Sexual and Gender Diversity

"Many white women have said to me, ‘We wanted black women and non-white women to join the movement,’ totally unaware of their perception that they somehow ‘own’ the movement, that they are the ‘hosts’ inviting us as ‘guests.’"

10 BETTER BODY AFFIRMATIONS FOR YOUNG WOMEN 1. Your body is in flux for the rest of your life. Think of your body as fluid instead of static — it’s always going to change. So get comfortable with those changes. 2. No one will love you or not love you because of your body. You are lovable because you’re you, not because your body looks a certain way. 3. The most intensely personal relationship you’ll ever have is with your body. It’s a lifelong relationship that’s well worth investing in and nurturing the same way you would with loved ones. 4. You don’t owe your body to anyone. Not sexually, not aesthetically. Your body is yours. Period. 5. What someone else says about your body says more about them than it does about you. Look past the actual snark to the person who’s saying it, because it’s only a reflection of what they think of themselves. That’s when you’ll see how little power their words have. 6. Your body is not a reflection of your character. It’s a physical home for the complex and wondrous and unique being that is you. 7. Take up as much space as you want. You don’t have to be small, or quiet, or docile, regardless of your physical size. 8. Everything you need to accept your body is already inside you. There’s no book, or diet, or workout routine or external affirmation that you need to feel good about your body right now. 9. Your body is a priority. It’s always trying to tell you things. Taking the time to listen to is of the utmost importance. 10. Wear whatever you want. Your body shape does not dictate your personal style, and fashion rules that say otherwise are wrong. Dress yourself in a way that makes you feel happy and confident and beautiful, because guess what? You are.

I have gotten one question repeatedly from young men. These are guys who liked the book, but they are honestly confused. They ask me why Melinda was so upset about being raped. The first dozen times I heard this, I was horrified. But I heard it over and over again. I realized that many young men are not being taught the impact that sexual assault has on a woman. They are inundated by sexual imagery in the media, and often come to the (incorrect) conclusion that having sex is not a big deal. This, no doubt, is why the number of sexual assaults is so high.