GoffMum

Recently, my daughter asked me what kind of music I listened to when I was a ‘kid’…

I remember when I was maybe six or seven years old, my mum and dad went to see Billy Idol at Wembley. I think it was the ‘charmed life tour’ -1991/92?

Anyways, I really, really wanted to go, and obviously now as an ‘adult’ and parent, I accept it was a reasonable decision not to let me go.. as if that option was ever available in the first place.

I didn’t get to see Billy, but they did bring me back a poster from the concert, which was a fair deal in my eyes at the time.

I’ve started thinking back to snippets of my childhood and teens, as a reflection rather than dissection. And this memory in particular just reminds me how ‘different’ I was compared to my peers, even at a young age. What six/seven year old girl did I know who had a giant poster of Billy idol on their bedroom wall? I didn’t. I can’t even think if they had any kind of music poster on their bedroom walls at that age?

Before that, when I was roughy three or four years old, and living in a different house, I had the Micheal Jackson ‘BAD’ poster on my wall. I also had a boy George doll that I totally adored, and after later finding him in the loft, I had to have him make an appearance for photos on my 18th birthday party.

I liked wearing black. A lot. My favourite things to wear were long black skirts, black hooded T-shirts (remember when they were a thing?), and my black doc marten boots. I bought myself some black nail varnish from a market when i was about nine years old, but my mum didn’t like it. I think it was because I used to bite my nails? But now I love having long black claws!

I remember trying to persuade my mum to let me have my bedroom painted black when it was time to redecorate. Again, she denied me of my dark happiness. I’d wait roughly thirteen more years before taking matters into my own hands. I bought, and repainted my bedroom black paint for the woodwork .But for the walls, I found the most amazing ‘monster green’ paint!

I had pumpkin string lights around my window, bat string lights around my mirror, and a cute bat mobile hanging above my bed. Side note - not a ‘batmobile’, but a hanging mobile with bats on.

My room was my happy place. It was me. I was content expressing who I am and the slightly off beat things I love.

I think simple things like being able to create your own personal space, where you can be you and feel comfortable is so important. Especially through school years. I fumbled threw my early teens, trying to fit in with what music the kids were listening to, what clothes were in fashion ( black hipsters from new look, and a cute oversized Ben Sherman shirt was pretty popular for the time).

But I felt like a fraud. I wasn’t comfortable because it wasn’t who I was. Still, to this day, if I have to wear a suit or smart clothes (usually to a job interview or funeral in all honesty). Despite it being black, I feel ridiculous. Put me in leggings and a big ass band t-shirt and I’m happy.

I wouldn't be able to pin point exactly when I became a lover of Halloween and all things black and spooky, but I do remember my first time trick or treating. I was maybe four or five years old and so excited! My mum drove me to both sets of grandparents, and I remember receiving an orange, which despite not liking them, I was extremely happy with my 'treat'.

My mums best friend, who was also our next door neighbour bought me an amazing book one year for my birthday. It was called 'The Witches Handbook' by Malcolm Bird. I carried that book with me everywhere and studied the pages like a dedicated student of the ancient ways. That book was my favourite thing! I wish I still had it, as I've looked for it online and it's selling for over £100!!

Not really fanfare worthy, but I need to make a first post I guess.

so.. as you could probably guess by the name.. I’m a mum, and I’m a bit of a goth. I love music, all things black, spooky, kooky, halloween-y, glittery, autumnal.

As a thirty something year old mum, I’m struggling with the concept of being a ‘grownup’. I pretty much refuse. I colour my hair multicolours, I dress pretty much as I did in my late teens/early 20s. I still go to gigs (when we’re not in the middle of a global pandemic). and, unlike most people my age, I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up..

Before I ventured into parenthood, I was once the founder and voice of psychobilly band, Killing Seymour. We had a lot of fun, we played with lots of my favourite bands, and discovered lots of others. 

As Autumn is approaching, I find myself regressing back to my college days. My makeup gets warmer and darker,  my music, slightly moodier and louder. It’s a season I feel most connected to. And, my favourite holiday, Samhain or Hallowe’en. 

I’ll more than likely post more rambling posts as I go. Sharing things I come across or find online. General thoughts of nothingness. If you like what you read, or, just find yourself curious to see if I have anything of real substance to share with you - I’ll most likely disappoint , but Hello! It’s nice to meet you !