sad girl.

           trying to get his mind onto something else for a while, proved to be more difficult than he had expected. he felt like he was going to lose his mind at one point. wandering around at home, all he could see was samantha –– the photos on the walls and the piece of art she had left behind on the frame of the kitchen door when she had been younger, lingered like a open wound and it caused the mourning family to be reminded of samantha constantly. not that he didn’t want to be reminded of her, but right now, those memories were tainted by the pain they were all feeling, it was difficult to see anything else.

            deciding that he needed a break from the house and everything, jamie grabbed his skateboard and earphones before heading outside. it didn’t take long until jamie was on the open road, his head protected by his old, dark-grey helmet. as he was lost in his own train of thought, jamie didn’t really pay attention to anything happening in front of him which was obviously stupid because before he could slow down to a complete stop, he heard a voice and both of his eyes widened as he turned the skateboard, and himself, to the side. it went into the side of the pavement, and within seconds, jamie flew and landed on the ground. “ ugh, ” he groaned loudly, shaking his head as he sat back on his ass, his forearms resting on top of his knees. then he realized he had almost hit someone. “ shit, are you okay? ” 

         the streets had this empty feeling to them nowadays, as if everything stood just a couple seconds ahead in time and she further and further behind, blending into a background of blue and gold. mountains outlined in blueish grey fade behind a girl’s thin silhouette, skinny legs carrying her down the sidewalk carelessly, wishbone ankles flaunting a delicate silver bracelet that shimmers with stray speckles of sun. one hand fumbling with a bag of multicolored gummy bears, the other adjusting a slightly misplaced earphone that keeps shifting with each bumpy step.

“you wouldn’t want to be too interesting?” Cassandra narrowed her eyes at the other in confusion. “That’s the sort of thing people say when they’ve got the most interesting type of secret.” she teased. “but coming from you and your lack of alcohol experience I doubt that’s the case.” 

Cassandra scoffed tossing her sleek long blonde hair behind her shoulder. “more like tequila - go big or go home right?” 

cheek draw near her shoulder,  angel’s quick to dam her teeth  &   pick at the insides of insides rosy cheeks to keep those words sewn shut.   “    nothing out of the ordinary.   ”    in that same beat, she promptly and purposefully steers cassandra away from digging any further into that marked spot.  

she chewed on the corner of her mouth, a brow curt up In surprised as she listened to the female talk. “Its a let’s do something mildly amusing type of fun,” Victoria mused, shrugging her shoulders casually. She was sick of feeling sad–– of feeling like everyone’s lives had come to a halt and she was just left to fester in the pain. So she was turning it into something more. “C’mon, let me take your mind off the day,” she cooed soothingly. By no means did she wish to baby her. She just wanted some company. A different form of company.

Cassandra rolled her eyes playfully. “Don’t be absurd. Drinking just makes everything more interesting, or rather it makes people more interesting.” Most times Cassandra preferred to people watch, figure out what made them tick, their weaknesses, watch them make fools of themselves, her mind, calculating.

Cassandra actually laughed at her admission. “So? I’m sure you’ve had a drink before 21 - i’m sure everyone I know has. That’s not an excuse. Have you really not had a proper drink yet? Champagne doesn’t even come close to counting.”

she twists  &   squeezes the pillow case’s crumbled end with spindly digits ,   reminiscent and passive,  breath synced with each slow rise of her chest,  chin buried in soft cotton,  a wide pair of eyes flickering between reality   &   reminiscence.  “   i wouldn’t wanna get too interesting.   ”      she muses aloud,  voice muffled and distant.  

prying eyes weave through a sea of people, searching for one in particular. he hadn’t planned on coming out tonight, his friend practically dragging him out of the house. he holds a glass of whiskey in his hands, top shelf, neat. he sips on it as he waits for fate to bring him what he desires most — and he always gets what he wants. he reaches up to loosen the tie around his neck, just enough to breathe a little easier. the suit he wore made it almost unbearably hot, but he wouldn’t be caught dead going out in anything less. he searches the crowd again, – one more time, he tells himself – desperate to find her, if only just to look at her again. 

his eyes light up when he finally sees her stumbling off the dance floor, right toward him. he stays exactly where he is, waiting for her to come to him. his smile widens when her body collides with his, steady hands catching her waist so she wouldn’t fall. “angel,” her name ( at least the only one he knows ) drips off his tongue like smooth honey. “it seems fate has brought us together once again.” 

for all the grandiosity and praise this small piece of paradise evokes,  staying in this place had only brought tragedy into her life.  she should’ve left, broken, homeless, friendless  - she’d have been better off under a bridge than in in this bed she’d made for herself.  it had started to feel a lot like a bird box, these last couple months; walls closing in with each labored breath she takes with the sharpness of a dagger,  familiar faces at every corner.  everything that was once familiar feels so foreign to her, now;  even the reflection that follows her across the club.

