babyblue

night plunged the street into darkness. yellow lights cast a soft glow over the ground, just enough to see the pavement clearly. as the blocks passed by, the noisy pubs, the excited people talking about the latest match and the laughter turned into a faint murmur, fading away along with the crowds. by the time you reached home, there weren’t many people left on the street; after all, it was late. and as you two walked down the street and his eyes were focused on the darkness of the sky, all you could do was stare at him.

you’d spent that evening with a group of friends in a pub, nothing too wild – just a couple of shots, a couple of pints and lots of laughter. you’d been begging Liam all week to come with you, until he finally agreed. lately, for some reason unknown to you, he hadn’t been keen to hang out much – at least not with you – and had just been spending time with the lads in his band.

after the pub, as always, Liam walked you home, and when you reached your door, you invited him in.

“wanna stay the night? i've got some vodka.”

it was normal to have sleepovers with Liam, even before you moved into your own flat. as you’d been such good friends, practically since childhood, your mum trusted him completely and knew he wasn’t a threat in any way, as you two never acted suspiciously, or flirted or anything like that. just good friends, that’s all. but the truth is, part of that was a lie. nobody knew and nobody was meant to know; it was a secret you were going to take to your grave or confess to Liam one day when you were both old and had families of your own, just as a joke.

you fancied Liam.

practically from the very first moment you saw him years ago. it’s just that he was always very good-looking. nothing happened because you quickly became best friends; it was as natural as the moment flowers bloom in spring. it wasn’t that he had a specific type, but he was always surrounded by pretty girls because he was gorgeous, so he had plenty to choose from. Lots of them – too many, in fact. he was never on his own. so for those reasons, you didn't even bother trying, thinking you didn't stand a chance. you simply tore that page out of the book and remained great friends with Liam. he was a really good friend.

it was such a close friendship that the two of you spent most of your time together. now that you were older and each had your own responsibilities – in your case, studying – perhaps you couldn’t see each other quite as often, but you did remain close. as you grew up, Liam would spend afternoons or even days on end at your house. his mum worked a lot, so she was hardly ever at home and he got bored easily, but the main reason he liked being at your place was the space. since you were an only child, you had your own room at your parents’ house; there was no chaos apart from your own mess. Liam, on the other hand, shared a room with his brother, who was always nagging him about tidiness, even though Noel was just as messy.

“now that’s a good plan,” he’d say whenever you offered him to stay the night. “don’t want to go home to r'kid. he’ll probably be bringing his bird tonight and I’ll end up sleeping on the couch. ” that was a very common line before Noel moved out of their house. things were different now, but him staying over was still a natural habit.

and this time, Liam nodded in agreement to your suggestion, which surprised you for a moment, as lately whenever you’d invited him over he’d said he couldn’t. however, you didn’t say anything, though you were happy that he’d accepted.

as soon as you walked into your house, Liam took off his jacket and shoes and went to lie on the couch. that was an old routine by now; there was no need to go through all that hostess routine or anything – if he needed anything, he’d just go and get it himself. you went straight to have a shower and change into something more comfortable, put off by the smell of cigarette smoke clinging to your clothes and hair. meanwhile, he’d helped himself to the bottle of vodka you’d mentioned, and when you came out of the shower, you gestured for him to come to your room. there they sat on the carpet drinking and listening to some music. neither of you said a word. at this point there wasn’t much to say because Liam knew practically everything about you and vice versa. besides, you were both such chatterboxes that every now and then a bit of silence did you both good.

“are you coming to rehearsal tomorrow?”

at the question, you turned your head to look at him and nodded.

he was starting a band with three friends and his brother, who wrote the songs. the music was good, although they hadn’t quite finished anything yet, but they seemed quite promising in your opinion. he seemed very determined and that impressed you, as he tended to move from one thing to another quite easily.

you shifted to find a more comfortable position, sitting with your back against the side of the bed. “yes, I think so. i’ve finished my final exams, so I’m free.”

he nodded, taking another sip from the glass he’d prepared.

for a moment you watched him, debating whether or not it was worth bringing up the subject that had been causing you so much curiosity and annoyance lately. but your mouth never seems to heed the stop sign, rushing to spurt out the words.

