Envious Death would drink his blood, and grow young again...
Gather ‘round the campfire, for you are going to hear about the local cryptid hiding in these woods
Greetings, I am Ghostie [he/they]. I am the 20 o' cryptid in the woods of tumblr and I appear late at night around campfires to tell you stories I think up from my favorite animes.
Proceed with caution, for some stories may not be for the faint of heart or the young
Like my work? toss a coin into the fountain
Requests: Open [always <3]
Campfire Stories
The Next Town Over
Feel free to Scream Into The Void
Please ask if you want to translate my work, do not feed my work to AI, do NOT repost my work
ask to be moots! I'm bad with talking to people and very awkward so you need to reach out first <3 (Just dm me!)
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hello! i’m just wondering if you’ll make the smut for vamp! levi gender neutral as well? i just wanna prepare myself if it isn’t because i’m invested and don’t wanna get jump-scared yk? love ur work!! 🫶
Gender neutral pronouns would stay the same obviously!
As for anatomy i don’t quite know yet, i probably won’t go into specifics if that is what people would prefer but if my audience for that would want specific anatomy i would love to provide
Or i could do multiple versions of it for different preferences (although i wouldn’t want to clog inboxes or anything)
cw: Yandere themes, stalking, harm to others, harm to you, murder, death, Stockholm Syndrome, oral (f receiving) f reader but no pronouns used
You knew something was up, there was something creepy happening on campus. You constantly feel eyes on you wherever you go, and yes you are on a college campus but that doesn't mean that this level of paranoia is normal for everyone. You told yourself you would keep it to yourself, and not tell your friends— don't worry them about your anxiety.
"Hey-o." You hear, seeing a glimpse of blond as you feel a body drape itself over your shoulders. You take your hands off the keyboard of your computer and pat his arm.
"Hi Min. How was class?" You ask as he walks over to sit across from you in the dining hall. You prop your head up on your arm, elbow on the table as you scoot your computer over to the side to see him fully.
"Long. Lots of notes." He complains, taking your cup of water and sipping from it.
"Well it's your fault for being a marine biology major, dummy." You take your water cup back from him and set it further away from him this time. He pouts before standing up and going to get his own water.
You just know that you are being watched, you can feel it. You have felt it for the past hour as you've been studying in the dining hall, waiting for your friends to come get lunch with you.
Armin sits back down across from you with a cup of soda, smiling at you.
"Thought you were trying to stop drinking soda?" You say, going back to looking at your computer, sighing as you realize you probably should start to study for an upcoming test.
"I'm a stem major, leave me alone. It's better than drinking three cups of coffee a day." He pokes the empty coffee cup sat on the table in between you two.
"Shush it. I don't drink three cups a day." You retort before feeling someone kiss the top of your head, black hair falling into your face.
"You're right, you're at two cups of coffee and an energy drink now." Mikasa says as she stands above the chair next to you, Eren silently sitting on the other side of you.
"Okay, no that's only during finals." You point at her. watching as she rolls her eyes and drapes her jacket on her seat before walking away.
"Move your shit man, taking up half the table to play stardew valley on your computer." Jean complains as he walks up and sits next to Armin, setting his bag under his chair and resting his head on Armin's shoulder.
"God, I'm not even fuckin' playing right now. I was actually doing work before you guys showed up." You complain, closing your notebook and computer, shoving them in your bag with a sigh.
"That's surprising, thought for sure you'd be be-lining to Harvey right now." Jean comments, shoving his face into Armin's chest as Armin complains at him.
"Ow Jean, quit dude." He hits him lightly on the back of the head. Jean remain unfazed as he rests his head on Armin's chest, burying his head into his t-shirt.
Eren grabs your pen that had scattered across the table silently and places it in the pocket of your bag for you wordlessly.
"Why do you even lay all your shit out to study for like half an hour? You barely get anything done before we get here." Connie loudly proclaims as he pulls a chair up placing Sasha's bag on it before taking his own seat on the other side of Armin.
"God, you guys are just the worst, aren't you?" You say as Eren grabs your empty coffee cup and stands up.
"Is he in a mood or something? Why is he so quiet?" Connie asks as Mikasa sits down again, this time with a plate of food.
"Probably got another bad grade on a test or something. I swear he never studies or does his work." Jean steals a fry from Mikasa's plate, pouting as she smacks his hand for it.
"Go get your own if you want it so badly."
"That's not true, we study together in the library sometimes." You defend him as Jean rubs the smack on his hand to lessen the sting.
"Jean, what do you want to eat?" Armin asks, lifting the boy off him to stand up. Staring down at the brunette until he answers, "Pizza and fries." Jean's dopey grin could earn an eye roll from anyone but Armin who just nodded and smiled at him before walking away. Sasha sits down between Connie and Mikasa, setting down two plates of food in front of her with a smile.
"Good food today." She stares at her plate like a starved animal, already taking a bite as she leans so far forward you swore she could lick the plate if she wanted.
"Wings? Is it fuckin' parents weekend or something?" Connie proclaims as he sees the girl stick an entire chicken wing in her mouth.
"If she was a cartoon her pupils would turn into hearts when she eats." You comment as Eren sits back down next to you, leaning against the wall.
"Connie, they can have good food in here without it being some event you know." Mikasa comments as she slowly works at her food.
"There's a basketball game tonight, didn't you move your car already for it?" Jean comments, leaning his head on the table as he waits for his headrest to return with his food.
"Nah, parked it off campus about a week ago. Got sick and tired of moving it each time." He comments before pushing himself up and walking away.
"Jean, here. Also got some extra wings if you want any." Armin comments as he sits back down. You swear you could see true love cross Jean's face as he rests his head on Armin's shoulder again.
"We're getting married on the lawn at 5pm today." Jean shoves one of Armin's wings in his mouth.
"Hey hey, don't get any of that on my sweater." Armin pushes Jean's head up off his shoulder. He pouts but stays leaning over his plate as he scarfs down his food.
"If he gets any on your sweater he's wasting it." Sasha says with a mouthful of wings.
"He didn't deny the wedding though." You comment, smiling as you feel more at peace with all of them around. Less watched. You rest your head on Mikasa's shoulder with a soft sigh as Jean jokingly tries to kiss Armin on the cheek— Armin dodging every attempt.
