༘⋆ to whatever end.☘︎ ݁˖ • chapter1
Summary - For years, they existed in the space between friendship and love, too close to be platonic, yet never enough to be real. He treated her like she was his in private, only to pull away the moment things became too serious.
The night she finally chose to walk away from the man who once consumed her entire world, she carried something else with her too.
Four years later, a little girl, or fate perhaps—bring them back to each other.
Genre : second chance romance, unrequited love (at first), slow burn, accidental pregnancy, Friends → strangers → lovers, angst, fluff
Themes : emotionally unavailable! Jungkook , unlabeled relationship, friends with benefits(kind of), fear of commitment, one-sided devotion, accidental pregnancy, absent father (he doesn’t know), girl dad! Jungkook, second chances, yearning, found family, angst with happy ending
Nobody in their friendgroup could explain Jungkook and Y/N. Not really. They never dated, they never even admitted they liked each other.
But everyone knew there was something wrong about the way they orbited each other.
The first time someone asked about it was at Mingyu’s birthday, a long time ago, it was before graduation. Music playing, people half drunk half high, smoke lingering in the air, pizza boxes lay everywhere, cake frosting on every surface. The house was packed, Mingyu wanted to celebrate with all of his uni friends.
Y/N was sitting on the kitchen counter swinging her legs while Jungkook stood between them, leaning against the sink. Their other friends sitting around the kitchen island, discussing about their future plan.
Jungkook and Y/N seem to be living in their own world. Every few minutes Jungkook would lean in to whisper something into her ear which made Y/N giggle and blush.
Jaehyun watched them for ten minutes before finally saying, “Are you two together or what?”
Jungkook laughed immediately. A sharp, careless laugh.
Jungkook and Y/N met during last year of middle school and somehow, despite their differences they got along pretty well. They did not know when it started or how it started, nobody in the group ever called it love. They called it Jungkook and Y/N being Jungkook and Y/N. Which was somehow worse.
Because everyone could see something was wrong with it. Except them. Or maybe they saw it. Maybe they just didn’t stop.
Jaehyun raised a brow. “Then why do you always act like that?”
“We’re just being ourselves.”
Like that explained everything.
Jaehyun joined their friend group only a few months ago.
Jungkook, Mingyu and Eunwoo run a business selling their own clothing brand, which they started during their last year of high school. They named it “97 Label”. Jaehyun was their regular customer until they invited him to join the business.
Y/N hopped down from the counter.
“Exactly,” she said lightly. “Just us being us.”
She grabbed a slice of pizza and walked out to the balcony.
Jungkook watched her go. Then went after her five minutes later.
After graduation, Jungkook dated people. A lot of people. He dated some girls during their college years too but it was just two or three times.
Y/N never said anything about it. But every time he got a new girlfriend, the pattern started again.
Jungkook would disappear for a few weeks and Y/N would pretend he never existed. Sometimes he would call her when things aren’t good with his girlfriends but they never speak of it again the next day. After Jungkook break up with his girlfriend, him and Y/N would go back to how they were. And the cycle never end.
Y/N’s phone would ring late at night.
It was always the same words. Always the same tone. Like he knew she would come. And she always did.
One night she found him sitting on the hood of his car.
The air was cold, the streetlight flickering.
He held out a cigarette infront of her,
“I don’t smoke,” she said shaking her head.
“I know but you still make wishes on them right?”
Whenever Jungkook opens a fresh pack of cigarettes, he would take one out, flip it upside down then she makes a wish on it. They used to do it when they were in high school.
That word hurt more than it should have. Like nothing mattered. Like she was supposed to know the ‘rules’.
“You shouldn’t call me when you’re dating someone.” Y/N stated folding her arms over her chest.
Jungkook looked at her like she’d said something ridiculous, finally taking the cigarette between his lips.
“You’re overthinking again.”
“You do this every time.” She said frustrated but her voice came out soft, normal, practiced.
Jungkook tilted his head.
“You disappear when you’re happy and then come back when you’re bored.”
“You think you’re that important?”
The words landed like a slap.
