Dumb Geeky Stuff

2010-2012 was a very chaotic period for me. It started off hot like fire and emotionally, I was at the highest peak I've ever been in my life. My college path was finally set, my grades were amazing, I had the money for school through being hired as a residential advisor, I felt confident in my beliefs and my long-distance relationship. I had my decade planned out; but then, the inevitable happened... I put so many resources into one individual and experienced a heartache so grand that my life outlook was never the same again. It feels like ever since it happened, I've been constantly fighting a downhill mudslide of depression and living my life is just trying not to slide down as fast. You never quite rise up anywhere near your original point, but you find ways to fall slower. Coming out of that graduated and emotionally intact is a feat I'm still shocked by to this day. Unfortunately, it took the hair off my head and never returned it.

Throughout my first major depression, I had counseling for a period of months while trying to be a resident advisor and take over 18 hours of classes. One of the things she suggested I do was write out my emotions. So, I made a Tumblr and got into writing. I wrote out my emotions for every month of 2011. I wrote it for myself. I felt through it all and spent long nights contemplating and reflecting. All just in order to get back to some form of... me. I really needed to remember what that pain felt like. I wanted to remember it for the rest of my life long after it was gone. Perhaps you could say, the source of all my excessive writing on social media dates back to this period. Over the course of the following year, I amassed a base of 3,000 followers who were attracted to my blogging style. Today, I only have one follower on my friendslist from that blog.

There wasn't anything quite like it at all. It felt like my entire being was broken into pieces. I forgot who I was, what I liked, what I did, and what I wanted to do. The healing process was begrudgingly slow-paced, but it was also largely discovering parts of myself that I had forgotten. One of those ways I thought was to take a trip through memory lane. I went through every single game I have ever played to try to get my hobby back to myself. It didn't quite work as fast as I would have liked, but it gave me something to do. It distracted me. I also put together a project for my bulletin board for one month that was dedicated to video game history. It required all-nighters with plenty of organization, research, and passion. When the curtains closed and it was finally over, my hall coordinator told me something I never would have expected her to say during the farewell ceremony publicly the entire staff. When she said it, I felt so validated and I will never forget that moment. She said I was one of the strongest people she has ever witnessed in her life, and not once throughout the whole ordeal did I see myself that way.

That experience of abrupt, steep decline was my first true humbling experience and my trust in people never quite healed. Going to my first convention at the end of 2012 and seeing loads of people like myself for the first time in my life was the only sliver of hope I had in making friends and experiencing an actual relationship within my 20s. I didn’t leave college feeling exactly hopeful, but I at least left feeling neutral.

2013-2016 was where I hit many financial and work milestones while continuing to slowly grow into my eventual present self. After graduating from college, leaving what were essentially the first friendships I formed as an adult was tough. The friends I made in college were very different from the ones I made online and in grade school. A few of those friends understood me a bit more, were willing to hang out with me, and notice me in crowds. They sadly began to distance themselves due to the lack of proximity, and Kinston was nothing but a place of bad memories. I took a measly few hundred dollars and moved to Atlanta to try to start over. 

I started driving and tried to upkeep a 20-year-old car for years. I had so many moments of being stranded in the dark or driving every 5 minutes and stopping due to an old engine. I drove with anxiety almost constantly and had to quickly figure out car maintenance.  I swallowed my pride and worked Chick-Fil-A with a bachelor's. I was humbled dishwasher searching through the trash of customers and employees alike every day smelling like ass on the way home with soggy fingertips and a greasy face. It was the only job in the store absolutely no one was willing to do or help you with. It was the only job where you can go a whole shift of customers and employees not knowing you were even working. It was invisible, yet it was the most necessary. It was the most humbling experience anyone could probably experience after going to college and seeing themselves as hot-shit. I developed my working habits and established a work personality; A personality so impressive that a manager pushed me through the Marriott as a bellman to then continue working on that same personality. Moving outside my geographic area for the first time and then working for a living in a different culture opened my eyes up to much of the world's operations. I sweat, budgeted, and suffered. I suffered long enough to then get a tiny bit of luck and nepotism to get the job necessary to live on my own.. which was the City of Atlanta public sector. The kind of work personality I eventually developed was a guy who was consistent, dependable (despite a shitty car), dutiful, and always in the shadows gluing things together.

I’ve done some wild things. I’ve worked 32 hours within two days. I’ve pulled back-to-back 16-hour shifts. I’ve slept in my car overnight just to clock-in four hours later. Managers were perfectly fine knowing they had an employee doing this. This was a very rude awakening to how the working world was going to be like for me, but I did with no complaints or issues. I accrued my money for the future, and I honestly wouldn’t have had it any other way. These experiences of always filling in and constant overtime made it easier for me to eventually become financially stable very early on.

This period also has a lot of my first dating experiences as an adult. Dating back to 2012, I struggled mightily to have any marginal success in dating. So many experiences leaving impactful lessons and embarrassments too plentiful to count. Being unable to understand nonverbal signs was difficult, so I always had interactions leaving me confused and hurt about women. I also went to as many gatherings as I could of similar-minded people, but I never made a single close friend from them which is disheartening. Over time, I became more depressed and cynical about dating. I eventually just kept doing one-night stands hoping it would give me some semblance of the intimacy I lacked and craved.

I was still new to conventions and naive about what could actually come out of them as far as meeting new people. Conventions used to wow me so much. Now, missing one wouldn't bother me one bit. I had yet another tough heartache in this period strong enough to lead me out of retiring Smash. These were by far my best Smash years. In my final year regularly attending tournaments, I could definitely feel my understanding of the game and skill level climbing to new levels. I was ready to try to make a serious impact, but the person I loved was also into Smash, and once I got hurt, I simply couldn't pick it up anymore. After a while, I just stopped. Trying to come back never quite felt the same, so I decided to leave it behind it and focus on developing social relationships outside of gaming culture.