"Fuck, I forgot I have a test in 5. See ya' " Connie says, grabbing his backpack and shoving his phone in his pocket. Stealing a wing off Sasha's plate as he all but runs out the cafe.
"Dumbass." You call out to him as he runs away, giving you a middle finger in return as he leaves.
"Anyways. How were classes today?" Jean says in between bites looking down at his food intently.
"Mine were fine, very long." Armin says, leaning his head on Jeans shoulder.
"Fine. I'm tired." You say, looking over your shoulder once more out of habit at this point.
"Dumb, stupid business courses are full of dickheads." Eren complains, sitting with his back against the wall and his arm on the back of his chair. Completely turned to you.
"Why are you even in business courses? Aren't you a sociology major?" You ask, turning to him and tilting your head.
"Poli-sci minor requires it." He pouts.
"You gonna get anything to eat?" You ask quietly to him as Jean starts talking about his art class he had that day. Something about how he hates carrying everything for it all the way there and back.
"Mmmmaybe. They usually don't have good shit though." He grumbles.
"Well, you want me to come look with you while I maybe… grab some coffee?"
"That would be your third today." He leans forward, his brown hair cascading in front of his face.
"Lucky guess." You roll your eyes and pout a little at him calling you out. "Go get food."
He stands up, walking away from the table silently. You pull out your phone and see the guy you had been talking to had texted you a bit ago confirming your date tonight.
"You've got a smile, who are you texting?" Jean asks.
"Their new boyfriend." Mikasa teased, already leaned over your shoulder to read your messages.
"Hey! Mind your own business." You chide, hiding your phone screen from her.
"What's his name?" Armin asks.
"I'm not telling. Every time I do one of you scares him off." You shove your phone in your pocket.
"Boooo." Sasha says with a mouth full of food. Eren comes back and grabs his stuff.
"Nothing good here. Gonna go back to my dorm." He mumbles, leaving without time for anyone to bid him a goodbye.
After a little bit you have to hurry to class, a boring english class you had already known everything from in high school. You sit in the back with the crossword pulled up on your computer.
You were happy Paradis was a small private college, most of the classrooms looked nothing like the lecture halls you pictured for your college experience. You had actual tables, and space for your stuff. Not to mention rolling chairs.
Every answer you typed in to your crossword felt like you were being judged for it, yet no one in this small room could see your computer screen.
Once your professor was done lecturing for the day, leaving everyone to do some work on their computers for the essay you had finished the second she assigned it, you pack your things and leave.
The paranoia got worse when you had to deal with getting out of your class at the same time as everyone else, walking in the large crowd of people to get out the door or to your next class was awful.
You always felt like you were being followed no matter where you went.
You walk the long way, down the back stairs and to the back door of Rose Hall, in between that and another building. There was a small bench there, probably hasn't had visitors in years but you enjoyed this less crowded walk less. You walk to your dorm hall, preparing for the insane ritual you had created just to get into your room.
First you walk in through the door, then you take the elevator up two floors, then you get on the other one to go down a floor. Then you walk up the stairs that open right next to your dorm room.
You had started this because there was a long haired guy who apparently lived on the same floor as you who you did not want to ride in an elevator with. You think his name was Connor or something. All you know is that he was in one of Eren's business courses.
You unlock your door, slipping in and shutting it behind you quickly.
You had until 4:30 and then you had another class. But at least you could relax a little more in your dorm room. No one could get in without you or your roommate letting them in.
You get ready to leave a bit early, realizing just how hungry you are. You swing open your door and a brightly colored rectangle catches your vision. It was a bright red envelope with nothing but a heart written on it.
Fuck, again?
You rip it off the door, the tape coming easily, and shove it in your pocket. You walk to the library where your ASL class was and walk up the stairs to the small isolated convenient store located in the building.
Scanning and paying for what you want, you duck into the empty classroom waiting for your class to start.
You pull out the letter from your pocket, you don't even want to read it. Morbid curiosity gets the better of you and you flip open the top. It wasn't sealed.
In there are two pieces of lined paper, and two Polaroids. You carefully take the lined paper out first, unfolding it.
Two full pages of scratchy hand writing.
My love, my everything. You don't appraciate appreciate me like I do you. One day you will. You are perfect in every way. The way you lean so close to the table when taking notes, the way you purse your lips when you are really focused. My favorite however is how you are always looking around to try and find me. You never will, but I love it still. It makes me feel happy loved. I do so much for you that you dont notice and every time I want to slaughter them all. I wish you would notice everything I do for you. One day I will make you notice. I love everything about you, and soon you will love me too. I wish to hold you all day everyday, and one day I will. I hate it when you dont love me back. All these guys you keep talking too, one day soon I will you will learn better than to do that.
The rest of the page was similar scratchy handwriting scrawling the entire page front and back. The second page however…
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I will kill for you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I will kill for you. I love you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I love you.
You fold up the paper and put it back in the envelope, taking out the pictures now.
Your stomach lurched and you slam them down on the desk face down.
"You okay?" A voice sounds from the other side of the classroom. You hadn't noticed them walk in.
"Oh, yeah sorry."
"No worries, you ready for the test?" They ask. Fuck.
"Shit, I forgot about that." Admittedly you had the best grade in the class since they put you in 101 but still you liked to be prepared.
"Good luck." You smile at them and wish them the same thing.
You pick the pictures back up. Were these taken today? You check your outfit and hair, definitely taken today.
The first a picture of you in your class earlier playing the crossword. When you had picked up your phone to text the guy you were having dinner with again.
The second, you in the cafe after Armin had gotten there. Him with your water cup pressed to his lips in the picture.
Your class friend Ellie sits next to you and gives you a smile. "How are you?"
"Uh… eh. Still dealing with the guy." She was the only person you had told about your stalker. It felt good to tell someone you never see around campus.
"Really? He hasn't given up yet?" She asks, pulling out her computer with a pink case on it.
"Nope, gotten worse."
"And campus security hasn't done anything?" She asks logging in to the lock-down software we have to use for these tests.
"Nope. I doubt they will." You say pulling out your own computer.
Your professor walks in and everything after was just like every other day. You left early after finishing your test, walking to your dorm room to get ready for your date.
You left as soon as you were ready. Being on campus gives you the creeps you'd rather be walking somewhere half an hour early than you needed to.
