i think about killing myself every single day. about the amount of pills i would take. about how my body would hit the concrete just right. it would be a relief to not be a burden anymore. i don't know why i feel so different from others and why i feel so out of place. i wish it was all different. i wish i was all different. in class i learned that energy can't be destroyed, only transferred. i can't wait for my atoms and energy to create someone who is not me. i hope they are happier than i ever was and that they are loved more than i was ever loved. i have an age picked when i will leave if things don't get better. there are probably many people worldwide who are contemplating killing themselves. that is the only way in which i am not alone.