wait. grow.

(things my roommate has said to his rats)

“No. Absolutely not. You cross that line, and we’re done.”

“You know this is the opposite of a good thing.”

“Do NOT give me that look.”

“You think you’re so cute. Oh, you think you’re SO cute.”

“You’re feeling adventurous today, aren’t you?”

“Avocado. Avocado. Avocaaaaado.”

“Do not be a vampire. Do NOT be a vampire.”

“Do you know what time it is? It’s not time for this. That’s what time it is.”

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you.”

“Be nice. You can be nice for once, can’t you?”

“Sometimes you do good things! This is not one of those times.”

“You are so smart and so soft.”

“I am putting you in time out because you need to understand the consequences of your actions.”

“I value you in my life, but you can be so much to deal with.”

“When you bit my face- that hurt my feelings.”

“Are you aware of how rude you’re being right now?”

“This is just unreasonable. Please come down.”

“I’ll be waiting here whenever you decide to come out from under the couch.”

GENERAL

“Can you walk?”

“How did this happen?”

“What the hell happened?”

“I hit my head.”

“Did you hit your head?”

“Can you hear me?”

“Don’t close your eyes, stay awake!”

“Come on, stay with me!”

“No no no no no!”

“You shot me!”

“I didn’t mean to shoot you!”

“You stabbed me!”

“I didn’t mean to stab you!”

“Take the knife out!”

“Don’t take the knife out!”

“It was an accident!”

“That/this wasn’t an accident!”

“That looks broken.”

“I think my leg/arm is broken.”

“That doesn’t look good.”

“Am I going to die?”

“You’re not going to die!”

“Calm down!”

“Don’t panic!”

“I can’t help you if you don’t let me!”

BLOOD

“Are you bleeding?”

“Don’t move, you’re bleeding.”

“Is that blood?”

“Whose blood is that?”

“That’s a lot of blood.”

“Do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Why do you know how to get bloodstains out?”

“Damn, I got blood on my shirt.”

“Don’t move, you’re losing blood!”

“I won’t let you bleed out!”

“You have blood on your face.”

“I swear to god, if you get blood on me…”

“What’s your blood type?”

“Why in the hell would you need to know my blood type?”

WOUNDS

“That cut is nasty.”

“You have a massive gash in your arm/leg!’

“Don’t touch it!”

“Don’t move, you’ll only make it worse!”

“I’ll get some bandages.”

“You’re going to need stitches.”

“That looks infected…”

“Did you get bit by something?”

“There’s no exit wound, the bullet is still in you.”

“There’s an exit wound, the bullet went through you.”

AFTERCARE

“How are you feeling?”

“How does it feel?”

“It’s still not healed, but it’s getting there.”

“Let’s go home.”

“I just want to go home.”

“Let’s get you into the bathtub.”

“We need to change your bandages soon.”

“Get some sleep, okay?”

“You need to eat something, you’ve been through a lot today.”

“I’ll check up on you in a bit.”