“….non-alcoholic…fun?” Cassandra’s face twisted in confusion. “i’ve rarely heard those two words used in the same sentence.” Looking up from her phone Cassandra gave the brunette a once over her brows still furrowed. “And why can’t you drink? You’re not on a cleanse of some sort are you?” 

samantha never really introduced him to her friends. he never wanted her to. other than dahlia, which was more accidental than anything planned. but he knew of them and they knew of him. most of her friends are messy and chaotic, so different from what his life has been all about. so damn controlled. but behind the perfect facade of composure is something darker, always threatening to creep out. he watches her from far away. the sadness in her eyes is the thing that makes him walk to her. not that he needs an excuse. she’s a model and he’s a photographer and this is a work thing. “can’t? because if you really want to then youll secret is safe with me.”

a chortle dies in her throat ;  muffled by the weight of memories.  her first drink was probably her last drink  - at least that’s what she’ll tell herself until she crumbles to peer pressure.  a mane of mocha brown sways behind her while she shakes her head,   “   no, no... i’m good. really -  i don’t drink.   ”    she’s still avoiding eye contact,  a minute into the conversation - whenever her eyes flicker, they never linger for long enough to even memorize his features.   “   but...  sure, i’ll be there.   ”     adjusting the strap of her highly oversized bag,   she shifts on her heel awkwardly trying to skip past him.    “   i mean - beats staying at home moping, right?     ”

immediately his features soften, realising how blunt he had sounded as she raises her guard to him. “sorry, ana,” he murmured, shaking his head as he lets out a defeated sigh. “i’m just on edge– cops sniffing around, and i’m certain that i’m being followed. it’s… eating me away.” he sinks himself into the sofa, reaching for the water bottle filled with a clear liquid that certainly wasn’t a form of hydration. “no, don’t go.” he says, “tell me what’s been going on with you. how are you holding up?”

it feels heavy here; now - heavy  &  empty all at once, each labored step moving through ghosts of memories, trapped behind the walls of this haunted house.   “   it’s ok.  ”   she coos, flames stomped, head low, approaching with caution.   small fingers trace every dusty edge of the couch, guilt lodged in her throat, her insides feel knotted and twisted as the plops down the seat beside him, nape thrown back   &   shoulders bumping.   “    i’ve been thinking about growing a beard and joining the circus.    ”     she chips, forcing on a morose smile for him.    “   did you have anything to eat today?    ”

“what’s that phrase?” harvey asked, eyes boring into the person who’s gaze appeared fixated on himself. “take a picture and perhaps it will last a little longer, something like that.” his words were cold, but could you blame him? his entire sense of self was crumbling piece by piece the more he was questioned, the more he was looked at like a criminal. even his own family seemed dubious of him, not that he was surprised. “if you’re here to accuse me of something then by all means, get it off your chest. it wouldn’t be anything i haven’t heard before.”

it startles her, at first  -  the cutting edge of his tongue ;   her feet stagger  &   she recoils within herself as if it’d somehow make her disappear into thin air like a magic trick.   it doesn’t.    “   jesus, harvey,   ”    the muffled sigh of exasperation falls as her thin silhouette slants against the door frame,  dewy eyes glazed with melancholy, looking off into nowhere in particular, wondering weather she deserved that. but she already had the answer to that.    “   no,   ”     denying the implication in a curt note, she tightens her mouth as shoulders lift  &  drop down in casual dismissal.    “    don’t really know why i came here, to be honest.   do you want me to leave?    ”

&&. isn’t that [ CAMILA QUEIROZ ] walking around the hamptons? oh no, nevermind it’s just [ ANA COSTA ]. y'know, the [ 18 ] year old  [ CIS FEMALE ] known to be quite [ KIND and GULLIBLE ] but also [ INDECISIVE and DUPLICITOUS ]. currently, the police has them as [ NOT A PERSON OF INTEREST ] in the case of samantha wheeler, because they [ WERE SAMANTHA’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND ]. but they go on about their life as [ A STUDENT/PART TIME MODEL ]. i wonder what secrets they’re keeping? [ lenny/23/gmt+3/she/her ]

heey guys, i’m lenny aka admin l, aka your local mess. you’re probably gonna be seeing a lot of intros from me, so let’s get this ball rolling already