“i’m surprised you’ve invited me,” you said, picking up the glass for a sip, speaking in a calm tone, almost playing it down, as if it were a joking remark. “you haven’t even wanted to go out with me lately.” his first reaction was to roll his eyes and grumble, before looking at you with amusement.

“you’re dead dramatic.”

“it’s the truth! you’re always off with your mates. you’ve completely forgotten about me.” although it was mostly meant to tease him, beneath the joking tone lay a bitter truth. you’d hardly seen him at all over the last few weeks; there was always an excuse not to go out, whether it was to pop round to your place for a cup of tea or for you to go to his. the plans were there—you’d organise them, giving him an endless array of options in case the reason was a lack of money or a lack of desire to go out—but the answer was always no. at some point, you’d stopped believing his reasons. yes, he was focused on the band and all that, but you’d bumped into Guigsy several times walking through the park with his girlfriend on those days when Noel supposedly had them ‘chained to their instruments’. you didn’t say anything to him on any of those occasions, but his lack of honesty in telling you he didn’t want to or that he had something better to do was starting to get on your nerves. besides, if you had to be honest, you knew he was probably seeing some girl, and that weighed heavily on your heart.

“i spend all my time rehearsing with them,” he explained, his words dripping with obviousness, giving you a matter-of-fact look. but then he added: “it’s just that it’s different now.”

“why?”

“because… you’re a girl.”

you let out a huff of laughter. “so?”

“you know what i mean.”

“no, i don’t."

he sighed. “there are things that…” he shook his head from side to side. “you know.”

realising he was referring to the dirty way he and his mates talked, you rolled your eyes. “oh, it’s just that you can’t do the things you do with them with me. you have no shame.”

Liam laughed at the look of utter disgust on your face, as you looked completely repulsed by what ‘the things they did’ implied. to annoy you even more – typical of him – in one swift movement he grabbed your right wrist, snatching your favourite ring from one of your fingers. he used to take it off you and put it on himself, always saying it was very eye-catching and he liked it, even though it didn’t quite fit his finger as his were chubbier than yours.

“anyway, i’m glad you’re rehearsing,” you added, and as he glanced at you out of the corner of his eye, Liam saw as much sincerity in your eyes as in your voice. “you seem really passionate about it.”

he smiled slightly, now looking down at his hands holding your ring between his fingers, examining the little purple amethyst stone set in it.

“it’s because we’re the best band in the world.” simple, like a universal truth being stated. your lips curved into a gentle smile at such confidence, especially because you believed him. “one of these days someone else is going to see it and we’re going to be big, proper big and all.”

“absolutely,” you agreed immediately, with the same certainty, moving closer. although they were just words, your voice cut straight through his chest; the honesty in it was so sharp that it managed to reach right into his heart. you’d always been the one to follow Liam in his endeavours, to support him and be the first to encourage him to do things that might seem too risky—if they were worth it—and that wasn’t new to him; after all, that’s why you were best friends. however, the gentle caress of your trust enveloping him was a sensation that bathed him in joy as if it were something new. “and I hope that by then you won’t forget about me.”

still smiling at your ring, he fell silent for a few seconds, simply letting the words tickle his throat before plucking up the courage to say them.

“i’m gonna get you outta Manchester.”

and so he said them, as if they were a fact, leaving no room for argument or doubt. as certain as opening your eyes in the morning and looking at the sun, as sure that water is wet and birds sing. as sweet as a spoonful of honey after a cup of coffee.

from the centre of your chest, the warmest tingling sensation spread to every extremity of your body, like being wrapped in sunlight. you didn’t want to think beyond the words—such simple words that meant nothing—but when you’re in love, it’s impossible not to look straight at the sun and dare it to blind you. you’re so foolish that you cling to the simplest things to feed the heart’s illusion. but besides that, the mere idea that he’d include you in his dreams… it was like being one and the same being, as if there were still a room for you in the future, even if you were still just a friend. or at least that’s how it made you feel.

despite the whirlwind of love coursing through your body, you looked at Liam with amusement, beneath which lay an eagerness to know more about that remark. “so, I’m part of the plan too?”

with his eyes still fixed on the ring, he shrugged, as if it were no big deal, or perhaps as if it were something everyone knew. “obviously.”

you were glad he wasn’t looking at your face at that moment, because you were sporting the silliest smile ever seen. “right,” you said, nonchalantly, approving of his decision. “i’m going to ride on your coattails, and you’d better buy me nice things.”

