Post locker cleanout after my last shift at work. This might be my favorite picture ever.
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@godclawed
Post locker cleanout after my last shift at work. This might be my favorite picture ever.

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Treating strippers like prospective dates is like treating your therapist like a prospective friend. Your therapist has no intention of being your friend. They are providing a service. Just like your favorite stripper has no interest in going on a date with you. Thats not the service they provide. Why are men so stupid. Its a worker/client relationship just like a therapist and their patient. Just cuz you paid me to show you my tits doesnt mean I want to show you my tits for free. It implies the opposite in fact. Ugh.

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I made myself laugh but kept the asker anonymous because I wasn’t sure if they wanted to be a part of my foolishness. 😂😂
Booty
✨✨✨
I'm in love with a stripper
It’s me. I’m in love with me.
MORGAN:
it doesn’t really make sense, why girls like alejandra would still be having to go on dates when you’d think the best guys out there would be throwing themselves at her. ‘ ooh, see, i totally would, but … ’ morgan gestures at herself from head-to-toe, feigning dismay at the missed opportunity. ‘ i don’t think i fit his criteria. ’
‘ you’re cute, though, i’m sure he’d make an exception for you. ’ she gives a grin, teasing - ‘ kidding. i couldn’t force him on you, i’m not that mean. i’d sooner just ditch him. ’ manicured nails push a lock of hair behind her ear absently, small shrug rolling her shoulders. ‘ i still might, honestly. he was supposed to pick up the tab, anyway. ’

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MORGAN:
she doesn’t mean to eavesdrop - it’s just hard not to, really, when you’re only a few feet away sitting with your girlfriends and once she makes to go to the bathroom, morgan takes that as her opportunity to stop by and lean into alejandra. ‘ if you ask me, he’s not the one for you. ’
an eyebrow raises, something like amusement settling over her features at the girls comment. ‘ agreed, ’ she tells the other girl easily - not a hint of argument in her tone. ‘ you want him ? you can have him. he’s been talking about how he, ’ she crooks her fingers in the air for sarcastic air quotes, ‘ loves mexican girls for the past twenty minutes. ’
DESIRAE:
Desirae simply scrunches her nose slightly at the eye roll, a smile & chuckle following. “You’re not wrong, does that mean you’re, for lack of a BETTER term, switching teams now?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow some. “I’m sure you’re not, but who says you can’t adopt a n e w one then. Well those people are IDIOTS & you’re worth much more than them.” The photographer said truthfully, with a nod. “Okay – maybe meet someone AT the bar already then? Honestly my advice is not gonna be great, since my own dating life is – I don’t even know.”
‘ switching teams ? ’ she repeats, quirking a brow. ‘ i don’t have to switch teams, des. i play for both. always have. ’ a shrug rolls alex’s shoulders - people seem to keep forgetting that bisexuality is a very real part of her life. ‘ i guess. what should my new quirk be then, huh ? gotta do something to draw people in. ’ alejandra is CLEARLY joking, amusement edging into her voice. ‘ i mean, meeting people at bars is like asking to get trapped into a three year relationship with a person who really just wants to get into your pants on a regular basis. so.... - probably not going to do that, ’ she admits. ‘ you don’t even know ? is there something going on that you haven’t been telling me ? come on, spill. ’
LUIS:
“ AS RADIANT AS YOU ARE , i don’t doubt that for a moment , ” he compliments , smile bright and cheeks already a little rosy . she had a beauty that was simultaneously intoxicatingly timeless and incredibly inviting . luis was under the impression that the moment she stepped foot outside her home , flowers bloomed , birds sang , and the masses fell at her feet . she hung the moon , and the starstruck twinkle in his eye made that very clear . “ you go on dates when you’re bored ?? why not just eat curry and watch piss movies ?? ”
tongue clicks, soft little smile curving red-painted lips at her friend’s compliment. he’s a sweet guy. ‘ thanks, lu, ’ she hums, patting his shoulder with one perfectly manicured hand. ‘ you’re sweet. ’ & then the hand is withdrawn, tugging her iphone out of her pocket to check it absently. ( just making sure she hasn’t missed a call from her MOTHER, she’s sure luis understands. ) it’s slipped right back into her pocket anyway, ignoring the considerable amount of texts on the screen in favor of the brunette in front of her. ‘ why ? sex, mostly. but i do eat curry and watch shitty movies, too, ’ alex grins.
ELLIOT:
He gave her a laugh from her amusement. “ It was either that or watch the game. Having a dick in my mouth was obviously far more entertaining than some fucking baseball. “ He rolled his eyes, shrugging at his own situation. There wasn’t a whole that that could have been done, not to mention Elliot was an absolutely whore for attention, so he took it wherever he could get it, even if it was just a a tiny bit. “ Screw heterosexuality, right? “ Sure, being gay wasn’t exactly a game you could get into, but he’d let it slide. “ I will take what I know from my past lady-loving friends, but it’s where it’s at. Definitely a lot easier to find one who will put you over the sports game, that’s for sure. “
‘ .... - okay, mijo, you have a point. ’ she tries to keep a stubbornly annoyed expression, but red lips are curling into a smile anyway. alex is too high maintenance for that - if she’s going to bother with someone at all in that context, she expects full attention. otherwise, no go. eyebrows raise, expression morphing to something that looks almost like annoyance. ‘ who's heterosexual ? i’m sure as shit not. it’s just way easier to meet men when you’re a lady of my PROFESSION. not a lot of girls come into strip clubs, especially not the one i work at. ’ a shrugs rolls her shoulders - she’ll let it slide. ‘ i know that. i’ve dated girls before. just not in for a few years. ’ come to think of it, though, she hasn’t really dated ANYBODY since the breakup with carter.
What’s in your stripper bag? Ft my brand new copy of Striptastic by @jacqthestripper

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imessage to : mi rey 👑
CARTER: what talk about how much you love my body?
CARTER: all mine, all mine, put my mark all over you, mark my territory and you can mark yours
CARTER: mmmm next time i see you i want you to beg for me
CARTER: ride my face all night long, whoever said face riding wasn't an appropriate form of transportation were dead wrong (;
CARTER: I do baby I know just that you need
CARTER: what idea? you dancing for me? I love the way you move, i love your body so much fuck baby
CARTER: I know, I'm on the edge, but I wanna cum a the same time. my thighs are shaking. you know it doesn't take me very long to get from point a to point b, wherever you want we can fuck there. I just want you too
CARTER: oh shit, how close are you?
ALEX: you know i do just please dont make me say it like that
ALEX: fuck yes baby all yours, i'm all yours and you're all mine. no one else can fucking touch us
ALEX: i will you know i will
ALEX: LMFAO honey i'm not trying to go anywhere once i'm with you
ALEX: that too. but really i was talking about 69ing. but i'll dance for you any time you want
ALEX: fuck me too baby i'm so fucking close, you get me so fucking hot, carter, just a few texts and i'm ready to cum all over my fingers for you
Anything you can do, I can do naked in eight inch heels.
(via dresdenmourning)