You had met this guy in the library on campus, he asked to sit with you in a study room and you got to talking. He seemed somewhat bitter when you first sat with him, but after a little he really warmed up. If anything he was just a bit overconfident in his abilities.
You sat in a coffee shop next to the restaurant until it was acceptable early. You walk inside and up to the hostess.
"Hi!" Before you could say anything else you heard his voice.
"Both early then." He laughs and steps next to you. He sorts out the seat with a reservation and you are lead to the table.
"Hi Porco. How was your day?" You ask after he pushes your chair in for you.
"Was great since I get to be here with you." He smiles at you, you can't help but smile at his stupid line. "How was your day?" He asks.
"I had this to carry me through." You take a sip of your water. Your shoulders were a little more relaxed now that you were off campus.
He ordered wine for the both of you and conversation flowed the entire night. You told him at one point how you hated living on campus.
"We don't have classes tomorrow, you can stay at my place if you want." The wine helps you not weight this option as much as you should.
"Really?"
"Yeah of course."
"Okay then."
You leave with him after he pays and you walk towards his apartment. It's a quick walk and he lets you in.
"The bedroom is down that hallway, so is the bathroom. You can take the bed and I'll sleep on the couch." He offers.
"Oh, but I don't want to take your bed."
"No no, I insist. Clean sheets and everything." He says grabbing a pillow and blanket and putting it on the couch.
You wake up to a thunk in the living room, turning to your side and grabbing your phone. Dead. You decide to take a peek outside the room to check if he was okay.
You crack the door open, sticking your head out of it as you tried to get a good read on what time it was from the light in the living room.
It was dark, a small blue hue on everything the window light touched. Was that rug always there? It looked black, a noticeable contrast to the rest of the decorations of the apartment— you'd have noticed if it was there when you walked in wouldn't you?
"Porco?" You whisper, another thunk sounds from just beyond your view of the living room.
You step out his room, quiet and slow— deliberately slow. Creeping down the hallway as you get a better look at the "rug" you could barely see. It looked like it was growing, no longer entirely black but you couldn't make out the color in this light.
You turn your head before the sound registers, very labored breathing. A shaky inhale and exhale through the throat that sounded like a zombie sound effect. Your date was halfway off the couch; holding his neck as the same color as the "rug" covered his hands.
Holy fuck its blood. You realize, taking a step back as the blood in your body ran so cold you felt frozen in place.
"Shit." You hear a voice say behind you before a towel is placed on your face. You can't even think to fight it. Your brain is screaming at you to yell, fight back, run, anything but you're stuck.
Your shoulders hurt, a stabbing pain that your body can no longer dull enough for your grogginess to ignore. You sniffle a little as you try to wake yourself up, a damp mildew like smell fills your senses as you start to look around.
Blank concrete walls, a drain in the middle of the room's floor. Seemingly one door in front of you. No locks.
Where the fuck were you?
You try to pull your arms from the position hurting your shoulders so but cannot. Something yanks at your wrist urgently. You try to turn your body to see it; your arms propped behind you on a chair. You try to change your footing on the cold concrete floor but feel the same tug.
Rope. You're tied here.
Where the fuck were you?
The overwhelming rush of wanting to just be back in your own dorm room hits you. You try to thrash around in the chair to free yourself but cannot.
A click sounds from the other side of the door. Then another, then another. You loose track of just how many you hear before the door open to Eren.
"Eren! Thank fuck, what is happening?" You ask, looking at the door's locks on the outside. Holy shit, seven? All different kinds of locks too.
"Let me explain, darling." He kneels down in front of you.
"Kay just get this rope off first." You nod towards your feet tied to the chair. His hair down for the first time in a while, his hands on his knees stained a bit pinker thank normal.
"Can't do that, darling. You'd just try to run." He says, standing up and taking a step closer to you. Brushing his hand against your cheek.
"What? Eren. Where are we?" You move your head away from his hand, upset he isn't explaining at such a dire moment like this. You were trapped and he wasn't helping at all.
"You're home now. Well… below it. I made this room in the basement for you to adjust to your new life in." He says walking to your right and sitting himself on a tiny bed in the room.
"The fuck do you mean new life?" You turn as best you can to face him— only really being able to turn your head; no doubt creating a crick in your neck for later.
"Darling, it took you too long to notice. I want to give you everything in life. I love you." Your stomach lurched. The letter that was taped to your door flashed through your mind. Eren's handwriting looks just about that bad.
"Eren. You have to listen to me, I need you to untie me for my safety. I have a stalker an-"
"I don't like being called that!" He yells, you jump and close your mouth. Oh shit. "I love you, I do everything to keep you safe."
"Putting a letter by my door doesn't keep me safe." You turn your head to the door in front of you again, nauseous at the sight of what you thought was a close friend.
"Putting the letter on your door were to make you notice all that I've done for you. You said you liked getting love letters from people."
"People I'm dating not some crazy stalker!" You yell watching as he shoots up to stand.
"Don't fucking call me that!" He stood over you now, your whole body as tense as it could be. "I'm your soulmate. Your one and only. Got that?"
"The fuck did you do to Porco?" You ask, remembering the scene you had seen before everything went blank in your memory.
"What he fucking deserved for trying to get close to what is mine." He grits his teeth, leaning down to be centimeters away from your face. "I love you." His voice is stern, not that of love but control and demand.
"Untie me."
"Not until you do what I want." He stands there, waiting. "You say it to all of our friends so why can't you say it now?" You stay silent. Maybe it could end all of this but if you try to say it the bile in your throat would rise.
It feels like eternity that he stands there, your mouth filling over and over again with saliva as you try to push it down. Finally he walks to the door.
"Fine. Just means you stay in here longer." He slams the door before you hear each and every one of the clicks locking it again.
Your brain starts moving faster than ever. How the fuck does he have a place like this, doesn't he live on campus? No he moved off before this semester because he got a really cheap place. It's a house? That or you are in the basement of an apartment complex, but then someone was bound to notice the door with every kind of lock on it right? You had to hope.
That hope slowly died as more and more time passed and your heart raced.
If you say it he will let you out, right? Just say it. You've said it to him before. But he seemed disgusted at you saying it to him before when leaving your dorm late one night after watching a movie.
