Shower Thots

Teachers get too much hate - they have to deal with bullying, annoying kids, class clowns, special ed kids, kids who sleep in class, and they educate the future generation on a subpar salary.

Mainly just sharing because subpar salary is wayyy true.

Who needs friends to talk to when you can write long notes containing irrational thoughts on your phone.

A snake that is 3.14 meters long is a π-thon.

It doesn’t matter how ugly you are mosquitoes think you’re a snack

Amazons popularity isn’t because of it’s convenience, it’s because there is no human interaction.

since april fool’s day is tomorrow i would like to remind everyone that my entire existence is a massive joke

Some vegans are vegan because of the principle that an animal has not given consent to used or slaughtered, thus it it immoral. So if a human expresses clear consent that they want to be eaten, cannibalism could be morally considered vegan.

It’d be interesting to see our life stats when we die. “You walked 1,000,000kms” “you said “fuck” 385,000 times”

Very poor people are “dirt poor”. Very rich people are “filthy rich”. Everyone’s just a mess.

If you dodge a punch it looks badass, if you dodge a fake punch you look scared and weak.

Movie car chases are going to be a lot quieter when electric cars become the norm.

Most bugs are immune to death by falling

If you were invisible, you could have a perfectly normal relationship with a blind person

‘Just saying’ is the 'no homo’ of free speech.

Being a death row chef must be great because they can never hear bad feedback on their food.

If the universe wasn’t infinite it would be even scarier

A single tree can make a thousand matches, and a single match can burn a thousand trees to the ground