Y/N went quiet. Her gaze fell toward the floor.
Jungkook saw it and immediately softened his voice. “Hey,” he said, nudging her shoulder. “Don’t start being dramatic.”
That was his way of apologizing.
Not saying sorry. Just pulling her back into orbit and Y/N stayed, like she always did.
Jungkook could be cruel, but he could also be unbelievably gentle. And those two things lived inside the same person.
Y/N never knew which one she was going to get.
That night he made her tea. They sat on the couch watching a random movie neither of them cared about.
At some point Y/N leaned against him, he didn't move away. Instead he rested his chin on her head.
"You're always cold," he murmured. He pulled a blanket over her shoulders. His fingers absentmindedly brushing her arm.
Little things like that. Little things that made it impossible to leave.
Later, when it got late, Y/N ended up in his bed. It wasn't new. It had happened before.
Afterwards Jungkook always did the same strange routine.
He'd pull her close, kiss her forehead. Then disappear into the bathroom and come back with a towel.
Like she was something delicate, something precious.
Then he'd pull her into the shower with him, warm water running over both of them. He'd wash her hair, carefully, like someone who loved her. But Jungkook didn't love her, not like that.
At least that's what he told everyone. Jungkook didn’t like to think about it and Y/N never forced him.
After showers he always cooked even if it was midnight.
Eggs, toast, sometimes ramen.
Y/N would sit on the kitchen counter watching him move around the kitchen.
"You'd make a really good boyfriend," she said once. She didn't mean it say it out loud but she had always pictured him.
"I'm a terrible boyfriend."
He slid the plate toward her. "Eat."
She smiled softly. Moments like that made it easy to forget his careless words, or the fact that she didn't actually matter to him.
Until… Jungkook became a completely different person.
At a hangout two weeks later, Ava showed up.
Pretty, confident. The type of girl people noticed when she walked in. Jungkook noticed too. Everyone saw it. Y/N saw it.
Ava doesn't talk much, only when necessary, her voice is sharp, calm and clear. Her confidence makes her attractive. She was an exchange student back in uni, everyone had heard about her before but she hardly interact with anybody.
Y/N is different, she talk with everyone, she slip into conversation easily and she can adjust herself to whatever situation. She doesn’t stand out as much as Ava did, but she’s known by everyone too, she’s simple, kind, easy. That’s what Jungkook like about her. Easy
Jungkook laughed more around Ava, talked more and leaned closer when he did that.
Y/N sat on the couch beside Jiho pretending she didn't care.
Another thing about Y/N is that she never show her true emotions or confess her feelings because of the fear of sounding pathetic.
Eunwoo watched the whole thing with a tight jaw.
Eunwoo is the opposite of Y/N, he speak his mind, show his emotions freely and he never let anyone change his opinion easily.
He knew Y/N as long as he had known Jungkook, they were the ultimate trio in high school before they adopted Mingyu and Jiho. Eunwoo is observant, very observant. He saw the way Jungkook and Y/N looked at each other, the way they act towards each other, before anyone else did. It pissed him off because he love Jungkook like his own brother and Y/N like his own sister, he knew that Jungkook would never want to make it official with Y/N and he also wouldn't let her go, and that Y/N will never confront Jungkook and even if she did she will always go back to him as long as her heart can take.
Later that night Jungkook walked past Y/N in the kitchen.
"You like her." She spoke
Jungkook shrugged. "She's interesting."
"Why?" raising an eyebrow.
She forced a smile. "Because you deserve someone you actually like."
Jungkook laughed. "You sound jealous."
"I'm not. Why would I be?."
"Good." He said lightly. Then he added, "Because there's nothing to be jealous about."
The worst part wasn't the girlfriends. It was the way Jungkook acted when it was just them.
Because when no one else was around...
He would steal food off her plate, lean his head on her shoulder during movies, call her at 2 in the morning just to talk about nothing.
One time, during a storm, the power went out at Mingyu's house. Everyone sat in the living room with candles.
Y/N was sitting on the floor. Jungkook dropped down beside her and rested his chin on her shoulder.