You felt your chest heave with each breath, the cold lines on your face only register as tears when you feel one fall off your face and into your lap. You look down seeing clothes you do not remember ever putting on.
Your stomach retches at the realization they aren't your clothes but the man you once called one of your best friends. The fuck else did he do to you?
You eventually cry yourself to sleep you guess by the fact the next time you open your eyes you are laying on the bed in the room.
Your arm attached to the bedpost with a long chain. Surely not enough to reach the door. You could probably only reach the drain.
You realize why you woke up as you sit up. The door was creaking open to Eren standing there with food for you.
"Our friends are asking about you. It would be so much easier for you if you gave me what I wanted."
"What sick lie did you tell them?" You ask as he sets the tray of food down on the foot of the bed.
"You needed some time away. Don't worry I forged the documents for your classes too. You are in a hospital for a bad mental state until I say otherwise." He walks over, kissing you on the forehead before leaving the room.
Fuck. His dad was a doctor there's no doubt he did forge those documents. Probably with his help.
You have no clue how long you are in there for. All you know was it was long enough for your hair to get disgustingly dirty. And for you to start seriously. contemplating telling him what he wanted.
It wasn't like you didn't love him, he did so much for you your entire friendship.
Some sick part of you was flattered he cared this much for you. The sick part of you that would stay up thinking about what you would do if he came into your room while you were laying down. The sick part that wondered how he felt inside of you.
That sick part grew everyday little by little. Each time he gave you a book you wanted to read, each time he gave your head a kiss, each time he would stare at you as you did anything in the room.
He would often come down and sit on the chair to do his homework or study. Just existing in the room with you silently.
You had started to fight the urge to give in and say it, almost slipping up a few times. And he knew. There was no way he didn't know. There was a camera in the room after all.
Who knows how many times your body has betrayed you in your sleep as your body rutted itself against the mattress. The shame you always wake up with after is overwhelming.
"I love you." He stares into your eyes as he says it. He always does, to prove his love for you.
"I love you too, Eren." You whisper without thinking anymore. He stares blankly at you, his hand twitching at his side.
"I know. I watch you. Constantly." His hand touches your cheek, then trails down to hold your neck to keep you looking up at him. Your cheeks flush pink and you try to look away from him.
"I love you." He repeats, his voice still as hard as the first time he said it to you in here. His control was love, and you didn't realize that at first.
His hand trails down to the waist band of the pants he had put on you. He pulls them down agonizingly slow as he lays on his stomach between your legs. Tossing the pants off the bed before he takes a long sniff of the panties he had left you in. He tugs them off and stuffs them into his pocket before burying his face.
Licking, sucking and biting like a madman. Each time your legs tensed around his head he would groan into you.
Whining whenever you would pull his hair.
Rutting his hips into the bed as you said his name over and over again before you came.
Your whole body feeling like TV static as you repeated "I love you" over again before your brain became pure mush.
When he finally pulled back you were sore and twitching, barely able to open your eyes and completely soaked from the combination of his spit and you.
Eren shakily gets up from the bed, a sticky stain adorning the front of his pants and a part of your bed as he walks out of the room with your panties in his pocket.
Soon you start to sleep in his room without the clunky chain around your wrist. Doing a few online classes here and there, mainly staying at home for him.
His room was covered in pictures of you, things you had given him and of course his prized possession your panties hung right above his bed.
He took your phone to get into your dorm room. No doubt lying to your roommate in the process. But coming home with more of your things to put in his room.
Emptying his drawers to keep your clothes in his room, the way he started replacing the pictures of you with pictures of the pair of you two now. Usually ones he took of you fucked out of your mind.
"Darling, you said you wanted to go back to real classes?" He questioned, tilting his head as he stood in the doorway to the bedroom.
"I just… I don't want an online Uni degree, you know? In person looks so much better. Plus I miss our friends." You confess, worried of his reaction. He was an overbearing boyfriend after all.
"Well… how will people know you're mine?" He questions.
"I can wear a ring." You offered.
"That just proves you're someones. Not mine." He walks into the room, laying down on the bed between your legs again. You had quickly learned that wearing pants around the house was pointless, if anything more hassle.
He lapped away at you like he does every day. As you try to reason with him to leave the apartment sometime, each word you say spurring him on even more to make sure you couldn't talk by the end.
He pushed his tongue in and out, his nose hitting you perfectly as your words turned into a love confession like they did every time.
Tears pricked your eyes at pleasure as he pushed in, his tip sticky and sensitive already. His mouth on yours, his tongue so deep in your mouth his teeth were against yours. His arms wrapped around you; holding you so tight if he could climb in your chest he would.
Once you were a twitchy puddle of nothing, he walked away. Coming back with a knife, flipping you over.
You felt a dull pain on your lower back as you barely stayed conscious in bed with him. Finally you felt him wrap his arms around you tightly as he stoked your hair, laying you on his chest. His name carved deep into your skin and your body in his arms. Just like it was meant to be.
(Person from earlier yan eren request hello!) I would personally prefer a part two for the drabble (if thats possible) :o but really Im up to anything like a new story or part two for the other story!! Or literally anything that motivates you more :]
cw: Yandere themes, stalking, harm to others, harm to you, murder, death, Stockholm Syndrome, oral (f receiving) f reader but no pronouns used
You knew something was up, there was something creepy happening on campus. You constantly feel eyes on you wherever you go, and yes you are on a college campus but that doesn't mean that this level of paranoia is normal for everyone. You told yourself you would keep it to yourself, and not tell your friends— don't worry them about your anxiety.
"Hey-o." You hear, seeing a glimpse of blond as you feel a body drape itself over your shoulders. You take your hands off the keyboard of your computer and pat his arm.
"Hi Min. How was class?" You ask as he walks over to sit across from you in the dining hall. You prop your head up on your arm, elbow on the table as you scoot your computer over to the side to see him fully.
"Long. Lots of notes." He complains, taking your cup of water and sipping from it.
"Well it's your fault for being a marine biology major, dummy." You take your water cup back from him and set it further away from him this time. He pouts before standing up and going to get his own water.
You just know that you are being watched, you can feel it. You have felt it for the past hour as you've been studying in the dining hall, waiting for your friends to come get lunch with you.
Armin sits back down across from you with a cup of soda, smiling at you.