2016-Present was all about what was eventually going to become of finally owning my own place and all aspects of my life. I now had my own space, bought my first car, and took my own vacations. Early on this was also the start of my true political awakening of finally connecting it all to my individual blackness as I became more aware of how many racists I was casually surrounded by. My perspective and activist style finally joined with my weird obsession with empirical political data. That is to say when you combine that with Bernie Sanders and a certain style of liberalism... It is not good. I've lost many friendships and have many rifts with the closest of people over my differences in these things. These losses and disagreements hurt, regardless of how much I act like they don't. I wish something as seemingly trivial as political paths and faith in systems didn't essentially end bonds with people I had, and sometimes I hope I can still be close with those who don't match my activist style. Unfortunately, that seems to be harder and harder the older I get as politics become the forefront of our lives and our values.

This period is also what feels like my fastest rate of change and growth mixed with chaos similar to 2010-2012. Yuna, my first consciously adopted pet, was a very important milestone. I finally get my taste of a relationship which developed in the most unorthodox of ways, and what came after was a plethora of experiences and questions I couldn't have predicted about life. My class consciousness hit a whole new level since college because it was only then I truly connected with someone from a different class. My understanding of love and sexuality flipped on its head and it certainly did not come without its own form of heartache. Just like college, my friend networks and groups expanded rapidly. New experiences and trips were finally happening. 

I made significant discoveries about myself that change my identity and my perceived place in life. My class, family history, autism, sexuality, and gender all play a part in significantly altering my way of thinking especially about myself.

Work culture was never a positive thing even when I started at Chick-Fil-A, but the corruption, politics, nepotism, and other truths I've learned throughout this period about how the workplace works have turned me into a cynic about the idea of careers and capitalism in general. The Marriott and the City both play major parts in this. The Marriott, who I am still with, started off as what seemed to be a company promising to prioritize employees and a family work environment. It seemed that way at the airport property early on, and the place did have an established hierarchy of seniority. Attempting to get along with Boomers wasn't that difficult, but once I changed to a property that had a higher turnover, more nepotism, and worse management, work-life deteriorated for me significantly. My job security was threatened. I've had a toxic co-worker who was never held accountable. I was given long hours with little recognition and my body has taken its physical toll throughout the years. There are years where I literally worked 90% of the 365 days in the year, and there were months where I may have had just one day off in a single period when combining both jobs. My attempts to change my role or learn other departments were constantly waved off for months. I never thought an environment where everybody puts on fake smiles and friendships in the midst of misery and exploitation would exist, but it does. Thankfully, as we close this decade out, I finally took control of my situation with the Marriott and got my life back by choosing when to work for them as opposed to the other way around. I will say one thing that hits me every now and again are two dead co-workers who worked themselves to their death after being with Chick-Fil-A and Marriott for over a decade. Neither company went out of their way to award them or acknowledge the time and loyalty put in them. They just died. One guy literally couldn’t make it to work one morning because he was dead. I think about conditions and situations like this a lot and how companies at the end of the day look at us like commodities regardless of how well of a job you can do.

Speaking of boomers from before, working around a majority boomer environment (and some Xers) for the latter half of the decade was not fun at all. They are a very strange generation to try to relate with. They tended to be very stubborn, holier than thou, toxic, and you simply couldn't tell them anything. There are a few Silent Generation folks who actually were willing to learn things from me even politically, but Boomers? Good luck. Those people preach until it's time to clock out... and they always act like it's Doomsday for some reason.

The City, on the other hand, was worse. It had to be the most surprising firing ever. The cowardice and shadiness I've seen in that manager were so unexpected and crude that I refuse to put my full trust in a manager ever again. The reasoning behind it and the process they chose to exercise was so ridiculously corrupt and sloppy that it still hurts to even look back at how it mostly succeeded based on my own naivety. They took advantage of that fact and even admitted that the reason was bullshit. The manager couldn't even look me in the eye during and after the fact. The very last time I saw and spoke to her was her essentially letting me know that I was a great employee, so she wasn't even in the dismissal meeting. She couldn’t face the consequence she helped carry out. I fought tooth-and-nail on ways I could get some form of justice, but alas. At a certain point, I had to move on and create a plan in which I did. Then, that plan had to be slightly altered to something else. I have successfully bounced back financially without missing a beat before year’s end.

The planets somehow aligned and the love gods finally decided that it was time for me to actually be involved in a relationship that actually has the person within a 30-mile radius. I am probably one of the latest bloomers you will ever meet in the topics of love and sex, but I have to say, I’ve done quite all right. I never would have predicted that I’d be polyamorous in a million years, and what an experience it’s been. The amount of self-discovery in one’s insecurities, love style, and unpacked trauma is enough to scare the average person off. Not to mention that the people you are essentially forced to be surrounded by in what is a small local community even if you don’t exactly like them. The art of compromise and communication is so crucial, but still very valuable lessons to take with you in any other area of life. I did once ask myself if I had what it took to be a great partner or understand how to actually date someone, but it turns out there actually isn’t much to learn… and that I already mostly knew. I didn’t have any more to learn about it than folks I’ve seen do it much longer before I started.

Envy, one of my worst emotions and weaknesses, is something I’ve had to confront every day at a time. It is a fight that still continues to this day with no clear winner, but there is plenty of progress. Despite being such a bloomer who is also autistic and insecure all his life, I’ve managed for myself. My ability to see my tendencies both good and bad, compromise, communicate, and break practically every subconscious social teaching that no longer serves me is merely a testament to what my coordinator meant earlier in the decade by my strength.

Eastern Conference

It was unfortunately due to the atrocious marketing campaign. The early 90's was a very punk and angst time. Serious and complex were the things to go for RPG games, and Earthbound’s farts, poops, and childish demeanor missed the mark completely. However, I must formally say… I am very thankful Shigesato Itoi pushed through to see his vision in 16-bit along with the now resting Sotaru Iwata. This game is beautifully made in some of the most unexpected ways.

I think it makes sense to use Undertale as a good starting reference since everyone is almost familiar with its style. Earthbound is essentially Undertale but done in a more full-scale, yet old-school RPG system. This game wasn’t trying to turn things upside-down with its gameplay; it is hilariously sticking to NES-style RPG battle screens. You still have levels, weapons, searching for NPC’s and what have you; the only new interesting things this game may have introduced for its time were auto fight, automatically defeating weaker enemies, and the rolling HP meter (which are all godsends, by the way). The rolling HP meter gives the player a chance to Hail Mary themselves out of a close one, and it effectively adds an extra element of action and high-stakes not normally found in RPG games especially at the time this was made.