“maybe.”

“maybe?”

he finally looked at you, grinning from ear to ear this time, signalling that the tender moment would end as soon as he’d thought of something annoying to say to you. “yeah. it depends on whether you keep bein' as annoyin' as you are right now.”

you both laughed and you rolled your eyes, taking your ring off. “twat.”

after the laughter died down, silence spread through the room for a moment. Liam kept sipping his vodka whilst you blinked up at the ceiling, holding back the storm of emotion that was putting every nerve on high alert. feelings can’t be controlled, so it was impossible for you to stop the warmth that kept spreading through your chest at the mere realisation that you were part of the plan. something so stupid that surely it hadn’t made him think twice.

"i’m going to get you out of Manchester.’

that phrase bounced around in your head like a soft echo.

but that warmth had to be countered immediately, before you did something stupid, like speaking tenderly to him about the plan you had in your head—how you were going to study hard to get a good job and take him everywhere, to lovely places you couldn't afford at the moment.

“stop drinking. i'm not letting you throw up all over my bathroom again.”

Liam burst out laughing and ran his hand over your mouth, letting one of his fingers slip between your lips. he always did that, and although part of you found it disgusting and you’d slap his arm for being so gross, another part felt completely embarrassed by just how much it turned you on when he did that. you slapped his arm, making a sound of disgust, but he didn’t stop laughing.

“shut up,” he replied, immediately taking another swig from his glass and giving you a defiant look, which made you roll your eyes.

“i’m serious!” you exclaimed between laughs. “if you throw up, i'll throw you out. stop drinking now.”

"'m pluckin' up some courage.”

at that reply, you frowned, looking at him amused at the prospect of some ridiculous comment from him, given his joking nature. “what for?”

instead of speaking, Liam simply turned his head to one side and finally looked you in the face. the expression you saw there managed to unsettle you even more. suddenly he was serious. his lips were slightly parted and his tender, deep-sea eyes were dropped, staring intently at your mouth. you almost panicked when you realised.

then.

it finally happened.

it was as if a flash had struck your face; it all happened very quickly and very slowly at the same time, as if you’d suddenly left your body, or as if your gaze had been dazzled by a bright light shining directly into your eyes. a hand cupped your cheek just as a sigh brushed your lips, which parted without you even realising it, and in a second you felt the gentle pressure of a mouth against yours.

yes, his lips were as soft and plump as they looked.

for a second your body went rigid, completely taken aback by the touch, until gently your lips moved over his, kissing him a little hesitantly, unsure whether this was allowed, whether the bubble would burst and Liam would realise it wasn’t what he wanted. but no, quite the opposite. feeling your response – albeit hesitant, still a response – he pulled you towards him, holding your waist firmly, making you sit on his thighs. the kiss deepened as he tilted your head just enough, his lips setting the pace, teaching yours how to kiss him, showing you that it was okay to let yourself go. every heartbeat pounded hard against your chest, almost as if demanding to be set free, longing to fall into the hands of the boy holding you, eager for more affection.

when you pulled apart, you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. perhaps it was nerves, or embarrassment, or the absurdity of having kissed your best friend, but you couldn’t stop laughing. Liam rolled his eyes, yet his lips twitched, fighting back a smile.

“idiot.”

far from coming up with a reply to the nickname – you were far too overwhelmed for that – the word blossomed in your chest like a flower opening in spring under the blazing sun. yes, you were a silly girl, silly for having your heart racing a mile a minute over a lad as daft as Liam, whom you were always teasing because he was so easy to wind up. the thing is, neither is Liam daft nor are you a silly girl, but it made you feel a funny sort of anger at just how much you liked him. then he kissed you again, devouring that laughter—this time not so sweet, but rather hungry, playful—the sort of kiss that made the ground shake beneath you as you realised he’d been waiting for this.

the kisses continued and your body, completely relaxed and without a trace of stiffness, melted in his hands. gently, he laid you down on the floor with his body on top of yours, one hand cupping your cheek and the other resting on the floor. every nerve in your body was tingling with anticipation, causing your lungs to fill rapidly—not out of fear, but out of excitement. no one but you knew how hard it had been to put on a front, to avoid eye contact and to lock away your feelings deep within your heart. seeing Liam with other girls didn’t cause you so much pain as curiosity; what would it be like to kiss him? how would it feel to touch his nose, his eyebrows, his hair? would he touch you with intent? and now, at this very moment, as the hand that had been on your cheek had slid down to squeeze your waist, you felt that you could finally die in peaceful contentment.

