we are all eventual ghosts

idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great

Happy horse on mars day

I need to bite something until it breaks. I need to jack off. I need to set fire to a large structure. I need to sprint into the woods

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

such insolence... guards? seize her! ...no. stop. not like that. you are doing it gay. why are you seizing her gay style

would you rather have a gay thought or a son daughter

important reminder that most people you follow online are significantly lamer than you think they are including me. and if you feel insecure comparing yourself to someone online: DON'T. theyre probably also lame and weird. most people on the internet are

reblog if you're also lame and weird.

Say it with me! Wheelchairs aren’t sad! Mobility aids aren’t sad! Mobility aids are instruments of freedom!

little miss auditory processing disorder would like you to repeat what you just said then immediately respond to you before you finish

to be honest, kitten doesnt know how many more “ok 💗 yay 💗”s they have left in them

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

the thing about supernatural. is it will have you saying dean for gods sake look at the road

if you are on mobile good news! you can just move your phone around and it is like you are driving maisy car around the real world!