Even with the interesting small features in its battle system, the game has quite a difficult beginning that will also scare many new players away. Oh, with Ness being alone, the inventory system leaving a lot to be desired, and being forced to face groups of enemies and gauntlets, you’re most likely either running back and forth to heal or grinding for a significant amount of time. These early struggles don’t really level off until you get your first partner, and this is when the game truly expands on the plot a bit more and it lifts up its superficial childish veil.

Where the game gets bold is with the setting, characters, and enemies. Putting the western world’s suburban life in an RPG setting is surprisingly delightful. I’ll admit, when I was young, it felt far too comical to take seriously but now the appeal of the world is that it doesn’t take itself seriously. If there’s one thing I like in any form of media, writing, or art, it’s a world that doesn’t take itself seriously.

The game is very self-aware. Yes, a self-aware video game is hardly groundbreaking anymore, but the thing about Earthbound’s style of doing this was that it never dragged the point home. It was cleverly subtle.

There are so many moments in the game where you’re asking yourself, “Did they REALLY add that in the game?” I had to ask myself this several times in 2018… after playing Undertale. What it does better than Undertale in dialogue I feel is that these situations never truly feel forced, and the humor is much more unique to the game’s world. It does make several references to darker themes in modern day life via police brutality, religious cults, and crime bosses. Looking at what is essentially a parody of the world through a child’s eyes is probably why this game may have been more popular with mature fans than younger ones.

Here you are, a young boy, supposedly destined to save the world through various visions and messengers with a psychic ability. You’re whole heart is in it and it’s something bigger than what any of these grown-ups could possibly understand; yet they can’t be bothered to care, assist, or even understand you. They’re cowards, selfish, and corrupt. It’s almost as if it’s a motif of the ever-changing state of affairs in America. The only games I can think of that makes any kind of theme like this is The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time and Majora's Mask; and those came out years after this game. So, the game’s plot is not only well-ahead of its years but also gives a little bit more than just the “Save the world” plot. The themes are simply things you can’t fully understand as a kid, so it wonderfully presents this double-layer of despair and joy that gets better as you age.

Visually, the game is a pleasure to view. The towns and townsfolk are all distinctive enough. Enemies, while silly, clearly weren’t just conceptually thrown together. The game manages to match the overall tone of the differing environments you come across. The music is surprisingly very diverse and mirrors the game’s overall theme of despair and joy. There are moments where it’s purely atmospheric in-between towns, and then it tosses in RPG-formula-based themes on its towns and characters. They’re simple themes, too. Other RPG’s in this era are praised for their outstanding musical compositions, but Itoi must have known that multi-layered compositions weren’t going to fly with this game. The setting is just too close to home for us, so the music does a very good job expressing the game’s setting.

Also, it’s actually pretty innovative to have multiple random battle themes for an RPG. It actually made grinding much more enjoyable. You don’t really know how much improved your experience is with the supposed forgettable parts of the game until you’re actually getting pleasant variances in what should conventionally be considered a mindless task.

Okay, so let me finally summarize what the heck is so appealing about the game. Clearly, it’s mostly average and predictable across the board, right? Like, I take one look at my overall experience and admit that objectively, this game offered nothing really new or special to me at all. Yet, my enjoyable of this game is undeniable. My attachment to the ending was there. What does that mean?

I think it means that this game is loved for the same reasons people love Final Fantasy IX, Paper Mario, and Phoenix Wright. This game is simply all about charm.

From the design, to the music, to the characters, and to the dialogue…everything that happily melts together into this beautiful dish. Honestly, I understand the charm of the game is not going to reach everybody. It will only reach certain people. I promise you, though, if you put in enough time to explore past the first few bosses, talk to everyone you see, and allow yourself to be openly absorb all of the game’s minor quirks and laughs, your overall experience is going to be positive.

I think by far one of my most favorite ideas of the game and its self-awareness is that it actively asks what your name is as the player. As in, it specifically meant you as opposed to the main character, and they do this twice. I cannot tell you why they do this because it would be spoiling. I will say that it was one of the most adorable and touching additions that I very much miss, and can only truly be found in most Nintendo games.

A lot of what you do goes unnoticed by both guests and co-workers. Like, your actual role is either subconsciously unknown or unspecified. Often times, guests don't know what you exactly do besides saying hi to them. Co-workers from different departments often see you more as someone they can easily move around; it's not uncommon for the same person to tell you to simultaneously assist two guests at once at the opposite ends of the hotel. Even over the phone or radio, you'll hear "The guests need a cart" from a co-worker you've worked with for years. Not luggage assistance. Not a bellman. They need a cart. As if they aren't well aware that your job is actually to use the cart. They probably already told the guest that they can "have a cart" but as soon as you walk up to the guest's room, they're disappointed that you're there to help them. Yes, this is your co-worker orchestrating a situation where you have to explain that you're not just a random board on four wheels. Most folks outside of the department will be more than happy to hand carts to guests while you are standing there. Many will steal the carts right in front of you for a quick buck themselves you could instead be making and that's not even invisibility, that's just plain highway robbery. Bring this to the attention of a manager? "What rule did he break?" Right, because they don't even remember you depend on tips. Invisibility.

Front desk agents love to depend on bellmen for silly favors like "Can you go to the snack machine?" or "Can you bring a case of water?" I actually had to have a manager brought in to explain to a security manager that a bellman's role isn't tied to daily delivering water cases, yet it was known as that and you'd have folks from all kinds of departments upset because you don't have water for everybody. People just subconsciously placed the water boy role on you because isn't that in your job description? On a side note, I don't want to bring a hint of misogyny into the picture but there is a noticeable difference in willingness to ask bellmen to do extra tasks by women in comparison to men for some strange reason.