due to the need to breathe, you pulled away for a moment, but not far. his eyes scanned your face, searching for any hint of regret, but there wasn’t any. alll he found was a silly smile and a slight blush on your cheeks. it was so intense that you worried you were wearing no make-up, which was ridiculous because Liam had seen you in far worse states thousands of times.

but not like this. not after kissing you like that.

without helping it, he buried his face into your hair, letting the scent fill his nostrils before moving to your neck, where he left soft pecks. it made your breath hitch, even more than kisses on the mouth, making you sigh very softly. there was nothing sexual about that moment; the way his lips traced kisses on your skin was gentle, slow, unhurried. you couldn’t explain it, but it felt as though your bodies were like liquids blending together, as though every time his mouth pressed against your skin, he left a trace of his colour on it. it was like when you mix two paints; as they blend, they create a new colour, melting into one another. you two melting into each other's bodies.

“you smell nice,” he said.

“yeah?”

“yeah. like fruit. i like it.”

“it must be my shampoo.”

“must be,” he replied, slowly leaning in to capture your lips once more.

in the blink of an eye, the intensity of his kisses was overwhelming in the most delightful way, and you found yourself needing to respond just as eagerly as he did. Your hands quickly found their way between your bodies, groping each other without a shred of modesty, consumed by the heat of the moment. yours found their way to his back, sliding down his chest, tugging at his hair, eliciting soft, sweet sounds from him. as for Liam, he squeezed your thighs, raising one of your legs to make room between them. he caressed your hips and waist, squeezing now and then. but when his fingers slipped beneath your shirt and a shiver ran up your spine, there was a breaking point that allowed the tension to finally explode and for you both to grope each other properly.

then your fingers slipped under his t-shirt towards his chest, before touching his back, pressing there to pull him against your chest. at such firm body-to-body contact, his hips pressed between your legs, the friction drawing a moan from both of you. heat meeting heat through layers of clothes, feeling so good. sensing each other’s response, you wrapped your legs around his hips and Liam moved his hips against yours. the most pitiful moans escaped from your throats as you moved your bodies against each other, almost unable to bear how good it felt.

when it became too much and Liam felt he was about to come right there, rubbing against you through his trousers, he pulled away just enough to take off his shirt. youur eyes were wide open, stunned, but your arousal clouded any sense of embarrassment. you both began to undress eagerly, trembling, careless fingers pushing fabric out of the way. socks, shirts, trousers, underwear – everything scattered across the floor of your bedroom in seconds.

as the two of you stood there completely naked, your gazes felt like they were burning into each other’s skin. two pairs of eyes roamed over the other’s body, tracing every line, every shade of skin, every texture, every mark. it was then that the haze of lust cleared enough for both of you to laugh at the situation you found yourselves in – a little embarrassed, but mostly excited.

“cheeky cunt." he teased. “stop looking at me.”

your cheeks burned, but you weren’t going to show weakness. “then you stop looking at my breasts.” you replied with false annoyance and a smile.

“i can’t, they’re so beautiful.”

Liam lifted you off the floor, carrying you to the bed where he positioned himself on top of you. awkwardly, his hands hurried to unwrap the condom and then put it on. you never took your eyes off him, watching intently as his hands slid the latex over his flushed cock. you were so wet it was embarrassing, giving away just how turned on you were by him. though it was only natural, wasn’t it? Liam was gorgeous. but he was your friend…

“right.” once the condom was on, he moved between your legs, making the necessary space. then, holding the base of his cock, he slid the head of his hard cock between your wet folds, slowly coating its length with your wetness. at that, you gasped, unable to help yourself. how desperate you were had made you far too sensitive, and the way his cock was rubbing against your cunt did nothing to help you hold back your moans. meanwhile, he was even worse off, his face all red and biting his lip with his eyes closed.

“please, let me put it in,” he whined.