"Thought you were trying to stop drinking soda?" You say, going back to looking at your computer, sighing as you realize you probably should start to study for an upcoming test.
"I'm a stem major, leave me alone. It's better than drinking three cups of coffee a day." He pokes the empty coffee cup sat on the table in between you two.
"Shush it. I don't drink three cups a day." You retort before feeling someone kiss the top of your head, black hair falling into your face.
"You're right, you're at two cups of coffee and an energy drink now." Mikasa says as she stands above the chair next to you, Eren silently sitting on the other side of you.
"Okay, no that's only during finals." You point at her. watching as she rolls her eyes and drapes her jacket on her seat before walking away.
"Move your shit man, taking up half the table to play stardew valley on your computer." Jean complains as he walks up and sits next to Armin, setting his bag under his chair and resting his head on Armin's shoulder.
"God, I'm not even fuckin' playing right now. I was actually doing work before you guys showed up." You complain, closing your notebook and computer, shoving them in your bag with a sigh.
"That's surprising, thought for sure you'd be be-lining to Harvey right now." Jean comments, shoving his face into Armin's chest as Armin complains at him.
"Ow Jean, quit dude." He hits him lightly on the back of the head. Jean remain unfazed as he rests his head on Armin's chest, burying his head into his t-shirt.
Eren grabs your pen that had scattered across the table silently and places it in the pocket of your bag for you wordlessly.
"Why do you even lay all your shit out to study for like half an hour? You barely get anything done before we get here." Connie loudly proclaims as he pulls a chair up placing Sasha's bag on it before taking his own seat on the other side of Armin.
"God, you guys are just the worst, aren't you?" You say as Eren grabs your empty coffee cup and stands up.
"Is he in a mood or something? Why is he so quiet?" Connie asks as Mikasa sits down again, this time with a plate of food.
"Probably got another bad grade on a test or something. I swear he never studies or does his work." Jean steals a fry from Mikasa's plate, pouting as she smacks his hand for it.
"Go get your own if you want it so badly."
"That's not true, we study together in the library sometimes." You defend him as Jean rubs the smack on his hand to lessen the sting.
"Jean, what do you want to eat?" Armin asks, lifting the boy off him to stand up. Staring down at the brunette until he answers, "Pizza and fries." Jean's dopey grin could earn an eye roll from anyone but Armin who just nodded and smiled at him before walking away. Sasha sits down between Connie and Mikasa, setting down two plates of food in front of her with a smile.
"Good food today." She stares at her plate like a starved animal, already taking a bite as she leans so far forward you swore she could lick the plate if she wanted.
"Wings? Is it fuckin' parents weekend or something?" Connie proclaims as he sees the girl stick an entire chicken wing in her mouth.
"If she was a cartoon her pupils would turn into hearts when she eats." You comment as Eren sits back down next to you, leaning against the wall.
"Connie, they can have good food in here without it being some event you know." Mikasa comments as she slowly works at her food.
"There's a basketball game tonight, didn't you move your car already for it?" Jean comments, leaning his head on the table as he waits for his headrest to return with his food.
"Nah, parked it off campus about a week ago. Got sick and tired of moving it each time." He comments before pushing himself up and walking away.
"Jean, here. Also got some extra wings if you want any." Armin comments as he sits back down. You swear you could see true love cross Jean's face as he rests his head on Armin's shoulder again.
"We're getting married on the lawn at 5pm today." Jean shoves one of Armin's wings in his mouth.
"Hey hey, don't get any of that on my sweater." Armin pushes Jean's head up off his shoulder. He pouts but stays leaning over his plate as he scarfs down his food.
"If he gets any on your sweater he's wasting it." Sasha says with a mouthful of wings.
"He didn't deny the wedding though." You comment, smiling as you feel more at peace with all of them around. Less watched. You rest your head on Mikasa's shoulder with a soft sigh as Jean jokingly tries to kiss Armin on the cheek— Armin dodging every attempt.
"Fuck, I forgot I have a test in 5. See ya' " Connie says, grabbing his backpack and shoving his phone in his pocket. Stealing a wing off Sasha's plate as he all but runs out the cafe.
"Dumbass." You call out to him as he runs away, giving you a middle finger in return as he leaves.
"Anyways. How were classes today?" Jean says in between bites looking down at his food intently.
"Mine were fine, very long." Armin says, leaning his head on Jeans shoulder.
"Fine. I'm tired." You say, looking over your shoulder once more out of habit at this point.
"Dumb, stupid business courses are full of dickheads." Eren complains, sitting with his back against the wall and his arm on the back of his chair. Completely turned to you.
"Why are you even in business courses? Aren't you a sociology major?" You ask, turning to him and tilting your head.
"Poli-sci minor requires it." He pouts.
"You gonna get anything to eat?" You ask quietly to him as Jean starts talking about his art class he had that day. Something about how he hates carrying everything for it all the way there and back.
"Mmmmaybe. They usually don't have good shit though." He grumbles.
"Well, you want me to come look with you while I maybe… grab some coffee?"
"That would be your third today." He leans forward, his brown hair cascading in front of his face.
"Lucky guess." You roll your eyes and pout a little at him calling you out. "Go get food."
He stands up, walking away from the table silently. You pull out your phone and see the guy you had been talking to had texted you a bit ago confirming your date tonight.
"You've got a smile, who are you texting?" Jean asks.
"Their new boyfriend." Mikasa teased, already leaned over your shoulder to read your messages.
"Hey! Mind your own business." You chide, hiding your phone screen from her.
"What's his name?" Armin asks.
"I'm not telling. Every time I do one of you scares him off." You shove your phone in your pocket.
"Boooo." Sasha says with a mouth full of food. Eren comes back and grabs his stuff.
"Nothing good here. Gonna go back to my dorm." He mumbles, leaving without time for anyone to bid him a goodbye.
After a little bit you have to hurry to class, a boring english class you had already known everything from in high school. You sit in the back with the crossword pulled up on your computer.
You were happy Paradis was a small private college, most of the classrooms looked nothing like the lecture halls you pictured for your college experience. You had actual tables, and space for your stuff. Not to mention rolling chairs.
Every answer you typed in to your crossword felt like you were being judged for it, yet no one in this small room could see your computer screen.
