🧨TRUTHBOMB 🧨

Well, sugar, I have seen all of them, I think.

Nice. Which one was your favorite?

Oh, Marathon of the Heart, definitely.

Huh. Kinda forgot about that one.

Oh boy, I sure didn't.

Oh…really? Huh. Uh…well, what’d you like about it?

Just the whole love story of it all. You were a real fairytale prince.

At the time, I was. But…thanks, I guess.

You sound like you're insulted.

I’m not! Just…a bit out of it today.

You alright, sugar?

Just all the stuff with Homelander and…just a lot of other stuff, too.

Do you want to talk about it? Homelander and the other stuff?

I guess. I just don’t wanna talk loud cause of…wait, doesn’t he got super hearing or something?

He does, but you're safe as long as he isn't in the same building.

Uh…cool. Probably just a talk would do, I guess.

So tell me, sugar. What's on your mind?

Just…Homelander in general. All he cares about is Soldier Boy and that stupid V1.

You want him to care about you instead?

No! No. Pfft. He only cares about bein’ all mighty and powerful.

He is a bit...occupied at the moment. Are you worried about him hurting you?

I…You know what? Keep them. Do whatever, I guess.

You don't want them back?

Nah. You can keep ‘em. It’s fine.

But it's Reba and George Strait...

Actually…yeah. I want them back. Or we could listen to them together.

Only if you promise to sing with me.

Fine. One song.

Then it's "Fancy."

Please don’t start singin’ out of the blue. I mean, I’ll sing, but—

But?

But…I don’t exactly sing. I…uh…I dance.

I sing and you dance then?

Sure. Alright, just play the song.

Yes, sir. Right away.

Well, sugar, I have seen all of them, I think.

Nice. Which one was your favorite?

Oh, Marathon of the Heart, definitely.

Huh. Kinda forgot about that one.

Oh boy, I sure didn't.

Oh…really? Huh. Uh…well, what’d you like about it?

Just the whole love story of it all. You were a real fairytale prince.

At the time, I was. But…thanks, I guess.

You sound like you're insulted.

I’m not! Just…a bit out of it today.

You alright, sugar?

Just all the stuff with Homelander and…just a lot of other stuff, too.

Do you want to talk about it? Homelander and the other stuff?

I guess. I just don’t wanna talk loud cause of…wait, doesn’t he got super hearing or something?

He does, but you're safe as long as he isn't in the same building.

Uh…cool. Probably just a talk would do, I guess.

So tell me, sugar. What's on your mind?

Just…Homelander in general. All he cares about is Soldier Boy and that stupid V1.

You want him to care about you instead?

I…You know what? Keep them. Do whatever, I guess.

You don't want them back?

Nah. You can keep ‘em. It’s fine.

But it's Reba and George Strait...

Actually…yeah. I want them back. Or we could listen to them together.

Only if you promise to sing with me.

Fine. One song.

Then it's "Fancy."

Please don’t start singin’ out of the blue. I mean, I’ll sing, but—

But?

But…I don’t exactly sing. I…uh…I dance.

I sing and you dance then?

Well, sugar, I have seen all of them, I think.

Nice. Which one was your favorite?

Oh, Marathon of the Heart, definitely.

Huh. Kinda forgot about that one.

Oh boy, I sure didn't.

Oh…really? Huh. Uh…well, what’d you like about it?

Just the whole love story of it all. You were a real fairytale prince.

At the time, I was. But…thanks, I guess.

You sound like you're insulted.

I’m not! Just…a bit out of it today.

You alright, sugar?

Just all the stuff with Homelander and…just a lot of other stuff, too.

Do you want to talk about it? Homelander and the other stuff?

I guess. I just don’t wanna talk loud cause of…wait, doesn’t he got super hearing or something?

He does, but you're safe as long as he isn't in the same building.

Uh…cool. Probably just a talk would do, I guess.

So tell me, sugar. What's on your mind?

Well, I already have a chick.

Now if you had a hen, you'd have the whole family.

He has the cutest little baby bump.

No, that's the beer.

Uh uh, no more beer until the baby comes.

It's a pregnancy craving.

So is coal and chalk, but you can't have those either.