Like it was natural. Like he belonged there.
Eunwoo stared at them. "You two are unbelievable."
Jungkook looked up. "What now?"
"You keep on acting like that." He gesture, pointing where Jungkook was resting his head.
"Relax it’s nothing. Y/N's just delusional sometimes." he joked.
Jungkook shrugged lazily. "She reads too much into things." Then he ruffled her hair. "Right?"
But that night when she went home, she cried.
Just quietly into her pillow.
Because the worst part was... he would say things like that in front of people. But when they were alone, he'd whisper things like "You know you're my favorite person, right?"
Three days later, Ava and Jungkook were officially dating.
Ava was the first girlfriend who noticed.
She watched the way Jungkook's eyes followed Y/N across rooms. The way Y/N always knew exactly what he meant before he finished sentences.
One night Ava asked him directly.
Jungkook didn't even hesitate.
"Then why do you look at her like that?"
"She's just someone I grew up with."
Ava nodded slowly, but she started noticing something else.
Y/N was always the one leaving. Not him.
Y/N disappeared from his life overnight.
No messages, no late night calls, no "come over."
Y/N immediately pull back as soon as she heard they were officially dating.
She mute his socials, never glance toward him, and always choose the farthest seat from his.
And Jungkook acted like she'd never existed.
At hangouts he sat beside Ava. Held her hand, kissed her cheek.
Y/N stayed quiet. She never reacted nor acknowledge them.
Like someone who had never spent nights in his bed. Like someone who had never been kissed slowly in the kitchen while pasta boiled on the stove.
Eunwoo couldn't stand it.
One night he pulled Jungkook aside.
“You're actually fucking disgusting. I told you to stop doing this to her.”
Jungkook scoffed. “She knew what it was.”
Jungkook shrugged. “Nothing serious.”
Eunwoo shook his head, pure disappointment in his eyes. "You're going to destroy her."
Jungkook rolled his eyes.
“She's fine. She doesn’t need you to stand up and be a hero for her. It’s not like she’s in love with me or something.” He muttered the last few words.
She just refused to let anyone see it.
The relationship with Ava lasted three months.
And the cycle started again.
Y/N was practicing her latte art when her phone buzzed. She always wanted to be a barista and open her own cafe.
Her heart sank. She knew she shouldn't answer.
She knew exactly what was coming. Jiho had warned her. She had promised her she wouldn't answer when he text.
Three dots appeared immediately.
When Y/N knocked on the door, Jungkook opened it with a crooked smile.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
"Not anymore." He stepped aside. "Come in."
Everything went back to normal.
Like the last three months had never happened.
Movie nights, cooking, his arm around her waist while they brushed their teeth side by side.
Sometimes he'd look at her in this quiet way, soft and thoughtful, caressing her cheek softly and telling her how beautiful she is.
Like he meant something and Y/N would almost believe it.
Until someone asked, again. A question that felt too familiar.
It happened during a party.
Someone noticed the way Jungkook kept his hand possessively on her waist and the way Y/N leaned into him.
Jungkook laughed immediately.
"Damn, you act like a couple. Fucking weird don’t ya think?”
Jungkook rolled his eyes.
"Nah, she's not even close to my type."
Y/N felt the words hit her chest.
Jungkook kept talking. "And she's like family."
Y/N laughed too. Because what else was she supposed to do?
Later that night Jungkook found her sitting alone outside on the porch.
Y/N gave him a small smile.
Jungkook sat down beside her and lit a joint.
"You know I didn't mean anything by that."
"You know." He shrugged lazily.
"That i'm not your type?."
Jungkook nodded, "Yeah…But you're Y/N." He added like that fixed it.
Then he leaned down and kissed her temple.
Jungkook dated other girls. Ignored Y/N completely during those times, then came back when things ended and every time he came back, he was sweet again.
Gentle, attentive, cooking for her, pulling her into warm showers, kissing the back of her neck while she laughed.
Like they belonged to each other.
Everyone knew it, even Y/N.
