blog.

surprisingly, I'm not dead.

I'm not coming back to tumblr, though. my mental health has vastly improved since I left.

I just want to say, if anyone remembers me and still wants to talk to me, you can reach me on Discord. I have my own server now, it's fairly small but it's getting more active, and it's the best place to keep up with me and talk about fandom or whatever.

it is of course highly NSFW. if you've read my fics you should not be surprised.

they changed the opening theme?

They rerecorded the audio too. I don't know if I like it.

Wait Zoe's in the intro sequence? and Hawkmoth is using TWO miraculous?? What's with Ladybug's new outfit??

I don't know if I like it.

I do like that it's creating more visual interest in the outfit but I don't think that's how you should do it.

We're not even a minute in

Hm. So they gave the unify upgrade to the villain too. I like the outfit aaand he's phantom of the opera. He looks like more of a prick now.

Honestly I feel like the normal box is a lot more inconspicuous

so kwamis don't show up on things but we have seen evidence of their audio existing. in the kwami capture episode where Marinette put on all of them. also they can maintain sentience and awareness in the suit forms so they'd already ahve seen a lot of this stuff when she moved across the city wearing all of them.

I did not hear what Juleka said. I don't think there's any actual words in that.

I remember why I stopped watching this.

{Marinette is babbling to Luka about Adrien and husband is taking a lonnnnng drink}

What the fuck is happening here? "Marinette forgot everything and they're just" Being dicks about it?

This feels like there's an amount of time that has passed between the end of season 3 and the beginning of season 4 and none of it was covered. It clearly isn't the next day, I don't remember them dating, but also Alya didn't know so clearly they haven't been together long?

Also why is every episode with Luka so cringey?

It's like everything else with the show is so subtle and intriguing but the relationship stuff is so goddamn heavy handed. It's hard to enjoy it when it's being forced in our face. It's not even me disliking romantic stuff, some of the greatest stuff in shonen revolves around romance.

The donut of my life??

What is with this show and the stupid orange juice??

They're trying to show off their increased budget here

Bitches you are talking during a movie!

None of the things about Luka should really be flagging as he's an asshole, but so many things flag as he's an asshole!

(Luka got Mari to say "kiss me") That was actually really smooth. Props where props are due.

"I gotta keep my identity a secret more than ever!" So you shout it in the bathroom.

So there's been pretty much cartoon violence in the show so far. Season four opens up with THE BOMBING OF PARIS.

This feels more like first actual episode than first episode of a season. A lot of reestablishing who the characters are and what their relationships are.

He didn't impact the glass at the center where it would have fractured. Yes I will be that pedantic.

Plus he's not actually pressing up against it so it doesn't look like he shattered the glass

This is Mr Pigeon isn't it

(They're at Andre's) Fucking hell this episode has all the worst people.

Nino's wearing WWE shoes.

It's almost like the universe is telling Marinette not to date Luka because it keeps pushing her towards Chat Noir

God Luka's so pretentious

(Husband noticed a poster for Le Coquelicot in the background and asked me to look up what that meant and so I found out it means poppy, and the meaning of a poppy is remembrance and hope for the future) So the universe is reflecting her hope for the future here but also showing that she really can't have that with Luka?

what? THAT'S what akumatizes Luka? "I can't tell you the truth" THAT'S what breaks him?

(husband downed the rest of his drink)

What is this show? Why must it be so stupid? Why must it hurt me? No bitch is that dramatic!

So this is their way of stepping up the villain. Giving him TWO powers.

That seems like such a STUPID idea. putting the amok and the akuma into the same object? if you break one, you break both!

also dude you're literally wearing the thing that says that she cares about you, you are so fucking stupid oh my fucking god

This goes against the aloof nature they gave Luka in other episodes. so going back to the heavy handed bullshit

So he can force akumatization. (Actually I think on some level Luka gave in because he did want to know Marinette's secret) That makes more sense, plays into his duplicitous nature

Finally something more important to Luka than getting into Marinette's pants!

(Ladybug gags herself) The Totally Spies influence keeps rearing its head

So there's one thing I don't understand. In earlier episodes we've seen that Hawkmoth can force akumas to do things. Why isn't he doing that now?

Look at Tom being a good father!

Why do I recognize [Ziggy's] voice

Wow really showcasing the quick thinking abilities of Chat

Why did they make Chat more tan

Yeah putting the whole amok and akuma into the same object seems like a stupid idea. also is there a point to de-evilizing the amok when it has no sentience?

oh she doesn't say bye bye little butterfly anymore

That was a pretty good episode if you don't count the first 15 minutes

All right that's actually a really good moment for Jagged

All right so that to me says they're gonna stop with the romantic bullshit till the end of the series but I KNOW that's not the case.

and that's this episode!