... Wait. Are you pregnant, too?

Sure am, babe. We're having twins, you're carrying one, and I'm carrying the other. Sharing the load.

What the fuck.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, sugar.

Fucking apparently.

That's what got us here.

And drugs.

That was all you, sweetheart.

You took, like, seventeen pills.

That was my medication for my heart!

Seventeen pills?

Were you counting?

I might have missed one or two. You popped half a bottle like candy.

Well, I didn't want to die while I was riding you like a prized stallion.

That would be awkward.

And I certainly wouldn't want you to feel awkward.

Well, I would hope.

Wouldn't want my death to ruin your good time.

Considerate. I like that in a woman.

It's that sweet Southern Belle in me.

Oh, there was something else in you, missy.

Oh my Lord, what was it?

... I'm gonna give you a moment here.

That joke went sailing straight over your pretty head.

Went sailing gay. It's the gay month.

Look at you, being funny. Funny, haha. Not funny- well, you know.

I am being, as the kids call it, woke.

Everybody always asks what about our troops and veterans this month. I say, what about our gay veterans? What about our gay troops?

No.

No? What do you mean 'no'?

No means no, Firecracker.

Well, get you some milk and cookies, sweetheart.

What am I, Santa Claus?

Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas?

I don't know, can you?

... No more milk and cookies for you.

You ate them all and sold the milk to Homelander, didn't you?

I might have, and he's...evolved to something beyond cow's milk.

Backwards.

...Yes, backwards. And I damaged my heart for it.

Talk about heartbreaks.

Oh, haha.

Should see a doctor about it.

I do. Remember? Seventeen pills?

What pills?

You love to see me riled up, don't you?

You do get rather energetic when you're riled up.

I can't help but get fired up.

Pretty sure you also just got fired in general.

We don't talk about that. It was just a little mistake.

A stake?

I was thinking about storing my Costco frozen foods in your cryo tube, is that cool?

Well, if it's frozen, I would hope it's cool, otherwise it would melt.

I'm going to sit on your face just so you stop talking.

That's also cool.

Good boy.

I am very temper to bark, simply for the comedy value.

Do not bark into my vagina.

Where's your sense of adventure?

You're going to bark into it, aren't you?

Not like you'd stop me.

Shut up. My self-esteem is hanging on by a thread.

You know what else is hanging?

Is it you?

Are you telling me to hang myself?

I thought it was a dick joke.

Are you calling me a dick?

Yes.

Well that's not very nice.

Neither is barking into my vag.

You don't know that.

I have a good feeling.

Exactly. A good feeling.

I do have a surprise for you.

Do you now?

Uh huh. It's something you really like.

Enough ketamine to kill a large horse?

No... On a woman's body.

That's not mutually exclusive.

It's not ketamine, Ben.

Why not?

Nevermind!

It's ketamine?

Still not ketamine.

Is it ketamine yet?

No. I fixed what you complained about.

... Obtained ketamine?

...Nevermind.

I want ketamine, Firecracker.

So go buy you some!

What's the point of having a woman if she doesn't get me ketamine?

Am I your woman?

I do not believe in owning women, Firecracker.

Well, hallelujah to that.

Hallelujah on my cock.

I didn't know you had a rooster.

He has the cutest little baby bump.

No, that's the beer.

Uh uh, no more beer until the baby comes.

It's a pregnancy craving.

So is coal and chalk, but you can't have those either.

... Wait. Are you pregnant, too?

Sure am, babe. We're having twins, you're carrying one, and I'm carrying the other. Sharing the load.

What the fuck.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, sugar.

Fucking apparently.

That's what got us here.

And drugs.

That was all you, sweetheart.

You took, like, seventeen pills.

That was my medication for my heart!

Seventeen pills?

Were you counting?

I might have missed one or two. You popped half a bottle like candy.

Well, I didn't want to die while I was riding you like a prized stallion.

That would be awkward.

And I certainly wouldn't want you to feel awkward.

Well, I would hope.

Wouldn't want my death to ruin your good time.

Considerate. I like that in a woman.

It's that sweet Southern Belle in me.

Oh, there was something else in you, missy.

Oh my Lord, what was it?

