Arcanum

So my metamour has an accumulation of personal problems going on in her life. I don't blame nor invalidate her because gods know I've experienced it. Everyone has a right to cope in their own way. The only issue is that it's starting to affect my mindset and now I feel as though I'm being pushed aside. Her mindset atm makes her reliant on my partner. Therefore, she feels like a priority which I don't mind because mental health regression isn't easy. I love my partner and appreciate my metamour for who they are individually. However, the princess mindset and hierarchical needs are transforming my feelings into resentment(we practice kitchen-table). I fully support their relationship, but I fear that if she becomes too needy I'll feel myself slip away. I'll become distant toward him and she'll become the source of my anger. I don't want that. How are we(as partners) suppose to progress our relationship if she is constantly feeling like she holds more value over me? It's draining and I don't see this positively if this is going to be a constant issue. I didn't come into this relationship to feel invalued and feel like a second option, AGAIN. We're equals and she needs to understand that I need attention too. "She's being so needy", okay? Then reassure her and tell her that she shouldn't be hinting at hierarchy. I need to talk to my partner regarding my concerns, but I don't want to add to his plate. I'm not a burden, but he needs to address the severity of his depression first. I just don't know how to approach this at the moment. I need a distraction and to vent. Glad I'm seeing my play partner tomorrow because I need the attention and caring energy. If I continue like this, it's going to give me flashbacks of the toxic 'polyamourous' relationship I had. I don't want that. I can't experience that again.

I have covid after going 2 almost 3 years since this shit started. It's not bad because I'm vaccinated and have no underlying illnesses. Just an intense, raspy cold.

I'm so exhausted with everything, but I refuse to be drowned.