Props to Jagged for actually confronting his own inadequacies and trying to do better for what he should be. Also I guess I kind of understand Luka a bit. It's not easy growing up without a father figure. It was hard enough not seeing my own often, it must be worse having NO father figure. It's probably why a lot of anime that are male centric with a lot of older male characters really hit home with me, because they could teach me paternal morals. Luka clearly didn't have that. Even though anime is more popular in France than it ever was in America.

(So what you're saying is Adrien is more well adjusted than Luka because he's a weeb.) Yes actually!

This really ties into my thoughts of Adrien and Luka being mirrors of each other, Kagami and Marinette being mirrors of each other, Adrien and Marinette being reflections, even Kagami and Luka being reflections.

Adrien and Kagami are obviously reflections with the isolation and fascination with anime and fencing but Adrien had a friend in Chloe and Kagami had no one.

I could keep going

(He is still going)

(so at the time I was pissed at Luka, because I thought it was shitty when a girl breaks up with a guy for his response to be "that's okay I'll wait"). I see it differently. So I disagree. I don't think that was their intent. I think they were trying to show Luka's emotional intent. Luka came out of the akumatization and realized he was being unfair to Marinette. He realized that with the gift and everything that she was trying to be there for him and that she just still couldn't tell him. So when she broke up with him, he understood that she was overwhelmed, and even though she didn't say she couldn't be with him right now, he understood what she meant. It just went over badly because the episode was so heavy handed at the beginning.

I don't like what they did to Juleka in basically making her mumble mouth, in previous seasons she was just shy and didn't talk much. also they changed her personality.

(TIME FOR LIES)

The weirdest thing about the series so far is they have random bits of speeding up people's dialogue to make it fit and it doesn't work.

Why didn't they start the first episode like this? We followed Marinette through the previous episode. We should've kept with that and followed Adrien through the first episode.

why is the camembert not stored in the fridge

Did Plagg just talk to him through the phone?

that's a stein of milk

those sneaky bitches

when did they give Kagami freckles?

I wish Kagami wasn't the only one who had a unique suit.

Considering Kagami hates lies, does she not use feints in fencing then? that would turn her episode point into an actual character quirk.

There could also be more characters in the fencing class that we knew besides Adrien and Kagami. it's cool that adrien wears the same thing as everyone else but it's forcing Kagami to stand out that she's wearing something different. Actually considering how controlling her mother is that may not be her choice.

The timing on this is just too weird. It made sense from the Ladybug perspective but the amount of time between things. They had a walk away from the boat and had a whole ass talk and a whole ass Hawkmoth thing and Ladybug having her transformation sequence in the time it took them to walk down the stairs

wow he really just nuked the entire Kagami/Adrien thing in this one episode

"I only ever have this much fun with you" YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

It was bright as frickin day when they defeated Truth

See this actually makes a lot more sense because they are meant to be younger and less emotionally stable. I think it actually works really well.

Considering the fact that Hawkmoth is lying that would include him. and why didn't he give her a sentimonster?

Fang want cake

Are they actually gonna use Chloe to an effect? The most honest, brutally honest bitch?

FANG WANT CAKE

Fang the best

is her orb getting bigger?

Actually that was just a really good episode. the only things that don't work are the parts that conflict with the previous.

Yeah this episode hurts

OK so we don't have an ultra long intro this time. Maybe that extra five minutes will be put towards plot!

That wristband. That's Wayzz. Oh no it's a dragon charm.

I called it! Fan guy will be explained in the next special! It's gotta be connected to the Miraculous bullshit somehow.

I really like this intro so far.

Guardian was always capitalized in the other subtitles but not here so that makes me think this might not be Miraculous stuff.

Oh so they murdered her father.

There was no real leadin to the other special that gave any context. I like Fei so far.

Is this supposed to be summer break?

And someone's gonna try to steal Tikki.

Girl NO. NOOO.

There are LIMITS to the amount of crazy a girl should be able to get away with. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN A BOX AND SHIP YOURSELF TO SHANGHAI. that is stalkerish.

Gabriel's actually going? Are you actually going to let Adrien spend time with friends?

All right so what's this magical eclipse all about?

How'd he get the bracelet?

So the Prodigious is the prototype of the Miraculous?

If you destroy them you can't get their miraculouses

Okay. I just need to point out some serious stupidity. The trinket for the Prodigious was already in China. It was stolen from the person in China. and then sent to Paris so that he could fly it back to China to take part in the ritual to get the Prodigious. WHY

That is how spines break! Marinette has no spines! Or maybe she could fit inside that box actually

So Tom and Sabine were struggling financially according to other episodes. How are they gonna afford to send her to China?

