kiss the sky.

{CONRAD} —- “Well…”

That wouldn’t be easy to explain. But despite the fact that he has fun with his masked persona and would literally die to protect Anthiese, he does plan on one day putting his lance down. If he became a knight he wouldn’t be able to do that.

{CONRAD} —- “Because after the war back in Valentia is over, I don’t wish to fight anymore. I’ll have duties other than fighting to worry about, and being a knight will be the last thing on my mind.”

Surely that made sense?

Tears fall, and more follow, even as he tries to hold it all in. He wants to be as strong as he has to be, he wants to be what everyone around him wants and needs, but he just can’t— he’s a boy from a village with shoes too large to fill, yet shoes he had been born to fill. And that was just the problem wasn’t it?

Alm sniffles as Tobin pushes away, closing his eyes as hands wiped his tears, and there’s something so tender and familiar about it— like he can let himself forget, and it’ll just be them. Not people fighting for the future, just kids from a village, trying to hold themselves afloat after a godawful day.

If only it were that simple, and yet he tries to smile for Tobin, smile for a friend whom he loved regardless of how that love had taken shape over the years, reaching out to wipe his tears in kind. Yet his own don’t stop, no matter how much he tries to level his head and plaster a confident smile. “I’m sorry Tobin. I’m… trying not to cry. I’m… trying to be… what all of you need me to be.” His voice wavers as he speaks, and he can’t help but wince. “I want to just… wave it all away… and it’ll be over and I’ll just do what I… what I have to do.”

He wants to do what Tobin tells him, and he really wishes it were as easy as knowing he’s not meant to cry or be sad, that he’s supposed to be happy and completely okay with this. His failed attempt at a smile is empty, and so is the void that grows in his heart. “Tobin, I… it’s a lie. It’s all been a lie.” His left hand falls away from Tobin’s cheek and onto his shoulder, the exhale that leaves him droops his shoulders and turns his gaze to their feet.

“I wanted to believe we were all cut of the same cloth. That everyone could do anything, no matter the station of their… birth. I… I believed in us…” All of them, everyone from Ram. “That if I was at the top… it was because I proved myself. That I had been taught well, and any commoner who was… could. And yet I… I’m…”

He’s a noble, and suddenly nothing makes sense. Suddenly his vision of the world is shattered, and the people he thought he was proving wrong had been right all along. All he believed in— everything he had thought…

…

… It just wasn’t true. He championed for the common folk while being a noble in disguise. Some sick joke this turned out to be. “I wish it was you carrying this banner, and not someone like me. Not some… some hidden blueblood…” And a kin slayer at that.

With that, Tobin found himself breaking down. More tears had streamed down his face and his breath hitched as he found it harder to catch it. He wanted to be a strong knight like the members of the Deliverance, but sometimes he wished nothing more than to return home. He had thought about when he was younger and when he would cry so much in his mother’s arms until his eyes hurt. It was okay to cry then but now... He had never seen the older men shed any tears, rather, he saw a stoic face immortalized by the waging battles they fought. 

Yet, it couldn’t stop him from finally letting out what he had been building up for the past while. He pressed his face into Alm’s shoulder, wrapping his arms around the other’s waist. At this point, he couldn’t even try to hush his sobs, instead he just tried his best not to get snot on his friend’s clothes.  ❝ Sh-Shit... I’m so sorry, Alm, I didn’t... It’s okay to just... Let it all out. ❞ He gave his friend a pat on the back as he continued to sniffle in between breaths.

❝ Look, I... I always wanted to be your rival, y’know? You’ve always been so good at everything you do and I wanted to be great just like you were. ❞ He started to fiddle with the loose fabric on the back of Alm’s clothes as he spoke. ❝ But you haven’t bested me all these years ‘cause you’re secretly a noble or some shit like that... ❞ Tobin made the attempts to steady his breath while he thought about what he had to say and how exactly to phrase it. The last thing he wanted was to just make things worse, but he feared he already had. ❝ You proved yourself through training and all that, but you’ve also got the strength, courage, and compassion of a leader-- You’re great because you’re you, not  because of your blood. ❞    

❝ I... I’m afraid that I don’t understand. ❞ He had made the attempts to navigate his way around the new world that he had appeared in, yet he couldn’t fully wrap his head around the fellow soldiers that he had fought beside. Forsyth was worried that he wouldn’t be able to find Lukas, and yet despite it all, there he was flesh and blood. He pressed a hand to his lover’s cheek before slowly moving in for a kiss. The knight had wanted it to feel familiar, yet, it felt foreign and strange. They were alone, so there shouldn’t have been any fear or apprehension... Why was it so different?  

{CONRAD} —- “Of course. I’m just embarrassed. That’s all.”

The prince lowered his head, a hand going to the mask. A moment later his eyes could be seen again. Conrad raised his head again, only to rest against Leon’s head. He’s glad that he’s here. That he’s no longer alone and was allowed to go and join his sister on her journey to Duma tower. For if it wasn’t for that, he may have never met Leon or been able to do anything with his life.

As the other wrapped his arms around him, he felt warm. Happy. Safe. He didn’t wish for this to end.

{CONRAD} —- “I would hope that is the case. While I do feel more cool and dashing as the masked knight, he isn’t really me. I’d rather have people love me rather than him.”

Conrad took a deep breath before he leaned in, though he quickly became nervous again and instead pressed a kiss to the other’s cheek instead of his original plan.