Also, when another person from a different department puts hours into the bellstand, do you want to guess what their wage is? Their regular wage. Now, personally, I don't really care or have that much of a problem with it, but the neglect is definitely insulting in the sense that payroll folks don't even take the extra time not to assign somebody being paid $11-13 hour to work along somebody making $5 an hour. You depend on tips while they get what is essentially a bonus in extra hours. Is it no wonder you now have more volunteers than full-time bellmen?

Guests love carts. They can't get enough of them, more proof of your invisibility is the fact that they know to come to you for carts, but don't realize that is actually what your job is. Guests can stay a whole weekend seeing you assist guests and still think your job is some kind of cart-deliverer, guest greeter 8 hours a day, five days a week. It's often very insulting to have to explain your job every 30 seconds just so you can get paid. Your position on your check could literally be called 'mobile guest cock sucker' and nobody would bat an eyelid.

Like, imagine if you're cook or a cashier in a restaurant, and every time someone wanted food they'd just ask to borrow your register or ask if they could use your spatula and grill to make themselves some grub. Then you have to explain to them something as rudimentary as "What the heck do they pay me for if I'm just letting you behind the counter to help yourself?" Often times you might think, "Oh, they just don't have the money to tip," but no, these people actually do not know your purpose in the hotel. Guests will literally see you working with the cart and ask, "Hey, can I have that?" like you aren't even using it for your own job at that moment. It's frustrating if only because much of your time can be spent building rapport and engaging guests who otherwise know your existence, but the majority of the time you're mostly telling guests why they can't just have a cart versus actually helping them.

Oh, you haven't heard anything yet. When you're actually helping them... you're still invisible. Once you arrive, they never seem to get your name right even though it's right on your chest. Some say, "The guy's here mom!" as they scream to their mother in the shower. Some say "Luggage dude" while others say, I shit you not, "The cart is here." Many will have you pull the cart to their room or car, aggressively pack everything themselves and sometimes then proceed to use the cart themselves. Some will have you do the work but not interact with you the entire time and instead be on their phone. Many guests will choose to socialize and not be mindful at all that they're taking up an employee's time with them.

Some have the expectation that you're there for them and only them. Not a hi, not a thank you, and they'll just shut the door or push car exhaust right in your face as soon as you're done.

Some think you're a babysitter or luggage sitter as in... you'll take the kids, watch the kids, stand watch over the bags while they eat breakfast or go drink. You're Belvedere, and you clearly have nothing else to do but serve this particular guest's children or interests. Nobody else in a hotel with 500 guests or 1,000 co-workers could ever possibly ask you to do something for them in an eight hour period. Not one. You serve me.

You can walk up to your managers and they'll greet you with a smile, but these are almost for certain:

1) They don't know who you are 2) They don't know how much you need to make 3) They don't know how many hours you lack or that you work overtime almost weekly.

And that's because they don't care about these things or have a need to care. They'll send these folks out to do "lobby duty" an hour a day but forget that is essentially a bellman's role. Then, when actually doing the lobby duty, attempt to take your role period. Like I said, invisibility.

Ideally, I should probably write this after I’ve explained the background behind it but I really want to get it out of the way in general. I don’t think I’ll focus too much on my girlfriend just yet (yes, I have a girlfriend.. more on that soon). For now, this is me talking about my experience being in an open relationship thus far.

Never in a million years would I have predicted to try this, and some of my old time followers likely feel the same way if they know my history with infidelity. Yes, most people are likely to be cheated on, but the way it affected me and happened to me was a key to my development romantically and emotionally. I have trust issues, I have deep-seated insecurities, and my attachment to monogamy as a concept only grew stronger over the years. Honestly, it would probably be correct to say that I’m still naturally a monogamous person as of right now.

And yet, I’ve entered into a non-monogamous relationship.

The Hidden Flaws of Monogamy

It’s truly opened my eyes to a lot of things about others and me. There are a lot of toxic ideas and habits I was only able to see until I saw monogamy from the outside. For example, the idea of love equals possession. In a typical monogamous relationship, you are supposed to find one person and they are everything you need. If that person isn’t fulfilling every single need, then it is ultimately their job to fulfill whatever need that they can or you must accept that the need will simply not be met. The issue comes in when they can’t (and ultimately, who can realistically fulfill every single need to even one human being?).

Ideas like this sort of lead to the idea that a person is responsible for each and every one of your needs. They are also ultimately in control of how the needs are met between one another. No, you can’t get that emotional need from them. No, you can’t get that sexual need from them. Only me. It is seen as an insult to me if they get any need I can’t meet outside of myself.

One has to ultimately wonder if this is a real long-term method of happiness that can be sustained. I certainly question it… even when looking at my one and only true monogamous relationship, much things were kept hidden and under the carpet to maintain a farce; at least at too many points to where me and my partner were not always at our peak mode of happiness and honesty at the same time.

We weren’t honest about who else we liked, we weren’t honest about how we felt; everything we did was based on the appeasement of one another. That, no matter what type of relationship it can be, is never a good formula for happiness between two people who enjoy each other’s time and company.

What’s it to me?

From what I’ve seen thus far, polyamory has given me a chance to explore why I feel certain things at certain points. Why do I feel a certain way when she finds other people attractive? Why do I feel a certain way when she decided to sleep with someone else? If she tells me that she still loves me and values me, why is it not good enough? I wouldn’t be forced to confront these feelings in monogamy because it’s understood that I am in possession of every single need; but when I am not, I have to process these events as they happen.

And have they happened indeed.

She has been with other people, and I have been with other people as well (although not independent from each other… another piece for another day, I suppose). I think what amazes me the most is that I did not feel hurt knowing and hearing it. I felt envious, I felt confused, and even a bit bothered; but I was not hurt.

Perhaps the pain that comes from infidelity is more of the deception; not the actual act of sex. That is yet another element of polyamory that has helped me see monogamy in a different lens.