Why is he prepared for this?

Okay so they actually explained it.

When did he learn to speak English? That was a big thing of his episode, that he could not speak English or French. Or did Marinette learn to speak Chinese or one of the many Chinese languages.

Oh they addressed that.

This is a much better getting someone who's not familiar with the thing getting invested in the story rather than punching your face in heavy handed.

They had to do completely new modeling for this.

Those are just actual photos.

Why the fuck

Super stalkery

Ahh. Gorilla collects action figures.

This is not gonna go well.

It's weird seeing Gabriel walk around and do shit.

So this is Fei's story, basically.

Hm. Master of disguise stuff.

Gorilla's actually doing his job!

Dead eye Tikki

She took the kwagatama.

There's no way she wouldn't notice the earrings slipping off. The inconsistency of the rules is really annoying. In Lady Wifi, Alya had to go behind the ear to get the backing but now they're clip ons?

Also you would definitely feel your bag being taken like that

Okay this is a cute little moment.

There's a lot of tourists in Shanghai, she should be able to get help.

Dumplings.

I like Bastille.

But he's the one who's been fucking with you!

That's the same fan that the bad guy had, so

This is the start of a very pixar-esque style that we see later on.

Oh they're just trying to help! Oh that's nice of them.

This one's just a lot more interesting than the other special.

I like how Gorilla's just playing with the bird.

They're both horrible liars.

If she doesn't have her wallet, how is she going to pay?

I like these little moments, but the subtleties on Fei's face say the guilt is getting to her as she's getting to know Marinette.

Aaand Chat Noir to save the day.

Your forms will do nothing here. You're just wasting energy.

Those are good kids. They're doing their best to help.

So we got an eclipse that does magic.

aaand Marinette switched modes.

"You're gonna call your uncle right now" with Marinette's own phone.

I like the subtle echo they have on Hawkmoth's monologue.

[Marinette transforms] is now really the time to dance, girl?

Into the well. Where she's gonna accidentally find the real thing, I think.

I wonder if the colors mean anything on that giant god of war esque staircase.

So this is gonna summon oh that's a big dude.

So Chat's gonna come in and he's gonna fight Hawkmoth and Fei's gonna fight the Prodigious dude

I like the outfit.

[Long Long] is cute.

Oh that's interesting. So it's a different type of transformation.

Heh Hawkmoth got a basketball to the dick

I didn't know he could use an akuma to change other people. That doesn't follow logic we saw in the Stoneheart episode. Although maybe since it returned to him he was able to repurpose it?

Time to get the fuck out of there, it's kaiju time.

"We gotta break the ball, the akuma's inside!" and now it's inside him.

[Gabriel gets thanos'd] oh jesus christ. He's murdered. He's just straight up murdered.

I like that this shows that the akumas are not completely controllable. It opens up a lot more ideas and things they could do with it that I know they're not going to.

This just feels like a complete story without rushing through everything.

"Only the power of the object can reach the akumatized object!" how do you know that? You know nothing of the Prodigious, Tikki has told you nothing of it! You could just dive into the mouth and get the thing yourself!

Goodbye Kitty.

You kinda need to survive so you can reset bomb everything.

Is this where Marinette reveals herself?

"Everything is because of me" No it's because of Hawkmoth. It's literally 1000% his fault. You're just the unlucky sucker who's in it and I hate this trope it is so stupid.

Kaiju battle!

That's a big vase. Put the dragon in the vase?

This is a reference to something, I just don't remember what.

It's nice seeing when Hawkmoth's plans actually go awry.

Everyone and everything back to existence! Except they all know what death is like now.

That was good form on that kick.

So Mei Shi's a kwami.

Overall thoughts. I like the implications of the Prodigious but it's not explained enough. It's like they're an attempt to attain things that shared aspects with other miraculouses but that's too much power for one person and the guardian is a kwami? Or like a kwami? I have so many questions that will never be answered on it.

[does this one have an actual name idk]

OK this is definitely after season 3 because of the box.

Why did they do a Marvel version of the theme? you can't tell me that's not inspired by Marvel.

Okay so they store the powerups inside the thing?

They really tried to go all out with the updated animations didn't they?

Her hair is actually black this time! it looks really good.

Okay that's the first thing that I saw that's super out of character.

Some of these things are textured really well but some are just not. Look you can see texture on her clothes, on the bricks, on the ground, and then BRIGHT GREEN TRASH CAN. It just makes no sense.

This is gonna be a long hour.

Why did they increase Marinette's bust size?

What the fuck was with the way that beard was moving? It's like they didn't want to move the anchor point on the bottom. They anchored it to his shirt is how they modeled it.

