Welcome, please, sit down, have a cookie, and listen up!
I'm Goblin, and I finally got the courage to start writing on here! Hell yeah!
When it comes to original fiction, I write around dark fantasy and sci-fi genres, often spitting out some shorter stories, character ideas and details about my universes (as well as memes!), and, from time to time, I might even share stuff about my bigger projects!
So, yeah, get ready to see some memes, OCs, and maybe even art (when I get the chance), and, most importantly, watch me struggle with juggling my student life, a hunt for college and this beautiful, chaotic dumpster fire I hope this blog will become!
Feel free to ask anything, even put in requests, I'll be absolutely ecstatic at any activity this place gets :D
I also write an unhealthy amount of fanfiction for whatever brain rot I happen to have from time to time.
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If I could make one single vow it would be to find heaven in the now. I have looked towards a future peace but maybe there in lies the beast, of wanting but not having. Of looking and not finding. Is the hope in hiding.
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Your writing is not dumb. Your writing is not pointless. Your writing is not bad, or cringe, or boring, or predictable, or not original enough. Don't let your inner critic ruin your masterpiece. You are most likely just overthinking due to how long you've been looking at your work, or something else is stressing you out. Take a break. Go for a walk, water your plants, spend some time with a loved one or pet, get something to eat, or take a nap. Do anything to give your brain a break, then go back to writing. Trust me, it helps. Don't lose faith in yourself, and DEFINITELY don't overwork yourself.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
excerpt from my dark fantasy WIP Golden Rain because the heat is killing me
“You ready to meet up with the rest?” Rennan has to shout for his voice to reach me in this rain. His rich brown skin shines warmly even in the cold. His presence is comforting, though the easy smile on his lips falters a bit when his eyes flicker with worry.
He’d been sent here with me, as the Captain decided the small scout group would need assistance, and sent us after them. What exactly they were scouting for, I have no idea.
I’d tell you the details, Aodh grumbles from beneath me, but you know I wasn’t paying attention.
I glance at the inky blue dragon with a resigned sense of disbelief at his bluntness spreading through my chest.
Of course, you weren’t. I chuckle, though it does little to calm my nerves. If Ralem and his group need help - given the Captain’s assumption is right - we’re in for a fight.
Me immediately after posting my fic: welp, time to never look in that thing's direction again, if I see it even out of the corner of my eye, I'm gonna be ill
[ID: screenshot of 2 tags reading: # me writing the fic: this is the greatest piece of literature ever written and I deserve the booker prize and # me after posting the fic: I’m going to be imprisoned for writing the most repugnant piece of literature ever made. End ID.]
Listen I know there's the joke that writers go to coffee shops to hang out and "write" but if I have free time to write in the middle of the dang afternoon and I am AT HOME I will NOT WRITE. I just won't. I'll play with my cats. I'll hang out in front of my fridge. Mostly, I will do housework! I will be beaten into adulthood respnsibilties submission by my overflowing hamper and the furballs gathering in the corners of my stairs and the dried up toothpaste in my sink. I need that ~third space~ to be able to zone out and focus. Yes, libraries are very good for this too… but I like caffeine too much.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Thank you for reading <3 For all those of you out there, I love you guys, and I'm so proud of you, no matter what you identify as, you guys are so strong :)
TWs: Slight panic, but nothing major
Word count: 468
Please, do not repost or translate my work :)
Short Summary
A small, heartwarming story about one of the ways coming out may end with.
Enjoy!
“What are you saying?” mom asks, eyes shifting away from preparing dinner to me. I squirm under her inquiring gaze.
“I said that I-” Tears scratch my throat and my hands shake so badly I can’t even reach to wipe my eyes. “I was saying,” I take a deep, shaky breath. It doesn’t help.
Oh god, oh fuck, why did I think this was a good time? Well, it’s never a good time to begin with, but still. Fuck.
“Honey, take a minute, breathe,” mom says in a calm, if slightly concerned, voice. Her attention is fully on me now - I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. “Did something happen at school?” I shake my head. Fuck, FUCK! How do I tell her? How do I even begin to explain?
“No, I,” I suck in another shaky breath. Tears spill over my eyes. There are so many, I worry I might drown if I drag this out further. “I know this is random, but I wanted to tell you that I’m not a girl, and I’m not a boy either, and it’d be great if we could use different pronouns on me, but I get it if we can’t, and I totally understand if you hate me now, and I’m so sorry, I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, and I,” my voice strangles in my chest. Mom is looking at me with wide eyes, searching my own for some clarification. Something I can’t offer at this moment.
