real life angel!

i am not so mean, i swear, i'm just among the wrong people

i want to go back in time and strangle myself with my bare hands/strike myself in the head with a hammer for being such a stupid bitch

i want to sleep and dream of something actually pleasant

my hearing has worsened due to me constantly listening to music and i don't know what to do about it

i feel so lonely.. does anyone want to talk?

i want to lay in bed and cry all day. but no, people will ask questions.. why do they always do that? i know they care, but even when i say that i don't want to talk about it, they just keep asking.. i just want to cry, it doesn't even have to be because something happened, and for people to understand that and leave me alone.

sometimes i dream of a person who is equally as sad as me. i wouldn't ever wish for someone to hate themselves and always be sad, no, but.. we would understand eachother. we would spill our thoughts of sadness to eachother. we would walk at night through lonely streets and hold hands. i would take care of their scars and of them, and reassure them, soothing all of their worries. we would lay close to one another, rotting away, but at least we would have eachother. i fear we would destroy eachother at some point, but till then, maybe we would be okay

i don't even look mysterious, i just come off as an antisocial asshole

i long for winter when it is dark, cold and bitter. then the cold will seep into my arms, my legs, my whole body and i will feel a kind of warmth of understaning. i will walk the gloomy streets and give a sad smile as the surroundings will change their colors and turn sadder, matching mine. and i will no longer feel so lonely, knowing there is someone, knowing these streets, this winter understand me

my body craves destruction

i desperately need to fucking destroy my wrists. the last time i got to make so many cuts on them it was just stupid cat scratches. sure, it turned out pretty but damn. i wish i could've done more. i was so ugly when crying too. i just want to let the pain out. i need to go deeper, harder, be harsher, meaner, and punish myself for being the mistake that i fucking am

why do i keep lashing out at everyone

in my daydreams i am loved

why do i even care? nothing matters. everything's just a social construct

everything has gone to shit again