Why do they keep changing Marinette's hair color? Why is it darker in the school lighting?

I think I know why this seems so hard to place in the timeline. Its production seems to start at the beginning of season 3 but they definitely got the bible. So they just didn't see all the development Marinette had in getting over her obsession with Adrien over the season.

This whole little bit about Marinette's obsession doesn't need to be here if you've seen the series. Its purpose is only for those who haven't seen the series, which is unneeded because who's gonna watch just for this? It's not a movie. if I skipped the next fifteen seconds nothing would be missed.

When has New York ever been considered romantic? I guess if they watch a lot of American Hallmark movies? But New York is dirtier and dingier than Paris.

They actually made Gabriel look good in this. Like I get how he's supposed to be a silver fox type. He's got a bit too much Justin Bieber face for me, but the hair works for him. I can see how he'd become a celebrity in Paris.

"I'll be keeping an eye on him." If Adrien was a sentimonster under his control, he wouldn't need to keep an eye on him. He could just keep track of him with the miraculous. Like, Mayura was able to track Feast.

Also why is Nathalie in the bed? didn't they fix the peacock? Oh wait she was still super weak and life force isn't easy to regenerate once it's been drained like that.

Oh they've got best girl here.

I think I already see where the entire plot of this special is going. She's gonna be upset at Chat because he's not gonna be there when a sentimonster attacks and she's gonna be upset and debate giving up her miraculous because that's been the theme of the episodes lately and the American heroes are going to somehow be bitches.

[We're only 10 minutes in.]

Gorilla doesn't like planes.

All right so it's not going to work because it's not a sentimonster alert.

How is the eagle going to help you beat Ladybug and Chat?

Marinette, just know when to stop talking, please.

Again, a nice little moment that would be really good.

5 seconds on the plane and she's basically assaulted someone.

Nice use of symmetry and mirroring each other.

Marinette is not having a good day.

Why did they give her such an ass in that shot?

That's actually a pretty good moment.

No. Alya no.

I do like how they call out their weird animation quirks of like. Marinette arms. It's fun.

A convict with a jet engine?

So normal magical and villain type things exist already.

Okay that is just Superman. That's just Superman outfit and Superman theme.

Another thing I don't like is all the infodump. There's a better way they could've introduced Uncanny Valley than Alya's random exposition. She was answering the question of the audience without being prompted to. And it throws me off.

"It's time to show these American heroes how French heroes do it!" NO. NO.

He's not a superhero. That was his entire bit. Also what's he gonna do, endanger everyone by opening up the emergency hatch? You have no superpowers, you have no gadgets, what possibly are you going to do here?

As an introduction, I like this.

It's like they wanted three teachers, one to be nice, one to be crazy, one to be strict, and then they shoved two of them into one character. It doesn't work.

Hot Dog Dan? So he's ... a hot dog vendor?

All right, the dancing is a cute little callback.

Okay I like the new animation style, the very American comic book. but can no one just leave Marinette and Adrien alone? Let them just be awkward together!

Can we get to the catastrophic failure that will lead into the less lovey-dovey shit?

So they're trying to say Lafayette was a holder?

Is that one of the self driving Tsurugi cars?

Wait we've seen the akuma butterflies phase. Why is there no consistency in the rules?

"There's artifacts left by people who unveiled the statue" So there's a miracle box there, right?

Solitude is just Mr. Pigeon!

Doc Ock. Huh. With replication abilities.

Door powers are actually pretty cool.

Now it's finally getting good! Can always count on Hawkmoth to interfere in the right way.

So why is Hawkmoth going after the sabre when the claw thing is very clearly the Miraculous?

Ahh. That's why.

They're still being quite efficient even though they're pissed at each other.

[Aeon is cataclysmed] You have a miracle bomb! It can literally reset people!

That is the smart decision. They don't know each other's identities. Also the American heroes don't have the authority to do that!

I dunno I feel like the reset should have gone through to the other area. When villains have changed in the middle of the episode the reset still works. And when there was the copycat Ladybug she used that one's lucky charm to do a reset bomb. So I call bullshit on that. Also I don't think Paris is still destroyed when we come back to it. So...

"If Uncanny Valley hadn't been a robot I would've caused irreparable harm." Except people have literally died, disintegrated into nothing, converted into energy, and brought back with no issues. So no, it's not irreparable harm. And this is so heavy handed!

The emotional flip flopping here is not great.

[hearing Liiri's ability] That's an incredibly busted ability. Her power is literally limit break.

Why are they having this argument right next to the French students? That just seems stupid.

Let's just steal a bike! oh, safety first

"Adrien I love you" Okay that's just cruel to the people who were watching this.