I fully expect her to get angry. I even worry she might kick me out of the house. Would Siobhan, or maybe Casey take me in with them? Can I even make it if I’m homeless? Fuck, no, I should’ve though about this before, why did I act on impulse? Again?
She’s still not saying anything. My panicking gets worse. I feel my heart in my throat, and I wish I could melt into a puddle and disappear.
Mom lifts her hand. I flinch. And my heart shatters. She would never hit me, right? She would never do that, so why am I so scared?
“Honey,” she whispers. Her palm rests against my cheek. Gentle, barely touching me. Her own hand is shaking. “Baby, look at me,” she softly coos. Her voice is so calm - the complete opposite of what I would expect.
“You’re not,” I stammer. “You’re not mad at me?”
She shakes her head with a sigh, her fingers run through my hair.
“I love you, as my child.” My heart swells. “And I’d be happy to make any changes you want, bunny.” How can she be so nice to me? “We just have to talk about it.”
TWs: Hints at wanting to die, otherwise nothing, really
Word count: 636
Please, do not repost or translate my work :)
Short summary
A metaphorical look at my own experience of figuring out where I stand on the lgbtqia+ spectrum.
Enjoy!
It was a feeling not unlike drowning, except the substance forcefully filling my lungs wasn't water, but air. I gasped, hands blindly grasping at everything in reach.
I couldn't scream, my head overflowing with emptiness. There was nothing I could do, nothing I could see, or hear.
A part of me begged to die, prayed that whatever was happening to me would just end.
The worst thing about it was the pressure all over my body. It stopped me from thinking, it restrained my mind and my limbs, and I found myself helplessly floating through an abyss so deep and dark, it consumed all my memories of any light having ever existed. There was only that hungry, starving vortex.
The second worst thing was how utterly, horribly uncomfortable I felt. My own skin, at any other time the armor necessary to keep me safe, turned against me.
It was a weapon in the hands of the unknown.
It itched and crawled, and I wanted noting more than to claw the stickiness off my flesh.
Pain seemed like heaven compared to this.
Once again, I gasped for air.
Who am I?
My mind wasn't my own.
Who could I be?
This emptiness, this vortex consuming any semblance of life at first sight; That wasn't me.
So, who am I?
The truth is, I didn't know back then, and I don't quite know now.
I knew I was human, I knew what I was supposed to be, and what was expected of me. What others thought I owed them.
It all felt so artificial.
Finally, the vortex let me go. My feet hit the ground with a wet squelch. Dark ichor dripped from the ceiling and covered the walls. I was slowly sinking into it, the black goo rising above my ankles and slowly slithering to my knees.
Do I plunge into darkness, or do I stay here?
A viscous strand of the disgusting goo dripped onto my shoulder.
Whatever lies beyond, it has to be better than this, right?
Better than this suffocating, all-consuming hell.
Nothing waited for me there, other than the sick familiarity of darkness, hatred, and lies.
I know this place all too well.
And I could no longer bear the darkness.
What lies beyond?
With a staggering strength, I tore my foot out of the slimy ichor.
I can do this.
With a grunt of effort, I reached for the wall.
And I plunged my hand inside it.
There has to be something, there has to.
The liquid was warm to the touch, different from the biting cold of the ichor everywhere else. The hostile familiarity shifted into comfort as more and more of my skin was consumed by the wall. Soon, my face was barely inches away.
Please, fuck, let something be there.
Darkness enveloped me. It was no longer a dripping, viscous ichor, but true emptiness.
I fell through the wall, seemingly leaving all my feelings behind.
Face-first, I emerged on the surface of an enormous lake. Enormous - but shallow. I was sitting on its shimmering surface, muscles shaking with fatigue.
I'm on the other side! This is it!
There was something after all.
I took a breath. Long, deep, and free. My lungs expanded as I gulped air hungrily. Like a prisoner starved of all life, my mind flooded with sensations.
The world pulsed with colors and sounds. The very air thrummed with the melody of rippling water as I shifted around in the lake.
I felt, for the first time in an eternity, my own heart beating in my chest. Blood filled my veins, and I eagerly stared at all the world had to offer.
I may not have known who I am, yet, or what it was I was doing there, but...