... I'm gonna give you a moment here.

That joke went sailing straight over your pretty head.

Went sailing gay. It's the gay month.

Look at you, being funny. Funny, haha. Not funny- well, you know.

I am being, as the kids call it, woke.

Everybody always asks what about our troops and veterans this month. I say, what about our gay veterans? What about our gay troops?

No.

No? What do you mean 'no'?

No means no, Firecracker.

Well, get you some milk and cookies, sweetheart.

What am I, Santa Claus?

Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas?

I don't know, can you?

... No more milk and cookies for you.

You ate them all and sold the milk to Homelander, didn't you?

I might have, and he's...evolved to something beyond cow's milk.

Backwards.

...Yes, backwards. And I damaged my heart for it.

Talk about heartbreaks.

Oh, haha.

Should see a doctor about it.

I do. Remember? Seventeen pills?

What pills?

You love to see me riled up, don't you?

You do get rather energetic when you're riled up.

I can't help but get fired up.

Pretty sure you also just got fired in general.

We don't talk about that. It was just a little mistake.

A stake?

I was thinking about storing my Costco frozen foods in your cryo tube, is that cool?

Well, if it's frozen, I would hope it's cool, otherwise it would melt.

I'm going to sit on your face just so you stop talking.

That's also cool.

Good boy.

I am very temper to bark, simply for the comedy value.

Do not bark into my vagina.

Where's your sense of adventure?

You're going to bark into it, aren't you?

Not like you'd stop me.

Shut up. My self-esteem is hanging on by a thread.

You know what else is hanging?

Is it you?

Are you telling me to hang myself?

I thought it was a dick joke.

Are you calling me a dick?

Yes.

Well that's not very nice.

Neither is barking into my vag.

You don't know that.

I have a good feeling.

Exactly. A good feeling.

I do have a surprise for you.

Do you now?

Uh huh. It's something you really like.

Enough ketamine to kill a large horse?

No... On a woman's body.

That's not mutually exclusive.

It's not ketamine, Ben.

Why not?

Nevermind!

It's ketamine?

Still not ketamine.

Is it ketamine yet?

No. I fixed what you complained about.

... Obtained ketamine?

...Nevermind.

I want ketamine, Firecracker.

So go buy you some!

What's the point of having a woman if she doesn't get me ketamine?

Am I your woman?

I do not believe in owning women, Firecracker.

Well, hallelujah to that.

That's so sweet of you!

He has the cutest little baby bump.

No, that's the beer.

Uh uh, no more beer until the baby comes.

It's a pregnancy craving.

So is coal and chalk, but you can't have those either.

... Wait. Are you pregnant, too?

Sure am, babe. We're having twins, you're carrying one, and I'm carrying the other. Sharing the load.

What the fuck.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, sugar.

Fucking apparently.

That's what got us here.

And drugs.

That was all you, sweetheart.

You took, like, seventeen pills.

That was my medication for my heart!

Seventeen pills?

Were you counting?

I might have missed one or two. You popped half a bottle like candy.

Well, I didn't want to die while I was riding you like a prized stallion.

That would be awkward.

And I certainly wouldn't want you to feel awkward.

Well, I would hope.

Wouldn't want my death to ruin your good time.

Considerate. I like that in a woman.

It's that sweet Southern Belle in me.

Oh, there was something else in you, missy.

Oh my Lord, what was it?

... I'm gonna give you a moment here.

That joke went sailing straight over your pretty head.

Went sailing gay. It's the gay month.

Look at you, being funny. Funny, haha. Not funny- well, you know.

I am being, as the kids call it, woke.

Everybody always asks what about our troops and veterans this month. I say, what about our gay veterans? What about our gay troops?

No.

No? What do you mean 'no'?

No means no, Firecracker.

Well, get you some milk and cookies, sweetheart.

What am I, Santa Claus?

Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas?

I don't know, can you?

... No more milk and cookies for you.

You ate them all and sold the milk to Homelander, didn't you?

I might have, and he's...evolved to something beyond cow's milk.

Backwards.

...Yes, backwards. And I damaged my heart for it.

Talk about heartbreaks.

Oh, haha.

Should see a doctor about it.