Liam sounded so, so desperate – a thousand times more pathetic than you – and it sent a shiver down your spine. you nodded eagerly, wrapping your arms around him as he guided the head of his dick towards your entrance. without waiting any longer, he thrust inside, letting out a beautiful moan at the tightness that enveloped him so warmly. your nails dug into his back, adding a little extra pleasure for Liam, who loved the idea of having his back all marked by you.

once he was fully settled inside you, your arms held him tight and his face buried itself in your neck, the skin there muffling his moans and gasps. both of you took a few seconds to catch your breath, simply taking in the sensation of having him inside you, of just how tight you were. for the two of you, it was like a feverish dream. every sensation was more than intense—overwhelming and suffocating—making you both hyper-aware of the heat of your skin, the force of your heartbeats, and Liam’s cock inside you. tenderly, you planted a little kiss on his temple, drawing a sigh from him.

hugging each other, he pulled out halfway before pushing back in again. then he began to thrust, slowly at first, testing the waters, savouring the sheer novelty of it all – something that had once seemed impossible. your eyes rolled back as your grip on Liam tightened, clinging to him whilst his hips began to slam into yours with greater intent, letting you feel every inch slide against your walls. growls escaped his throat, savouring the sound his crotch made against yours, now wet and slick with your arousal.

“yes,” you moaned, scratching at the skin on his back. “oh, fuck, Liam, more please.”

the echo of your voice, dripping with desperation, sent a jolt through him; hearing you moan his name went straight to his cock. so he picked up the pace, completely consumed by the desire to elicit more of those moans from you, each thrust knocking the wind out of your lungs in a way that made your toes curl. he was just starting and already there was no rhythm, but rather sloppy rolls of hips, as if this moment had been waiting far too long for it to happen and so now he simply couldn’t help but act on it. it was essential to concentrate fully, as Liam felt that if he lost himself too much in the sensation of finally being inside you, he’d come in two seconds and embarrass himself forever.

with every thrust, your brain felt itself melting away. desperate gasps rose from the very depths of your body, whilst your half-lidded eyes stared blankly at a spot in the room, almost unable to take in what was happening. as for him, as much as he tried to take it slowly, he couldn’t; his body was begging for more and more, and the way you pleaded between moans for him to please go deeper didn’t exactly help him hold back either. It’s just that when there’s too much pent-up tension, the moment it finds a way to burst forth, the result is like a tornado sweeping through with utter recklessness. worse still, when the tip touched a spot so sweet that it sent shivers through your whole body, your need for more only intensified. your nails practically dug into his pale skin – which, the next morning, would leave Liam with red marks, living proof that no, this time it wasn’t just one of his many dreams after touching himself whilst thinking of you.

"do you like it like this?" he breathed, pulling back slightly to watch the way your face twisted with pleasure, how your eyebrows were furrowed and your mouth wide open, unable to contain your moans. 

completely lost in the moment, you nodded eagerly. "yes, yes, yes," you replied, holding him tighter. "please, more. please."

he didn’t even have to hesitate, obediently continuing the movement of his hips just as you clearly liked it. suddenly, everything was consumed by Liam, as if he was a flame spreading through a forest, taking every trace of lucidity with him. your hands felt his skin burning; your lips were now busy kissing his, savouring the vodka on his tongue; your nose took in the perfume he liked to wear most and a layer of sweat caused by the frantic thrusting of his hips against yours; and your ears were ringing with the noises Liam was letting out, but not just that—also the wet sounds every time his cock slid in and out of your pussy. so, so obscene that it only served to turn you on even more.

as he pulled away from the kiss, Liam immediately attacked your neck, leaving wet kisses on your skin, sniffing the faint scent of your vanilla soap. then he began to suck on your skin, hard enough to leave red marks there, exchanging with you the same act of letting behind a trace of having been there, just as you were doing by scratching his back. 

moaning, he murmured against your neck. “oh, fuckin’ hell, no.”

“what? what’s wrong?”

“i’m going to come.” he whined, never stopping his thrusts. his hands now gripping your hips very tightly, holding back.

you let out a breathy laugh at how pitiful he sounded, lamenting his lack of stamina. In a situation like this, should anyone be annoyed? you didn’t know it, but it certainly hadn’t bothered you in the slightest that Liam was already on the verge of coming. to be honest, it slightly amused you and also boosted your ego, because he was always acting like he was some sort of sexual expert or something, and for him to be so weak with you… plus hearing him talk like that, almost crying, added a bit to the sensation.