One evening, they were all sitting in a café discussing about their brand new release.
Everyone was present, and by everyone I mean, Jungkook, Eunwoo, Jaehyun, Mingyu, Y/N, Jiho and Jungkook's new girlfriend.
Jungkook had his arm around his girlfriend. Y/N was laughing with Jiho about something.
Eunwoo suddenly slammed his glass down.
Eunwoo pointed between Jungkook and Y/N.
"You're sitting next to your girlfriend but you keep on glancing toward Y/N every few seconds."
Jungkook rolled his eyes. "Jesus, Eunwoo. Keep your delusional thoughts to yourself."
"No, seriously," Eunwoo speak already fed up. "Did you tell your girlfriend that you already did everything you're doing with her?"
Mingyu nodded like he agreed with Eunwoo.
Jiho glared at Eunwoo because this clearly is not the time to say things like that, but for Eunwoo there’s no such thing as the right or wrong time to talk about his opinion or his view on something, every time and everywhere is always the right place. Jiho hold Y/ N's hand tightly under the table to comfort her.
Jaehyun sat in between glancing around awkwardly as Jungkook's girlfriend shifted in her seat trying to make herself comfortable which isn't working.
"That was before, we weren't even together. I would never date her."
The words were casual. Careless.
But Y/N heard them. Every single word. And something inside her broke.
“Yeah, well, maybe don’t call her every night, then.” Jiho spit back.
Y/N nudge her under the table clearing her throat. Jungkook didn’t talk back, he sat in his place his arms no longer around his girlfriend anymore. He looked angry, annoyed, confused.
“Okay back to work.” Mingyu break the silence pulling everyone away from their thoughts and calming down the tension.
A few minutes later, after the tension disappeared and the subject changed.
Y/N stood up. Excused herself saying she's feeling a bit light headed. Grabbed her bag and walked out before anyone could protest.
Jungkook frowned he knew it wasn't becuase she was feeling unwell, but he doesn't say anything.
At first Jungkook thought it was another one of their cycles.
A few days, maybe a week. Then she'd answer his calls again.
She stopped coming to hangouts. Stopped replying to messages.
Stopped existing in his life.
Jungkook finally asked Jiho,
"Did she say something to you?"
"You really don't get it."
"She's clearly not okay and you’re the no.1 reason." she rolled her eyes at him.
"That’s not it, she'd tell me if there's anything wrong." He say more to himself than Jiho, and he knew what he had just told himself is a complete lie.
A month and a half later Jungkook saw her infront of a bookstore, standing by herself. Her jacket hang loosely around her figure, her skirt covering half her thigh and a tote bag on her shoulder.
He had heard from Mingyu that she’s working at a bookstore to save up extra money.
Jungkook hate to admit that he had visited four bookstores in the past few weeks because he wanted, no, he needed to see her. Mingyu didn't know the name of the place where she worked, Jaehyun have no idea as well, Jiho and Eunwoo won't definitely tell him.
Jungkook missed her, it was obvious to his friends, to everyone. But they never bring it up or tease him about it because they know that he will always say the same thing.
Jungkook walked over slowly.
For a moment, she couldn't speak.
Jungkook hated that smile. Because it did not fully reach her eyes, and it felt fake, distant.
Y/N said, "I think we needed distance.” her voice steady and calm.
Jungkook stepped closer. Something burned in his chest was it anger? or was it sadness? or maybe fear even.
"You can't just disappear like that."
Y/N looked at him for a long moment.Jungkook wasn't the type to say sorry, he wasn't the type to explain himself or the type to beg. Jungkook liked Y/N and kept her around because she never question him, she never ask for more, she's safe, comforting and easy. She never made Jungkook think too much about his feelings and he liked that.
Jungkook did not want to lose her, and maybe he did like her like that, maybe he did love her, but Jungkook chose not to think about it, because it's easier like this, safer.
"You said you'd never date someone like me." Y/ N speak after a long silence. She didn't know why she said that,was it because she wanted an explanation or to let him know that he's always, constantly hurting her.