Yep that's actually what I was expecting.

WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GUNS? Oh right America.

I really like Jess and Aeon's characterization.

Okay I like the skateboard.

This should've just been a movie. It would've been better with time to do all the stuff going on.

Okay that's a neat little trick.

Why does this one hour episode have more musical types than the entirety of the game that came out?

[Ladybug hugs Chat] Okay that was a really cute moment.

Oh is he just gonna launch nukes at everything?

Trading cards, really?

Yeah see Paris is repaired already

"At least let me see what's inside the safe!" It's a miracle box. it's gotta be, right?

I like [Eagle's] outfit.

Was she gonna toss a piano at a pigeon? [Haven't you wanted to do that?] Yeah...

To the sun? To the sun.

Throwing things to the sun is also a Superman reference.

Why do you need more Miraculous? You only need two, and they're not going to help you, you don't have anyone to give them to!

Paris was not like that when they were visiting.

Okay. This should've just been a three part special episode. It tried to shove so much in so little timeframe and over half the thing was just pointless grandstanding about the stupid will they won't they. And I bet that while people loved that Adrien I love you moment, he couldn't fucking hear it and that's the only thing we're gonna get 'cause fuck these producers.

[We upgraded to PS5 version so gotta start over]

Oh glitchy

Oh huh. Still looks like a PS2 game but like an upresed PS2 game

Still looks weird but not as weird oh no never mind look at Marinette’s face

You can actually see the textures now though

It loads a lot faster, it does kinda look better. The prerendered cutscenes look worse, but the game looks better

Why is circle the confirm

This actually feels better

“All right! Now that’s a macaron for Tikki!” That’s new. That was not a line before. There’s just more stuff in the PS5 version.

It’s like they took stuff out for PS4

Do you think he’s only allergic to pigeons or birds in general? 

What is this game it’s like. Trying.

Still don’t understand why [bosses] have two health bars, but

[Ladybug spinning her yoyo] That’s more circular, too

[Tikki never saw these orbs before] but she has to know if Master Fu knows

Ah Kagami. You got fucking shafted.

I can’t stand on these [objects on the ground]. They have physics!

Oh they fixed another issue! I am thoroughly shook!

You know what I just noticed? I don’t think Alix is in this game.

Alya’s stuck in permanently sassy mode

This game is so much - buh what

Good to see that Chat Noir is still broken as shit.

“Don’t try this at home, kids!” Fuck no if I get the opportunity to run across Paris I’m gonna fucking do it

Look at the shadow. It’s just the rigging, it’s not the model

There’s a map function??

“Sounders! Take care of them!” UMMM. Do they not know what that is? Do you know what that is? [I know what sounding is?] A sounder is the tool used for sounding.

[...oh]

You can actually see her design and it looks good

Ohhh soundwave was the name of the mic brand they used

Wait I missed the friendship bit because I didn’t talk to her right then?

The return of breadfoot disease

It’s weird seeing the texture details and shit but then you see the trees are still squares

Isn’t the Liberty the boat? Why does it have a street sign?

This feels like they got the bad studio to make the game. The sudio that makes Marinette’s hair way too blue.

This series was made to have fanfiction.

I always thought Sabine did the paperwork because Tom was the baker. He’s not smart enough to do the paperwork. He’s a golden retriever.

Fu is still being an asshole. He knows what these orbs are for and isn’t saying it?

What did that do? “Made him wet.” But why?

Why is Tikki a png but Marinette is a render?

The easiest way I can put this game is unintentionally good. If you tried it the way they intended it, it’s bad.

What the fuck

I don’t remember this being this hard

 Why does this game have Eminem references

For a game called Rise of the Sphinx there’s very little Sphinx happening. And there’s only 2 more locations I saw?

[You unlocked the power of Smash!] Cat Noir’s gonna smash ya

Aren’t you supposed to be writing this down since we got to new content? “Oh yeah shit”

The music is all dark and I kinda like it

[That looks super bouncy!] That wasn’t bouncy at all.

The rendering on this is still bad.

Who put a macaron in a sewer? I can kind of understand the subway but who wants to eat a sewer macaron?

What does the caterpillar have to do with the sphinx?

Push? Oh that kind of made sense. That’s the first instance of logic I think this game’s had.

The only way I can recommend people playing this game is while drunk which unfortunately I am not. Also on the PS5 because that’s the only one that looks good.

I swear each level is longer than the previous

Oh this is yellow water I don’t wanna touch that

Hey look a Mario pipe. That’s gotta be a reference right? It’s too out of place.

Which one’s the healer???

The silk looks … fine.