I do. Remember? Seventeen pills?

What pills?

You love to see me riled up, don't you?

You do get rather energetic when you're riled up.

I can't help but get fired up.

Pretty sure you also just got fired in general.

We don't talk about that. It was just a little mistake.

A stake?

I was thinking about storing my Costco frozen foods in your cryo tube, is that cool?

Well, if it's frozen, I would hope it's cool, otherwise it would melt.

I'm going to sit on your face just so you stop talking.

That's also cool.

Good boy.

I am very temper to bark, simply for the comedy value.

Do not bark into my vagina.

Where's your sense of adventure?

You're going to bark into it, aren't you?

Not like you'd stop me.

Shut up. My self-esteem is hanging on by a thread.

You know what else is hanging?

Is it you?

Are you telling me to hang myself?

I thought it was a dick joke.

Are you calling me a dick?

Yes.

Well that's not very nice.

Neither is barking into my vag.

You don't know that.

I have a good feeling.

Exactly. A good feeling.

I do have a surprise for you.

Do you now?

Uh huh. It's something you really like.

Enough ketamine to kill a large horse?

No... On a woman's body.

That's not mutually exclusive.

It's not ketamine, Ben.

Why not?

Nevermind!

It's ketamine?

Still not ketamine.

Is it ketamine yet?

No. I fixed what you complained about.

... Obtained ketamine?

...Nevermind.

I want ketamine, Firecracker.

So go buy you some!

What's the point of having a woman if she doesn't get me ketamine?

Am I your woman?

He has the cutest little baby bump.

No, that's the beer.

Uh uh, no more beer until the baby comes.

It's a pregnancy craving.

So is coal and chalk, but you can't have those either.

... Wait. Are you pregnant, too?

Sure am, babe. We're having twins, you're carrying one, and I'm carrying the other. Sharing the load.

What the fuck.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, sugar.

Fucking apparently.

That's what got us here.

And drugs.

That was all you, sweetheart.

You took, like, seventeen pills.

That was my medication for my heart!

Seventeen pills?

Were you counting?

I might have missed one or two. You popped half a bottle like candy.

Well, I didn't want to die while I was riding you like a prized stallion.

That would be awkward.

And I certainly wouldn't want you to feel awkward.

Well, I would hope.

Wouldn't want my death to ruin your good time.

Considerate. I like that in a woman.

It's that sweet Southern Belle in me.

Oh, there was something else in you, missy.

Oh my Lord, what was it?

... I'm gonna give you a moment here.

That joke went sailing straight over your pretty head.

Went sailing gay. It's the gay month.

Look at you, being funny. Funny, haha. Not funny- well, you know.

I am being, as the kids call it, woke.

Everybody always asks what about our troops and veterans this month. I say, what about our gay veterans? What about our gay troops?

No.

No? What do you mean 'no'?

No means no, Firecracker.

Well, get you some milk and cookies, sweetheart.

What am I, Santa Claus?

Can I sit on your lap and tell you what I want for Christmas?

I don't know, can you?

... No more milk and cookies for you.

You ate them all and sold the milk to Homelander, didn't you?

I might have, and he's...evolved to something beyond cow's milk.

Backwards.

...Yes, backwards. And I damaged my heart for it.

Talk about heartbreaks.

Oh, haha.

Should see a doctor about it.

I do. Remember? Seventeen pills?

What pills?

You love to see me riled up, don't you?

You do get rather energetic when you're riled up.

I can't help but get fired up.

Pretty sure you also just got fired in general.

We don't talk about that. It was just a little mistake.

A stake?

I was thinking about storing my Costco frozen foods in your cryo tube, is that cool?

Well, if it's frozen, I would hope it's cool, otherwise it would melt.

I'm going to sit on your face just so you stop talking.

That's also cool.

Good boy.

I am very temper to bark, simply for the comedy value.

Do not bark into my vagina.

Where's your sense of adventure?

You're going to bark into it, aren't you?

Not like you'd stop me.

Shut up. My self-esteem is hanging on by a thread.

You know what else is hanging?

Is it you?

Are you telling me to hang myself?

I thought it was a dick joke.

Are you calling me a dick?