretakers of a different social class than the character? How are they treated as a result?

In the case of non-human characters, what is the status of their “kind” prior to their birth/construction/etc.? (E.g., are they the first generation of a new AI? Are they the first generation of vampires to live in the light?) 

Are there changing social values between prior generations and their own that may affect them?

_____________________

Circumstances at Birth

What is their parental status at birth? (Single mother, both parents, etc.)

What social class is your character born into?

What is expected of your character based on the social class that they are born into? By their parents/caregivers? By the society they live in?

How are they advantaged/disadvantaged at birth? Disability? Poverty? Etc.

Are there any circumstances surrounding their birth that may affect their early childhood? (For example, they were unwanted by their parents/caregivers, they were the long-awaited heir to a kingdom, or they were born (assigned as) a girl when the parents were hoping for a boy?)

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Childhood 

If they lose a parent/are orphaned/adopted/parents divorce, etc., at what age does this happen? a.) How does the age at which this happened affect them? Do they remember this change? Are they affected by the change?

Does their social status/class change at any point during childhood? Why?

What is their relationship with their parents/caregivers like? How do these interactions affect them in later life? (For example, a perfectionist character may have only received approval from their parents for big achievements.)

Do they have siblings or other close relationships with family members of a similar age? (Do bear in mind that early relationships with siblings can play a strong role in the way that people approach friendships in later years.)

If they have siblings, what is their birth order, and how does this affect them?

What are some of the most impactful moments from their childhood? How do these moments affect them? What do they learn from these experiences? (E.g., “authority figures aren’t to be trusted).

Was their childhood a happy one? If not, how do they see their childhood as an adult? Does this make them angry, do they try to ignore it, or have they moved on?

What are their typical social interactions like as children? Do they have a lot of friends, are they shy, etc.?

Do they exhibit expected behaviors or have difficulty conforming? (Conforming to gender roles or not, for example.)

What are their primary interests as a child?

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Adolescence

Is there a turning point that moves your characters from childhood and into a more “mature” perspective? (For example, the death of a loved one.) 

Does their social status/class change at any point during adolescence? Why?

How does their relationship with their parents develop from childhood to adolescence?

Do any major changes occur in their life during adolescence? How do these changes affect them?

In the case of MOGAI characters, at what point does your character realize they are “different” than the expected social norm? What are the circumstances surrounding that?

What is your character’s attitude toward sex and sexuality? How does their interaction with their parents/caregivers affect them?

How much independence is your character granted as an adolescent?

Does your character have more/less responsibility than the typical adolescent? In what ways? (For example, having to take care of a younger sibling.

How does their social life change (or not change) from childhood to adolescence?

How are they prepared for adulthood as an adolescent?

When in their society are they expected to become an “adult”?

How do their interests evolve from childhood to adolescence?

Is there a defining moment that transitions them from adolescence into adulthood? (Joining the military, moving out, etc.) 

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Adulthood

What is their primary attitude towards life based on their experiences in childhood and adolescence?

What kinds of events would be necessary to change these attitudes? 

Does their social status/class change as they reach adulthood, or at any point after? Why?

Are they generally independent as an adult? Why/why not?

Do they retain their relationship with their family on reaching adulthood?

Do they retain their social group from adolescence?

How/where do they meet new friends/love interests?

What is their attitude toward romance/love/family? What are their main goals regarding this as they enter adulthood?

What is their main goal as an adult? (A high-paying career, romance, family, to have fun, to survive, etc.) 

How do their goals change over time? As they meet old goals and set new ones?

How do their interests mature from adolescence to adulthood? (For example, an interest in writing as a teen may lead them to a career in publishing.)

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Older Age

Do they accomplish their goals as set out in earlier adulthood? How do they feel if these goals are not met?

As they approach older age, what is their social class?

Do they build a family in their adulthood? What is this family like?

If they become a parent, how is their relationship with their children affected by the relationship they had with their own parents?

What do they want to “leave behind” in the world?

Do they become a mentor/teacher to others?

As they grow older, how do they feel about the concepts of aging? Weakening? Death?