GhostyPau

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It's been almost a year since I got my uni degree and also from some more personal stuff. Looking back, I've improved my mental health a lot; even though there's some stuff I have to get over (how long until I can get over someone who I've had ONE date?), I still try everyday to take care of myself and that's OK.

Yesterday I had some... bad news, my dad was diagnosed with stage three gastric cancer. Luckily, if we start the treatment now/soon, he could be fully recovered and cancer-free! I try to stay positive and be calm so I can give him the reassurance he needs, but if I'm honest... I'm pretty scared of everything right now. The possibility of something going wrong and losing my dad is making me freak out, I don't want to lose him. I try not to think about the bad things and focus on the good ones.

I have to be strong and be there for him. That doesn't mean that I'm not going to feel how I feel right now, but I have to manage my emotions and thoughts carefully. I will talk to my therapist again for extra support, just in case.

If someone read this far, I just want to say thank you for reading my ramblings, lol

It has been about 5 months of absolute no contact, and 9 months since the heartbreak. How the fuck I'm still feeling like before everything happened?! i just... ugh... idk what to do anymore, some days i'm getting better and some days i'm just lucky to wake up and do something. it hurts a lot yk... i try to see any mistake or thing that they did that didn't sit well with me, but nothing, still the same... i have them engraved almost in my heart and mind.