Stephanie you’re supposed to be writing stuff you have been missing so many things

Look when Chat does his smash move it’s like his father’s samurai form. “I could believe that’s less because of his father and more because he’s a massive weeb though.” Yes but his father’s ALSO a massive weeb

This is just boring. Tedious? Yeah, tedious.

Also I don’t know if there’s anything that’s even savable aside from a couple of the akuma designs. What does this add to the story of Miraculous?

This feels more like a mobile phone game than anything, like if each section was a minigame and then the rest is just stuff you click on

What did that button do

I just wanna be able to control the camera

[You enjoy smashing things, don’t you Cat Noir?] Yeah you wanna be next?

Why is’t there an icon for where I am on this map

It’s really hard because you don’t really know where you are

This is the first time we’re able to get all the things in a chapter because we have all the powers

Liberate the passage? What the fuck does tghat mean?

Let’s face it, the macarons are more for the side stuff, but that’s pretty cool. This solidifies that if this came out during the PS2 era it would have been beloved

A single macaron. A single macaron. A red macaron! Oh no wait there’s a blue thingy too. We still haven’t been told what these are.

Why? Why did it go that way? What the fuck is this shit?

Mayura??

Wait so she’s just acting on her own??

What is happening ow

Why does the screen keep going black?

What?

What am i supposed to do here

What the fuck was that???

How does this have anything to do with the sphinx???

[A few years back] What? WHAT? Heavy plot I guess

This feels like ship bait

Oh this is definitely a plan

What the fuck was that?

So they’ve been searching for the cat and the bug for years but that doesn’t track with the plot of the show where Emilie has only been in a coma for a year? But what? That doesn’t make sense? This game is canon but can’t be canon?

Wait I thought you could only make a sentimonster from your emotions, not the emotions of others? “No you can use emotions of others” But they NEVER said that. Even when Fu was explaining it he didn’t say that!

And why is the music now Sly Cooper?

Anyways if that’s the case couldn’t she just make Miraculouses off of his desire to have them?

But that’s also not how sentimonsters work! They don’t feed off of ambient emotions! If that was the case, the Ladybug sentimonster would have been exceptionally powerful

This would have made a lot more sense if instead of Chloe it was Lila. The story they’re saying is being told is not what I’ve watched in the show. Unless this is a dumb alternate timeline?

If they wanted to give it the ability to feed on emotions why didn’t he just akumatize the caterpillar 

[I could give you a fine for being outside during lockdown!] That comment has not aged well

[There’s nothing we can do against this sentimonster] Except you beat its face in and if you break its amok, it dies!

It’s a sentimonster! You know what they’re made of!

What is the point of this? Why does there need to be a thing after every collection?

You know for a thing called rise of the sphinx, I was expecting a sphinx

I just wanna be through with this game

Let’s get it over with. Alcohol help me.

Chloe doesn’t really have negative emotions. She acts like a bitch but she’s pretty enutral or happy. Unless they’re saying her sorrow for not having the bee miraculous was so great that it did something? I don’t know

Did it just leave? Didn’t even break just popped out of existence?

I feel like we could ignore this entire game and we’d be better off for it

That necklace is clearly meant to mean something but you’re in season 5 and you have no idea 

The show is bad because of the age rating it’s stuck in

Are you really surprised that the last fight is gonna be on the Eiffel Tower? They have to include it. I swear it’s part of the contract with the show

Oh I broke out of the bounds of the game. They never tested to see if you could jump over that

Speedrunning tactic? Maybe? Dunno why you’d wanna speedrun this game but hey you can

[it’s started it’s morphing phase!]It’s morphine time! Because that;s what I need to deal with this

This music does not fit miraculous ladybug at all. It feels like it belongs in a horror game.

Maybe these are the eggs. The bouncy cocoons that aren’t bouncy.

‘What the fuck” I’m sorry you expected this game to get good now?

These oddly shaped platforms are not good for platforming who the fuck knew

I don’t know if I can make that. I can make that from here though

There’s a whole lot for you to type isn’t there

Okay what the actual fuck why are these platforms moving

I have fallen into the abyss for the Great One. the Great Carl. since they haven’t given us a name I am calling him Carl.

You know I heard the name rise of the sphinx I thought it was gonna be a cool new enemy that required cosmic power upgrades for the miraculouses but nope it’s just mayura and just a sentimonster

Almost done. 

Fuuuuuck it reset my location because I touched ground. The Great Carl is surely disappointed in me.

Hello let us fight

Oh man this is a great camera angle! [the camera is behind some silk]

Um what the fuck happened there? Did I sink into the garage and just couldn’t hit the servant of the Great Carl? 

What the fuck that’s not where we just were! [sign behind Ladybug says Rivoli] Ravioli!