There are some cons to all of this, however. For one, it’s hard to explain this to random schmoes on the street without them immediately assuming that your partner is just some manipulative nympho (again, another piece for another day…). Also, polyamory for men doesn’t seem to work as well as it does for women. While I do acknowledge the existence of male privilege in more important matters like safety, healthy, and rape culture... in the dating scene, our opportunities for seeing and dating are rather sparse. Unless you’re a perfect ten, your independent dating life outside of your partner might as well not exist anymore; and that’s saying a lot considering that’s how it felt like single. What seems to have happened is that our independent dating lives are running parallel to each other: She gets an offer maybe ten times a day, and I get someone to talk to maybe once a week if I’m lucky enough. The disparity in experiences and partners is certainly not ideal, and this is by far the biggest rift I have with my experience thus far.

Essentially, if only one person is truly benefiting from the arrangement the way it is intended, then what is the point of the arrangement if only to appease the beneficiary? Albeit, it’s only been agreed upon for three months, and the situation would totally be much easier to handle if say, there were other polyamory couples who weren’t white people fetishizing brown skin. That’s sadly a lot easier said than done.

So, right now, we’re kinda just stuck in this rut of not being able to find couples to help make the experience a little bit more spread out. The style is not universally accepted or acknowledged as legitimate, and we know single men are willing to fuck anything that moves. The demand for straight cis men in progressive sexual circles is simply not high enough.

Yuna.. is my calico kitten who fell into my hands last year in October 2016.

It happened really spontaneously. My co-worker was just having a conversation about giving a kitten they found away who was being tossed around near a dumpster by a group of folks. Her boyfriend took possession of it and she’d given her to me for free. I was hesitant to take her at first as I knew zero about cats or pets period. I actually prefer dogs; but then, I did my research. I could hide a cat inside forever. I could potentially get away with not paying the pet deposit fee.

They are independent and quiet animals. A lot of the people I asked described cats more as roommates. Then here I am, hating my loneliness and quiet life with nothing to touch or see when I come home. Here is Yuna to immediately fix the problem! The naming process was very... rigorous. I made a list. Zelda, Nayru, Cammy, Chun-Li...The Joy. Then... Yuna. I was already playing Final Fantasy X at the time, and her two-colored face somewhat reminded me of Yuna’s two different set of eye colors. Yuna was simple, sweet, and had a pretty cool meaning depending on the language you read it in. That was then her name.

The beginning had growing pains. I had to learn about the limits of the litter, food, and water. I had to find a sitter for both Christmas (which I didn’t end up going back home for anyway) and MAGfest. Yuna seemed to be an awesome conversation when it came to meeting and talking to girls but at the same time, it’s kinda sad that I was only an interesting guy because I had a cat.

She was a bit too curious about the apartment and I had to shoo her away from various things like food, toilet water, video game accessories and what not. Nowadays she’s calmed down and usually sits and sleeps. She’ll definitely follow me wherever I go if she isn’t already tired.

I had to take her to vet and get her fixed a couple of times but other wise, she’s pretty manageable to take care of as far as finances go.

She’s certainly a nice presence to have around the house but jeeze are cats weird. Always running from something.. always chewing something, following me into the bathroom, and attacking the feet or whoever is in her sight.

But in the end, I don’t think I’d trade her for the world. Right now, she’s not in because I’m trying to have maintenance fix something in my apartment. She’s staking out at a friend’s down the street until they leave so I won’t have to pay that silly pet deposit.

But she has made me a more responsible person. I mean, she’s nothing compared to a human child but she’s given me a glimpse of what it’s like to be somewhat of a caretaker. Making sure she has what she needs before I leave, taking her to various sitters and doctors, and trying to learn her likes and dislikes as we both move along as friends.

Welcome to the family, Yuna. The family that pretty much only consisted of me until you came along.

