death is temporary, i'll love you forever!

you gotta read, you gotta write, you gotta draw, you gotta watch films and shows. there is literally NO time to be employed

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

Genuinely I love helping my friends so much. One of my buds called me and asked for a ride and was apologizing so profusely bc it was so last minute and they said they could pay me back and all that and I just got to be like "no worries I got u covered :D". Being able to just erase stress like that makes me the happiest person in the world

they’re foreclosing on my mind palace

aborted bloke: i would’ve loved to do fuck all

shoots you with my cupid arrow but you lowkey die

we’re so lucky that gilgamesh survived and is a banger. can you imagine if we found the oldest written human story ever recorded and it sucked balls.

dont be mad but i laid an egg in your bed and if you try to move it ill get really angry.

i like to think i'm the dead horse that everyone keeps beating

imagine if cocks could self-lubricate, like they could secrete ooze