That’s not a sphinx!

It’s not a sphinx!

Aha you missed where are those lights coming from??

Uuuuuugh now I have to do a whole other cycle

It’s already halfway dead! How is it perfection?

Uuuugh fuck off with this shit!

[it’s coming back!] it never left!

Is it only vulnerable in that one spot??

This is so stupid. This is so stupid. Despair powder? That’s it’s power?

There’s no point in this cutscene if it doesn’t result in the choice of a player

When? What? How did he get those photos?

Oh we’re fighting Hawkmoth!

Oh that was the final boss

What is that thing supposed to do?

Even if he dies he’ll just get miraculous ladybugged back to life

[the butterfly purification animation plays to purify the feather] UM

AND THAT’S THE END? There’s no ending cutscene? No end credits theme??

There’s gotta be an epilogue or something

This game would’ve been better called Hawkmoth’s Evolution or Life of a Moth or something. Not Rise of the Sphinx.

Let’s just talk to Alya and end this shit

They had the opportunity to create an entire new set of lore and they just made it sentimonster bullshit

KAGAMI save this game please

Why am I drawing this ame out even further

Is this gonna be some bullshit about the strength of the human experience

Actually Hawkmoth didn’t have an akuma active when Ladybug gave into despair, so he could have just akumatized her then

KAGAMI

Nooo you only have three opportunities to be her friend

God Luka’s gonna turn this into some stupid music thing

Wait but they did that. But they JUST did that.

KAGAMI where are you why are there so few opportunities to talk to you

That’s just not Chloe. That’s just not how she acts at all. She’s a hero worshipper at her core.

Well that’s the game I think

You know there's some people in Marinette's class who should have been at that party that weren't there. Like Alya, her mom works at the hotel. And Max, his mom is the train operator and the chauffeur I think?

I hate Miracle Queen's design. It's not super bad, but it's got too much Style Queen which I did dislike.

I like that they address why Alya's mom wasn't there. They're having a nice family thing with Nino there. and her dad looks so out of place.

So it's a super amped up version of her poison sting except now it creates drones.

God Audrey's legs are like 70% of her body.

"You're still thinking of Adrien, aren't you?" Yeah cause he's better than you, and you know it.

God that river is SO green.

I'm actually really interested in this episode. It's a really good followup.

Wow let's just fuck up everyone's secret identity.

You know who's wearing some of the miraculouses!

I think the game is actually supposed to take place after this. That would explain her anger and willingness to work with Hawkmoth. it doesn't make sense before.

"Of all the plans I concocted, I never wanted this." Bull fucking shit.

If he wasn't a dick, the miraculous could have been repaired by the dude right in fromt of him.

Is this really the time to be having a breakdown?

She's held like ten powers at once!

I really like that unified design.

How are you gonna give the power to the cat? Ah. Water bubble.

Now give the snake to the cat.

Oh she's actually doing it!

That's an interesting design. It's a bit Marvel.

Oh he's just in the sun now this is fine

I wonder if cataclysming the miraculous hurts Pollen at all?

I'm liking how they show that the usage of the powers drains the kwamis.

Oh we're getting to see the other kwamis. This is going to go poorly.

Yeah she technically only used water dragon.

Why do people say this show isn't shonen? This is literally the down up of shonen.

On Fu's part, it is a smart move. He can't give up the identities if he doesn't know them, but that's not something that we as the audience know. If the show had been more blatantly building her up as the new guardian, him teaching her, and the dangers of passing along the guardianship, then this would have been a good story. But instead of us knowing more than the characters, this feels like an ass pull. This doesn't feel like a win. it feels like Fu gave up. Which works really well for his character.

Hawkmoth is reacting here as if he knows what's going to happen. Why should he care what transferring the guardianship does? How does he know more than us?

Also he can just steal Wayzz there.

And then he just leaves? He's won!

Well I can tell who wrote this episode. The person who hates Chloe.

So Fu's just a random 180-something year old now. And this is the ending everyone's supposed to be sad about?

Nothing is fixed though. Nothing can progress from here. The only logical way for things to progress is none of those revealed miraculous holders can get those miraculouses again, because it's too risky. If we're going by actual superhero rules, those people should NEVER get those miraculouses again. But I know that's not gonna happen. This is a good season ender because one of the major plot points kind of got resolved? Sort of? But that's another ass pull because how did Mayura grab the tablet and know that the thing was on it? And why would Fu, who was so careful, be so stupid as to have an unlocked tablet that has a complete translation of the book?

But also it paints the writers into a corner because it can't give any of the heroes a new powerup unless they spend an entire season getting the tablet back, which I don't think they will.