Once your professor was done lecturing for the day, leaving everyone to do some work on their computers for the essay you had finished the second she assigned it, you pack your things and leave.
The paranoia got worse when you had to deal with getting out of your class at the same time as everyone else, walking in the large crowd of people to get out the door or to your next class was awful.
You always felt like you were being followed no matter where you went.
You walk the long way, down the back stairs and to the back door of Rose Hall, in between that and another building. There was a small bench there, probably hasn't had visitors in years but you enjoyed this less crowded walk less. You walk to your dorm hall, preparing for the insane ritual you had created just to get into your room.
First you walk in through the door, then you take the elevator up two floors, then you get on the other one to go down a floor. Then you walk up the stairs that open right next to your dorm room.
You had started this because there was a long haired guy who apparently lived on the same floor as you who you did not want to ride in an elevator with. You think his name was Connor or something. All you know is that he was in one of Eren's business courses.
You unlock your door, slipping in and shutting it behind you quickly.
You had until 4:30 and then you had another class. But at least you could relax a little more in your dorm room. No one could get in without you or your roommate letting them in.
You get ready to leave a bit early, realizing just how hungry you are. You swing open your door and a brightly colored rectangle catches your vision. It was a bright red envelope with nothing but a heart written on it.
Fuck, again?
You rip it off the door, the tape coming easily, and shove it in your pocket. You walk to the library where your ASL class was and walk up the stairs to the small isolated convenient store located in the building.
Scanning and paying for what you want, you duck into the empty classroom waiting for your class to start.
You pull out the letter from your pocket, you don't even want to read it. Morbid curiosity gets the better of you and you flip open the top. It wasn't sealed.
In there are two pieces of lined paper, and two Polaroids. You carefully take the lined paper out first, unfolding it.
Two full pages of scratchy hand writing.
My love, my everything. You don't appraciate appreciate me like I do you. One day you will. You are perfect in every way. The way you lean so close to the table when taking notes, the way you purse your lips when you are really focused. My favorite however is how you are always looking around to try and find me. You never will, but I love it still. It makes me feel happy loved. I do so much for you that you dont notice and every time I want to slaughter them all. I wish you would notice everything I do for you. One day I will make you notice. I love everything about you, and soon you will love me too. I wish to hold you all day everyday, and one day I will. I hate it when you dont love me back. All these guys you keep talking too, one day soon I will you will learn better than to do that.
The rest of the page was similar scratchy handwriting scrawling the entire page front and back. The second page however…
I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I will kill for you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I will kill for you. I love you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I will kill for you. I love you.
You fold up the paper and put it back in the envelope, taking out the pictures now.
Your stomach lurched and you slam them down on the desk face down.
"You okay?" A voice sounds from the other side of the classroom. You hadn't noticed them walk in.
"Oh, yeah sorry."
"No worries, you ready for the test?" They ask. Fuck.
"Shit, I forgot about that." Admittedly you had the best grade in the class since they put you in 101 but still you liked to be prepared.
"Good luck." You smile at them and wish them the same thing.
You pick the pictures back up. Were these taken today? You check your outfit and hair, definitely taken today.
The first a picture of you in your class earlier playing the crossword. When you had picked up your phone to text the guy you were having dinner with again.
The second, you in the cafe after Armin had gotten there. Him with your water cup pressed to his lips in the picture.
Your class friend Ellie sits next to you and gives you a smile. "How are you?"
"Uh… eh. Still dealing with the guy." She was the only person you had told about your stalker. It felt good to tell someone you never see around campus.
"Really? He hasn't given up yet?" She asks, pulling out her computer with a pink case on it.
"Nope, gotten worse."
"And campus security hasn't done anything?" She asks logging in to the lock-down software we have to use for these tests.
"Nope. I doubt they will." You say pulling out your own computer.
Your professor walks in and everything after was just like every other day. You left early after finishing your test, walking to your dorm room to get ready for your date.
You left as soon as you were ready. Being on campus gives you the creeps you'd rather be walking somewhere half an hour early than you needed to.
You had met this guy in the library on campus, he asked to sit with you in a study room and you got to talking. He seemed somewhat bitter when you first sat with him, but after a little he really warmed up. If anything he was just a bit overconfident in his abilities.
You sat in a coffee shop next to the restaurant until it was acceptable early. You walk inside and up to the hostess.
"Hi!" Before you could say anything else you heard his voice.
"Both early then." He laughs and steps next to you. He sorts out the seat with a reservation and you are lead to the table.
"Hi Porco. How was your day?" You ask after he pushes your chair in for you.
"Was great since I get to be here with you." He smiles at you, you can't help but smile at his stupid line. "How was your day?" He asks.
"I had this to carry me through." You take a sip of your water. Your shoulders were a little more relaxed now that you were off campus.
He ordered wine for the both of you and conversation flowed the entire night. You told him at one point how you hated living on campus.
"We don't have classes tomorrow, you can stay at my place if you want." The wine helps you not weight this option as much as you should.
"Really?"
"Yeah of course."
"Okay then."
You leave with him after he pays and you walk towards his apartment. It's a quick walk and he lets you in.
"The bedroom is down that hallway, so is the bathroom. You can take the bed and I'll sleep on the couch." He offers.
"Oh, but I don't want to take your bed."
"No no, I insist. Clean sheets and everything." He says grabbing a pillow and blanket and putting it on the couch.
You wake up to a thunk in the living room, turning to your side and grabbing your phone. Dead. You decide to take a peek outside the room to check if he was okay.
You crack the door open, sticking your head out of it as you tried to get a good read on what time it was from the light in the living room.
It was dark, a small blue hue on everything the window light touched. Was that rug always there? It looked black, a noticeable contrast to the rest of the decorations of the apartment— you'd have noticed if it was there when you walked in wouldn't you?
"Porco?" You whisper, another thunk sounds from just beyond your view of the living room.
You step out his room, quiet and slow— deliberately slow. Creeping down the hallway as you get a better look at the "rug" you could barely see. It looked like it was growing, no longer entirely black but you couldn't make out the color in this light.
You turn your head before the sound registers, very labored breathing. A shaky inhale and exhale through the throat that sounded like a zombie sound effect. Your date was halfway off the couch; holding his neck as the same color as the "rug" covered his hands.
