i am the strongest and the weakest

I love you. 

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you– I love you harder than this heart of mine can beat. I love you farther than these hands of mine can reach. I love you longer than these bones of mine will last.

Perhaps, in some other world,      where the horizons are wider than ours,      where the oceans are deeper and the stars are brighter, Perhaps this other world can encompass this love of mine,  but dear heart, all I have here are       five inadequate fingers to caress you with and      four inadequate limbs to hold you with and      three inadequate words to comfort you with and      two inadequate lips to kiss you with and      one inadequate life to love you with.

They say, dear heart, that Love in an unstoppable force,      and I believe them.           I do. It’s just that I’m also learning, day by slow day, that there are more immovable objects than I ever thought existed. 

I cannot love you into safety.  I cannot love away the nightmares that haunt your midnight sleep. I cannot love together the pieces of you that they broke apart. I cannot love us back to the past where the skies were rosier and your smiles were brighter. I cannot love us into a future where I can promise you you will never be hurt again.  I cannot love you back from Misery’s grasping fingers and Death’s cold hands.

I cannot even, dear heart,      no matter how hard my heart longs and my breath shudders,  I cannot love us into a quiet grave where we can rest,       side by side      at last at peace      together

But dear heart, I promise you this: I will try. I will try until my last gasping breath      and my last pounding heartbeat      and my last trembling step      and my last whimpering prayer.

I will try, dear heart,      until we reach a quiet grave where we can rest,            side by side           at last at peace           together.

‘ i believe i’m a good person. ‘

‘ i know life can be beautiful. ‘

‘ if we changed back then, we can change again. ‘

‘ get away, nerd ! ‘

‘ fight the urge to strike a match and set this dump ablaze ! ‘

‘ i rented “the princess bride”. ‘

‘ why do i cry myself to sleep ? ‘

‘  i’d like to kidnap [ name ] and photograph her naked in an abandoned warehouse and leave her tied up for the rats. ‘

‘  if I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, i’d have matching halves. that’s very important. ‘

‘ it’s a beautiful frickin’ day ! ‘

‘ you got a bone to pick ? ‘

‘ listen up, biotch ! ‘

‘ you just gotta prove you’re not a pussy anymore. ‘

‘ that freak’s not your friend, i can tell in the end. ‘

‘ shut up, [ name ] ! ‘

‘ hey, mr. no name-kid. ‘

‘ so who might you be ? ‘

‘ could you be seen with me and still act proud ? ‘

‘ hey, could you hold my hand ? ‘

‘ i’d fight you you. ‘

‘ no point in planting roots, cause your gone in a hurry. ‘

‘ seems every time i’m about to despair, there’s a 7-11 right there. ‘

‘ i pray at my altar of slush. ‘

‘ get lost in the pain. ‘

‘ happiness comes when everything numbs. ‘

‘ who needs cocaine ? ‘

‘ the world doesn’t owe you a cent. ‘

‘ the sky’s gonna hurt when it falls so you better start building some walls. ‘

‘ fight pain with more pain. ‘

‘ let nothing remain. ‘

‘ it’s time to rage ! ‘

‘ time for big fun ! ‘

‘ whoa, a hot guy smiled at me without a trace of mockery ! ‘

‘ i think that’s what they call “ third base “. ‘

‘ thirty hours to live, how shall i spend it ? ‘

‘ i’m a dead girl walkin’. ‘

‘ shut your mouth and lose them tighty-whities ! ‘

‘ i’m hot and pissed and on the pill. ‘

‘ you say you’re numb inside but i can’t agree. ‘

‘ so the world’s unfair. ‘

[inspired by this]

“actually… i just miss you.”

“alright, i’ll leave you alone.”

“and slowly… i was forgotten.”

“and then everything just disappears.”

“and where do i go?”

“anyone could tell from here.”

“are you finishing that or…?”

“are you stupid or stupid?”

“anything, just call me, okay?”

“bitch better have my money.”

“bro… that’s so… not cool…”

“but did you do it?”

“call me now. it’s urgent.”

"can’t you listen to me?”

“cross that. don’t answer that.”

“don’t even think about it.”

“don’t you dare walk away.”

“do it. i dare you.”

“did you think i forgot?”

“eventually… you just move on.”

“even if you still do.”

“everything will fall into place.”

“fight me, you attractive stranger.”

“for once, i need you.”

“for once… i was right.”

“for once… i was wrong.”

“forget i even asked you.”

“forget it. you fucking suck.”

“fuck’s sake, what’s your problem?”

“fuck off. i mean it.”

“give and take. that’s life.”

“great. perfect. nice. fuck this.”

“have you lost your mind?”

“hello? it’s me. i was-”

“hey… that wasn’t so nice.”

“here’s a glass of whatever.”

“how about a hug, hm?”

“how about you make me?”

“i haven’t forgot you yet.”

“i can’t be around you.”

“i don’t need you, really.”

“i don’t need this now.”

“is this your first time?”

“it’s just a cut, really.”

“it wasn’t me, i swear!”

“i said i love you.”

“just don’t fuck it up.”

"just… come back alive, okay?”

“just make sure you’ve eaten.”

“kick his ass for me.”

“killed him? wait, what, literally?”

“life really sucks. feel better.”

“letting go hurts… a lot.”

“let me live, will you?”

“no, i don’t need you.”

“nothing can hurt me now.”

“nothing matters anymore to me.”

“okay it was me… so?”

“people lie all the time.”

“pipe the fuck down, asshole.”

“please, you can’t die now.”

“please don’t leave me alone.”

“quiet. they can hear us.”

“quick! give me your phone!”

“quicker, you freaking piece of-”

“quit it or i’ll bite.”

“quit staring! they’ll notice us!”

"really? do i look stupid?”

“real smooth, tripping over air.”

“rise and shine, sweet thing.”

“rise and fucking shine, motherfucker.”

“seriously? give me a break.”

“so… what are we now?”

“so… did you miss me?”

“so… can we go eat?”

“so… when’s the next flight?”

“so… how did everything go?”

“sometimes, i wish you died.”

“so what? you did it.”

“time passes slower without you.”

“then what do you suggest?”

“the fuck? who are you?”

“then you tell me why.”

“this is not working out.”

“this isn’t what i wanted.”

“this is all a fucking disaster.”

“when did it all happen?”

“who knew you’d be here?”

“why do i even bother?”

“why do i love you?”

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“you’re just… so, so stupid.”

“you can’t be here now.”

“you look like an accident.”

“you really need to go.”

“you know who to call.”

me: “Fine, thanks.”

She averted her gaze from her Master; she couldn’t believe things have come to this. Though it was just a kiss…Mordred suddenly felt hotter. Her cheeks were flushed a bright red, and she squirmed where she sat, trying to process what had just happened.

The rules of the game were that whoever the bottle landed on would have to spend an hour in a room with the person who spun the bottle. Mordred had not too many complaints really; she had no problems with women. But…judging by her reaction to her Master’s kiss, the knight’s heart still was a little uneasy about things.