*Cries face down in a mirror* Oh, right… the NBA Playoffs… We’re finally here! What a regular season we’ve had. There have been plenty of interesting storylines around the league. Pace and space is in. More teams and players are constantly making and breaking three-pointers at record paces. Teams overall have become significantly more efficient in their offense. Today’s defense is less predicated in two traditional big men protecting the rim and more about having small guys who can switch on perimeter players and shoot the three on the other end. Durant ended up fitting in beautifully, LeBron is on the team that has struggled defensively at a level no former championship team ever has crossed, San Antonio is fine without Duncan, and no head coach was fired for the first time in history. All right, that’s enough small talk. Let’s analyze why your picks are wrong. Disclaimer: If it seems like my analysis is less stellar than past year’s, it’s because I’ve been a depressed wreck the past two weeks. I apologize. (3) Houston Rockets versus (6) Oklahoma City Thunder "Trail of Tears" now refers to the movement of crying OKC fans to GSW.” – MTGopher Rockets executives around a conference room table "Studies show we need to improve our D. Suggestions?" "D'Antoni?" – JackJuice “Y’all niggas trippin’” – Russell Westbrook This is the most anticipated first round match-up of the playoffs. This year’s MVP race is the closest we’ve had in a long time, and the style of Harden and Westbrook are the perfect allegories as to where the league is currently headed in team philosophies. On one end you have Harden who represents the perfect pace and space offense Mike D’Antoni has been dreaming of since the days of Steve Nash. He possesses a guard who is capable of scoring in what is now considered the most efficient way possible: Morey Ball which is also known as, threes and points in the paint. Almost every possession starts in Harden’s hands like many fans have dreamed of and he plays like a full-time point guard. There are always four shooters and one center, and everything starts with pushing the tempo, scoring off of spot-up 3’s, a free throw, or a drive in the lane. If a mid-range shot is to be taken (Houston takes among the least in the entire league), it’s also likely through Harden who’s not half bad in isolations. On the other end, Westbrook represents the brass and bold of today’s guard-centric league. Westbrook has less space to operate with than Harden, so he compensates with his amazing athleticism and strength. He crashes the glass, is often the main finisher in a fastbreak, and is pretty much a one-man show for the most part. He is a small-forward in a point-guard’s body, and he does his best to create scoring opportunities for his lackluster spot-up shooters and rugged frontline. So, who will come out on top? … Are you asking about the MVP race or the series? Heh, not that it matters, MVP voting begins on Friday you losers. Although both teams are on the upper-end of pacing, it would be wise for Oklahoma City to attempt to limit the possessions per game more. Houston is more efficient, has better shooters, and overall better offensive chemistry. The type of game Houston wants is a medium to slow tempo depending on the line-up out there. I imagine going small is a definite no because I can’t conceive a line-up from this team where they outsmart D’Antoni at his own game while having less talent to play small. What’s probably going to happen is that they’re going to look at how they beat San Antonio last year and make small modifications. They’re going to run the risk of crashing the glass and bullying Houston’s sole big man and hope it cashes out. Houston also gives up the most points in the paint throughout the league. On one hand, Oklahoma City are superior rebounders, superior at transition defense (likely because they crash the glass anyway), and have some athletic wingmen that might pose interesting results. We’ve already seen Harden struggle offensively in this series overall. If Oklahoma City can prevent Houston from getting out and running by controlling the glass, they stand a chance. If their role players make open shots, they stand a better chance. If their wingmen actually manage to limit Houston’s talented offensive players, they win. But these are all very big ifs. While Oklahoma City is a great defensive team, they rank 30th in Roll Man defense. Nene and Capela are some of the best rolling big men in today’s league and Houston is a top spot-up shooting team. Combine all of this with Harden’s isolation efficiency (Oklahoma City is actually average in isolation defense) and their superior ability to move the ball, it’s very hard to picture a seven game series where this team is limited offensively four out of seven times. Match-up wise, there’s a few interesting things to note. Beverly vs Westbrook is one we understood for a long time. We know what to expect from these two guys at this point, but I’m interested in seeing if Roberson, a top caliber defender, can make himself as useful as he did last year. Limit hard and make open shots are all he has to do. Oladipo certainly has to contribute in some form here as well. Let’s look at the Mario Brothers. I hear Adams is in a bit of a funk, but I won’t take that into account. He’s a very good rebounder along with Kanter. Kanter is also Oklahoma City’s third leading scorer behind Oladipo. Therein lays another problem here: Kanter is still one of the worst defensive big men, but Oklahoma City absolutely needs him in order to keep up with Houston in scoring… that is unless their defense is good enough to where this is a non-factor. Oklahoma City is simply the team with less room for error, and I expect Houston to win fairly easily, actually. It won’t be a super short series, but it won’t be a long one either. This Houston team is a top ten offense of all-time in the history of the league. Oklahoma City will fail to keep up. Houston wins if: They keep the pacing up, their shooters shoot, their big men score, and they make Westbrook work. Oklahoma City wins if: They bruise ‘em on the boards, Westbrook puts on performances that would make Michael Jordan wide-eyed, and Roberson/Oladipo become legit two-way performers. Houston in five. (4) Los Angeles Clippers versus (5) Utah Jazz ”I would roast the Jazz, but my daughter needs doctors that know what the fuck they're doing, so I'll see you guys in one of the LA roasts.” – GorillaX Kings go on a 22-3 run to come back and beat the Clippers “If you dont love that you dont love clippers basketball!” – mrlesa95 “I've lived in Southern California my entire life and the first Clippers fan I ever encountered was an Australian on reddit.” – projectionist88 Man, here we are. Another 4/5 seed match-up in the West. The four seed is the perceived favorite statistically, historically, and talent wise; nobody talks about it much, but the team in the 5 spot ends up winning. This has happened in the West the last 5 or 6 times… this exact scenario. We call it the 4 seed curse. I don’t buy into superstitions though, but I just thought it’d be interesting to mention. I’ve seen this match-up play out a couple of times in the regular season, and Utah had a very, very tough time containing Los Angeles; especially their perimeter guys. I do recall a Utah fan once saying in a Reddit post that Jamal Crawford is a certified Jazzkiller. Much of it probably has to do with their individual defensive capabilities. Gobert is not leaving that painted area (but we’ll talk about that in a little bit), and it’s entirely up to the guards to be able to contest and make it tough for guys way out there on an island. George Hill also has no hope in hell slowing down Chris Paul. I will give it to Utah in that they have a reputable defense thanks to Gobert. Jordan and Griffin have somewhat been limited in all four meetings. Rivers still could devise a small line-up that forces Gobert outside of the paint. That’s where the real problems might occur for this Utah