Jungkook opened his mouth then closed it. He had said that. A hundred times. Like it meant nothing.
Y/N adjusted her bag strap that was falling of her shoulder. "You don't have to pretend with me anymore."
Jungkook didn't answer because he didn't know.
All he knew was that suddenly, without Y/N around everything felt strangely empty and that he didn’t want to lose her.
She nodded like she understood what the silence meant and walked away.
Jungkook grabbed her wrist.
She turned, and for the first time in years there was no hope in her eyes. Just quiet acceptance.
"I didn't mean those things."
"Then why are you leaving?"
'Because if I stay, I'll keep loving you in a way that you never wanted.'
She wanted to tell him that, let him know that she’s giving him her everything, that she loves him, that she wants him to let her go because she won’t be able to walk away, not when she love him this much.
But instead she said something simpler, “I don’t want to be the second choice anymore.”
After the words left her mouth, her shoulder relaxed and she breathe out.
Has she been holding her breath this entire time? She didn’t know, couldn’t recall.
Jiho never left Y/N’s side. Comforting her when she needed it and giving her reality check when she say things like, “I should text him back.” “Should I pick up his call?” “I miss him.” .
Jiho wanted Y/N to tell Jungkook herself that she’s done with his bullshit, or tell him that she’s in love with him and walk away to protect her peace. Y/N thought the first option sound the safest, less pathetic.
Jungkook looked at her walk away for a long time, not knowing what to say or do.
And for the first time, he felt unsure, unsure of his feelings, unsure of what the pain in his chest meant.
For the first time he realised that maybe, just maybe, he had spent years pushing away the one person who would have stayed.
Jaehyun isn’t as close to Y/N as he is to Jungkook or the others.
When he first hung out with them, he saw the way Jungkook stayed beside Y/N, how he held her and whisper sweet nothings to her.
He thought they had something going on, so he never approach Y/N or try to get to know her. And when he heard they were nothing but ‘best friends’, he was beyond disturbed.
Jaehyun didn’t think Y/N lacked self respect because he had once been in her place. A second option. He remembered it painfully clear and that was one of the reasons why Jaehyun never got close to Y/N, because she reminded him of his past self, someone who had been so in love that he failed to see he was losing himself.
Jungkook didn't understand the sudden change in Y/N's behavior.
He liked Y/N, a lot. More than he would ever admit. She was fun, easy to be around, and somehow capable of fitting into any conversation. She could match any mood without trying too hard. Being with her always felt effortless.
Jungkook thought Y/N was special. Not because she stood out, but because she didn't. And somehow, that made her unforgettable.
She never begged for attention, yet people noticed her anyway, she never ignored others either, she greeted people first, offered small smiles when she passed someone she knew, even if they weren't particularly close. She wasn't the loudest person in the room, but she always seemed to know exactly what to say when it mattered.
And Jungkook thought she was beautiful.
Not the kind of beautiful that turned heads the moment she walked into a room. She was the kind of beautiful that made people feel comfortable. Easy to approach. Easy to like.
The closer someone got to her, the more beautiful she became and every little thing they learned about her only gave them another reason to stay.
Maybe that was the problem.
Jungkook hated feeling tied down.
To him, relationships and marriage had always seemed like chains disguised as promises. He had watched his parents fight for years, watched resentment replace affection until their marriage became little more than a battlefield. Love looked exhausting, commitment looked permanent and permanence terrified him.
Why willingly give someone the power to hurt you?
Maybe that was why he had never admitted what Y/N truly meant to him. Because the moment he did, the moment he gave their relationship a name, it would become real.
And real things could break.
When Y/N had looked at him and quietly said,
"I don't want to be the second choice anymore."
He wanted to tell her that she was the first person he thought about when he woke up and the last person he thought about before he fell asleep. He wanted to tell her that every girl he'd ever dated had simply been a distraction from the one person he actually cared about. He wanted to tell her that he wasn't afraid of loving her. He was afraid of losing her.
But he didn't, because Jungkook was a coward.
Y/N had thought that leaving him would make loving him easier.
She had been wrong. Painfully wrong.
