“i would really like to know why i have a playlist on my spotify called ‘songs i’ve beat you in a dance battle to’ with a winky face at the end. actually, no, i know the answer to that and i’m gonna make up for all seven of these ls by kicking his ass. i can’t decide what i’m more salty about, the playlist itself or the fact that ‘cyclone’ by baby bash is at the top of it, and that i actually lost to my number one hoe song. also, i’m changing the account password.”

“it’s midnight and maddox is actually asleep, the cats are sleeping in their little corner, and i’ve gotten a shower in and am cuddled up next to my baby daddy on the couch. i’m the most relaxed i’ve been in like a hot second.”