Holy fuck its blood. You realize, taking a step back as the blood in your body ran so cold you felt frozen in place.
"Shit." You hear a voice say behind you before a towel is placed on your face. You can't even think to fight it. Your brain is screaming at you to yell, fight back, run, anything but you're stuck.
Your shoulders hurt, a stabbing pain that your body can no longer dull enough for your grogginess to ignore. You sniffle a little as you try to wake yourself up, a damp mildew like smell fills your senses as you start to look around.
Blank concrete walls, a drain in the middle of the room's floor. Seemingly one door in front of you. No locks.
Where the fuck were you?
You try to pull your arms from the position hurting your shoulders so but cannot. Something yanks at your wrist urgently. You try to turn your body to see it; your arms propped behind you on a chair. You try to change your footing on the cold concrete floor but feel the same tug.
Rope. You're tied here.
Where the fuck were you?
The overwhelming rush of wanting to just be back in your own dorm room hits you. You try to thrash around in the chair to free yourself but cannot.
A click sounds from the other side of the door. Then another, then another. You loose track of just how many you hear before the door open to Eren.
"Eren! Thank fuck, what is happening?" You ask, looking at the door's locks on the outside. Holy shit, seven? All different kinds of locks too.
"Let me explain, darling." He kneels down in front of you.
"Kay just get this rope off first." You nod towards your feet tied to the chair. His hair down for the first time in a while, his hands on his knees stained a bit pinker thank normal.
"Can't do that, darling. You'd just try to run." He says, standing up and taking a step closer to you. Brushing his hand against your cheek.
"What? Eren. Where are we?" You move your head away from his hand, upset he isn't explaining at such a dire moment like this. You were trapped and he wasn't helping at all.
"You're home now. Well… below it. I made this room in the basement for you to adjust to your new life in." He says walking to your right and sitting himself on a tiny bed in the room.
"The fuck do you mean new life?" You turn as best you can to face him— only really being able to turn your head; no doubt creating a crick in your neck for later.
"Darling, it took you too long to notice. I want to give you everything in life. I love you." Your stomach lurched. The letter that was taped to your door flashed through your mind. Eren's handwriting looks just about that bad.
"Eren. You have to listen to me, I need you to untie me for my safety. I have a stalker an-"
"I don't like being called that!" He yells, you jump and close your mouth. Oh shit. "I love you, I do everything to keep you safe."
"Putting a letter by my door doesn't keep me safe." You turn your head to the door in front of you again, nauseous at the sight of what you thought was a close friend.
"Putting the letter on your door were to make you notice all that I've done for you. You said you liked getting love letters from people."
"People I'm dating not some crazy stalker!" You yell watching as he shoots up to stand.
"Don't fucking call me that!" He stood over you now, your whole body as tense as it could be. "I'm your soulmate. Your one and only. Got that?"
"The fuck did you do to Porco?" You ask, remembering the scene you had seen before everything went blank in your memory.
"What he fucking deserved for trying to get close to what is mine." He grits his teeth, leaning down to be centimeters away from your face. "I love you." His voice is stern, not that of love but control and demand.
"Untie me."
"Not until you do what I want." He stands there, waiting. "You say it to all of our friends so why can't you say it now?" You stay silent. Maybe it could end all of this but if you try to say it the bile in your throat would rise.
It feels like eternity that he stands there, your mouth filling over and over again with saliva as you try to push it down. Finally he walks to the door.
"Fine. Just means you stay in here longer." He slams the door before you hear each and every one of the clicks locking it again.
Your brain starts moving faster than ever. How the fuck does he have a place like this, doesn't he live on campus? No he moved off before this semester because he got a really cheap place. It's a house? That or you are in the basement of an apartment complex, but then someone was bound to notice the door with every kind of lock on it right? You had to hope.
That hope slowly died as more and more time passed and your heart raced.
If you say it he will let you out, right? Just say it. You've said it to him before. But he seemed disgusted at you saying it to him before when leaving your dorm late one night after watching a movie.
You felt your chest heave with each breath, the cold lines on your face only register as tears when you feel one fall off your face and into your lap. You look down seeing clothes you do not remember ever putting on.
Your stomach retches at the realization they aren't your clothes but the man you once called one of your best friends. The fuck else did he do to you?
You eventually cry yourself to sleep you guess by the fact the next time you open your eyes you are laying on the bed in the room.
Your arm attached to the bedpost with a long chain. Surely not enough to reach the door. You could probably only reach the drain.
You realize why you woke up as you sit up. The door was creaking open to Eren standing there with food for you.
"Our friends are asking about you. It would be so much easier for you if you gave me what I wanted."
"What sick lie did you tell them?" You ask as he sets the tray of food down on the foot of the bed.
"You needed some time away. Don't worry I forged the documents for your classes too. You are in a hospital for a bad mental state until I say otherwise." He walks over, kissing you on the forehead before leaving the room.
Fuck. His dad was a doctor there's no doubt he did forge those documents. Probably with his help.
You have no clue how long you are in there for. All you know was it was long enough for your hair to get disgustingly dirty. And for you to start seriously. contemplating telling him what he wanted.
It wasn't like you didn't love him, he did so much for you your entire friendship.
Some sick part of you was flattered he cared this much for you. The sick part of you that would stay up thinking about what you would do if he came into your room while you were laying down. The sick part that wondered how he felt inside of you.
That sick part grew everyday little by little. Each time he gave you a book you wanted to read, each time he gave your head a kiss, each time he would stare at you as you did anything in the room.
He would often come down and sit on the chair to do his homework or study. Just existing in the room with you silently.
You had started to fight the urge to give in and say it, almost slipping up a few times. And he knew. There was no way he didn't know. There was a camera in the room after all.
Who knows how many times your body has betrayed you in your sleep as your body rutted itself against the mattress. The shame you always wake up with after is overwhelming.
"I love you." He stares into your eyes as he says it. He always does, to prove his love for you.
"I love you too, Eren." You whisper without thinking anymore. He stares blankly at you, his hand twitching at his side.
"I know. I watch you. Constantly." His hand touches your cheek, then trails down to hold your neck to keep you looking up at him. Your cheeks flush pink and you try to look away from him.
"I love you." He repeats, his voice still as hard as the first time he said it to you in here. His control was love, and you didn't realize that at first.
