What Should We Call Ghost Tours?

Pacing myself when Carnival season begins:

When Mardi Gras Day finally arrives:

What passes for Lent in New Orleans:

Tour managers when I explain the entire history of yellow fever before I even get to the ghost

When I take an emergency box office shift after not having done it in like three years

Every time they finish renovating a block on Bourbon Street

Late night drinking at Voodoo and the Tamale Guy walks in

Realizing on Saturday night that I volunteered to cover someone’s Sunday cemetery shift

The first time I ever saw a mule peeing

When I get a private tour for only two people and I ask them if they have any special requests, feedback, literally anything since they spent so much money

When guests try to engage me in a political debate

Gotta love those Jazz Fest Crowds

“We picked y’all out of all the tours on Tripadvisor!”

Midwestern mom got white girl wasted:

My entire Saints and Sinners tour:

“Please come in for Treme this morning, we have one guest, international cell phone”

When they start walking away before I even get to my tip line: