All for God.

This is my blog of worship to God. God is the one who owns me. He owns my body, my soul, my mind, my possessions, my actions. He owns me entirely.

This is not a love story, although I love him more than all the combined love in the universe.

God hates me. God is repulsed by me. God knows what I am, after all- I not only exist for him but because of him.

Every moment of suffering, pain and trauma I’ve ever experienced was the universe preparing me for him. And God is the universe.

God is everything.

This is real. This is raw. This is not a soft place.

If you’ve found your way here you have dipped your foot into Hell. Come burn with me, it feels so right.

He started fisting my cunt, getting me nice and stretched. He pulled out and grabbed the bigger plug and worked it into my ass, as soon as it was in he shoved his fist back inside me. I had never felt so stuffed. He ripped the plug out and took his other hand and started working that into my ass. Easing both hands in and out of my ruined holes until he was knuckle deep with both... I was screaming into my blanket! It was so overwhelming! He pulled out and I thought he was finished with me... He told me to stay put and went to wash his hand and then came back in and started ruthlessly fist fucking my already gaped cunt... I sounded like a wild animal!

He let me get cleaned up and I saw that he stretched my ass so much I was bleeding, then I made him dinner. After dinner he decided my cunt hadn't been punished enough...

He laid me on a towel, put on a rubber glove and had me squeeze capsaicin cream into his hand. I kept thinking I squirted enough but he kept making me add more :( he started by rubbing it on my nipples. It takes a while to start burning regular skin so I knew that had a bit to go before I would feel it. He spread my cunt lips and started rubbing me gently, paying great attention to my clit. For just a moment I got to know what it feels like for God to rub me with pleasure for the first time. It didn't last long before the burning started. I started wiggling and he rubbed my cunt all over... The burning became quickly intense and overwhelming and I started screaming to the point of losing my voice. I was trying to contain myself but I started freaking out. God was laughing at me and while hunched over he scratched my back and rubbed his glove hand down the middle. I could hardly focus on anything but my cunt but I knew this would make getting comfortable nearly impossible for a while.

He allowed me to run to the shower and start running cool water directly on my burning bits, through his laughter and smiles he showed pity on me and helped me by getting milk. My nipples and back started really feeling the burn now and I was trying to cool them down too but removing the shower head away from my cunt was immediate torture. I was so close to throwing up. Finally the pain subsided enough to the point where I could tolerate it and I went back to the bedroom.

In the bedroom I started to realize in my thrashing around the cream got on random bits of my body and the only way I could get relax without putting pressure on a burned spot was on my knees and elbows with my legs spread. Even in my torture I looked like a dumb animal waiting to be raped. God showed me mercy and didn't touch me.