His hand trails down to the waist band of the pants he had put on you. He pulls them down agonizingly slow as he lays on his stomach between your legs. Tossing the pants off the bed before he takes a long sniff of the panties he had left you in. He tugs them off and stuffs them into his pocket before burying his face.
Licking, sucking and biting like a madman. Each time your legs tensed around his head he would groan into you.
Whining whenever you would pull his hair.
Rutting his hips into the bed as you said his name over and over again before you came.
Your whole body feeling like TV static as you repeated "I love you" over again before your brain became pure mush.
When he finally pulled back you were sore and twitching, barely able to open your eyes and completely soaked from the combination of his spit and you.
Eren shakily gets up from the bed, a sticky stain adorning the front of his pants and a part of your bed as he walks out of the room with your panties in his pocket.
Soon you start to sleep in his room without the clunky chain around your wrist. Doing a few online classes here and there, mainly staying at home for him.
His room was covered in pictures of you, things you had given him and of course his prized possession your panties hung right above his bed.
He took your phone to get into your dorm room. No doubt lying to your roommate in the process. But coming home with more of your things to put in his room.
Emptying his drawers to keep your clothes in his room, the way he started replacing the pictures of you with pictures of the pair of you two now. Usually ones he took of you fucked out of your mind.
"Darling, you said you wanted to go back to real classes?" He questioned, tilting his head as he stood in the doorway to the bedroom.
"I just… I don't want an online Uni degree, you know? In person looks so much better. Plus I miss our friends." You confess, worried of his reaction. He was an overbearing boyfriend after all.
"Well… how will people know you're mine?" He questions.
"I can wear a ring." You offered.
"That just proves you're someones. Not mine." He walks into the room, laying down on the bed between your legs again. You had quickly learned that wearing pants around the house was pointless, if anything more hassle.
He lapped away at you like he does every day. As you try to reason with him to leave the apartment sometime, each word you say spurring him on even more to make sure you couldn't talk by the end.
He pushed his tongue in and out, his nose hitting you perfectly as your words turned into a love confession like they did every time.
Tears pricked your eyes at pleasure as he pushed in, his tip sticky and sensitive already. His mouth on yours, his tongue so deep in your mouth his teeth were against yours. His arms wrapped around you; holding you so tight if he could climb in your chest he would.
Once you were a twitchy puddle of nothing, he walked away. Coming back with a knife, flipping you over.
You felt a dull pain on your lower back as you barely stayed conscious in bed with him. Finally you felt him wrap his arms around you tightly as he stoked your hair, laying you on his chest. His name carved deep into your skin and your body in his arms. Just like it was meant to be.
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Getting nuked on tiktok because i said people who can’t read are useless and helpless. Do we want to support illiteracy?? Dumb fucking hoes over there omg
I actually love your yandere eren so much 🥹🥹 AA IT'S SO GOOD this might actually be the best yandere eren I've ever seen.. can't stop thinking about it tbh...... I NEED MORE (please) If you're up to it ofc... (gulp.. would be happy if you kept it genderless, but I would be happy about any yan eren content tbh!!)
Do you want a part two or just more of Yandere Eren in general? Because I can do either one *or both*
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"C'mon Love, I said I was sorry." He says as he follows you around the extravagant bathroom and bedroom you share that was the size of a large apartment.
"I told you to stop draining the townspeople!" You open up the gaudy jewelry cabinet in the bathroom, searching through the back of it to find what you were looking for.
"I know, I'm sorry. I won't do it again." He begged as he tried to reach for your arm to stop you digging through all your bracelets.
"You said that last time. You deserve a punishment." You slip a silver bracelet on and he pulls his hands back quickly with a grimace.
"No, not this." Levi looms next to you as you slip on more and more silver jewelry. Then grabbing the final blow, walking over to the mirror. He stands in the corner like a kicked cat as you screw your silver tongue stud in.
"Be upset with yourself, not me." You look over at him with an irritated expression on your face.
"I am upset with me. Just please, take the jewelry off at least."
"Do you deserve that?" You cross your arms, the bracelets jingling as you move, a taunting noise for Levi.
"No. But you're always so nice, just... take them off please. I'll never do it again." He leans forward like he wants to step closer, stopped by the feeling of heat emanating off your silver.
"How many times have you said that now?"
"Too many times." He looks down at his feet, the blood still staining his teeth a slight pink at the ends of his long teeth.
"Exactly. Maybe this will teach you."
"Training me like a dog." He grumbles as he turns away from you.
"What was that?" He tenses.
"Nothing, dear." He flounders out, knowing you heard and knowing he was already on thin ice. "What shall I have the cook prepare for dinner?"
"Italian."
"My love." He turns and takes a step closer to you. His eyes pleading as he tries to not show how the silver is slowly heating up his skin.
"Levi." You take a step closer to him to watch him squirm as the heat continues to grow. His skin slowly turning red.
"I'll tell the chef you would like Italian." His way of saying 'anything for you' without being cloying.
__
"My dear, won't you please take that out now?" He asks, watching as you take off most of the silver jewelry- keeping your silver tongue stud in as you get ready for bed.
"You will still taste like the townsperson you drained earlier." You respond, having picked up on his speech patterns after a while of being with him.
"What can I do to make this better? I love you so. I will do most anything." He drops to his knees and gently places his hands on the flat parts of your thighs.
"I think tomorrow I will work in the garden for most of it. It's supposed to be very sunny out." You cross your arms, not backing down just because of his begging. Although it is very hot -hard not to.
"Dear, the only reason I don't go a few towns over is because I want to spend my time with you. I have forever to drain people, but I don't have forever with you. Yet." He slides a hand up to your waist, a confident smile trying not to break through as he sees you waiver.
"Levi, It's my bedtime. You're lucky I'm not making you sleep in the coffin in the basement."
"I'm lucky you're not making me sleep in the coffin." He says dejectedly, walking over to his side of the bed like a lost puppy.
Btw girl I’m 20 and in college, you are unemployed by the looks of it and pretend you’re a kid online half the time.
Ai photos are never cool and ruin the environment. “All mad and pissy” i dmed you one copy paste sentence, if you think that is mad then you’ve had an easy ass life
Quit saying kids opinions don’t matter when you pretend to be one you’re a hypocrite then.
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