The moment she saw him again, she realized nothing had changed. She loved him exactly the same and she didn't know when that love would disappear, or if it ever would.
That night, Jungkook couldn't sleep.
Every message he'd sent remained unread. Every call went unanswered.
Maybe if he heard her voice one more time, he could finally breathe again.
At almost four in the morning, he told himself this would be the last attempt.
Just one more call then he'd stop.
He tapped her name and pressed the call button. To his surprise, she answered.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Jungkook froze, he almost couldn't believe it.
A few seconds later, her voice came through the speaker. "Jungkook?" Soft, sleepy and a little hoarse from being woken up.
"Did I wake you?" he asked, sounding strangely nervous.
"It’s four in the morning," she replied. "Why aren't you asleep?"
Jungkook rubbed a hand over his face. "Yeah... sorry. I didn't think you'd actually pick up." A small pause. "You can go back to sleep."
"I'm awake now," she said. "Do you need something, Jungkook?"
He swallowed. "Yeah." Another pause. "I couldn't sleep." Silence. "And I wanted to hear your voice."
The confession slipped out before he could stop it. The line fell silent again.
Then he asked quietly, “Can I come over?”
Y/N sighed. “Jungkook, don’t do this… this isn’t—“
“I know. I know.” He cut her off. “But I haven't slept properly in weeks.”
His voice cracked slightly. “I just want to see you.”
Another pause. “Please, Y/N.”
And Y/N had never been strong where he was concerned. Love had a way of blinding people, a way of leading them right back to the road they had sworn never to walk again.
Standing outside Y/N's house, Jungkook felt strangely nervous, and strangely happy.
Y/N stood there in a pair of white cotton pajamas.
Jungkook recognized them immediately. One of his favorites.
Her hair was messy from sleep, but her face looked softer than he remembered.
For a moment, neither of them spoke. Then she stepped aside, letting him in and she walk straight towards her bedroom while Jungkook followed her inside.
"I'm sorry I hurt you," he said quietly as they reached her bedroom. Y/N stopped and turned toward him. "Let's not talk about it right now." Her voice was gentle. "I want to finish my dream."
A small smile appeared on Jungkook's face, he nodded.
Y/N slipped beneath her blankets.
A second later, Jungkook climbed in beside her. It felt natural.
Y/N turned her back towards him and was asleep again within minutes. Jungkook watched her for a moment. Then he moved closer.
His arm slid around her waist, pulling her against him.
He pressed a kiss to her shoulder, and for the first time in a month, Jungkook slept.
The next morning, Y/N woke to the sound of her phone ringing. Still half asleep, she reached for it. Then she felt it. His warmth, his scent, his arm draped around her waist.
She turned her head slightly. Jungkook was still asleep. He looked peaceful, calm.
A small smile tugged at her lips.
Carefully, she lifted his arm and reached for her phone.
She answered and before she could even say hello, Mingyu started talking. “Good morning, Y/N. Don't forget about today. Remind Jungkook too. Bye!”
The call ended immediately. Y/N blinked.
Behind her, she felt movement. Jungkook sat up, still sleepy. One hand rested on the mattress beside her while the other settled on her arm, "Who was that?" he mumbled.
His lips brushed against her shoulder.
"He called about your release celebration." She turned to look at him. "He also told me to remind you." A pause. "Did you tell him you were coming here?"
Jungkook hum in agreement his arm wrapped around her waist. Then he pressed another soft kiss against her neck.
And just like that, they were right back where they started.
The same love neither of them seemed capable of letting go.
Note : Hi pretty people!! What do you think of this chapter? I know it’s messy but yea i’m trying my best lmao. Jungkook’s a bitch🙄. And Y/N’s pathetic even though that’s the last thing she wanted to be. Ik it’s a bit confusing but idk how to fix it or make it better, sorry:( . Omg guys im so sorry. When i type too fast, i would accidentally type out Jungkook’s name as Hungkook and that would autocorrect as Henry😭😭 so sorry. I’ve corrected two of em if there’s more mistake pls do tell me
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