queen of filth

https://www.gofundme.com/starting-over-in-philadelphia

@lilykakes wrote a beautiful update but here’s the gist of where we are at in my own words:

I left Kentucky the day before Thanksgiving to stay temporarily with family in Indiana. It has been a battle since I got here due to family members fighting over me without asking my opinion, toxic family members attempting to force themselves back into my life, and my PTSD flaring badly thanks to being back in the epicenter of abuse. I wake up almost everyday in the middle of a flashback, my sleep restless with recreation dreams, and my days are full of triggers that leave me locking myself in the bathroom and having meltdowns.

Staying here is not an option. Family won’t take me in long term, I can’t get hired in this town due to everyone knowing my history, and obviously being here is not good for my mental health.

However, I am stuck at the moment due to skyrocketing ticket prices because of the holiday. I am trying to be patient and wait for them to go down but I really need out of here. I have space waiting for me at Lily’s that is safe. I just gotta get there.

Please. Please. Please. Help me.

My landlord will officially start the eviction process if I do not have rent to them by close of business tomorrow. My fucking check (money order) apparently not only went through twice and completely fucked my bank account but never showed up at my landlord’s office. 

I have a meeting with legal aid but they couldn’t even get me a consultation until next week. 

And I’m just so fucking done. I spent most of my birthday yesterday sleeping because that’s my coping mechanism - that is my “fuck this I don’t want to deal right now” response. 

Because community action is out of funding. Salvation Army is out of funding. Every fucking church I could think of is either out of funding or won’t help you until you’re down to the last 100.00 needed. 

I need to come up with about 500.00 by 5pm tomorrow. 

So I’m heading into downtown Cincinnati tomorrow with a fucking cardboard sign, throwing my pride under the goddamn bus, because I am out of options. Honestly, I’m just hoping someone murders me or runs over my stupid ass. 

I can’t afford to pay rent twice this month. I really freaking can’t. 

So I am begging you. PLEASE. If you can help me, do. If you can’t, please at least share this. I need a miracle.

Someone please be my miracle.

I love them so much???

🐶🐶🐶