“who cares, just keep fucking me.”

“i swear, 'm not usually like this, but you’re not helpin'.” his grip on your hips got firmer as he shifted, angling himself deeper, reaching spots that made your eyes roll. “christ, you’re so hot.” he complained, frustrated at himself for being so weak in front of such a pretty girl.

oh, but he needed that release so badly, he decided to stop worrying and instead focus more on the way you were clenching around him with every thrust – so wet it made him weak at the knees.

and as he groaned, his mind in another state of bliss, practically touching the sky with his fingertips, his face buried in your neck.  such was the overwhelming need that shook his body that his mind completely uninhibited the boy on top of you, leaving him more exposed than the clothes he’d taken off.

“oh, fuck, i love you so much,” he growled, knocking the wind out of your lungs with more intensity than his thrusts.

i love you.

i love you so much.

you didn’t know if it was the heat of the moment or what, and Liam didn’t give you much time to think about it either, because seconds later his body was jerking, then stopping deep inside you, spilling into the condom at the same time as he let out whimpers into your neck.

he stayed like that for a while, growling against your skin whilst his hips twitched and his chest gasped for air. slowly, carefully, he pulled out of you.

but instead of just pulling away and leaving it at that, as he’d thought would happen, after letting out a shaky breath, Liam moved downwards, spreading your legs. without any preamble, his tongue gave a slow lick from your entrance to your clit, making you moan in surprise. your hands flew up to grab his hair, pulling hard just as the tip of his tongue began to circle your most sensitive spot, pressing there whilst two fingers slid inside you. your back arched off the bed, whimpering, your toes curling and your head falling back against the pillow. he was really on a mission, and having finished before you, Liam was determined to make it up to you and ensure you reached that sweet release too. 

“oh, yes” you gasped, feeling your belly tingling. “yes, fuck. Liam, that's– oh, my god, that’s so good...”

your legs clamped around his head at the same time the grip on his hair tightened. each time he sucked your clit, breathy moans spilled out of your mouth, proof of what a delicious job he was doing. Liam was practically drooling all over your folds, getting it even wetter as he ate you out like he was starving. he wanted so bad to make you feel good, to prove he wasn’t a useless prat who came fast and left girls unsatisfied, and it showed in the way his tongue never stopped lapping and circling, making out with your pussy. his fingers thrusted into you with a gentle pace, different than the rythm of his mouth, curling to touch your sweet spot each time.

that delicious tingling was building up in your belly, so intense that your vision was practically blurred. “please,” you cried, pressing his face against your cunt. your head fell to one side, sobbing into the sheets. “Liam, please don’t stop. Liam!”

of course, he had no intention of even breathing. in fact, he quickened the pace of his tongue, pressing it flat against your bundle of nerves, circling firmly whilst his fingers slid in and out of you with a little more force. that was when your body tensed and shuddered, clouding your vision, sending tingles all over your body and making you feel dizzy for a moment, leaving you melted onto the bed with absolute silence in your mind, unable to escape the warm mist enveloping you. he continued licking, even as your body trembled with sensitivity, breathing heavily against your pussy.

you began to whimper, squirming and arching your back. “i can't–” you gasped, your eyes tightly shut. 

Liam didn’t pull away for a second, practically panting as he continued to lick up every last bit of your release he could. your body was hypersensitive, reeling from your orgasm, so your hands instinctively pushed his head away, at this point feeling a sharp tingling sensation.

“Liam!” you whined between giggles. “it’s too much.”

he finally pulled away and withdrew his fingers, laughing breathlessly. you both burst out laughing properly, you still slightly dizzy from your orgasm.

“open your mouth,” he said suddenly, still laughing. 

amused, you frowned, not quite grasping what he meant, but you obeyed. with your lips parted wide, Liam leaned in and slipped the two fingers he’d used to finger you into your mouth. although it took you by surprise, it didn’t take you long to start sucking on them, tasting yourself on them. 