team daring to play a traditional, slow pace. This series will be heavily predicated on how well Utah can defend the ball handlers, suddenly shoot well in spot-ups (they don’t), and how they can manage to use Gobert inside the paint or not. That’s going to be difficult to do if… your team has played injured all year and you haven’t really developed any real chemistry in formulating flexible line-ups and practicing certain situations. So, Utah lacks intangibles, has less playoff experience, is defensively weak where Los Angeles is offensively strong, lack homecourt advantage, and likely less flexibility with Gobert. I love Utah. I rooted for them since the beginning of the season, but it’s hard to formulate a solid argument for them being the favorites here. Honestly, the four seed curse is the best argument I can come up with. Los Angeles wins if: Crawford and friends truly are Jazzkillers, they simply can’t be offensively contained, the pace didn’t slow down and Chris Paul proves why he’s still one of the best all-around point guards around. Utah wins if: four seed curse, Utah goes hot from 3 while Los Angeles goes cold, Gobert makes a strong impact in slowing the pace down. Los Angeles in six. (4) Washington Wizards versus (5) Atlanta Hawks “Fastest collapse since I-85.” – NiceKidWithGlasses "John Wall grew up without a father figure and it showed today on the court." -Colin Cowherd This is a very difficult series to analyze. As bad as Atlanta has been, they do have defensive advantages (spot-up, transition, points in the paint) that could play a key role in deciding their chances here. Washington struggled offensively in the season series despite still winning 3-1. Both teams have had the Jekyll and Hyde effect. On some nights, they’re world beaters. On other nights, they’re the sorriest squads in town. This has the potential to be one of those series where the score is lopsided but always the opposite team every game. Ian Mahinmi is stated to be missing the first few games, so Atlanta might enjoy a nice rebounding advantage to bolster their defense. Morris/Millsap is an interesting frontline match-up to think about. Millsap struggled more often than he succeeded. Usually, I trust Millsap in the playoffs, but he’s been through a few injuries late in the season. Morris and Gortat aren’t exactly good post-up and isolation defenders looking at the numbers (they give up an average of about (1.5-2 points a possession). If Atlanta is successful running their offense through Millsap and Hardaway gets streaky, this is going to be a long series at the least. Here’s the thing about Howard… he’s been their most consistent player in the season series and a key factor in their defensive advantages, so Mahinmi being sidelined and Gortat being the only big man in his way should be pretty good for Atlanta. Jason Smith has recently become a three-point threat, though, and Howard’s history with jump shooting centers is not a pretty one. Atlanta may have the frontcourt advantages defensively (Sefolosha, Millsap, and Howard), but Washington contains plentiful backcourt talent. It also doesn’t help that Atlanta’s P&R Ball Handler play defense is ranked bottom ten. Wall and Beal are one of the highest scoring backcourts in the league, and with Jennings off the bench, even a streaky Hardaway Jr. would find it tough to carry backcourt shooting and scoring without Schroeder/Bazemore. So, basically, this series could go in either direction depending on who you place more faith in. It might simply come down to coaching and last five-minute scoring. I suppose we can say the intangibles go in Washington’s direction: homecourt, best player from both teams, Howard’s free throws, great crunch time numbers, and a higher point differential. Atlanta, though, is a team that is actually built for playoff basketball in their defense and rebounding. It will pretty much come down to how effective defensively Howard and the rest of the front line are versus how efficient Washington’s backcourt is with Mahinmi being gone. Maybe Jason Smith can work some chemistry with the backcourt and draw Howard out the paint. Maybe Howard’s free throws become a problem. Maybe Atlanta’s backcourt is just that bad. Maybe there’s a Godsap sighting. I will say though… that it doesn’t help that Atlanta’s major weakness (offensive efficiency) plays into Washington’s greatest strength (transition scoring). It’s all up in the air, folks. Like any other east 4/5 match-up. Flip a coin or something. Washington wins if: their backcourt is too much, Jason Smith is on fire from outside, their bench wasn’t terribad, pace is fast and they get out and run out of Atlanta’s inefficient offense Atlanta wins if: defense defense defense, Howard is still a good piece in the playoffs, their backcourt is actually better than they’ve ever been, GodSap, Washington couldn’t break out of the slow pace. Washington in six (3) Toronto Raptors versus (6) Milwaukee Bucks Kyle Lowry, asked about his ankle: "I'm Wolverine, man. You know Wolverine? I'm Wolverine, except for when I die, I'mma just die" “Dude legit looks like Inspector Gadget” – qule on Giannis Here we are again, top-seeded Toronto versus a team they are favored against. Here we go again with Jason Kidd coaching a team against Toronto. Here we are again, a large forward/guard type of player likely to individually dominate Toronto. Nah, I can’t do Toronto like that. It’s been years for them being together. You have to admit, though, Toronto is a strange team to pin down in the playoffs. Considering that they’ve only won series that extend to game 7 and haven’t won a game 1 in this era, it’s probably safe to say this isn’t likely to be a short series. But we still have to give credit to DeRozan’s growth offensively this season. They still acquired two great pieces in P.J. Tucker and Ibaka. They’re healthy, experienced, and once again have home court advantage. What could possibly go wrong? A lot could, I guess. Milwaukee has a lot of ways to trap and mess up passing lanes with lengthy perimeter guys (courtesy of Jason Kidd’s style). They have very good individual defenders in Snell, Delly, Middleton, and Brogdon. I understand Toronto has won the majority of the regular season match-ups even dating back to Greek Freak’s rookie year, but they do have a terrible tendency to never be able to completely outplay the opposing team’s backcourt they supposedly are more talented than. See: Washington, Indiana, and Brooklyn. Kidd typically has Greek Freak at the four, so he’s likely to see more minutes being guarded by Ibaka perhaps? Or will Casey go small just as much with Carroll at four? I’m not entirely sure how all of this plays out, but looking at the three-point percentage/points outside the paint from Giannis and the superior rebounding of Toronto, I don’t see a reason to jump to Milwaukee’s side yet. Offensively, Milwaukee lacks the firepower to likely keep up with Toronto if they maintain even a portion of their regular offensive efficiency. They’re so dependent on transition, successful spot-up shooting from sketchy spot-up shooters, and Giannis to just do his thing. Toronto to me feels more like a complete team. Toronto is top ten in paint defense, can switch all over the place thanks to finally acquiring versatile forwards, and DeRozan has reached a level where he’s an efficient scorer without shooting threes. At least on paper, Toronto finally looks like a team I can confidently pick to advance. This series will definitely go to seven though regardless. That’s just how Toronto works. I’ll take them, but I won’t like it. Toronto wins if: Lowry/DeRozan are unbothered by traps, their role players make shots, Ibaka/Patterson are the superior defensive, quick frontline we thought they were. Milwaukee wins if: Giannis is hot from deep, Lowry/DeRozan just aren’t making long shots, the length of Milwaukee makes it impossible for Toronto to share the ball. Trying to predict Kidd’s coaching strategy is a laugh. Toronto in seven. (1) Boston