Leon let out a slight laugh, holding onto him closer and counting the heartbeats that he could hear from Conrad’s chest.  ❝ It’s a good thing that you’re the man that I fell in love with then, I wouldn’t have it any other way. ❞ He leaned to press a kiss to his lover’s cheek before pulling away and standing up to look out the window. The archer noticed the inches of frost that began to form on the edges of glass, as the chill slowly moved in. 

My Lord Alm,

I must apologize for the suddenness of this letter, but for it is that I write to you with the utmost haste. I regret to inform you that I will be leaving for Archanea by sunrise. Farewells are often somber, yet the broken spirit that I bare is nothing like how I had felt when I was first found upon that lonely shore. I was a broken man then, yet the longer I dwell the more I realize the sinister errors that I had committed in the past. If you were to know that cruelness of what I had done… I don’t know if you could still hold me to the standard that you have. However, if there is anyone that can understand my yearnings to come to terms with my true identity, I believe it to be you, my Lord. Identity is what makes the person who they are, and to neglect it is an act of attrition against oneself. 

Longing to make things right is one thing, but to leave what I have come to know behind is another. Tatiana is my beloved sun– for her I will rise even in my darkest hour. She is beautiful, though I cannot help but be devastated when I try to speak of my situation. Seeing her bare such sorrow is worse than any pain that I will have to burden. If I wait any longer before I take my leave, I surely will have passed up the opportunity that I have been given to make things right. If Tatiana were to know of my whereabouts… I fear that her heart wouldn’t be able to take it. 

Until then, please if you could do a servant of your will a single favor, please inform her how much I deeply love and appreciate her. If I had more time, I do not doubt that I would on for pages at a time speaking her praise. But for now, I only have few– So perhaps when I return, my sweet nothings shall mean all so much more. If she shall have it, I’d want nothing more than to take her hand the moment that I step foot back into Valentia. To be her husband would be the greatest honor I could ever behold.

Stay well, my Lord, and may you never forget who you are. 

Regards,

Ezekiel 

Alm’s wavering smile turns to a look of concern as he tilts his head and observes Saber, who seems to… be having a headache. Oh boy— was it too much to ask right now? The man had been drinking before he interrupted, after all. His words of concern die at his throat, however, as the other speaks, giving the advice he had sought after at first.

Advice that, at first, makes him nod simply and easily. He did at the very least know that much, for certain, but as the man continues to speak, he pauses his motions and stares, skin growing a little pale at the thought and implications. Of course, he knew his way around a fight and had gotten out of terrible traps before, but one experience did not dictate the result of the next, or so he had come to learn, and the fact that this happened out in the open in the streets was…

Well, it was mortifying. Ruthlessness in the field was expected, ruthlessness in a marketplace was… terrifying. Gulping down his nerves was hard enough when hearing that there was a ‘first’ location, and coming to learn that if he’s not careful he could even end up out of the country? He couldn’t stop his jaw from hanging loose as he stared at Saber with what was both disbelief and concern.

“That… happens?” He asks, more concerned than disbelieving (and his disbelief is honestly directed more at someone actually being capable of doing this, rather than at the man’s words themselves), leaning forward and clasping at the now empty glass of water like he would drown otherwise.

Well, sure, he’s seen worse, but maybe someone else hasn’t, and what if they got caught, and—

Okay, deep breaths.

“I, uh… thank you for the advice, Saber.” Alm says, hesitant, as he tries to think of what else he could say. How does one even deal with this sort of… thing? He had a lot of people to speak to when he returned to the castle, and a lot more to call to investigate. And… “I’d, uh… no, no, nevermind, this is… we are here on vacation…” He sounded more like he was reminding himself at this point, voice falling to a mutter.

“But if you don’t mind me asking, uh… how did you find out about… this? Experience?” He hoped not. It was impossible for Alm to disguise the concern in his expression at this point.

❝ Those devils always got somethin’ up their sleeve and by Mila do they do that shit often. Best way around it is just showin’ ‘em whose boss, show em that thick skin of your’s! ❞ He gave Alm another strong pat on the back before taking another sip of his water that he was given from the bartender. Then, with a grin, he rolled up his sleeves and kicked one of his boots up on the shaking bar table. So the kid wanted to hear a story, huh? Well he might as well give one that Alm wouldn’t forget-- no matter how true or exaggerated the tale would be. 

❝ I remember this young lad, probably not much older than yourself, who got himself wrapped up with the Snatchers. I tried to warn ‘em and he didn’t even so as listen to my warnings! Then he went off to try and get some of that special shit from one of the merchants around here, damned seller wanted ‘bout ten gold pieces for just a bottle of hard liquor. That merchant was all ‘ you wanna look at what I’ve got in my secret collection? ’ Then Jes-- The kid was all ‘ Yeah sure, whatever you lucky lady. ’ Let me tell you, lad. Luck wasn’t on that kid’s side, no sir! ❞ 

Saber ran a hand through his hair before taking out the knife that was sheathed into his hip guard. As he spoke, he played with it and watched as his reflection traced along the metal blade.  ❝ If it weren’t for me, he’d be gone for sure. By the time I got there, I saw him knocked out to hell and back. If I was but a few moments late, I’m sure they’d have done somethin’ real fierce to ‘em. ❞ He then took the blade and stabbed the map at one of the merchant booths-- piercing through the table slightly.