It would've been a great present for Fu to have a box with the tablet in it that has a message from Fu as a goodbye and guiding them.

Fu's goodbye doesn't feel earned, this episode set feels like an ass pull, and I have never been more frustrated with this series. They can't use any of their old allies, the flip flopping of Chloe is so bad from episode to episode and apparently only gets worse from what you've told me

It's so fucking stupid

Argh

What are the byproducts of the memory erasure? Is it everything regarding miraculous or is it from before you were a guardian until now and now you're just suddenly old? It doesn't seem like complete erasure because he doesn't seem surprised that he's old, but going into the Marinette thing, clearly Marinette and Adrien are still endgame. That would be horrible for her to one day look at an old Adrien who she still loves and have no idea how they got together or why he calls her Milady. Does that sound like a happily ever after to you?

Oh that's a cute moment with Marianne.

[Hi I'm not dead, just suffering super depression]

God I can't believe we're doing this again

Alcohol: check. Water: needed.

I am prepared for this! I am not prepared for this.

This is clearly the good animation studio, there's subtleties in the hair motions and the way their fingers bend as they're swiping. I feel bad that this studio has to work on such a dogshit show

Also fuck Luka.

God I hate this man and how pretentious he sounds. I'm not nearly drunk enough for this. He has the second most punchable face on the show. He has one of the most annoying personalities. It's only compounded by the fact that there's people who actually think he's a deep character and would suck his dick. Ugh.

[Who's the most punchable face?]

Kyle XY. He does a disservice to Kyles everywhere.

It doesn't help his case that he's holding her off from her job to play this shit song. He could be like oh you're busy let me help you and then show you this thing. This man aggravates me.

Does he actually have to be doing this right now?

You just said you found her sound and now you're saying it's not right? What a dick

Where did he have the second helmet?

That [Gabriel's gift to Andre and Audrey] looks horrible.

They blue-ified Kagami's hair.

The actual answer to their long 20 years of marriage is the fact that she cheats on him on the regular. That or he's a cuck.

Chloe grew up in an environment where her parents didn't love each other, and she didn't learn love. And in that way, she's neglected like Adrien or like Kagami, which makes them all foils to Marinette, and that's what makes this interesting. All these characters are reflections of each other. Marinette has the both loving parents, Chloe has no loving parents, and Adrien and Kagami each have one distant parent. Which is also why Luka is a foil for Adrien, because he has one parent but a much different relationship with them. It's good writing.

Party foul. You don't put a cookie back once you pick it up.

It is nice to see Kagami and Adrien just being kids.

They're going into the pool full of eggs. Oh they're balloons. IT'S A BALL PIT.

How does her hair gain an entire foot of length just by taking it out of very short pigtails?

This feels like it was meant to be the end of the series.

Oh they're getting merged into another akuma aren't they. It worked well for Alya and Nino's shared embarrassment, so maybe their shared hatred of each other?

Did they just fucking bail on the party?

I'm surprised it took them this long to do another doub-OH MY GOD I HATE IT.

Fang has a little bow!

I like how simple and elegant Mayura's transformation is.

oh it's THIS episode isn't it. I remember you BITCHING about this episode.

So Adrien is peppermint?

Just put three scoops of ice cream. You dickwad. Peppermint is actually two flavors. Orange and blackberry work really well.

"Are you sure, Marinette?" You're the one who says they can't have multiple you dick!

Mint abhorrifies a lot of flavors. and orange is one of the WORST. it's like the orange juice curdles in your mouth.

They should've swapped Kagami's and Adrien's. Orange makes sense for Kagami. Blackberry for Adrien, raspberry for Marinette, so they're a perfect pair but also Kagami makes a really good complement to them.

I do like this show but I can't wait 20 years for a reboot of it so it's actually good

"I wish I didn't have to involve you in this." No you don't you don't give a shit.

I like how Hawkmoth is calling out the entirety of the plot.

Is this the episode that makes her think she should start handing out the miraculous permanently? That would be good storytelling.

You just carry all the miraculouses around with you, Fu?

Maybe don't scream shout your transformation

Okay I actually like Fu's hero design

So this is the one that confirmed adults don't have a time limit.

Chloe really actually should've gotten a miraculous. She had a very good point. They're her parents, she should be the one to save them.

I actually really like this moment. He brings up a good point. Marinette has let her hatred of Chloe get in the way.

Huh he can deakumatize them himself.

Why are the Chloe episodes always the best?

Kagami's wearing American shoes. the converse.

That's actually a really good moment for Luka. If this was my first time seeing him I'd think he was a little weird but an okay fit.

hope yall are doing well

this doesn't mean I'm back now but I might be checking in slightly more often

hope you have a great day