“you're so hot” he murmured. despite the needy tone in his voice, he had such a smug smile it made you roll your eyes and playfully slap his cheek, lightly. he laughed again and pulled his clean fingers out of your mouth, then lay down beside you, both of you staring at the ceiling. 

as your bodies began to cool, the realisation of what had just happened hit you like a bucket of cold water. the only sound was your breathing gradually returning to normal, and perhaps someone passing by outside your house. such serenity allowed your minds to run wild with questions and doubts. you would never, ever have imagined that you’d end up having sex. 

you didn’t know what to do or what to say, as at that moment any comment seemed awkward to make. your heart was pounding, so hard that you thought he might be able to feel it in the silence that enveloped the two of you. going from moaning his name loudly to a deafening silence felt unsettling. you wondered what he might be thinking, whether he’d decide to leave or stay the night, whether everything would be back to normal the next day or whether you’d ruined it completely. 

when you finally plucked up the courage to ask him if he wanted some water – a vague question to test the waters – Liam surprised you by turning towards you and wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close against his body. his nose nuzzled your hair, breathing in the scent created by your fruity shampoo and the hint of sweat clinging to your body. you couldn’t move or say a word, just like when a skittish cat comes over to rub against your legs and you don’t even want to breathe for fear of scaring it away. but despite how tense you were, it was impossible not to melt under his touch, so glad that his first reaction hadn’t been to pull away.

fireworks were going off in your chest, spreading a sweet warmth and bringing a smile to your lips. you were so happy it’s hard to put into words, because the love that was overwhelming you at that moment was so intense that thinking was impossible. all that remains is the feeling of loving and being loved, and in that moment you felt that you were loved by Liam—and not just as a friend.

he let out a frustrated sigh through his nose before gently breaking the silence, the same frustration evident in his voice.

“it’s cos you’re pretty,” he murmured simply, leaving you confused. 

“what?”

“you’re pretty, that’s why i didn’t want to hang out with you anymore.”

with confusion written all over your face, you turned your head to look at him. “i don’t understand.”

he sighed, looking at your mouth and then your eyes, his own slightly droopy. “i’ve always liked you. think ever since that night i first stayed over at your house – d'you remember?” you nodded. “that day...i remember it clearly. i stayed awake all night watchin' you sleep. you’re so pretty. and lately… i dunno, it’s like i can’t hold it in anymore, and i didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable cause when i look at you, i feel like you don’t like me in the slightest.”

“what?” you laughed, incredulous. i mean, you’d just had sex.

“you always call me ‘best mate’.”

“because you are my best mate!”

“yeah, i know, but…” he sighed. “you’re really pretty and really great. look at you – you’re gonna do amazing things, d'ya know what i mean?gonna have a degree, a great job doin' something important for society, travellin', meeting people, buyin' yourself everything you’ve always dreamed of… and me? i’m throwing it all away for a band that we don’t even know it’s gonna work out.”

the uncertainty in his words threw you off balance, as it stood in stark contrast to the confidence he usually exuded. “Liam, of course it’s going to work. you always say so.”

“i know that, and I believe it – it’s my greatest conviction – but let’s be realistic: what sort of plan is that? not the one I should have if i wanna be with a girl like you,” he replied, his eyes wandering over your figure, making your heart ache at the sadness in his voice. you wanted nothing more than to make him see how precious he was, how admirable you found it that he was dedicated to making his own dreams come true rather than settling for a mundane life.

“Liam—”

“i swear, i fuckin' swear i'm gonna make it,” he said, not giving you a chance to comfort him, now holding one of your hands to kiss your knuckles gently. “and when I’m up there, bathed in champagne and gold, it’ll all be yours too.”

that uncertainty vanished, replaced by a wave of confidence filling his words. for your part, all you could do was listen intently, melting in his presence.

“i’m going to cover you in diamonds so never again in your life will you have to worry about not having money. wanna buy a thousand of those purple rings you like? go ahead. ten houses? done. it’ll all be yours, everything.”

he enveloped you in a mist of love, as pure as the first breath of the morning. the thought that all this time Liam had adored you just as much as you adored him was overwhelming, and it truly made your heart leap in your chest.

a smile lit up your face. your index finger traced the bridge of his nose reverently, admiring its shape. there was nothing left to say or ask; there were no doubts left, and it was then that you allowed yourself to say what you’d held back for so long in his arms.

“i love you, Liam,” you murmured softly. Liam heard the sweetest of declarations of love. simple and as honest as the sparkle in your eyes illuminating his at that moment. he smiled, ready to put into words the realisation that had been keeping him restless for the past few weeks. 

“i love you more.”

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