Celtics versus (8) Chicago Bulls “[Spears] The Bulls say guard Rajon Rondo has been suspended by the Bulls for one game, tonight versus Portland, for conduct detrimental to the team.” "So Rondo playing basketball” -Anonymous “Kelly "Maple Dick" "White Michael Jordan" "Literal GOAT" Olynyk with the crisp +29 off the bench.” - -poncho- May I just start off by saying that Boston is the weakest top seed we’ve seen for some time? I mean, they’re near the bottom of the league in rebounding, their defensive efficiency is outside the top ten, and they’re 5-10 against the 2-5 seeds. Heck, they technically haven’t won a playoff series as a group yet. I just have a very hard time trusting these guys over, well, any team. But what if that team is even less consistent? What if that team has statistics that support Wade being out benefited them? What if it still just makes no fucking sense to have Rondo/Butler/Wade all on the floor together? The season series seems to tell a simple story. Chicago’s second choice points were factors in them winning or losing. Gibson/Lopez are the guilty parties here, but ever since Chicago traded Gibson away, they’ve fallen in offensive rebounding. So, that’s a plus for Boston. They have more help to surround Isiah than they did last year, or at least, I hope they do. Horford is the only piece they truly added, but perhaps the improved offense of the surrounding cast is good as well. We all know the playoffs tend to be different because you can focus in on team’s tendencies. I worry about Boston being bothered when Isiah is somehow off rhythm. It is simply imperative that Horford, Olynyk, and the backcourt make their spot-ups. Now, here’s where Boston looks flimsy (outside of their rebounding and overall team defense) … Isiah is 5’9”. At best. Can you say, attack, attack, attack? In fact, if I’m Chicago, I’m attacking Isiah/Horford every trip down the floor; especially if I’m having Wade at point. Isolate him. Pick him apart with Horford and bank on him not being able to block it or threaten an offensive board if he helps. If Chicago can make Isiah/Horford liabilities in any way, they win, because they depend on both of these guys entirely too much. Then you have the Wade Playoff Factor… best example you have of this is last year. Wade has this tendency to just mysteriously become amazing from behind the arc at certain times and has made clutch shot after clutch shot. Of course, Boston is no slouch in fourth quarter scoring, but Wade still must be accounted for even at 35. Bradley historically is also his arch-nemesis. Should be interesting. Problems with Chicago though is that they may not have much talent to offensively stop a guy like Horford on the perimeter. They can throw multiple guys at Isiah and trap him as much as they want, but Horford shoots threes now. You can’t honestly expect guys like Lopez and Felicio to be out there in the perimeter to guard Horford and crash the glass successfully. Either way, the winner of this series will be decided on the glass and if Isiah’s teammates can contribute or not. I’m really serious in saying that this series will be closer than most people think. That’s weird talking about a 1/8 match-up but that truly is the case with this Boston team. Boston wins if: they keep up with Chicago on the glass, Isiah isn’t a liability and gets spot-up shooting help, and perimeter defenders in Bradley, Smart, and friends do their job defensively, Horford makes their frontcourt pay in pace-and-space. Chicago wins if: Isiah is pushed around, Chicago dominates the boards, playoff Wade. Boston in seven. (2) Cleveland Cavaliers versus (7) Indiana Pacers “Keep my kids’ name out of your mouth, keep my family out of your mouth. This is dad to dad. It’s a problem now.” “Another appearance by the Sheriff” – XZTALVENARNZEGOMSAYT “PG13 said he was most excited to see Isaiah Thomas during All Star Weekend. PG13 to Boston = confirmed” – I_Enjoy_Taffy LeBron has never lost in the first round in his entire career, so I won’t spend too much time on this one. This will be an interesting series if only to view how quickly Cleveland “flips the switch”. Even if they maintain the same 22nd ranking of defensive efficiency, their offense is more than enough to end Indiana. Indiana has serious depth issues to address. Stats show that outside of George and Turner, Indiana tends to struggle to outscore their opponents. They are also almost dead last in playing Morey Ball (scoring in the restricted area or behind the arc). Their dependency on George is clear. To be honest, the team has actually regressed defensively from last year too. There simply isn’t a single case for Indiana for a potential upset, but hey, George/Stephenson versus LeBron is always entertaining. Some other interesting stats to note is that Indiana is top five in both isolation and transition defense… but how did they regress defensively from last year? Bleh, I’m not wasting my energy to find out on a first-round exit team. Don’t expect much for this series to be more than a measuring stick on where Cleveland is defensively. Cleveland wins if: any two combinations of LeBron/Kyrie/Love show up, they score in their isolations, and LeBron assists on threes Indiana wins if: I get a girlfriend Cleveland in five (2) San Antonio Spurs versus (7) Memphis Grizzlies “This guy was made in a lab by Pop and Tim under the AT&T Center. “ – Orod23 on Kawhi “After seeing this man's wife I'm not doubting him. Ever. In anything.” – KD_All_Day on coach Fizdale Man, not this shit again. News broke out Thursday that Tony Allen will be out indefinitely. Any chance Memphis had going into this series just dropped to 0%. There’s no doubt this will be an ugly, slow-paced series. Fizdale did a decent job re-inventing Memphis in a way that maintains their defensive strength while implementing slightly more three-point shooting and relegating Randolph to the bench. Both Marc Gasol and Randolph should be fine for their match-ups for the most part. I… don’t really trust Aldridge these days, and we all know Pau Gasol’s defensive history. Still, Memphis struggled post All-Star mightily, and their offense is only ranked below average in efficiency at 17th. The problem for Memphis comes in when we look at the 2-3 positions. Leonard by far will be the most talented and important player from both teams. Who does Memphis have to slow him down? 40-year-old Vince Carter? James Ennis III? They have no hope in hell. The only backcourt scorer they can rely on is Conley, and once Leonard is on Conley, that’ll shut him down quick. Memphis doesn’t have that same luxury. Tony Parker’s performance this series could easily make this a 4-0 affair. They honestly don’t really need him, but if his output is anywhere close to Conley’s, they’re finished. They can hide Parker or bench him for Mills if he’s terrible. There’s simply not much for me to talk about in this series. Most of you probably won’t even read this and move on. San Antonio wins if: Leonard has two legs, two arms, and can breathe. Memphis wins if: Trump is impeached in the next few weeks. San Antonio in four. (1) Golden State Warriors versus (8) Portland Trailblazers “Guess what bricks are made of? Klay.” – SupahBallin “Zaza Pachulia as a fringe all-star every year is probably my favorite NBA glitch.” – APF29 Bleeeeeeeeh can I skip this one? Please? Uhhh Portland has one of the worst P&R Ball Handler team defense. Golden State is a top ten all-time offensive team for a third year. Golden State wins four out of five of their match-ups. I think. Golden State simply beats this team at every single relevant metric. You’re probably skipping over this match-up. Portland has no chance in hell outside of a serious injury to two or three players. Nurkic would have made this interesting… maybe. It’s the only part of Golden State’s defense that’s less than absolutely perfect. Golden State wins if: they have five players on the court. Portland wins if: Adam Silver overturns the Chris Paul Lakers trade. Golden State in four